Player Comments on Z Day

Still rather incoherent. I have no idea who I am, or how I ended up in wherever the hell that compound was or why there's zombies or anything, really. It is much improved, but it needs some work. Your spelling and grammar isn't terrible but it's obvious that as you get excited, it slips a bit. Proofreading each page is what I'd advocate as a solution. Spend more time on Character Development because it was sorely lacking. I really didn't like the one page where it was either fake a heart attack or die. Terrible choice set there. Overall though, much better than before. Still wouldn't be half-decent if it wasn't your first game but pretty decent for a first attempt.

To improve this game, I think you should add more vivid description, perhaps increase the length, make the characters more interesting and worth reading about, as well as offer more choices.

Pointless Drivel

Uh... so what happens next after I go through the exit? This game is so short...

Good idea but the plot was poorly developed and I needed more.

Good job.

really? one ending, death

Invading the soviet union would really present a ton of logistical issues. This needs a good backstory. Nice try.

Short

Pretty short.

Yeah, what was with the text? I see potential, you should make it longer. I also suggest you go over it a couple more times to spell check.

Pertty darn good

What was up with the weird text?

"You wait for the rest of your life no one comes looking for you, you die in that hole."
seriously?

went through to read it again because I died, and it ended. You have potential so you should keep writing, and make the stories longer and more descriptive

Try not to shift from third to first person

"Sargent." Do you realize there's a spelling checker?

I've seen better stories from cactus plants.

It certainly should have choices at the end that don't automatically lead to death. The backstory was not explained, and there were a lot of grammatical errors.
Overall, I rate this 3/8

I played through and didn't find a ending where I live. other than that it was okay

The story seemed kinda rushed to me but I did like it but you did a good job for your first.

It was okay but it was also very short and the grammar was very bad. On top of that there were not many choices.

Actually not a bad storyline, But your grammar needs work, a lot of work.

4/8.

Are you telling me that the Rusians are making a zombie injection?

What a shitty game. Actually, not that bad. It just seemed random. 4/8.

can you win?

That ended very soon

boring

Didn't make much sense

Not horrible, but way to linear.

For a first story it is not half bad. i injoyed most of it. but You could of gave more iformation on the story

:/ were you going for the vague sci-fi genre? like an abductee with amnesia? If you did it on prupose then you have done well, but I just don't like the lack of infermation.

Needs lotta improvements! :)

Oh thats how you win... why didnt i get turned to ashes going through the air lock from the big box???

how do you win?

I'm going with 3J. You need to proofread and spice up your story a little bit. Have a background story, maybe some briefing for the main character, and don't be so vague about everything. Detail will make all the difference here. 3/8, but I'd be happy to change it later. :)

It´s kinda short but fun, I like your writing style and the fact that you have many different paths to follow, waiting for part 2 :)