Player Comments on The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Ha! I actually really enjoyed it! :D

The idea, while lolrandom, was really creative and had me laughing. It was a good, original idea and I would definitely want to read more from the author!

I was hesitant, because it seemed really random, like one of those games that try to be funny but fail, but there was a fair amount of detail I guess and it felt well fleshed out in my opinion.

It's not the longest storygame, but I guess it's not easy to make a 100 page storygame about a boy dieing from eating vegetables. Despite not having a huge number of pages, there were more then a few sentences on each page.

I can understand that this story is too strange for some people, but I enjoyed it :D

5/8.

I liked this, well written and different. It seems you might have chosen a more exciting premise for a story this well written but I guess it's semi-autobiographical or at least inspired by real events as some of the best stories are. You have a knack for writing but I think the endings could have been better and it's unfortunate that, as in real life, there is no way to get out of eating your vegetables in the end.

Not expected ending, but loved it!!

Sad :,(

That was kind of funny.

I think that this philosophical novel was a very nice choice for my students to read about gastronomic events. 5/8 because my student didn't really like the death of Willy and they didn't like cauliflower too. You are the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Good luck with your life.

Willy Atkins was my son. How could you do this to him? I loved that boy, and you sliced him to BITS! Curse you. Curse you for the rest of your days!

food

it was cool and gory

it was pretty bland and short, it would be more interesting if there were more variables/outcomes.

Nice story, but one little tip. Don't be afraid to just use tge word "said" in dialogues, it makes the whole story flow nicer.
You don't have to use every synonym in the world, mkst readers gloss over the word said, but other words halt the flow of dialogue and can kinda be distracting if you use it too often.

This is the most apparent example I picked out.

"It looked like broccoli." Richard noted.

"But it was white! Do you think it came from aliens?" Bonnie questioned.

"My mommy is a doctor and she said vegetables can kill you, do I won't eat it." Scott proudly stated.

"Your mom wouldn't say that! It's not true!" Willy responded. 

Otherwise, fun humor, it made me chuckle and it's definitely child friendly!!!

This is another story that I have read the the special needs kids, and the girl I read it to loved it so much! I especially enjoyed the ending, and so did she.

I thought the idea is good, but it seemed to be lacking something. Maybe you could have made it to where you, Willy Adkins, tries to do everything in his power to not eat the vegetables?

Then again, the ending I got (classroom ending) was a bit of a twist. Were there more endings, I couldn't tell.

10/10

I liked it well enough

Quite entertaining. I especially love how some of the ends are played straight while others have the twist. Usually I like more diversity in endings, but in this case I appreciate the effect you're going for.

Nice story. There was a typo in the end page where willy is taking phycharic lesson. The page says he is wally now willy, but thats not a bad mistake, just something to point out

Good ITS FUN

Lol cute story. Short and sweet.

This storygame made me smile.

This was actually pretty funny :D (especially the teacher ending)

Well, this was quite interesting. Well-written but the story was rather odd, but then again, I suppose that was the intended effect. Quite interesting indeed, but I now will be looking over my shoulder for aliens everytime that I eat my vegetables.

So points for originality :)

It is simple, but good. Liked it.

so... it s a story about a mentally ill child? weird.

That was pretty cool.

Very interesting story. I also like the names Freddy and Bonnie. LOL

strange but imaginative

This is............ strange

Too short for my liking. . .

Ok, this is wierd...

An unusual story, but it was very imaginative and fun. I gave it a 4/8.

Freddy? Bonnie? Scott? Sounds like fnaf. (Freddy Fazbear, Scott Cawthon, Bonnie the Bunny)

Wow, very interesting story! I liked the writing style and the humorous tone. This story was also had incredible replay value, as it was very branched out. I only disliked how the story's perspective was on the child, but the choices were on the parents, though nevertheless, this was a fun experience. 5/8.

I love this story game. I like how you can directly decide what happens, but there is reasoning for it. It is very fun to control a boy who will die from eating all his vegetables. Great job!

A simple take on a relatable, picky childhood, this one's a joy to play through.

Heehee. I need to tell THAT story to my parents...

Good, lots of detail, LOTS of text. Keep writing.

This piece was very descriptive and was pleasing to read. I would have loved this "Willy" character! I have a few suggestions to add:

1. Please make more!
2. Where does he go to school?
3. What grade is he in?
4. Etc.

Question four is my main question to ask:
ETC.
I mean, there needs to be more in detail information in this story. Thank you for reading my comment and spending your time to write this.

(P.S. Make another story but about alien vegetables :3)

When I first read the title, I could've sworn that I had heard it before. There were a few spelling mistakes and a more diverse choice of verbs would have been preferable, but I liked the story. Well done.

You should double check for errors next time, but it's fine otherwise.