They murk in the darknes...

I can't even begin to list the errors in this storygame. I'm a bit worried. You do know that you're supposed to out a space after a period and sentence stoppers, right?

The spelling and grammar errors seriously made me rate this lower then I would have, because even the TITLE is spelled wrong.

However, the writing was actually really good. If you'd fixed the grammar and spelling and added more detail and character development, I would have given it a five, maybe higher.

I loved the endings and finding all of them, but it was very easy in this short storygame. If this didn't have quite a decent amount of writing on each page, I would have put it under very, very short.

It was quite illogical at many points in the storygame and some events and choices didn't make much sense, and sometimes the actions didn't relate to the choices all that much.

3/8.

Really big grammar, spelling, and punctual errors were frequent throughout the story making it very irritating to read through. The big one was the lack of spaces after a period. Editing and/or proof reading would boost my rating up. But will probably not happen since this was made such a long time ago. 3/8.

So I decided to read the whole thing and the story was understandable, though you really should put spaces between words as well as commas and other punctuation marks. The story wasn't bad but I think one thing that could be a draw back for people who only play it once is that the path where you choose to kill the guy goes on a lot longer than any of the paths where you choose not to kill him, which would make the game really short for a whole bunch of people, since loads of people would choose not to kill the bully.

Agonizingly hard to read. Whenever there was a place where a sentence-level mistake could be made, it was made. If I got handed this for an essay in my class I would look at the student for a very long time until they got uncomfortable and then slowly hand it back to them.

It's ok. The storyline isn't the things I would do, so it's hard to get into it.

I got the 3rd best, 2nd best, and Special endings after going back a few times.
But I'll stop gloating and get to the review.

First, grammar and punctuation. What I think you need to work on is making sure you have a space between you comma and your word. Not example,example, try example, example. Get it? Sort of? Maybe? Okay. Same with periods.
There are also a few grammatical mistakes, which, of course, I can't remember right this second. But please, try reading some books. Maybe try and match them. Maybe?

Next, the choices. I mean, I chose to go down the tunnel. I didn't choose to kill them! I went into the house. I didn't have an option to try to break my way out! I chose to kill one guy, stabbing him once would be enough to keep him away from me- I couldn't choose to keep killing him!

I know this was made a long time ago, I know this review may be ignored, but I wanted to leave a review anyway to help you in the future.

Good plot and storyline; however, there are numerous typos, grammatical errors, etc. I mean, just look at the title. I would have rated it higher if not for all the errors, but if you fix everything, then you've got a good storygame.

Just realized this was the author of the Aether Frost story, which I liked quite a bit more. He's really improved in the years since writing this one. (tbf even this one might have been somewhat salvageable, if it had been proofread and edited. The basic idea is fine.)

My God this was bad. Even the title is misspelled.

So glad this site eventually started having standards. 3.25? This would be an immediate one and done situation if posted today.

I liked the story