The Wormtongue Journals: Book One
mystery / thriller
, #31 for
Played 1,229 times (finished 96)
"Trek through the forest"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"Aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
"The Wormtongue Journals (or The Secret Diaries of Dr. Richtor Kain)" is an occult adventure that is serious and involving. Parental and viewer advisory should be cautioned.
You are a detective investigating the mysterious disappearence of Dr. Richtor Kain. As you enter his house, you discover a clutter of books in his private study. The books are leather bounded with the words "R. Kain" written on it. This is the beginning of the first clue. But as you open the book, you see three words written on the first page: The Wormtongue Journals.
Who or what is Wormtongue, and does he have something to do with Dr. Kain's disappearence?
You have a lot to work on here.
First of all, it's another "part one," with no sequels or anything, so it's incomplete and I have no sense of closure because I don't know how it ended. It's a shame, because this was good writing, but I think the ratings fell a bit because it's incomplete.
Like I said, the writing was pretty good and I liked the plot you had, because it was an interesting concept and you fleshed it out quite well.
I'm glad you included a small amount of humor in this. (R. Kain sounding like Arcane.)
The character development was alright, but I think the only characters you put any effort into were Doctor Kain and the main character, but even the main character didn't have that much.
Please publish something complete, because this was good. I hate to give it a lower rating then I would have for being a part one.
on 3/26/2017 3:36:56 PM with a score of 0
Eh. Nice idea, I guess, but it is not really developed at all.
It always causes me to pause when I find one of these stories that describes itself as a "Part One", especially when the story is so very short. Mostly I pause, because most of the time the author does not return to complete it, and the story just hangs without any resolution whatsoever. This story is less than 3000 words, and its content barely constitutes a prelude. What happens here barely introduces a story, and just drops you when there is something interesting to explore. Since this story is so old, I doubt the author will come back and finish it.
If one wants to see an example of storygames done in parts and done well, perhaps look at the Homo Perfectus games. Each one can stand alone, but each successive one adds to the story of the last.
The writing is not bad. There is a little bit of branching, but not many choices, and the story is incomplete.
Overall, I rate this story as incomplete. A nice idea and concept that could have been good with enough effort.
on 6/7/2022 11:34:45 AM with a score of 0
Cthulhu? Is that you? Oh no it's a premise of a knowledgeable deity-type summoned via book/name. Disappointing.
on 6/18/2019 2:22:46 PM with a score of 0
I only did about three pages and then it ended. Did I do something wrong because I only chose the most logical answers?
on 3/11/2018 10:30:34 AM with a score of 0
Great premise and start of a story that ends abruptly. I wish there was more here to read, but alas tis but a fools wish. For I know that will never be.
on 11/29/2016 1:11:43 PM with a score of 0
The premise is good and the writing stayle fun, but the story is too short, doesn't quite flow properly and there are many SPG errors. A decent start - could be a great story with some development.
— Jordi P on 11/7/2014 11:54:21 AM with a score of 0
this was very short
— damon on 11/1/2014 9:39:12 PM with a score of 0
I read "Wormtongue" and I assumed it had something to do with Lord of the Rings. Ignoring that, I thought the game was pretty good. Nice and dark, even though I didn't really understand what the book was about or how all the events linked together.
on 1/17/2013 9:47:02 AM with a score of 0
on 2/14/2012 12:50:09 PM with a score of 0
1 big problem, don't give people the option to read the book if it just ends the story, just make them read it or something
on 4/7/2008 9:15:48 PM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Love & Dating
Mystery / Thriller
Puzzles / Games
News & Updates
The Parlor Room
Adv. Editor Forum
Bugs and Problems
Help & Info
Terms Of Service
Who Is Online
81 guests and
version 21.6 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2022, Halogen Studios Entertainment |