Ready Player One

I haven't read this series, in fact it's the first time I've ever heard of it.

The fighting scenes were interesting and had some logic in them, especially the part where you don't perform that efficiently with new weapons as compared to your old, trusted and tested ones.

I feel that a better job could've been done if a little bit more effort was put into explaining the environment. I kind of felt...lost and disconnected and unable to visualize the world around me. I feel that the main aim of an author is to create a connection with the reader and the world he/she has made and that just wasn't there in this story. This probably might've been due to my unfamiliarity with the series but the thing is that, fan fiction or not, you can't expect the readers to know the plot and thus not mention it at all in your work. Sure, people who are aware would probably have a vague idea of what is going on but what about the one's who haven't read the series? If your main aim was to create a trivia quiz, with a little role playing for fun, then I would suggest that you mention that in the topic of the game, as that way only the people who are aware of the series would read this. Even then the crux of reading something relies on the imagery and description so if you were to describe the world around you a bit more then I'm sure even the fans of the series would be interested in reading this. Just because your making a fan fiction, does not imply that environment description and world building are not essential and that you can simply assume the reader to know the story beforehand; on the other hand the aim of a fan fiction is to make you see that world through your own eyes and express it. All I could see here were just a bunch of random characters and factions being thrown at me without any explanation about who they are and what they are doing for what particular reason.

The 'death' links were not explained properly, providing a proper explanation to the cause of death and how the protagonist reacted to it is always essential as this gives a good flow to the story. An end game link just simply having two words('you died') makes things very non-immersive.

I didn't feel any connection or feeling for the protagonist, there was just one page which provided a few lines of backstory but that's it.

As for the grammar part, this could've been proofread a bit better to avoid a few abrupt changes in tenses and some typos here and there that sometimes do get in the way of immersion. Also the backstory page of the protagonist has a different font size and style as compared to the rest of the story, which makes it a bit difficult to read. All this could've easily been avoided with a bit of proofreading but I think that part was neglected before publishing.

All in all, the attempt was good and this could be considered a unique variant of a trivia quiz, but it's not that great as a fan fiction. Could've been much better with a bit more creativity. I give it a 2/8.

Yes I thought this followed the story events pretty well and thought it was well done. A few spelling mistakes but nothing too bad. 6/8

Rise up gamers!

Seemed like there was a lot of branches in the story, but each page was very short, and had a lack of detail. I feel like this is more of a summary of the book, and it doesnt feel like you added anything extra to make it yours.

I’m a fan of the book, so I at least knew what was going on, but some others might not know exactly what’s happening. Since this is more like a trivia game, I can kind of understand, but I don’t find trivia that fun.

If you are planning on continuing writing fan fiction, I’d recondmend checking out “Tips to Writie Better Fanfiction” by Chris, on this website. Also, I’m pretty sure that Mizal has some links in her profile that could prove to help you out a little bit.