Player Comments on Slaying Song

Another story from Brad!
To review it, I'm afraid!
Know that I suck at poems,
But an attempt shall be made!

To write it all in verse,
Must have been quite tough!
In this review I'll imitate,
Though my attempt will be rough.

The text changes colors,
Giving it more weight.
Combined with the background picture,
the presentation is great!

A couple of the choices
Are only there for flavor.
Though quite a few others
Have consequences graver.

The "antagonist" is fun,
The hero is, too.
Will he fight or run,
The choice is up to you!

I've lavished you with praise,
As it is quite deserved...
Yet now I'll have to raise
A flaw I have observed.

The story is quite short,
the side characters fall flat.
That is quite the fault,
A major one at that.

Despite that, I've had fun
This story is quite great!
In the end, I've rated it
An eight out of eight!

Wow. Great stuff here. And I’m not a ballad fan. I love the setup and the layout on the title page (this one where we are now), and I appreciate the credit for the drawing in the background, too. In the story the color and the font are excellent and work very well with the story and the setting. I love the pressure on the first page to do the bidding of the poor townsfolk!

I like the choices and how the affect the rest of the story. Some might say they’re false choices, but the way they direct the action of the story is really, really good. And with a story of this type, I can’t imagine the work that would be involved with making that number of unique paths, anyway.

This is a really great short story. The prose is just excellent and it is not at the expense of the story. This could even be a story without the prose, even if it were a short story. If I should ever feel the need to write a ballad, I will certainly return here for inspiration. In fact, anyone who wants to see a good story in ballad form should read this story!

Well-rhymed. Some good simple character building in there too. Felt like I got to know the dragon a little before it [flew away / ate me].

Ahem.

To begin this review,
this tale was most beauteous and well-designed.
Its visuals and
Vocabulary were its strengths most prime.

Defects were few and slight.
'Twas bit short, a few lines could change wording.
Rhymes were not overly
complex, but, overall, a good telling!

Great poem. I liked the prose and it rhymes! One thing I really liked is the way you played around with fonts to make some story beats have more impact. One example was the choice to resist the dragon's hypnoticism. The letters are a little blurred as if you had to struggle to make the decision. I thought it very clever. Everything else is pretty much the epitome of aestetically pleasing; from the background to the colours. Suffice to say, I like it a lot

It's short, but good. I liked it!

Played with friends, and highly enjoyed it. We LOVED the verse, extremely well written.

I write poetry as a hobby and this had nothing amateur or forced about it. Very impressive. And I know how much work goes into just one page of rhyming verse, I appreciate a LOT went into this. Quite inspiring, thank you.

My friend said she wants to have a reason to attack a dragon and not just be out killing for the sake of it.

Good but short, made me sad when it ended

WARNING: Spoilers Ahead

I thought the writing was beautiful, honestly. It takes a lot of skill to craft a well-thought out, meaningful tale in prose that must both rhyme and stick to a certain amount of syllables per line. More than that, for such a short narrative, you managed to create a wide diversity of endings that I thoroughly enjoyed. My favourite had to be the one where you chose to empathize with the dragon and free them, so that they could take care of their young. This ending felt very satisfying: the true 'winning' ending, whereas attempting to kill the dragon resulted simply in disappointment. Overall, I liked how you turned the entire convention of the 'knight slaying the fearsome dragon' into a (potentially) moral dilemma.

I love the background of your story page, as well. It is beautiful and instantly drew me in to the story. Your title makes excellent use of alliteration. For such a short story, you did an excellent job. I've rated this a 7/8 overall.

Cute. In a very good way

I thoroughly enjoyed it

I really like it! Everything rhymed, and the pace was great. I'm actually jealous.

realy good one

I loved how smooth the poetry was, because I've tried to make stories like this before and I struggled.

This was a great story game. Very well written! Excellent job

I'd rate you a meh! On the nomnom scale. I applaud you for writing a very unique short story, I liked your ballad, but I just wish that it was longer... The reason why I rated it so low was just because I'm not a big fan of these types of stories, but kudos to you!
Conversion Chart:
yuk!=0-1 stars
eh!=1-1.9 stars
meh...=2-2.9 stars
nom=3-3.9 stars
nomnom=4-4.9
nomnomnom!=5-6

it was short and simple, I took a rather heartwarming path.

Wow! This is great! For someone who loves music and fantasy, this was one of my favorite stories on the sight I've seen!

It's really good, we loved it
It was great to pass the time
The thing we liked the most is that
It was all in rhyme! :)

Nice game. Yay, the villagers just freed the dragon from its chains. ;)

I loved the rhyme scheme and everything, and it was a fun read, but all the endings were...how would you say this? The endings were rather lackluster, basically.
Still, fun and I would rate it a 5/8.

I quiet enjoyed it, you kept your rhyme scheme going, a skilled ballad. Though the story wasn't really there, maybe I'm in the wrong but it's still pretty good.

very enjoyable read!

A slaying song indeed!

Beautifully written. Yet I couldn't find a reason for the story. Everything I did felt pointless, and neither choosing to free the dragon nor kill it felt like an obstacle was overcome or that some impact was had on the world at large.

Upon a replay I found the mind control path, and I thought, "Now we're going somewhere interesting! Alright!"

But no, just the same old endings of free or leave and nothing more.

Eh. Again, writing is great, although some stanzas felt like they broke the flow of the piece. I'm just disappointed in the story. Anyone else could have gone besides the hunter and got their ass mind controlled, beat up, or could have left or freed the dragon.

Simply, my actions, and more importantly, I the protagonist, felt utterly pointless.

Fun read tho.

4/8

This story was rather short, but it was poetic and beautiful. I've never seen someone do anything like this. I loved it!

Very nice story, though I think that the dragon slaying idea wasn't so original. You portrayed it well though, props to you.

Nice poem, I didn't notice any errors. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Awesome.

LOL, I knew it would be dragons.

But VERY nice. Between this and pugpup's entry, the Fantasy section's gotten a couple of real gems out of this contest.

Usually I can't stand it when people mess with the fonts, but you picked a good one, the presentation is great here. And the poem itself flows well, I enjoyed the conversation with the dragon, so all around a good and entertaining read.

Very good and original, I loved the rhymes. Good work :)