Sir Osis

Player Rating6.34/8

"#139 overall, #7 for 2019"
based on 59 ratings since 04/26/2019
played 836 times (finished 67)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

It's about a time in the life of a knight named Sir Osis. There's a pony too

Winner of Sir Corgi's Lords of the Land contest.  Originally published April 14, 2019, but briefly unpublished for edits to the font and description.

This story is "Cave of Time" style. So just make use of that back button if you would like to see another path.  Please let me know what you thought of the story after you read it.  I appreciate comments.

"Sir Osis" is dedicated to my grandfather whom I never met.  Your granddaughter has an irreverent sense of humor.  

Special thanks to Ghost11 for the motivation, suggestion, and inspiration for one of the endings.  

 

Player Comments

Sir Osis is definitely a nice read. It's been quite a few months that I've read any of your work, and I can see a huge improvement from what I last remember from you. It makes me happy.

Coming to the story, Sir Osis is a light-hearted read, full of humorous dialogues. The narration was nice, and so was the overall setting. I, especially, loved how Sir Osis tries to be a hero, saving all kinds of damsels in distress; however, no such damsel could be found. That was funny. The story is full of dialogues and narratives I would consider witty and a much needed break from the (sort of) intense misadventures going on. Sir Osis seems like the sort of character who is bound to attract misfortune, whether he decides that chivalry is not dead and goes out or stays in because sleeping is always the better option. The story makes the protagonist a "real" person, dealing with varying dilemmas revolving around life and death (...literally). The different consequences following different actions lead to a better understanding of the protagonist's personality. Sir Osis is a knight who, though, constantly worries about the nobility of his actions, knows that all goes to trash when it comes to safeguarding his own life. Not exactly ideal per se, but very real, as a matter of fact. Although I feel that all endings are justified and satisfyingly apt, my most favourite one would be where he ends up being the step father to seven children; because, let's be honest, he's getting at least *something* here instead of ending up dead or shying and hiding away from potential acquaintances in other routes. XD

Overall, I enjoyed it.
-- Nehal on 4/23/2019 2:19:58 PM with a score of 0
I learned something new in the first sentence alone. A thrush is a songbird. Who would have known? I thought Cricket was going Shakespeare on us creating her own words. I know it’s only the first sentence, but this is the type of memorable thing that reflects positively on a story. For the reminder of my life every time I hear ‘thrush’, I’m going to think about Sir Osis. Well played, Cricket. Well played.

Shock factor is also included in the opening. The author goes into great detail about the pleasantness of the morning. We read about all the possible factors that contribute to a poor day. And yet the main character, Sir Osis, hates it. Like, why would a knightly man with assuming honorable characteristics hate such a good day? Read it to find out, dummy. And that’s what I did.

I think I saw this mentioned already, but the formatting is a bit distracting. It’s an easy fix too, but I’m guessing the contest deadline played into its apparent rushed import. No need to beat a dead horse on this issue. Unless it has blue eyes and a white walker rides atop it. Then you burn that MF.

I like the decision to go with a third person POV. It’s a nice change of pace from the typical storygame on this site. I will say the past-tense element sort of hurts the ‘game’ aspect since we’re reading about things that already happened in a passive voice (lots of ‘was’).

One thing I really enjoy about Cricket’s writing style is the amount of attention given to little detail. The first story I read of hers in the Creative Corner was the same way. I remember a lot of the comments being “the pacing’s too slow” or “it’s a lot of text about nothing”. With respect to those people, they’re flat out wrong. The attention given to seemingly miniscule detail is part of the reason why Cricket’s writing is memorable and not boring. Think back to my first paragraph. The detail given to a songbird in the background created a positive response that would not have occurred if was taken with a surface approach.

Knowing Cricket a little bit, I’m not surprised she took a humoristic approach. I sort of expected an archetype anti-hero with an “f u and your mother” attitude. Sir Osis is vastly different. His bumbling, care-free demeanor is creatively shown through his actions and not the author telling us about him. You get a sense of who he is by the things that he does i.e. peeing through a window and getting most of it outside. Cricket must have done her research because that’s something every guy has done... Unless Cricket actually incorporated ‘his’ own life experience here.

No surprise that Cricket’s first storygame is deeply entertaining. Hopefully we see many more stories published in the near future!
-- ninjapitka on 4/15/2019 1:05:03 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed controlling Sir Osis’ adventures. He had some pretty entertaining mishaps, I liked it when he noticed tracks and panicked, before realising they were his own. His cardio work-out as an excuse was a nice touch. The Silver Arrow of Fortune was also pretty funny.

As well as the Sir Osis charater being funny, so was the writing. I liked the language techniques you used such as “with all the speed of a drunken butterfly” and also found “Here was the blacksmith, the weaver, the tailor, the church, and any nice thing you would expect from a respectable village except for a brothel. As his lord did not allow that within his walls, the brothel was set up immediately in front of and to the left of the outermost gate” laughable, although coming from Cricket that sort of humour should not have been much of a surprise.

I think at times you could have varied sentence lengths a bit more. There were a lot of long sentences of similar length in quick succession of each other. This meant that in parts the story started to take on a monotonous and I found it starting to become hard to read.
On a similar note, I also thought that sometimes (not often, but I’ll mention it anyway) the story could have done with a little less description and moved on a bit faster.
The times that you did work in shorter sentences it worked well and effectively and helped with the flow of the story and I think using shorter sentences more would really improve the readability of the story.

I did get confused about the abundance of Mary’s in the story, but it was also kind of funny to keep encountering Mary’s in different paths. At first, I thought it was the same person, which actually could’ve worked out too if stay-at-home-path Mary broke up with the husband that was mentioned in go-to-the-village-path Mary.

I’m not really sure what ‘Cave of Time’ style is, but I liked the choices at the first part of the story. After that, it seemed to get a bit like ‘choose the right path or die’. Examples of this are when you choose between leaving the prisoners and freeing them, and also choosing between attempting escape and waiting for an opportunity. Choosing the wrong choice there, and also in a few other places abruptly ends the stories.

There were pretty much no grammatical errors that I noticed. I did catch some misspelt words (‘lofe’ on the ‘Wait for Opportunity’ page and then some missing dialogue tags on the ‘Leave them’ page) but aside from these little typos it was pretty sound.
I did notice that there were font changes which were quite distracting at times and seemed to randomly switch between pages.

Overall, I think this was a pretty good effort for your first story (I mean, we can’t really count Ineptitude…) and I’m excited to see what’s to come in the future from you :)
-- ghost11 on 4/14/2019 8:40:54 PM with a score of 0
This was a super amusing storygame.
Good luck Cristet, best wishes.
-- MrTrickyC on 2/28/2020 12:00:38 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed the imagery and the great used of language, and I especially loved the descriptions of the old man with the potions. All criticism I have is a recommendation to reread and double-check for any misspellings and typos. Overall I really enjoyed it and am happy this story was shown to me.
-- andskoti on 1/6/2020 10:29:56 PM with a score of 0
Nice boy would like to congratulate you for making this gamebook. I mean
-- nice boy. yesI'maNiceBoy on 11/23/2019 3:38:54 PM with a score of 0
I liked it, It reminds me of A Yankee in The Arthurian court. The flow is nice and has that snarky intelligent tone and the descriptions are fitting and descriptive. My main criticism is there are not enough descriptions of places and characters that makes some moments feel that the action goes too fast. Great fun
-- poison_mara on 11/20/2019 3:13:49 PM with a score of 0
Rereading this was a delight. I liked a lot of things in this story, to the point where there is no way I can cover all of them in this review. If you are the kind of autist who reads reviews before storygames, how about you like don’t do that. This story won’t take you more than an hour to read all of it’s paths so just go do that instead of spoiling yourself.

In any case, how should I put this. This story is fucking holarias. The beaver that gnawed off your dick was my favorite thing in this game. This story is just comedic gold, and that within itself justifies reading it. I mean writing a funny game is hard, and even if you do it well, some people won’t find it funny. Though this game certainly did it for me, and chances are it will for most people.

Though this story does focus a lot on comedy, it is very well written as well. Some of the descriptions in this game are just stellar, and if I am willing to use that word you know it’s good. You could write a story that is on paper is amazing in every way, and then fuck up on the writing and create a pile of shit. Thankful, this story is not like that and is able to take advantage of its ideas.

In conclusion, I don't have much to say that already hasn't been said. There is a reason that this game has been reviewed by so many people. I can say with confidence that this is one of the best comedic storygames on this site. It is clear that a lot of passion went into this, and the result is marvelous. While under normal circumstances I would give this game a 6, I won't do that this time on account of how hard it is to make a good game with a focus on comedy.

7 out of 8
-- MicroPen on 11/5/2019 10:10:54 PM with a score of 0
This was a very enjoyable story. There isn't a whole lot to criticize it for, but there is plenty to praise it for.

I really liked how humorous it was. The comedic elements never felt forced or out of place to me. A knight riding a stubborn pony named Alphonse or a old lady complaining about the effect plays have on the youth is all very funny, but never manage to take you out of the story with its absurdity. I think this story really shines by treading the line between absurdity and realism, and I think it's very impressive.

But it isn't all comedy. Sir Osis truly wants to be the hero he believes he is. And it was honestly sad to see how he reacted to getting beaten by bandits. There are a few times throughout the story where you just kind of feel bad for Sir Osis. But he just gets back on the horse (pony) and keeps on trying to be the knight he wants wants to be, which makes it better. Unless he dies. Which happened a few times for me.

All in all the writing was very good. I really enjoyed the numerous analogies with regards to our horses speed ("as fast as a drunk butterfly"). I think the mixing of some modern forms of speaking worked well in contrast to Sir Osis' "heroic" manner of speaking. There were a few spelling mistakes throughout, but nothing huge. There really isn't much to complain about with regards to the story in general.

This was a fun story. Not too long, but enjoyable throughout. I hope you make more stories in the future, if you want to. You are very good at it.
-- TurnipBandit on 11/1/2019 3:49:54 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed the lighthearted, witty misadventure of Sir Osis of Liver. My only complaint is that it was very heavy-handed with the tongue-in-cheek. "Too much sugar", if you get my meaning.
-- VainCorsair on 9/14/2019 2:08:36 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments