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4 years ago

First United Church of Cthulhu

So, for the last week, one of my eclectic Wiccan friends has been trying to ordain me into the church of Cthulhu. It's not that I have any ideological problems with worshiping Cthulhu (even though this church seems to be more like a fan club; they don't have any sort of formal worship service or anything), so much that he doesn't seem to offer his followers anything except for psychological breakdown.

So, would any of you join the church of Cthulhu?

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4 years ago

I was surprised this was real. No thanks. ^_^

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4 years ago

With a name like Fucc.it, there's no doubt that this is just a joke.

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4 years ago

They are a legally recognized church. They can ordain people.

Edit: for the record "First Assembly of God" spells out F.A.G., but nobody seems to give a flying shit.

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4 years ago

I was just about to post that.

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4 years ago

Are you sure this isn't a joke?

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4 years ago

My friend has papers with the county clerk permitting him to perform weddings and other ceremonies in the name of Cthulhu. It's not a joke (well, not any more than any other religion).

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4 years ago

Wow. 

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4 years ago

You should also look into the Werewolf Cathedral (possibly defunct) and the Temple of the Vampire.

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4 years ago

Nah.

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4 years ago

Holy shit.

Sign me up.

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4 years ago

I love this. I'd love to join. I'm pretty sure this is the same shit as the Flying Spaghetti Monster's, though, where it's not really a "real" religion.

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4 years ago

Have fun wreaking havoc in the name of Cthulu! ^u^

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4 years ago

Actually, implying just because I worship the supreme and almighty Eldritch one is actually super offensive, just like assuming a Muslim must be a terrorist.

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4 years ago

Aye. My mistake. Please forgive me.

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4 years ago

No. I'm going to wreck some havoc on you and your family for that.

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4 years ago

I accept my fate.

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4 years ago

Shut up and take my money!

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4 years ago

... Seriously? >_>

No, of course I won't.

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4 years ago

I wouldn't join the church of Cthulhu (aka COC which is pretty funky sounding to me). Something created by a fellow human is not something worth worshiping to me. I do think that it's quite funny how a person could be married in the name of Cthulhu. The good ol' USA: rebellious, gun-loving, and Cthulhu worshiping... Explain to me how this nation was actually able to form a stable Republic? That's a rhetorical question. Don't answer it.

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4 years ago

Ah, yes, but how do you know that Cthulhu was created by H. P. Lovecraft and not simply revealed to him by divine prophecy?

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4 years ago

Well it would be better than being a Scientologist.

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4 years ago

Haha. True, Rev. Master. Have you considered adding a FUCC.IT ordination to your credentials?

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4 years ago

I prefer to honor the eldritch horrors in my own way rather than through an organized church.

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4 years ago

If the Cthulhu was revealed by divine prophesy, then I still would not worship it. A god who is lazy to the point where its only two miracles for which it takes credit is a really good fiction book and a really big pop-culture influence is not worth worshiping. 

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4 years ago

I understand; he needs at least two millenia of killings and oppression in his name to earn your praise.

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4 years ago

Heil Machinenkatze!!! Yes I just threw together some of the few German words I do know...

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4 years ago

LOL, and you like to accuse ME of trying to start shit on the forums.

Though come to think of it, it's pretty funny that Jesus was all about loving your neighbor and peace and forgiveness and compassion, and that produced shit like the Crusades and the Inquisition (though I guess that was all just another Tues night for medieval folks in general...) and meanwhile the followers of an eldritch horror have done...what exactly? Nothing newsworthy. Have they even started getting inbred or fucking fish people yet? Seems like everyone is pretty bad at this whole religion thing all around.

 

IIRC it's also possible to be ordained as a Jedi priest. Seems like the clear winner in this situation. You'll sense the great disturbance when Cthulhu starts to awaken, and then you can escape on your spaceship.

 

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4 years ago

Did you forget what kind people took power in the Church at the time?

Romans, or at least their descendants.

And Romans with power are a very, very bad thing...

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4 years ago

Hey, it hasn't been two millennia yet. Jesus supposedly did shit all until like his thirtieth birthday, so we have another fourteen years before he's been doing his thing for two millennia. 

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4 years ago

Why does Cthulhu get so much attention from nerds anyway? Isn't he like, one of the weakest of the whole menagerie, and how many stories was he even in?

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4 years ago

Seems like he's the supposed burgeoise to me 

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4 years ago

Simple snowball effect.

He had a RPG setting named after his story, so he got the most attention. In time, more corporate folks got the idea of “Hey let’s market the shit out this guy!” and so now he’s the most recognizable and is basically the face of the eldritch horrors. Even if it isn't directly Lovecraft related, squidface still pops up as an influence for something similar (Mass Effect Reapers, D&Ds Mind Flayers, etc)

Also, while he’s not the most powerful, he has somewhat of a recognizable form. Something like Azathoth or Yog-Soth are usually described as incomprehensible to the human eye (hence all the madness) and I suppose it would be a pain in the ass the draw those fuckers all the time especially when each artist would have their own idea of what it might look like.

But, yeah it was just a roll of the random cosmic dice (which seems appropriate given the mythos) that Cthulhu got all the credit. It could have easily been Dagon, Hastur or Chuzzlegoozlewog.