Player Comments on ULYSSES: The Pegasi Incident

This should probably be re-tagged "fan fiction," as this is without a doubt "Star Trek" in a very thin disguise. Some of the terminology has been changed up ("Federation of Worlds" instead of "Federation of Planets," and "teleportation device" instead of "transporter," to name some of the more obvious examples) but otherwise this story reads like a draft script for a Next Generation episode. I even helps if you imagine the voices of Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes as you read the dialogue contained herein.

But "Ulysses" brings nothing new to the genre, I'm afraid. The story is comparatively well-written as far as spelling and grammar go, but there are no new ideas here. There are, however, a few plot holes. To wit: If I just teleported across space in the blink of an eye, from my starship to this space station, then how in heck is a closed door a problem? Instead of 18 choices to either hack the door or ask my telepathic counselor (*cough*TROI*cough*) to see what useless information she can provide, why not just ask Scotty to beam me over?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a life-long Star Trek fan, and seem genetically predisposed to seek out (and pay money to watch, if necessary) any studio production with the words "Star Trek" in the title... even if it's crap directed/produced/inspired by J. J. Abrams. I'm old enough to have seen every single Trek movie in their original theatrical releases. And more relevantly, I recently published my own story on this site that was itself an homage to Gene Roddenberry.

This story was published on this site in 2006, which is significant because that was about the time that fan-produced Star Trek lore exploded on the internet, apparently to fill the void after the cancellation of Enterprise in 2005. There were not one, but two exceptionally detailed recreations of the original 1960s Star Trek sets, each the basis of elaborate, well-funded, and almost professionally produced unofficial episodes. These in turn inspired more and more fan-produced episodes of varying quality. Much of this is probably still available on YouTube, even though CBS cracked down on this phenomenon when one production made the fatal error of running a successful go-fund-me campaign.

I've watched a good portion of that fan fiction--some of it even produced by honest-to-god Star Trek veterans like Walter Koenig and Tim Russ--and most of was, well, meh at best. One episode produced in Georgia about an Orion slave girl really stood out, but most of this was more about an individual's interpretation of the character James T. Kirk--either the swaggering action hero, or the thoughtful and considerate 23rd Century gentleman.

All of these fan episodes were content to exist within the format established by the Paramount versions of Star Trek, where every single planet looked like southern California, all of the aliens were just people disguised by whatever the makeup department came up with that week, and every civilization seemed to be governed with all the pomp and circumstance of a town council.

So having just recently survived that era, and now in a position where I'm eagerly anticipating the airing of Star Trek: Picard later this year, I read this story fully aware of what I was probably getting myself into.

And I was neither disappointed nor surprised. Not only is the name "Ulysses" is hardly original in the grander scheme of western literature, this story in general is not a stand-out in the grander scheme of "Trek." The list of characters is identical to the list of bridge offers about the titular starship (in Trek, if you're not a bridge officer, then what the hell DO you do?), they come across a mystery, they encounter adversity, and they overcome obstacles by the excessive quotation of technobabble. It's just that the professional writers who worked for Paramount did this so much better.

And then I got the ending that, judging by the other reviews, everyone seems to get: a cliffhanger that directs me to a website link (no longer functional 13 years later) to buy a book if I want to find out how the story ends. Considering that I didn't even want to go back and see if there were any other endings, I hope the author isn't holding out hope he might have made another sale.

I have read at least one other story on this site by the same author, and now that I think about it, that one reminded me of Robotech, or one of those similar weekday cartoon series from the 1980s. So I'm going to hazard a guess that the author is about my age, and like too many members of Generation X (here's looking at you J. J. Abrams, Seth MacFarlane, and Quentin Tarantino!) the temptation to emulate the pop culture fixations of our youth is simply too strong to resist.

Alright I played the game and went through all it's options and loved it. At first I thought the story was guided but then realized that there were different options and it was not always a happy ending. In fact different ends which I love. Great game and well written.... I'm looking forward to the actual books.

Absolutely excellent story with nicely branching paths that lead to different events. I noticed no problems with tenses. I'm not sure what you could change to make this better - it's great how it is. Nice pictures, too.

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what u never played tubersimulator yet.

It's a fun read. Too bad it's not long enough, and no option of opening fire on some ship.... ;)

10/10 best choose your own story!

I was annoyed when the story cut off abruptly asking the reader to visit another website (which seemed unavailable) in order to finish. I feel as though an unspoken agreement btwn writer and reader was broken; we invested the time to immerse ourselves in the plot, learning characters, setting, etc... and no payoff.

Additionally, the story seemed somewhat uninspired in that it blatantly ripped off Star Trek. Virtually every cast member was a tweaked carbon copy of mostly TNG's characters (some TOS in there, tho). Couldn't the author do something less...predictable?

Good, but forced me to visit a website to finish the game!

As amazing as this is supposed to be, I couldn't find myself immersed in the plot. It's cliche and I really didn't want to read on by the time the book ended. Perhaps I didn't follow the most interesting route, but this was slightly funner than homework. I have really fun homework.

really? I thought this game lasted. But you have to go buy it from another site? Worst experience on this site to date.

It's a good story, I just feel like you should have given us a full book instead of a teaser. I suppose nobody likes unexpected marketing.
6/8

This was pretty good, the different races are really interesting.

Very, very brilliant story. I liked how the story had many different paths to branch off from, and that I actually could follow the character and story development.

The only way to make it better is if you lets us play the full version so 7/8

Amazing story a lot of choises!

wow! this game is great! i would totally buy it if i could.

I was just getting into it, and then it ended abruptly. I'd like to read the rest without having to buy it.

This is the best demo ive ever seen in this website. A great story, please finish it.

Awww. I really wish I could find out what happens in my path. This story was brilliant! 7/8

Great story line.... Just add some more stuff like after you contact the tiger man in the suit :P. Besides that IT IS PERFECT!!!

Hey. Great game. I want to see what happens next.

Good

I wish we could finish it hear

Definitly hated the cut off.

Very well written, but I must point out the many, many, MANY similarities to Star Trek. I feel as though it ripped it off. Federation of Worlds? Really?

Also, the Ulysses was reminiscent of the Enterprise to the power of ten.

7/8

Keep up the good work. Don't be afraid to put some bad endings. I can help if wanted.

Awesomeness in its pure form!

You've got a Federation, an intrepid starship commander and crew, a science officer, an alien empath counserlor, a strained relationship with an allied proud warrior race. It essentially feels like Star Trek with the serial numbers filed off. Also, I think for the CYOA format, one should stick with the traditional format of having a single character point of view. I didn't get the impression that the choices really mattered here as they always railroaded to the same point. But then again, this seems to just be the beginning of the story. Too bad the author bowed down to capitalism and are forcing us to purchase the rest of the book.

A very good story that ends with an exciting cliffhanger. Slightly short, but it is a demo after all. Definitely one to read if you enjoy sci-fi.

how about one of the option is that you can have a small bubble like shield that protects you

Gave it a 1 out of 5, not because i disliked the story, but because of your shameless profiteering.

Either release the full story for free, or take it off this site. People like you give capitalism a bad name.

I felt it was a scam. It started off very good but having to pay to finish it ruined the whole thing. Poor form guys poor form

I would love to read more but the webpage didnt come up on how to buy the paperback :/

Really interesting

Good story, I am really interested to know what happens next. Very well written.

Fantastic, too bad the full version isn't available on the site :(

Great stuff. But the fact that's it's a fucking comertial makes me sick, as there is no real way to win. So, fuck off. Create something great and distribute it for free on this websight. Don't post a fucking comertial. Thank you!

The whole thing should be online

Wow, rich development of both character personalities and the world at large. Background information is written into the story in an unobtrusive way, achieving a good balance between past and present. My only disappointment is that I can't finish the story right away! Once again, fantastic work!

Loved it. OK, so it sounds a bit like a star trek homage. I love Star Trek. Therefore I don't mind this at all. Great job, although next time try to come up with some more unique characters.

Nice

Nothing interesting to say about, infact it was too boring.

It's just an advertisement for a book.

damn demo cutting me off like that

I agree, because authors shouldn't receive any payment whatsoever for their works. They should give books away for free, because everyone will be able to read the entire thing for free on the Internet.

i liked it a lot. the demo was nice and all but instead of purchasing the book i think you should make a second part of this so that we don't have to purchase the book.

very similar to Star Trek. but good story

okay

Planning to buy the book

Great but why did it have to end like that ? :(

I dont really get it like is it a virus or what? but i still think its great

It very much reminds me of Star Trek but its very fun, for a second I thought I died but it was just the end of the demo.

Ulysesses was very long I was very bored. Thank you have a nice day.
Love,
Jimbo

Paul, do not ever stop writing. This is on my favorite stories list. Amazing. 8/8.

A spinoff on next generation.

wish the demo was longer but otherwise pretty good.

It's a cool storygame.

Very nice! Well written, interesting story. Great use of the choices with the characters- better alternative to using "you" everywhere. I -must- buy the ebook for the rest!

Amazing. Simply amazing. Easily an 8/8, 'nough said.

Hi guys! The final, edited version of the book, has been published, and is available for purchase! This web playable demo is not the most recent version of the book. Spelling and grammar errors have been corrected by my editor since then, however, the story remains unchanged, so this demo gives a good idea of how the book goes. Thanks for reading it :) - Paul Turner

I was a bit skeptical at first, because of all the similarities to Star Trek, but by the time I reached the cliffhanger I was intrigued. How will the Ulysses' crew solve the mystery and avoid antagonizing the Cassians? Very good.

I think the story idea is strong; the overall concept is OK; the writing could use the tender ministrations of a pro or semi-pro editor, for grammar and succintness.

I'm looking forward to purchasing a copy when its ready.

Excellent story telling. Fast pace action, quick thinking fun. Great job!!!

Awesome! 7/8! just make it a bit longer, with more fighting.

Nice I need to play again

Wow, you're good! An original idea with great story, characters, setting, and plot! This may be my favorite story on the site!

Very, very good.

awesome game! very well writton I look forward to the next instalment.

Clearly one of the best games on the site! Good job!

GREAT GAME!

Wonderful, wonderful game! This is yet another game that I must add to my list of favorite games! I have to say, great storyline, great writing, and amazing ideas! Great job! 8/8

Very cool, I liked the detailed story and the chance to have a sort of overview of everything rather than just first person.

FANTASTIC!

Best storygame on this whole site. Seriously, stuff the website, publish it as a book. CYOA or not, this is/would be the best story/storygame I've ever read. Awesome work. I'd buy it if it was a book.

Excellent story! I look forward to the next episode!

partial victory!!! sweet. nice game. i recommend this game for featuring. seriously. great writing. i would only bring up, i dont like the "page numbers" on the top of each page. some people do though, so its your choice.