You Choose (Part I)

Player Rating1.42/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 38 ratings since
played times (finished )

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length1/8

"Make sure not to blink"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

You choose your own destiny. To laugh, cry, hug, kiss, love and everything. "You Choose" will be separated into parts. This is Part I. Enjoy!

Player Comments

It is useless to separate a game with the length of 1/8 into parts. I feel like this needs a lot more effort put into it, and there was barely any descriptive writing. The spelling and grammar was okay. You don't need to put *your name*, the reader doesn't really care what name they have.

1/8 for me
-- Hello243 on 8/6/2017 9:52:42 AM with a score of 0
short :( and give the players more leeway on what they can do and how to change the story.
-- Honeydusk842 on 4/30/2016 1:55:41 PM with a score of 0
The Only choice was to open a fricken window?
Make it longer dammit!
-- Karateprincezzz on 4/29/2016 5:02:26 AM with a score of 0
What just happened?
-- DesertEagle on 4/28/2016 10:58:58 PM with a score of 0
Worser than Trump.
-- Anonymous on 4/28/2016 7:42:14 PM with a score of 0
What the fuck was that?
-- Sigh on 4/28/2016 6:45:03 PM with a score of 0
I'm going to take a wild guess and say English isn't your first language. At least I hope not, considering you used the phrase, "You should decrease your imagination."
-- Briar_Rose on 4/28/2016 4:44:21 AM with a score of 0
That was fairly dire.
I particularly liked the line "Mm.. I'm your mate "caller's name" who turns out to be my crush. I'll list the mistakes wrong with this six word sentence.
1) No one starts a conversation with Mm unless they are a robot.
2) Girls rarely refer to themselves as "your mate" (I'm assuming it's a girl because you didn't identify the gender).
3) People rarely tell you that they are your mates. They tend to assume you know that your both friends already.
4) If you are too lazy to think up a name for the person calling you then you have a long way to go.
5) There is no reason for "caller's name" to be in quotation marks.
6) As crush is a verb not an adjective we use it to say "I have a crush on..." rather than "... is my crush".
You lack a story, characters and plot, this is just a bunch of random stuff. I appreciate your probably very young but before writing it's important to know what you are going to write about. Otherwise it's just a bunch of random unfinished stuff like this.
-- Will11 on 4/27/2016 10:39:21 PM with a score of 0
This is not a story! There is no choice in this except as to whether I want to let a bird into my room! Please make this longer! PLEASE!
-- TheBeginning on 4/27/2016 7:48:11 PM with a score of 0
No! No no no no no! This was not a story. I literally just woke up and got a phone call. That is not enough to be a complete story, let alone a part 1. Also if it is called " You chose" then why do I not have any choices that affect anything? 1/8 from me. Burn this before it burns my retinas permanently.
-- SonicTurboTurtle on 4/27/2016 7:43:28 PM with a score of 0
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