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The Shittest Story of all Time!

12 days ago

Summary:

If you would like to see my group thread where you can all give me advice on how to make the story shittier then click here.

But to summarize, there is a romance novel writing competition and I’m going to enter it… With the most God awful abomination of literature the world has ever seen!

First, the contest rules! There are two possible themes that the author can choose from for their story. Theme 1: Interracial love between dragons and other races. Theme 2: Girl Power Revenge! (I have opted for option 1, as I believe this theme gives me ample opportunity for maximum shittiness.) ^_^

And I have to say, I’ve actually found it really difficult to write as terribly as the guide expects. Some of the suggestions from the writing handbook include:

1. Total words in the first chapter should not exceed 1000.

2. Number of words in a paragraph should not be more than 50.

… These just weren’t possible for me. 50 words is like three lines! How the hell could I write a whole novella where the paragraphs are all less than three lines long? Not possible. And how much information can you possibly convey in a chapter that’s just 1000 words long? I fear my goal to write a story of record breaking shittiness was doomed to fail before it even began.

But anyway, here I shall be posting my shitty story as it progresses, and I would be grateful to you all if you could help provide me with any insight on how to make the story even shittier.

So, without further ado, I give you all…

The Shittest Story of all Time!

12 days ago

The Dragon’s Slave

Chapter 1: The Virgin Sacrifice

“Is this the girl?” the stranger asked, looking down at me, making me feel nervous and uncomfortable.

“Yes, this is Arabella,” my stepfather told the man, his hands on my shoulders holding me firmly in place. “She’s a good girl, sir. Strong and healthy and lovely manners. Pretty as a picture isn’t she?”

His words had me worried. My stepfather never complimented me. Usually he told me that I was ugly and worthless and forced me to wear tattered old rags. But today he had me dolled up in a pretty new dress, with lace and ruffles and flowers in my hair, just so that he could show me off to this strange man that I’d never seen before.

“And you’re sure she’s a virgin?” the mysterious man asked as he looked me up and down.

My stepfather seemed shocked by this question. “Sir, she’s only twelve!” he objected, sounding offended that the man would even ask.

“Good,” the stranger replied. “Make sure she stays that way.”

“What’s a virgin?” I asked innocently, but my stepfather gave me a sharp pinch on my arm, letting me know to keep quiet.

The strange gave me a curious look then. Cold and calculating. He had been looking at me the whole time, but it was only when I spoke up that he seemed to realize he was looking at a human being rather than an object. Out of nowhere, the man suddenly dropped to one knee so that his eyes were level with mine and grabbed me by the jaw, forcing me to look at him.

He was a handsome man. That was easy enough to see. Tall and muscular, with broad shoulders and a well defined jaw line. His hair was well groomed and black as the night sky, but at the time I barely noticed any of that. All I could focus on was his eyes. They were not like any eyes I had ever seen before. They were red. Deep, dark, blood red, like the eyes of a demon. Eyes that seemed to ensnare me, lock me in a trance and gaze into my very soul. As much as I wanted to, I could not look away.

His gaze seemed to last for an eternity, until finally he released my jaw, rose back to feet and turned to address my stepfather. “She’ll do,” is all he said.

“Thank you sir,” My stepfather said respectfully, taking his hand from my shoulder to hold it out greedily towards the man with the demon eyes.

The stranger reached into his pocket and pulled out a large, leather purse. “Consider this a down payment until the child comes of age,” he told my stepfather as he placed the purse in his hand. “Be sure she is well cared for until then. If she perishes or is otherwise damaged before the time comes, my master will not be pleased.”

“Yes, sir. I understand,” My stepfather said, bowing his head to the stranger as he quickly pocketed the money, with a broad smile on his face. No doubt he’d be heading straight to the local tavern this afternoon, and every last penny would be gone by the morning. “No need to fear, sir,” he assured the handsome man. “She’s a good girl, she is. She’ll be intact when the time comes.”

“I should certainly hope so, for your sake,” the stranger warned him, shooting me one last bewitching glance before turning and walking away.

As soon as the man was out of sight, I turned to my stepfather. “What just happened?” I asked curiously. “Who was that man, and what was all that money for?”

But a moment later I instantly regretted it as my stepfather gave me a sharp slap across the face for daring to question him. “Keep your mouth shut, girl! Haven’t I taught you yet to mind your own business? The money’s mine, you hear! I’ll do as I damn well please with it and that’s all you need to know! Now get to your chores before I beat you bloody!”

The old man didn’t have to tell me twice. I took off down the hill at a sprint, glad to get away from my stepfather and the creepy stranger with the demon eyes. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the meeting spot where I knew my best friend would be waiting for me.

“Arabella!” I heard her calling me from the berry bushes as soon as I arrived. I wasn’t sure why she sounded so surprised to see me. We met up at the same spot almost every day.

“Hi, Charlie!” I greeted my friend. Everyone in my village called her Charlie, even though it was a boy’s name and her real name was Charlotte. She was probably the biggest tomboy I’d ever met, and much tougher than any of the boys in our village, too. “Sorry I’m late, the old ogre kept me back to meet this really strange man,” I explained. (The old ogre is what I called my stepfather when he wasn’t around.)

“What are you wearing?” asked Charlie, completely shocked as she stared at me. Of course. I’d completely forgotten that I was still wearing the red, lacy dress my stepfather forced me to wear this morning.

“Oh yeah, I should have changed before I came here,” I realized. “The grumpy old ogre made me wear it when that weird man with the red eyes came to see me. I must look really silly.” I said with a smile.

“You look beautiful!” Charlie declared, her eyes wide, with a huge smile on her face. “I’ve never seen you in a dress before. How could your parents hide you away under those rags all this time? You look like a real life princess!”

I was shocked into silence for a moment by her words. No one had ever called me beautiful before. “Oh, don’t be silly Charlie,” I dismissed her compliments, blushing red with embarrassment. “It’s just the dress that’s pretty, not me. Anyway, we should get to work. Those berries aren’t going to pick themselves.”

Charlie and I both laughed as we got to work. Our families were so poor they could barely put food on the table (even those my stepfather always seemed to have enough money for alcohol) and so part of our chores was to collect as much food as we could find in the forest. And so all day, we gathered wild berries, roots, mushrooms and a few shrivelled up apples. At one point Charlie saw a rabbit, and was about to shoot it with her bow and arrows, but I snapped a twig and scared it away. It would have been good to have had some meat on the table, but I just couldn’t bare to see the poor little creature hurt.

After I filled up my basket with as much food as I could find, I decided to take a break from my chores and headed down to the lake to go swimming with Charlie and her brothers. The four of us had so much fun. We stripped down to our underwear, climbed to the top of the cliff and jumped into the water below! It was a hot summer day, and the water was so lovely and warm. We splashed each other and held contest of who could hold their breath the longest, and Charlie and I climbed onto her brothers shoulders and tried to push each other off. It was the best afternoon ever! Until the old ogre found me.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” my stepfather roared at me as he watched me from the side of the lake.

Oh no. I was in trouble now. “I’m sorry, stepfather. But I already gathered as much food as I could fit in the basket,” I told him, assuming that he was angry at me for going swimming instead of doing my chores. I was wrong.

With his face red with anger, he marched across the path towards the lake, knocking over my basket of food and spilling it to the ground, and stomping my beautiful red dress into the dirt. He then waded right through the lake, not caring about his own clothes getting wet, and grabbed hold of me by my hair, pulling it so hard that I screamed.

“Hey, let her go!” Charlie yelled, punching at my stepfather, trying to get him to release me. But her two older brothers stepped in to hold her back. They new better than to mess with the meanest, cruellest man in town.

My stepfather dragged me all the way home, yelling insults at me the whole way, until he kicked open the front door and threw me to the ground in front of my mother, still in my underwear and dripping wet from head to toe.

“Oh, sweet Jesus!” My mother screamed, clasping her hands over her mouth in shock when she saw me. “What happened?”

“Your little slut of a daughter was swimming half naked in the river! Throwing herself at a group of boys like a whore!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. Although I was too young to know what the words slut and whore meant, I knew that they were insults. And judging by how angry he was, I knew they must have meant something very bad.

“Is this true, Arabella?” My mother asked, looking absolutely horrified.

“I’m sorry, mother!” I cried, wiping tears from my eyes. I knew that she and my stepfather were very angry with me, but I just couldn’t understand what it was that I’d done wrong. “I was just swimming with Charlie and her brothers! I didn’t mean to do anything bad!”

“The hell you didn’t!” My stepfather yelled, kicking me hard in the stomach.

“No, don’t hurt her!” My mother gasped, dropping to the floor to comfort me. “It’s all right darling,” she said as she gently brushed my hair away from my face. “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but you need to listen to your father.” I gritted my teeth in anger when she used that word. The old ogre wasn’t my father. My father was dead. But I knew better than to say those thoughts out loud.

“You have to understand dear, you’re not a little girl any more,” my mother told me. “You’re much too old to be splashing around in the lake with boys. People are going to get the wrong idea.

“Not to mention she’ll be completely worthless if one of them ever puts his hands on her,” my stepfather added.

My mother glared at him for that comment, but was not brave enough to defend me. “It’s not so bad now, while you’re still just a child. But you’ll be a woman soon, and women need to be careful around young men. Especially you, dear.” At this point my mother suddenly looked extremely sad, and wiping tears from the corner of her eyes.

“You see, you won’t always be with us,” mother told me, crying. I didn’t understand why. “You’re going to have to leave some day, and when you do, it’s important that you’re still pure. That no boys have ever done anything inappropriate with you. And that’s why, I’m afraid, I think it’s best that you stay away from the boys in the village. You can play with Charlie, and the other girls, but I don’t want you playing with boys any more.”

“What?” I asked, horrified. This was the worst thing that mother could have told me. I wasn’t allowed to play with boys any more? Most of my friends were boys. In fact Charlie was my only friend who wasn’t a boy. I couldn’t stand the girls in my village. They were all blonde and pretty and they made fun of me because my clothes were always dirty. All they were interested in was boys and clothes and make up, when all I wanted to do was to read.

I had always loved reading, ever since I was little.I loved books so much that I could quite happily read all day. Every night I would stay up late and read books about love and romance and fantasy and adventure. In fact, the only thing I loved more than reading adventure stories was going on real adventures with Charlie and the boys. But I couldn’t go on adventures any more, because I wasn’t allowed to play with the boys ever again.

“You heard your mother!” my stepfather snapped at me. “And because of your disgusting behaviour today, you can go to your room without so much as a scrap of food to eat! And, I have another punishment for you!” he told me, grabbing hold of my arm and dragging me up the stairs.

Once I was in my room he threw me on the ground and locked the door behind him. “You might have your mother wrapped around your little finger, but I know what you really are,” he told me. “A no good, worthless, filthy little whore!” I still didn’t know what that word meant, but I could feel his hatred when he said it.

“If I don’t teach you a lesson, you’ll be pregnant by the time you’re thirteen. Well, that’s not going to happen on my watch.” All the time my stepfather was talking, I could see him taking off his belt. He then slapped the leather strap against his own hand, causing a loud crack that sent a shiver down my spine. “I’ll show you what happens to no good, dirty sluts in my house!”

The beating that followed was hell. He beat me with his belt over and over, absolutely covering me with welts and bruises from head to toe. When it was all finished, I just lay on the floor and cried for hours. I hated my life so much I wanted to die. My father was dead. My stepfather hated me. My mother didn’t care enough to protect me from him. I was forbidden to play with most of my friends ever again, and now my stepfather had beaten me so bad I would barely be able to move for days.

This was the worst day of my life. I thought my life couldn’t possibly get any worse than this. Little did I know, I was about to find out how wrong I was.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

12 days ago

Let me know what you guys think! I definitely think there's room for improvement in terms of overall shittiness, but right now I'm going for quantity over quality, so just spewing out as much crap as I can type in a day. Will look it over and make shitty edits later. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

You know, even though you were working with the shittiest tropes imaginable, and a protagonist who seems to have no personality outside of her stepfather being a complete douchebag, it seems like you were still subconsciously trying to make this into something actually good. Or maybe that's just due to the fact that my expectations for these sorts of stories are already ridiculously low, so when they are attempted by someone who's actually competent I wind up actually enjoying myself somewhat. When you're expecting terrible grammer and unreadable prose, anything easily legible feels like a relief. I also noticed you tried to go for the "plain girl with a perfect body who is somehow oblivious to her own attractiveness" trope for maximum conryness, but in this context, it actually seems to work. Any girl who's grown up in an abusive home with someone who forces her to wear rags and probably makes a lot of less-than-flattering comments about her appearance is bound to think less of herself, no matter how hawt and sexy she happens to be. The thing is, I don't really see a way you could possibly make this less logical without making the stepfather not evil anymore, thus dismanteling the entire plot thus far. If you were going to choose one shitty thing to accidentally make slightly good, I guess this one trope is minor enough that it doesn't make too big of a difference. 

Aside from that, everything else about this story is absolute trash so far, so good job...? I think "the old ogre" seems especially stupid and juvinile, definitly something a twelve year old girl would come up with to put in their twighlight fianfic, but not something she would call her own evil stepfather IRL. This is what makes it such a perfectly shitty addition to this story. I also love how the guy who's buying her seems like a literal deamon, because that's totally how all people who advocate for arranged marriages are in real life. All that to say that despite my complaints about this being too good, you've already made a delightfully terrible start. Now go make it worse.

Anyways, I imagine the hunk that inevitably sweeps her off her feet and rescues her is going to turn out to be some sort of weird wearwolf/vampire/lead-singer-in-a-popular-boy-band hybrid, or something equally stupid, so I'm looking forward to seeing that. 

Oh, and I know I complained about the grammer being too good, but to be perfectly honest, I don't think I could slog my way through something resembling 90 percent of the stories on Wattpad in that way, even if it's ment as a joke. Maybe it's better to leave that particular element as it is.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago
Yeah I was just going to say, this doesn't seem nearly shitty enough. Full of enough cliches that I'd suspect a parody (or someone's weird fetish) if reading without context, but the writing is far too competent.

Keep going though, and afterwards you can self publish it on Amazon.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

NOOOO! I have failed miserably. What can I do to make it shittier? (Besides deliberately throw in spelling and grammar errors. I still want the teenage girls and soccer moms to enjoy it.) ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago
You're so fucking bad at this, Briar. Now we're going to beat you with actual thorny briars and lock you in your room for a week with no food. It's the only way you'll learn.

Try not to get off to it, that would be weird.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

Isn't getting off to that sort of thing pretty much standard procedure for people who are unironically interested in stories like this? Wouldn't that just prove that she's acting in character?

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

You forgot the chains, woman! You've got to chain me to the wall before you beat me! Where the fuck is EndMaster? He's at expert at this shit. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago
Unless you're a mom I dont think hes interested.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago
The next time someone wants to collab, say yes and ask them to help write this story.

You know they'll be bad because they wanted to collab in the first place ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

OMG, YES!!! I could just give them the pointers of which mysthical creature the protag should be porking and watch them work the magic! ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

Yeah, I was surprised how much effort it actually takes to deliberately write crap. I had to go back over a lot of my paragraphs, dumbing down half the words and deleting anything that gave the characters any semblance of personality. I'm glad that my hard work paid off! ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

What if you started it off with the main character looking in the mirror and describing herself? That always annoys me in books. It's just so lazy. 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

I could do that in the next chapter. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago
Try getting really, really drunk before you begin.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

11 days ago

That could help! ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

The Dragon’s Slave

Chapter 1: The Virgin Sacrifice

"So, this is the girl, then?"  The stranger looked me up and down, and then down and up.  A little drool glistened at the corner of his mouth.  He wore a eyepatch and dirty trousers. 

The way he looked at me made me feel nervous and uncomfortable, but I also felt a funny feeling in me.  Not funny like laughing, or funny like when I ate too much, but funny strange.  Oh, I can't describe it.  It was just weird and funny.

“Yes, this is Arabella,” my stepfather said.  He was my stepfather on account of his having married my mother after my real father died after being in a fire.  What happened was he dropped a bucket of whale oil into the fireplace and some of the oil splashed on him and then the fire leaped out and burned him really bad.   

I screamed when I heard him scream.  Then my mother started screaming, and my father was screaming, not screaming like a woman screams, but lower, like a man screams when he is on fire.  The fire made his flesh sizzle, and it smelled like the roast beef we had had only the night before, the smell of which still lingered in the air.  The flames consumed him.

But he actually didn't die from it that night.  He lived, though he was grotesquely deformed afterwards, and then he actually died a week later after he fell off the roof while replacing a tile.  The kind of tiles that curve, the red ceramic kind.  So then my mother married again, and that's why he was my stepfather, this man who had his hand on my shoulder.

“She’s a good girl, sir. Strong and healthy and lovely manners. Pretty as a picture isn’t she?”  He slapped at my flanks a bit.  "Good stock.  Strong frame.  She'll do fine, she will,"

"What?" asked the man with the eyepatch.

"I said, 'She’s a good girl, sir. Strong and healthy and lovely manners. Pretty as a picture isn’t she?  Good stock.  Strong frame.  She'll do fine, she will.'"

"Ah, good.  I thought you said, 'song frame,' and I didn't know what that was."

"Ha, yes, no, I didn't say that."

As the two men bantered and dickered, I worried.  Why was he complimenting me?  Why did he have me wear a ball gown today of all days, when we had to muck out the field?  My good ball gown, the one that I bought with the money I had mysteriously found in the field, the field that was lying fallow in accordance with the best medieval farming practices.  I spent it on that ball gown.  It was pink and blue and had pleats and inverted pleats and a slit up both sides, and was a sort of A-frame dress with a pencil skirt.  It was made of tulle and gossamer and muslin.  I had flowers weaved and woven into my plaits and braids and I felt like a doll who had been dressed up in a dress to look good for this man who had the eyepatch whose name I didn't know yet.

So I was worried about that.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

It... It... It... It's BEAUTIFUL!!! Seriously, I think I cried a little tear of joy at the sheer and utter perfection that is Gower erotica. You should do this for a living. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

10 days ago

Chapter 2 is finished! And I'm proud to say, it's even shitter than the first one! ^_^

 

Chapter 2: Stolen as Treasure

It was the morning of my eighteenth birthday, and I stared at my face in the mirror. It was so hard to believe that I was an adult now. I certainly didn’t look any more grown up. My long, auburn hair fell about my shoulders in curly ringlets. My mother never taught me how to braid it and tie it back in intricate hair styles like all the beautiful women in my village.

I wished my face wasn’t so plain, but by my stepfather’s rule, I wasn’t allowed to wear make up. While all the pretty blonde girls my age covered their faces in powder to make themselves paler, I was naturally tanned from spending so much time slaving away out in the sun. And while the women of my village all painted their lips red, mine were soft and pink like little cherry blossoms.

The only pretty thing about me was my eyes. While most of the women in my village had brown eyes, mine were big and blue, dark like sapphires on the outside and then light like the sky in the middle, with just a touch of green, so that when you looked into my eyes, it was like you were looking out at the ocean. My eyelashes were naturally long and thick, so I didn’t have to paint them black like the other girls.

But sadly, even my beautiful eyes were not enough to distract from the old, boring clothes I had to wear. A torn up, baggy white blouse and a frayed pair of brown trousers. My eighteen birthday and I was dressed like a dirty street boy. No man would ever look at me twice, even if I was allowed to talk to them.

“Arabella!” I heard my mother call. “Arabella, come down stairs, my dear! We have something for you!” Something for me? I felt my heart leap at the thought. I hadn’t had a birthday present in years. Not since my father died. I ran down the stairs and was shocked when I saw my mother holding up the most beautiful, red silk dress I had ever seen.

“Is that… Is that really for me?” I gasped with tears of joy in my eyes.

“Your father bought it for you,” my mother told me. “You’re a woman now, and it’s time that you dressed like one.”

Now that really shocked me, and I turned to my stepfather, feeling extremely nervous. “Is this true?” I asked him timidly. I couldn’t believe he would get me a dress. Since the day at the lake when I was twelve, my stepfather hadn’t even allowed me to wear skirts any more, let alone dresses. He said they made me look like a whore, and I was just asking to be groped or worse.

“Of course it’s true!” he snapped, angrily. “It’s your birthday. Aren’t fathers supposed to get gifts for their daughters?” But he wasn’t my father, and he’d never given me a birthday present before. He said that we were too poor, and money shouldn’t be wasted on useless things like birthday gifts for me. (Even though he always seemed to have enough money to get drunk every night.)

Still, I just couldn’t contain my excitement. I threw my arms around my mother and lovingly kissed her cheek before running upstairs to get changed. Once the dress was on, I couldn’t believe the transformation. I still wouldn’t say I was beautiful, but for the first time in my life, I actually looked like a lady!

The dress was made of red silk, trimmed with gold lace. Unlike my other baggy clothes, the dress was actually my size, and hugged tight to my slender, hourglass figure, showing off my curves. The skirt of the dress was so long it reached the floor, flowing out in all directions. And the top of the dress was low cut, revealing the soft skin of my bare shoulders. A tight corset with gold ribbon pushed my DD cupped breasts together, making them look even larger than usual. As much as I loved the dress, I wished it wasn’t so tight. My breasts were clearly larger than the dress was made for and made it difficult for me to breathe.

Still, it wasn’t how tight the dress was that worried me. It was the old ogre, my stepfather. Even though he had brought the dress for me, I was afraid to let him see me wearing it. I knew exactly what he would say. He’d say I looked like a whore and that I was trying to seduce him by parading around with my breasts practically spilling out. Then he’d beat me until I was black and blue, rip off my beautiful dress and never let me wear it again. Still, it was my birthday gift, and he’d given it to me, so I had to wear it.

I was so afraid as I walked down the stairs. I shivered with fear and waited to hear my stepfather shout out in horror. But he didn’t.

“Oh, darling!” my mother gasped with joy, jumping to her feet. “You look absolutely beautiful! Doesn’t she look beautiful, dear?” she asked my stepfather.

My stepfather looked at me and glared with hatred in his eyes. I could actually see his fists clenched in anger. But instead of shouting, he turned away from me to look at the wall. “She looks fine,” he said reluctantly.

I was so relieved. My stepfather never usually held back his anger with me. Maybe, because it was my eighteenth birthday, he was finally trying to be kind to me for once. “Thank you so much for this wonderful gift,” I told them both, feeling that this must be the happiest day of my life.

“Yeah, well enjoy it while it lasts!” the old ogre snapped at me. “I’m sure you’ll love having all the boys stare at you and chase you around al day. But by tonight your fun and games will all be over!”

And there was all the anger he was holding back. I should’ve known this day was too good to be true. “What are you talking about?” I asked him in shock. But before he could answer, my mother jumped up from her chair and ran into the kitchen, crying her eyes out.

“Mother!” I called after her. “Mother, what’s wrong?”

“Never you mind!” My stepfather yelled, blocking the doorway to the kitchen so that I could not follow my mother to comfort her. “I told you to enjoy it while it lasts, so get out of here! Go on! Go out and flirt with every man you can find like the little cock tease you are! All you have to do is stay outside! Don’t come back, and whatever you do, don’t even think about taking off that dress!”

And with that, my father walked into the kitchen and started yelling at my mother. I wish I could have helped her, but I knew that going into the kitchen would only make things worse. So I did what my stepfather told me to do. I went out, to spend the rest of the day with the only friend I had.

“Hi Charlie!” I declared when she finally opened the door, looking up at her with the biggest smile in the world on my face. “Do you like my new dress?” I asked as I twirled around to show it off. “My stepfather bought it for me and then yelled at me when I wore it. I swear, the old ogre’s gone completely crazy.”

But Charlie wasn’t listening to me. She was staring at me with her eyes wide and her mouth open in awe. It was like she was in a trance. “Charlie?” I asked, slightly concerned. “Charlie, are you okay?”

“What?” Charlie asked, finally snapping back to reality. “Oh… Yes, I’m fine. It’s just you look…” she didn’t even finish her sentence. Just went back to staring at me again.

“Oh Charlie, don’t be so silly!” I teased her. “It’s only a dress. I’m still the same person. Now come on! It’s my birthday and I want to enjoy it with my best friend!” And so I grabbed Charlie’s hand and the two of us headed into town together.

It was wonderful! The two of us wondered around town for hours, looking through the market stalls and spending what little coin I had on sweets and cakes, and most importantly, books. I managed to find a cheap second hand book about a kind and gentle princess who was also, secretly, a champion knight. I couldn’t wait to get home and read it!

A group of travelling minstrels were passing through town and had set themselves up in the town square. Charlie and I applauded the beautiful singing, danced joyfully to the music and threw the few coins we had left into the guitar player’s hat.

At one point, while Charlie and I were singing along to a popular song, the lead singer of the group noticed my lovely voice and pulled me in to sing with the group. I sang three songs with them and everyone cheered, leaving me blushing with embarrassment. The band even offered me some of the coins they had earned that day, but I thanked them for their kindness and told them that they deserved it more than me.

I did get a lot of strange looks when the people of the village saw my new dress. The boys all stared at me, and some of them even wolf whistled. And the girls all glared at me angrily and whispered about me behind my back. But I didn’t care. I was having the most wonderful birthday of my life with my best friend in the whole world.

“Oh, Charlie, wasn’t that amazing?” I asked her as we sat down on a bench to eat the lemon cakes we had just bought. “The band all loved me, and one of them even said I had the most beautiful voice he’d ever heard in his life. The lead singer even asked if I could join the band and go travelling around the world. But of course, I had to refuse. I couldn’t leave my mother all alone with the old ogre. And of course, I could never leave you.”

“And I couldn’t let you go,” Charlie told me. “Not in a million years. If you wanted to join the band, then I’d come with you. I’d follow you to the ends of the world.”

“I know,” I told my best friend with a smile. “And I’d do the same for you.”

Charlie went quiet for a moment before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small package, tied up with red ribbon. “I saw this in the market earlier, while you were singing, and I had to buy it for you, to show you that I would always love you, no matter what.”

“What is it?” I asked as I slowly unwrapped the package. When I opened it, it revealed a beautiful golden necklace, with a charm in the shape of half of a broken heart. Charlie then held out another necklace that was exactly the same, only the broken heart was the other way round.

“You see, when you put the two pieces together, the heart is whole again,” Charlie explained as she held my half of the necklace neck to her own. “Because whenever I’m with you, my heart is always whole.”

“Oh, Charlie!” I gasped, throwing my arms lovingly around her. As soon as I let her go, she took my necklace and fastened it around my neck. “Thank you Charlie. It’s beautiful. I absolutely love it. You’re the best friend I ever had.”

“But is that all?” Charlie asked, suddenly looking very sad. “Haven’t you ever thought of me as more than your best friend?”

I hated seeing Charlie upset, but I didn’t understand what it was I’d done wrong. “Charlie, what do you mean?” I asked her. But Charlie never got to answer that question.

Out of nowhere, I heard a woman scream loudly. Then loads of people started yelling and running in all directions. And finally, a huge black monster came crashing down from the sky. The creature landed right in the middle of the town square, with a mighty roar that was so loud, it forced me to cover my ears. Then I looked at the beast, and was shocked and terrified to realize what it was. A dragon!

The dragon was enormous! Bigger than the trees of even the houses in the village. His black scales glistened in the sun and his powerful claws dug into the statue in the town square, completely destroying it. As it looked around the village, it let out another angry roar, sending all the people running away and screaming in fear.

Charlie was the only one who wasn’t afraid. She pulled out her bow and arrow and aimed it at the terrifying monster. “No! Don’t hurt it!” I cried as I jumped in front of her, holding out my arms and blocking her from shooting the dragon. I knew the beast was dangerous, but it was still just an innocent animal. I couldn’t let her hurt it.

It was at this point that the dragon suddenly fixed it’s gaze on me. As it looked down on me, I felt my body was frozen with fear. It’s gaze was hypnotic, like it was putting me in a paralysing trance as it stared at me with it’s great, red eyes.

Then, suddenly, the dragon attacked. Before I could even react, it flew towards me, diving on me and scooping me up in it’s great, black claws.

“Arabella!” Charlie cried out for me, chasing me as fast as her legs could carry her, jumping up and grabbing me by my wrist.

“Charlie!” I cried out in horror as the dragon flew higher and higher. “Don’t let go!”

But my friend just wasn’t strong enough. She clung to me with all her strength, but eventually her grip loosened and she went falling to the ground. The dragon was flying so fast, I couldn’t even see if she survived.

“Charlie!” I screamed as loud as I could, but it was too late. My best friend was gone. I was alone. In the claws of a dragon.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

10 days ago

Not gonna lie, I actually laughed out loud when she tried to save the dragon that was literally about to torch an entire town of innocent people. Also at the bit with the heart necklace. Those were my favorite shitty moments of this entire chapter. I'm sensing the beginnings of a love triangle between little Ms. Self-insert, Charlie, and the dragon. I'm also getting the feeling that you're about to mash together a whole slew of hackneyed tropes. There's the damsel captured by a dragon who needs to be saved by some sort noble hero, who in this case, will probably turn out to be Charlie. There's probably also going to be some sort of paranormal romance between what's-her-face and the dragon, who just so happens to be able to turn human. She's going to magically turn him into a perfect gentleman, taming his primal desires with the power of love. Lastly, since Charlie is a woman, we're probably going to get the totally new and original message that girls can be big and strong too. Assuming I'm right about all this, I'm having a little trouble figuring out if this combination of so many dumb tropes is too clever to be shitty. (I make a point to avoid stories like this, so I'm not sure how common that sort of thing is). Though, I guess if I actually was able to predict it accurately, that probably means it's still safely on the dumber end of the spectrum.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

10 days ago

Describing the heart necklace was probably my favourite derpy moment. I was thinking about how I would describe one of those broken heart necklaces, and then was like... Fuck it! "Her necklace was like mine, but the other way round." ... Derp! ^_^

Also, you locked on the epic plot twist straight away! "Oh my! A handsome knight has come to save me... But wait... IT'S A GIRL!!!" (Because I'm an edgy writer who breaks the rules of societal norms!) ^_^

... Actually you've just completely summarised the plot of the whole story. And here I was thinking that Charity Heartscape was so unpredictable. :p

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago
I don't think we're getting the girls can be big and strong message this time, this seems like it's going to be a more Anne McCaffrey kind of feminism.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

Third Chapter done. Not as shitty as the last one I'm afraid, but I think it sets up the gross, creepy tone of the story quite nicely. Any ideas how I can make it more shit/gross and creepy?

Chapter 3: My New Master

I screamed out loud as the dragon carried me away. I had never been so terrified in my life. It was flying so high that I could see forests and rivers and even mountains beneath me. I wanted nothing more than to escape, but I knew that if he dropped me, I would surely fall to my death. So, despite being completely terrified of the dragon, I clung to his claws and held on for dear life.

Finally, the dragon arrived at the opening of a huge cave and flew to the entrance, dropping me to the floor. I tried to crawl away from the beast, but was horrified to find that inside the cave, there were even more dragons. All larger and meaner looking than the dragon that had captured me. There were scarlet dragons and emerald dragons. Dragons in every color under the sun, and they all stared down at me as if I was the chef’s special on the menu.

Suddenly I heard a loud, rumbling noise like thunder, and the other dragons started to back away. It was then that the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my life moved forward, slowly lumbering towards me. It was another dragon, but unlike any of the others I had seen. This creature was a great, golden giant, far larger than any of the others. And as it moved towards me, it’s shadow was so immense that it blocked out every last shred of light in the cave.

Although the monster didn’t move it’s mouth, I could hear it speak clearly in my mind. “And what have you brought me today, my faithful son?” it seemed to ask the black dragon with amusement in it’s deep, husky voice. “It smells delicious. I’m sure it will make a wonderful snack.”

I was too afraid to even scream. As the fearsome creature moved closer towards me, I lay frozen on the ground, trembling in fear. But when the enormous dragon reared up on it’s hind legs and let out a bellowing roar, I knew I had to escape! I forced myself to get to my legs, turned and darted towards that cave’s entrance, running for my life.

But from the darkness, a strong hand reached out to grab me. The hand was not that of the black dragon though, it was a man, and he clung to my arms with both hands, strong and firm, refusing to let me go. “And just where do you think you’re going, little human?” the man asked. I looked up and was shocked to find that I recognized him. This was the same mysterious stranger that my stepfather introduced me to when I was twelve.

“Please,” I begged, with tears starting to sting my eyes. “Please, just let me go! Please, don’t let them eat me!”

A loud and cruel laugh ran out through the cave as the giant golden dragon looked down on me. “Don’t let us eat you?” he asked. “Ah, little human, do you not understand that you are in the presence of royalty? I am Thunder, king of all dragons. Any human should be honored to serve as a tasty morsel to ease my appetite.”

Tears ran freely down my eyes now. I couldn’t believe that I was about to die. Eaten alive by a dragon when I was only eighteen years old. But the man who was holding me only let out a frustrated sigh. “My father is toying with you,” he told me, sounding annoyed. “Our kind rarely eats such meager creatures as humans. Why, to a great, colossal creature like my father, a scrawny thing like you would barely serve as a tooth pick.”

“Oh, and why did you have to tell her that?” The great dragon asked irritably. “You have no sense of humor, my poor, stoic son. It is only natural for dragons to toy with our pets. And the girl’s squeals of fear are so very amusing.”

“To you, perhaps,” the man replies. “To me she sounds like a dying piglet.”

I was so afraid, but also so confused. What was this place? Why had the black dragon that had brought me here? And where had the black dragon gone? Who was this strange man I met all those years ago, and why was the golden dragon calling him his son?

Some of my questions were answered after the golden dragon let out a long and weary sigh. “Well, I suppose there’s no point keeping up the pretense. And a gentleman really shouldn’t toy with the emotions of such a sensitive young lady.” With this, the great, golden beast that was towering over me slowly began to fade, and a tall ma with long, golden hair, dressed in regal, kingly robes stood in his place. “There, I trust you find this form less intimidating, my dear?”

For a moment a stood in silence, unable to comprehend what I had just seen. “You… You’re the dragon?” I asked the man in shock.

At this, all of the surrounding dragons erupted into laughter. “Oh, she’s sharp, this one!” a large, turquoise dragon laughed, sarcastically.

“Good work Dracus, you’ve brought our father an imbecile,” joked a female dragon with scales red as fire. “Maybe he should eat her after all. She’s far too stupid to be a worthy servant of dragons.”

The dragon king held up a hand to silence the other dragons. “Now now children, don’t be cruel. If I recall correctly, all of your humans were pathetic trembling wrecks when they first arrived arrived.”

It was then that the golden haired king walked forward, gesturing for the dark haired man to release me. My captor, who I assumed must have been the black dragon in human form, took a step back so that his father could inspect me closer. The dragon king circled me, looking me up and down, as if I were a piece of meat he was judging. “You found a pretty one, Dracus,” he said admiringly, taking a lock of my hair in his fingers to feel it. “And such lovely, fiery hair. Wherever did you find her?”

“A little village just a few miles north,” Dracus replied. “Her father was a fool and a desperate drunkard. I got her at a very reasonable price.”

“My father?” I asked. I assumed he must have meant my stepfather. But the rest of what he said made no sense to me. “I don’t understand,” I timidly confessed.

“They didn’t tell you?” the dragon king asked, putting both hands tenderly on my bare shoulders and softly brushing my skin, sending a shiver running down my spine at his touch. “Well you see, my dear, my kind have been at odds with you humans for many generations. Of course, dragons are the natural rulers of the earth. The very top of what you call the food chain. We are so very used to getting our own way. For centuries we simply took whatever we wanted. After all, who would dare to stop us?

And yet, out of nowhere, we found ourselves with a most unlikely opponent. Not tigers or wolves or other fearsome beasts, but you, my dear,” he told me as he lightly brushed his finger down my neck. “Humans. Those soft and fragile creatures somehow worked up the nerve to fight back. Not with teeth and claws, but with swords and spears and arrows. And pathetic as a single human may be, we learned that an army of them was enough to bring even the mightiest of dragons down.

And so, we adapted,” he explained. “Rather than simply take what we wanted, the slaves and the cattle and the treasure, we learnt to barter for it. A village might rise up in arms to rescue a stolen maiden… But a maiden that is bought and paid for? What do they care for her?”

It was then that everything made sense. The horrible truth that I had refused to accept or understand. “He sold me?” I spoke aloud. My own stepfather had sold me. In truth, I wasn’t surprised. The man was a monster, and there was no evil he wasn’t capable of. But what hurt more than my heart could bare was that my mother had let him do it.

“There, you see, not so dim after all, are you?” The king of the dragons said, to which the other dragons all laughed in amusement. “You must forgive my children, girl. I’m afraid we cold blooded creatures have somewhat of a sadistic streak running through our veins. Come. I shall explain your situation away from prying ears.”

Taking hold of my arm, the golden haired man led me through the cave, away from his staring children, who snickered and mocked me as I passed. I didn’t care. I felt like I was in some kind of trance. I could barely believe what had happened to me. My family had sold me to the dragon king. I was a slave.

“I realize this must all be strange to you my dear, but I’m sure you will come around,” the dragon said as he lead me away through the dragons and into a chamber filled with people. “These are the slaves quarters. Not exactly luxury, but I’m sure they will suffice for a common village girl like you.”

He led me into a small cell that contained nothing more than a bed, a chest of draws and a bucket. I didn’t want to know what the bucket was for. The dragon king pushed me forward and a head a loud clang as the cell door closed behind me. I turned around to see that he was locking the door.

“I’ll give you some time to settle, shall I?” he suggested as the tears ran down my eyes. “Ah, no need to despair so, my dear. Despite my earlier little jokes, I believe you will find me to be a fair master. I do dote upon my favorite pets, and I assure you that hard work and loyalty are always well rewarded.”

But suddenly, the dragon king’s gentle tone shifted and he clenched at the bars of my cell, fixing me was a cold, cruel glare. “But I warn you, little human, disloyalty will not be tolerated. Try to escape, or displease me in any way, and your suffering will be worse than any pain you have ever imagined. You will die, in unbelievable agony, and then your family will be hunted down and they will die as well. Remember my warning, my pet. Be faithful, strive to please me, and you have nothing to fear.” And with those ominous words, my new master turned and walked away.

And so I was left alone, in the silence. A few of the other slaves stared at me but none of them said anything. I collapsed on the bed and wept for hours. How could they do this to me? How could my mother let my stepfather sell me? Why didn’t she stop him? Now I would never see my mother again. I would never see Charlie again. I was completely alone.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago
Now I'm the last one to tell someone else how to spend their time, but just look at allllllllll these words, and then imagine they'd been added to a good story that wasn't about your latent dragon BDSM fetish.......

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

I am hoping that this weird little dragon BDSM fetish porn project will smash an epic wall through my writer's block. I mean, if I can pump out 2000 words of this complete crap a day for a month straight, then surely I can manage a couple of paragraphs of POF 2 a day until it finally gets done. ^_^

(Also the creepy dragon BDSM contest has a top prize of $1500, which doesn't sound bad for 20 days of vomiting out some literary garbage.) :p

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago
A lot depends on my being able to convince myself you made that contest up, please don't ruin this fragile shell that guards my brain.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago
Auuugh.

Deleted the link though because the first story I clicked was straight up werewolf porn, and you're corrupting AL enough as it is.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

Probably for the best. (And as I continue, I promise to emit any scenes in the story that involve throbbing manhoods and inner Goddesses.) :p

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago
@thedragon has arrived, now you've done it.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

Ow nos! P-P-Pwease don't huwt me master! owo

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago
You just have to phrase it with a little finesse.

"All of a sudden his pulsating crimson serpent sprang from its reptilian hidey hole like like a Jack-in-the-Box that had been wound too tight, a thin glutinous coating shining in the starlight, like the moist skin of a frog. Arabella gasped and couldn't tear her enchanting sapphire spheres away as it became turgid and bloated, as though entering rigor mortis, before plowing through the overgrown heather of her stench garden and plunging deep into the swamplands."

See? You just need to be subtle. Classy. Sexy.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

Permission to use that entire quote word for word? ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago
Granted!

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

Hurray!!!! ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago
Abrupt POV change included.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

When do we get to the part where he tells her she's not like the other girls? (Because they're not the Mary Sue protagonist...)

That's always my favorite. 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

Oh, it's coming. Only in this case it'll be, "not like other humans." :p

The Shittest Story of all Time!

yesterday

Note: Editted the chapter so that the protagonist is too stupid to figure out that Dracus is a dragon, so that I can throw in a whole species reveal mystery trope.

Chapter 3: My New Master

I screamed out loud as the dragon carried me away. I had never been so terrified in my life. It was flying so high that I could see forests and rivers and even mountains beneath me. I wanted nothing more than to escape, but I knew that if he dropped me, I would surely fall to my death. So, despite being completely terrified of the dragon, I clung to his claws and held on for dear life.

Finally, the dragon arrived at the opening of a huge cave and flew to the entrance, dropping me to the floor. I tried to crawl away from the beast, but was horrified to find that inside the cave, there were even more dragons. All larger and meaner looking than the dragon that had captured me. There were scarlet dragons and emerald dragons. Dragons in every color under the sun, and they all stared down at me as if I was the chef’s special on the menu.

Suddenly I heard a loud, rumbling noise like thunder, and the other dragons started to back away. It was then that the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my life moved forward, slowly lumbering towards me. It was another dragon, but unlike any of the others I had seen. This creature was a great, golden giant, far larger than any of the others. And as it moved towards me, it’s shadow was so immense that it blocked out every last shred of light in the cave.

Although the monster didn’t move it’s mouth, I could hear it speak clearly in my mind. “And what have you brought me today, my faithful son?” it seemed to ask the black dragon with amusement in it’s deep, husky voice. “It smells delicious. I’m sure it will make a wonderful snack.”

I was too afraid to even scream. As the fearsome creature moved closer towards me, I lay frozen on the ground, trembling in fear. But when the enormous dragon reared up on it’s hind legs and let out a bellowing roar, I knew I had to escape! I forced myself to get to my legs, turned and darted towards that cave’s entrance, running for my life.

But from the darkness, a strong hand reached out to grab me. The hand was not that of the black dragon though, it was a man, and he clung to my arms with both hands, strong and firm, refusing to let me go. “And just where do you think you’re going, girl?” the man asked. I looked up and was shocked to find that I recognised him. This was the same mysterious stranger that my stepfather introduced me to when I was twelve.

“Please,” I begged, with tears starting to sting my eyes. “Please, just let me go! Please, don’t let them eat me!”

A loud and cruel laugh ran out through the cave as the giant golden dragon looked down on me. “Don’t let us eat you?” he asked. “Ah, little human, do you not understand that you are in the presence of royalty? I am Thunder, King of all dragons. The oldest, wisest and most powerful dragon alive on earth. Any human should be honored to serve as a tasty morsel to ease my appetite.”

Tears ran freely down my eyes now. I couldn’t believe that I was about to die. Eaten alive by a dragon when I was only eighteen years old. But the man who was holding me only let out a frustrated sigh. “The king is toying with you,” he told me, sounding annoyed. “Dragons rarely eats such meager creatures as humans. Why, to a great, colossal creature like King Thunder, a scrawny thing like you would barely serve as a tooth pick.”

“Oh, and why did you have to tell her that?” The great dragon asked irritably. “You have no sense of humor, my poor, stoic boy. It is only natural for dragons to toy with our pets. And the girl’s squeals of fear are so very amusing.”

“To you, perhaps,” the man replied. “To me she sounds like a dying piglet.”

The giant dragon let out a long and weary sigh. “Well, I suppose there’s no point keeping up the pretence. And a gentleman really shouldn’t toy with the emotions of such a sensitive young lady.” With this, the great, golden beast that was towering over me slowly began to fade, and a tall man with long, golden hair, dressed in regal, kingly robes stood in his place. “There, I trust you find this form less intimidating, my dear?”

For a moment a stood in silence, unable to comprehend what I had just seen. “You… You’re the dragon?” I asked the man in shock.

At this, all of the surrounding dragons erupted into laughter. “Oh, she’s sharp, this one!” a large, turquoise dragon laughed, sarcastically.

“Good work Dracus, you’ve brought our father an imbecile,” joked a female dragon with scales red as fire. “Maybe he should eat her after all. She’s far too stupid to be a worthy servant of dragons.”

The dragon king held up a hand to silence the other dragons. “Now now children, don’t be cruel. If I recall correctly, all of your humans were pathetic trembling wrecks when they first arrived.”

It was then that the golden haired king walked forward, gesturing for the dark haired man to release me. My captor took a step back so that the King Thunder could inspect me closer. The Dragon King circled me, looking me up and down, as if I were a piece of meat he was judging. “You found a pretty one, Dracus,” he said admiringly, taking a lock of my hair in his fingers to feel it. “And such lovely, fiery hair. Wherever did you find her?”

“A little village just a few miles north,” Dracus replied. “Her father was a fool and a desperate drunkard. I got her at a very reasonable price.”

“My father?” I asked. I assumed he must have meant my stepfather. But the rest of what he said made no sense to me. “I don’t understand,” I timidly confessed.

“They didn’t tell you?” the Dragon King asked, putting both hands tenderly on my bare shoulders and softly brushing my skin, sending a shiver running down my spine at his touch. “Well you see, my dear, my kind have been at odds with you humans for many generations. Of course, dragons are the natural rulers of the earth. The very top of what you call the food chain. We are so very used to getting our own way. For centuries we simply took whatever we wanted. After all, who would dare to stop us?

And yet, out of nowhere, we found ourselves with a most unlikely opponent. Not tigers or wolves or other fearsome beasts, but you, my dear,” he told me as he lightly brushed his finger down my neck. “Humans. Those soft and fragile creatures somehow worked up the nerve to fight back. Not with teeth and claws, but with swords and spears and arrows. And pathetic as a single human may be, we learned that an army of them was enough to bring even the mightiest of dragons down.

And so, we adapted,” he explained. “Rather than simply take what we wanted, the slaves and the cattle and the treasure, we learnt to barter for it. We learnt the humans language, and how to take on our human forms, and we traded with them. A village might rise up in arms to rescue a stolen maiden… But a maiden that is bought and paid for? What do they care for her?”

It was then that everything made sense. The horrible truth that I had refused to accept or understand. “He sold me?” I spoke aloud. My own stepfather had sold me. In truth, I wasn’t surprised. The man was a monster, and there was no evil he wasn’t capable of. But what hurt more than my heart could bare was that my mother had let him do it.

“There, you see, not so dim after all, are you?” The king of the dragons said, to which the other dragons all laughed in amusement. “You must forgive my children, girl. I’m afraid we cold blooded creatures have somewhat of a sadistic streak running through our veins. Come. I shall explain your situation away from prying ears.”

Taking hold of my arm, King Thunder led me through the cave, away from his staring children, who snickered and mocked me as I passed. I didn’t care. I felt like I was in some kind of trance. I could barely believe what had happened to me. My family had sold me to the Dragon King. I was a slave.

“I realize this must all be strange to you my dear, but I’m sure you will come around,” the king said as he lead me away from the dragons and into a chamber filled with people. “These are the slave’s quarters. Not exactly luxury, but I’m sure they will suffice for a common village girl like you.”

He led me into a small cell that contained nothing more than a bed, a chest of draws and a bucket. I didn’t want to know what the bucket was for. The Dragon King pushed me forward and I heard a loud clang as the cell door closed behind me. I turned around to see that he was locking the door.

“I’ll give you some time to settle, shall I?” he suggested as the tears ran down my eyes. “Ah, no need to despair so, my dear. Despite my earlier little jokes, I believe you will find me to be a fair master. I do dote upon my favorite pets, and I assure you that hard work and loyalty are always well rewarded.”

But suddenly, the Dragon King’s gentle tone shifted and he clenched at the bars of my cell, fixing me was a cold, cruel glare. “But I warn you, little human, disloyalty will not be tolerated. Try to escape, or displease me in any way, and your suffering will be worse than any pain you have ever imagined. You will die, in unbelievable agony, and then your family will be hunted down and they will die as well. Remember my warning, my pet. Be faithful, strive to please me, and you have nothing to fear.” And with those ominous words, my new master turned and walked away.

And so I was left alone, in the silence. A few of the other slaves stared at me but none of them said anything. I collapsed on the bed and wept for hours. How could they do this to me? How could my mother let my stepfather sell me? Why didn’t she stop him? Now I would never see my mother again. I would never see Charlie again. I was completely alone.

Still, despite my sorrow and fear, my mind was also racing with confusion. How did the black dragon know who I was? How did he know where to find me? Where had the black dragon disappeared to? And who was the strange man that I’d met all those years ago? There was a mystery to be solved here, and I promised myself I was going to solve it.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

So it turns out that this is 6699 words long as of chapter 3, if you include the titles. Give or take a couple words, in case I didn't copy them over in the word counter. Not that they make much difference.

I didn't know you'd put this much effort into something, but while you've still got creative juices flowing, I highly recommend channeling these efforts into something people want to read instead.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

9 days ago

You mean you DON'T want to read my dragon/billionaire/lesbian/BDSM/beastiality/fantasy porn? :'(

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

God writing terrible stuff is surprisingly liberating... I mean, I can't even to proof read it, I just post it as it is and if there are any spelling and grammar mistakes... Fuck it! It's still better than half the stuff on the creepy werewolf porn website. ^_^

So, here's chapter 4! I think I managed to get back on track with the shittiness. My favourite shitty moments were, mentioning a bunch of makeup products that weren't invented back then, constantly mentioning that the dragons are all in their human forms (because the author assumes the reader is too stupid to remember) and conveniently having the protagonist forget that the black dragon kidnapped her and took her away from all her friends and family and act as if he's the nicest guy in the world the moment he does something even slightly not assholey. (Also managed to sneak a post from R/creepyasterisks in there.) ^_^

 

Chapter 4: A Submissive Slave

I awoke to someone shaking me roughly. “Get up you lazy girl!” The woman snapped me. She was a young woman, just a few years older than me, with long golden hair tied up in a fashionable French braid. She was absolutely beautiful, dressed in purple velvet that looked fit to be worn by a queen. “The sun rose more than an hour ago. You’ll have to be up with the sun to get your chores done on time. The dragon king is not a patient man!”

I rolled over and rubbed at my eyes sleepily. I didn’t realize how late it was. I must have been exhausted because I was crying all night long. The woman must’ve noticed this, because she gasped out in horror. “Oh heavens above girl, your eyes are bright red! What in the world were you crying for? You’re a servant of King Thunder now, and the King expects his slaves to look the part. Come on!”

“Where are we going?” I asked the woman, but she didn’t answer. She just took me by the arm and dragged me into a lushly decorated room filled with beautiful women. I had never seen anything like them before. They were far more beautiful than any of the girls in my village. All kinds of women. Blondes and brunettes and red heads, all dressed in the finest silks and satins that money could buy. They looked like princesses. But I soon realized that they were not. These were the dragon king’s slaves. And now I was one of them. I could barely get my head around it. These women were the embodiment of perfection, and I was just, plain, tomboyish Arabella. There was no way I would ever be able to fit in with them.

“Sit down!” the blonde woman ordered me, and started applying make up to my face. “Keep still. I need to cover the red around your eyes and make you presentable for his majesty.” Honestly, I didn’t think there was much point. I doubted that any amount of make up in the world could ever make me beautiful, but was shocked when the woman finished applying make up and held up a mirror for me.

The transformation was incredible. She had completely covered the red around my eyes and you couldn’t tell that I had been crying at all. But she had done more than that. My skin was completely flawless, with red blush to accentuate my high cheek bones. My eyes looked even bigger than usual, with gorgeous smokey eye shadow that was light in the inner corners and then got gradually darker as it reached the edge. I also had a thick, volumizing mascara to accentuate my long eyelashes, and my lips were painted a deep, dark red. I smiled as I looked at myself in the mirror. “My stepfather would throw a fit if he saw my like this.” I thought to myself happily.

“Now, put this on,” the blonde woman said as she threw a glittery gold dress at me. I was embarrassed getting changed in front of all of the other women, but a lot of them were changing too, half naked or in their underwear, and nobody seemed to mind, so I did it anyway. The dress was gorgeous but far more revealing than something I would usually wear. I felt practically naked wearing it. It was extremely low cut, showing off my cleavage and there was a slit at the side of the shirt which showed off my long, slender legs.

“Are you sure this is all right?” I asked the blonde haired woman, but she just looked at me like I was an idiot.

“All right? Girl, look around you, all of the king’s slaves dress this way,” she told me, as as my eyes roamed the room I realized that this was true. All of the women were wearing clothes that were just as revealing as mine, or even more revealing. “It’s what you’ll be expected to wear now, so get used to it.”

It was a big shock to the system that I would be expected to wear clothes like this. All my life I had been told by my stepfather to keep myself covered up, so that no boys would ever take interest in me. Now I was expected to wear clothes that made me look like a prostitute. It made me feel very embarrassed and uncomfortable. I was actually starting to miss my old, dirty rags.

“Now, come with me to the kitchens,” the blonde woman instructed me. “The master has requested that you serve him breakfast this morning. I suggest you do not displease him.”

“Yes, I understand. I’ll do my best,” I told the lady, nervously. At least serving breakfast was something I could do. My stepfather had forced me to make breakfast for him ever since I was a child, so I had plenty of experience. “Sorry, but can I ask, what’s your name?”

“Jezebel,” the woman replied, though she didn’t sound too friendly when she said it. “I already know yours. Arabella. Sounds like the name of a common country girl to me. Not worthy to be serving a king.”

“I am a country girl,” I admitted, not ashamed of that fact. “I know I’m just a commoner, and not a lady like you, but I can’t change where I was born. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Jezebel scowled at me, as if she were disgusted by the very thought of the idea. “Friends? With you? Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t be friends with a girl like you in a million years, and not just because you’re a filthy commoner. Here in the dragon’s kingdom, we only exist to serve the dragons. I serve the dragon king himself, the most powerful dragon in the entire world. I must focus all of my attention on him. I don’t have time to be making friends with worthless slave girls like you.”

I hung my head low in disappointment as I followed her. It looked like I could forget the idea of ever finding a friend in a place like this.

I was surprised when I took the king his breakfast tray. It had sausages, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, beans and fried bread, the kind of food you would expect a human to eat, not a dragon. Still, I kept my head down and didn’t asked any questions while I served him. “Good morning your majesty,” I greeted the king politely as I entered his dining room. “I’ve brought you your breakfast,” I told him as I set tray down in front of him. The dragon king was in his human form and sitting in a beautiful golden throne. A large group of people sat around the table. They looked like humans, but I recognised one of them as Dracus, the man who had given me as a gift to the dragon king. These people must all be the dragon king’s children in their human forms.

“Good morning, my pet,” the dragon king greeted me affectionately. “I see you are looking ravishing this morning. Slavery seems to suit you well.”

I was too nervous and embarrassed to say anything, so I kept my head down and stayed silent as I poured the king his brandy.

“You are wondering why we eat as humans do,” the king said aloud and I was shocked that he knew what I was thinking. It was like he could read my mind. “Of course, you realize that such a humble meal as this could never satisfy the hunger of a dragon, especially one as immense and magnificent as I. We need large beasts like cows and horses and even elephants to keep our bellies full. Still, the concept of eating for enjoyment is something I have come to admire about you humans.

Most animals only eat out of necessity,” he explained. “Sheep do not delight in eating grass all day, nor do birds relish the taste of dirt covered worms. But humans, you have developed the art of turning simple, primal needs like eating and bathing and mating into acts of pleasure. It is a skill I like to think I have perfected over my many years.”

“I see,” I said with a smile. I suppose it was good to know that the dragon king respected humans. It made me feel more comfortable around him. “Do you have a favourite food, your majesty? I can be sure to make it for you.”

“My favourite snack?” He asked, looking at me with seductive eyes, with a glass of brandy in hand. “It’s you, my dear,” he replied, sipping brandy as noisily as possible, maintaining eye contact.

His reply took me off guard, and made me so surprised and nervous that I actually dropped the bottle of brandy that I was serving him. The room full of dragons in human form all erupted into laughter at my clumsiness.

“I’m so sorry!” I gasped, grabbing a dish towel and dropping to my knees to try and clean up the mess I had made. I couldn’t believe I had just broken a bottle of the dragon king’s favourite brandy. I would be brutally punished for sure!

“Oh, no need for apologies my dear, everyone makes mistakes,” the king said kindly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps the king wasn’t going to be a cruel master after all. He was certainly a lot nicer to me than my stepfather ever was. “Now, stop laughing children,” he told the other dragons. “Do not tease the poor girl, it is her first day, after all. I expect you all to be kind to my new pet.” After he told them this, the dragon king finished his breakfast and left the room.

But the other dragons were not kind to me, and started mocking me as soon as he left the room. “I can’t believe you destroyed that bottle of brandy. It was worth ten times more then you were!” A female dragon with blue hair yelled at me. “You should lick it up off the floor. It’s the only way you’ll ever be able to taste anything so expensive.”

“Yeah, make her lick it up!” Yelled one of the male dragons with dark red hair. “She made the mess, she should clean it up with her tongue!”

“Please don’t make me,” I begged all of the dragons in their human forms. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Well you found trouble!” A tall, beautiful woman with long silver hair yelled at me, and she stood on the back on my neck, pinning me down. “Go on, slave! Lick the floor until it sparkles!”

“Let her go!” I heard one of the male dragons yell, and when he walked forward, I could see that it was Dracus, the dragon king’s son. The one who had kidnapped me.

The female dragon who was standing on my neck growled at him. “Come to defend the gift you gave to father?” she asked him. “If you like her so much why didn’t you just keep her yourself? You could use a slave of your own.”

“I have no need for worthless humans!” Dracus yelled angrily. “But making her lick the brandy off the floor would be stupid. A mop and bucket would do the job much better. Now get your foot off her neck before I tell father how you’ve been rough-handling his new toy.”

The silver haired dragon woman glared at Dracus finally took her foot off of me. “Fine, if she’s so important to you. I never thought I’d see you caring so much about a human,” she mocked him.

“I’m not!” Dracus growled, but the other dragons were already walking away, apparently bored of the situation now that Dracus had spoiled their fun.

“Th-thank you,” I told him timidly before I went back to wiping up the brandy. “I’m so sorry about the mess I made, I’ll clean it up straight away… Ouch!” I squealed out loud as I cut my finger on a piece of glass.

“What happened?” Dracus asked as he approached me.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just cut my finger that’s all,” I replied as I held my finger in my other hand, trying to stop the bleeding. The cut was actually very deep, and hurt a lot more than I was letting on, but I tried my best to be brave and not let the pain show in my eyes. “It’s my own fault. I can be so clumsy sometimes.”

“Hold still,” Dracus told me as he got down on his knees and took my hand in his. “I have healing powers. I inherited them from my mother.” As he looked down at the cut, he put his own hand over it, and rubbed it softly and tenderly. When he took his hand away, the cut was miraculously healed.

“It’s gone,” I gasped with amazement, and smiled as I looked into Dracus’s black, gentle eyes. “Thank you,” I told him shyly. “It was so kind of you to heal me like that.”

Immediately Dracus snatched his hand away from mine. “Hmph!” he snarled at me. “I wasn’t being kind. Evil humans like you don’t deserve kindness! I only healed you so you wouldn’t get blood all over the floor!”

“But I’m not evil!” I objected, but Dracus wasn’t listening. He stormed away in anger, not looking back.

“What was that about?” I asked Jezebel, the blonde slave who was helping me serve breakfast. “Why does Dracus hate humans so much.

“Shh!” Jezebel snapped at me. “We don’t speak of that. Don’t ever ask that question again.” And then she left me to clear up the mess without giving me an answer.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago
This is so fucking cringe. Congrats?

Good job getting the brandy line in there.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

8 days ago

Thank you! I do my best. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

yesterday

Also eddited Chapter 4 for the "I'm too stupid to realize the guy names "Dracus" is a dragon plot line. (Miz, don't suppose you could just swap the original posts with the updated ones, would make the chapters much easier to keep track of. ^_^

Chapter 4: A Submissive Slave

I awoke to someone shaking me roughly. “Get up you lazy girl!” The woman snapped me. She was a young woman, just a few years older than me, with long golden hair tied up in a fashionable French braid. She was absolutely beautiful, dressed in purple velvet that looked fit to be worn by a queen. “The sun rose more than an hour ago. You’ll have to be up with the sun to get your chores done on time. The Dragon King is not a patient man!”

I rolled over and rubbed at my eyes sleepily. I didn’t realize how late it was. I must have been exhausted because I was crying all night long. The woman must’ve noticed this, because she gasped out in horror. “Oh heavens above girl, your eyes are bright red! What in the world were you crying for? You’re a servant of King Thunder now, and the King expects his slaves to look the part. Come on!”

“Where are we going?” I asked the woman, but she didn’t answer. She just took me by the arm and dragged me into a lushly decorated room filled with beautiful women. I had never seen anything like them before. They were far more beautiful than any of the girls in my village. All kinds of women. Blondes and brunettes and red heads, all dressed in the finest silks and satins that money could buy. They looked like princesses. But I soon realized that they were not. These were the Dragon King’s slaves. And now I was one of them. I could barely get my head around it. These women were the embodiment of perfection, and I was just, plain, tomboyish Arabella. There was no way I would ever be able to fit in with them.

“Sit down!” the blonde woman ordered me, and started applying make up to my face. “Keep still. I need to cover the red around your eyes and make you presentable for his majesty.” Honestly, I didn’t think there was much point. I doubted that any amount of make up in the world could ever make me beautiful, but was shocked when the woman finished applying make up and held up a mirror for me.

The transformation was incredible. She had completely covered the red around my eyes and you couldn’t tell that I had been crying at all. But she had done more than that. My skin was completely flawless, with red blush to accentuate my high cheek bones. My eyes looked even bigger than usual, with gorgeous smokey eye shadow that was light in the inner corners and then got gradually darker as it reached the edge. I also had a thick, volumizing mascara to accentuate my long eyelashes, and my lips were painted a deep, dark red. I smiled as I looked at myself in the mirror. “My stepfather would throw a fit if he saw my like this.” I thought to myself happily.

“Now, put this on,” the blonde woman said as she threw a glittery gold dress at me. I was embarrassed getting changed in front of all of the other women, but a lot of them were changing too, half naked or in their underwear, and nobody seemed to mind, so I did it anyway. The dress was gorgeous but far more revealing than something I would usually wear. I felt practically naked wearing it. It was extremely low cut, showing off my cleavage and there was a slit at the side of the skirt which showed off my long, slender legs.

“Are you sure this is all right?” I asked the blonde haired woman, but she just looked at me like I was an idiot.

“All right? Girl, look around you, all of the king’s slaves dress this way,” she told me, as as my eyes roamed the room I realized that this was true. All of the women were wearing clothes that were just as revealing as mine, or even more revealing. “It’s what you’ll be expected to wear now, so get used to it.”

It was a big shock to the system that I would be expected to wear clothes like this. All my life I had been told by my stepfather to keep myself covered up, so that no boys would ever take interest in me. Now I was expected to wear clothes that made me look like a prostitute. It made me feel very embarrassed and uncomfortable. I was actually starting to miss my old, dirty rags.

“Now, come with me to the kitchens,” the blonde woman instructed me. “The master has requested that you serve him breakfast this morning. I suggest you do not displease him.”

“Yes, I understand. I’ll do my best,” I told the lady, nervously. At least serving breakfast was something I could do. My stepfather had forced me to make breakfast for him ever since I was a child, so I had plenty of experience. “Sorry, but can I ask, what’s your name?”

“Jezebel,” the woman replied, though she didn’t sound too friendly when she said it. “I already know yours. Arabella. Sounds like the name of a common country girl to me. Not worthy to be serving a king.”

“I am a country girl,” I admitted, not ashamed of that fact. “I know I’m just a commoner, and not a lady like you, but I can’t change where I was born. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Jezebel scowled at me, as if she were disgusted by the very thought of the idea. “Friends? With you? Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t be friends with a girl like you in a million years, and not just because you’re a filthy commoner. Here in the dragon’s kingdom, we only exist to serve the dragons. I serve the Dragon King himself, the most powerful dragon in the entire world. I must focus all of my attention on him. I don’t have time to be making friends with worthless slave girls like you.”

I hung my head low in disappointment as I followed her. It looked like I could forget the idea of ever finding a friend in a place like this.

I was surprised when I took the king his breakfast tray. It had sausages, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, beans and fried bread, the kind of food you would expect a human to eat, not a dragon. Still, I kept my head down and didn’t asked any questions while I served him. “Good morning your majesty,” I greeted the king politely as I entered his dining room. “I’ve brought you your breakfast,” I told him as I set tray down in front of him.

The Dragon King was in his human form and sitting in a beautiful golden throne. A large group of people sat around the table. It was strange. They all looked like humans, but a lot of them had very strange hair colors. Some of them had blue hair or green hair or red hair. Not natural ginger red, but dark red, almost like a ruby. I wondered who all of these people were and why they were important enough to eat at the Dragon King’s table.

“Good morning, my pet,” the Dragon King greeted me affectionately. “I see you are looking ravishing this morning. Slavery seems to suit you well.”

I was too nervous and embarrassed to say anything, so I kept my head down and stayed silent as I poured the king his brandy.

“You are wondering why I eat as humans do,” the king said aloud and I was shocked that he knew what I was thinking. It was like he could read my mind. “Of course, you realize that such a humble meal as this could never satisfy the hunger of a dragon, especially one as immense and magnificent as myself. We need large beasts like cows and horses and even elephants to keep our bellies full. Still, the concept of eating for enjoyment is something I have come to admire about you humans.

Most animals only eat out of necessity,” he explained. “Sheep do not delight in eating grass all day, nor do birds relish the taste of dirt covered worms. But humans, you have developed the art of turning simple, primal needs like eating and bathing and mating into acts of pleasure. It is a skill I like to think I have perfected over my many years.”

“I see,” I said with a smile. I suppose it was good to know that the Dragon King respected humans. It made me feel more comfortable around him. “Do you have a favourite food, your majesty? I can be sure to prepare it for you.”

“My favourite snack?” He asked, looking at me with seductive eyes, with a glass of brandy in hand. “It’s you, my dear,” he replied, sipping brandy as noisily as possible, maintaining eye contact.

His reply took me off guard, and made me so surprised and nervous that I actually dropped the bottle of brandy that I was serving him. All of the people in the room erupted into laughter at my clumsiness.

“I’m so sorry!” I gasped, grabbing a dish towel and dropping to my knees to try and clean up the mess I had made. I couldn’t believe I had just broken a bottle of the Dragon King’s favourite brandy. I would be brutally punished for sure!

“Oh, no need for apologies my dear, everyone makes mistakes,” the king said kindly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps the king wasn’t going to be a cruel master after all. He was certainly a lot nicer to me than my stepfather ever was. “Now, stop laughing, my children,” he told the other people at the table. “Do not tease the poor girl, it is her first day, after all. I expect you all to be kind to my new pet.” After he told them this, the Dragon King finished his breakfast and left the room.

But the people were not kind to me, and started mocking me as soon as he left the room. “I can’t believe you destroyed that bottle of brandy. It was worth ten times more then you were!” A woman with blue hair yelled at me. “You should lick it up off the floor. It’s the only way you’ll ever be able to taste anything so delicious.”

“Yeah, make her lick it up!” Yelled one of the men with dark red hair. “She made the mess, she should clean it up with her tongue!”

“Please don’t make me,” I begged all of the people with strange colored hair. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Well you found trouble!” A tall, beautiful woman with long silver hair yelled at me, and she stood on the back on my neck, pinning me down. “Go on, slave! Lick the floor until it sparkles!”

“Let her go!” I heard a man yell, and when he walked forward, I could see that it was Dracus, the man who had bought me and given me as a gift to the Dragon King.

The woman who was standing on my neck growled at him. “Come to defend the gift you gave to father?” she asked him. “If you like her so much why didn’t you just keep her yourself? You could use a slave of your own.”

“I have no need for worthless slaves!” Dracus yelled angrily. “But making her lick the brandy off the floor would be stupid. A mop and bucket would do the job much better. Now get your foot off her neck before I tell the Dragon King how you’ve been rough-handling his new toy.”

The silver haired woman glared at Dracus finally took her foot off of me. “Fine, if she’s so important to you. I never thought I’d see you caring so much about a puny human slave girl,” she mocked him.

“I’m not!” Dracus growled, but the other people were already walking away, apparently bored of the situation now that Dracus had spoiled their fun.

“Th-thank you,” I told him timidly before I went back to wiping up the brandy. “I’m so sorry about the mess I made, I’ll clean it up straight away… Ouch!” I squealed out loud as I cut my finger on a piece of glass.

“What happened?” Dracus asked as he approached me.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just cut my finger that’s all,” I replied as I held my finger in my other hand, trying to stop the bleeding. The cut was actually very deep, and hurt a lot more than I was letting on, but I tried my best to be brave and not let the pain show in my eyes. “It’s my own fault. I can be so clumsy sometimes.”

“Hold still,” Dracus told me as he got down on his knees and took my hand in his. “I have healing powers. I inherited them from my mother.” As he looked down at the cut, he put his own hand over it, and rubbed it softly and tenderly. When he took his hand away, the cut was miraculously healed.

“It’s gone,” I gasped with amazement, and smiled as I looked into Dracus’s black, gentle eyes. “Thank you,” I told him shyly. “It was so kind of you to heal me like that.”

Immediately Dracus snatched his hand away from mine. “Hmph!” he snarled at me. “I wasn’t being kind. Evil humans like you don’t deserve kindness! I only healed you so you wouldn’t get blood all over the floor!”

“But I’m not evil!” I objected, but Dracus wasn’t listening. He stormed away in anger, not looking back.

“What was that about?” I asked Jezebel, the blonde slave who was helping me serve breakfast. “Who were all those people, and why did they have such strange hair? I’ve never seen hair those colors before. Did they dye it?”

“You really are stupid, aren’t you?” Jezebel asked me, shaking her head. “You know that dragons can take on human forms! Those are the Dragon King’s children. When a dragon transforms into a human, their hair is the same color as it’s scales.”

“Oh, I see!” I finally understood. No wonder they all looked so strange. They weren’t really humans at all. They were dragons in human form. “But what about Dracus?” I asked. He couldn’t be a dragon, because he had normal, black hair. “Who is he? And why does he hate humans so much? Also, where did he get his magical healing powers? Was his mother an elf, or an angel?”

“Shh!” Jezebel snapped at me. “We don’t speak of Dracus’s mother. Don’t ever ask that question again.” And then she left me to clear up the mess without giving me an answer.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

7 days ago

Chapter 5 is done, and I'm particularly proud of it. ^_^

Chapter 5: A New Friend

And so my life as a slave began, and I had no idea how difficult it was going to be. Every morning, I had to get up early do get dressed and do my hair and make up. Then I had to serve the dragon king his breakfast and put up with all of the dragon’s teasing. Then I had to clean his clothes and make his bed before I served the king his lunch.

Of course, I was never allowed to eat with the dragons. I had to wait until they were finished and then eat with the other servants. After lunch I had all kinds of chores to do. I had to sweep the floors and wash the dishes and help to cook the dinner. It was more work than I had ever done in my life!

One day, after I had finished serving the king his dinner, I was kept late and didn’t even get to eat dinner with the other servants. I had to settle for whatever scraps were left on the plates. When I had finished eating what little I could find, I broke down and collapsed to the floor, crying my eyes out.

“Are you all right, m’lady?” I heard a kind voice from behind me, and turned to see a young man in his early twenties, with ginger hair and just a trace of stubble on his neck. He was dressed in a servant’s tunic with leather trousers and a stylish fedora on his head.

“Oh,” I gasped in surprise when I saw him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. I should get back to work.”

“Nonsense!” the man declared as he kindly took my hand. “I couldn’t forgive myself if I left such a lovely woman in distress. Here,” he said, handing me a handkerchief to wipe my tears away. “I can’t stand to see a beautiful woman cry. You would look so much prettier with a smile on your face.”

“Thank you,” I replied as I used the hanky to wipe away my tears. “You’re very kind. I think you’re the only kind person I’ve met since I cam to this place. Everyone else is so cruel to me. They make fun of me because I’m always making mistakes, and they tell me I don’t deserve to serve the king.”

“Oh, I see,” replied the gentleman. “Are you the new girl everybody’s talking about? Arabella? I’ve heard so much about you. I’m glad to finally meet you at last,” he said as he took my hand in his and gently kissed the back of my hand.

“Oh, yes, that’s me,” I said shyly, my cheeks blushing red. “It’s nice to meet you sir. What’s your name?”

“Richard,” the man introduced himself with a polite bow. “I am a farmer here in the dragon kingdom. I look after the cattle that the dragons eat.”

“Wow, that sounds like a really hard job,” I said, though I don’t think I’d have minded looking after cows all day because I love animals so much.

“It is,” he agreed. “But I only need to watch them from sunrise to sunset and then I get to relax. I love kicking my shoes off in the evening and sitting down with a mug of hot coco and a good book.”

“You like to read?” I asked excitedly. Back in the village where I grew up, nobody liked to read for fun except me. It would be wonderful to have a friend who I could talk about books with.

“Well of course, m’lady,” he said, tipping his fedora at me like a gentleman. “I like to think of myself as a very well read gentleman. I especially enjoy a good adventure story. I absolutely love the tales of King Arthur and Robin Hood.”

“I love those too!” I told him happily. “I especially love the story of Lancelot and Guinevere, and how their love triumphed against all the odds.”

“You read as well?” Richard asked with a look of shock in his eyes. This then changed into a broad, grin of satisfaction. “Well that surprises me. I’ve never met a female who enjoys reading before. Most women are too obsessed with boys to even pick up a book. You must be very intelligent for a girl. I’m impressed.”

“Oh yes, I adore reading!” I confessed passionately. “Especially stories like Snow White and Cinderella. Stories about strong, brave young women, who are treated badly when they’re children, but manage to escape their horrible lives and live happily ever after.”

“Just as it should be!” Richard said sweetly. “Every beautiful maiden deserves to live happily ever after.”

“I don’t think I will,” I told Richard sadly, wiping away my tears again. “Not that I’m a beautiful maiden or anything, but I definitely don’t think I’ll live happily ever after. My family sold me to the dragon king, and now I’m going to be a slave for the rest of my life. No knight in shining armour will ever come and rescue me.”

“I disagree,” Richard insisted, “You certainly are beautiful, and I am sure that you will find your happy ending in the end. It just might not be the ending that you expected. Surely such a kind and gentle soul as you deserves to find love with a true gentleman?”

“I doubt it,” I said sadly. “Who would ever fall in love with a common slave girl like me? I’m sorry Richard, but I really should get back to work. I don’t want to get in trouble.” I stood up and tried to walk out of the kitchen, but I accidentally tripped over one of the table legs and went falling to the floor. Luckily, Richard had wonderful reflexes and was able to catch me in his arms.

“Are you all right, m’lady?” he asked me with concern.

“Oh yes, I’m fine, thanks to you,” I told him gratefully. “I’m so sorry. I can be so clumsy sometimes.”

“Not at all, m’lady,” Richard objected. “You’re as graceful as a swan.” And with that, he chivalrously pulled me to my feet. “And now, I must insist that you allow me to help you with your chores. I refuse to leave you alone when you are so upset.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t let you do that!” I refused him. “You have your own chores to do. I don’t want to get you in trouble!”

“I insist!” Richard told me firmly. “Any punishment is worth being in the presence of an angel like yourself. I shall stay by your side until I can put a smile on that lovely face of yours. And I refuse to take no for an answer. I’ll follow you everywhere you go if I have to, but I am going to help you do your chores!”

“All right,” I finally gave in. “Perhaps if we work quickly, we’ll get my chores done early, and then you’ll still have time to do yours.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” Richard agreed, holding my hand. “Now, allow me to open the door for you, m’lady. I’ll keep you company until you’ve cheered up. It will all be worth it to see your beautiful smile.”

And so Richard and I worked together for the rest of the day. It was so much easier doing my chores with him, and he was so nice to me. He was probably the nicest man I had ever met. He was so bold and confident, and made the most hilarious jokes. We talked about all of our favourite books, and our other hobbies. He told me that I wasn’t at all like any of the other girls in the dragon kingdom. I was smarter than the whole lot of them put together. It was so nice who finally find someone who appreciated me for my brains instead of jut my body.

Pretty soon, I forgot all of my troubles. I was having such a lovely time with Richard that I almost forgot that I was a slave, and how cruel everybody else had been to me. He actually managed to put a smile on my face.

“Ah, there you are!” he declared proudly. “You finally smiled for me. And what a beautiful it is. Your teeth shine like the purest of pearls, m’lady. It was worth all that work just to bask in the radiant glow of your smile.”

I blushed bright red at his compliments. “Oh Richard, don’t be so silly. You’re embarrassing me,” I told him with an innocent giggle.

“I really should go now, it’s getting late and I need to finish my chores before dark,” he said with an agonised sigh. “But, before I go, don’t you think your hero deserves a reward for all of his hard work?”

“Oh,” I mumbled nervously, ashamed that I could not return Richard’s kindness to me. “Yes, of course you do, you’ve helped me so much, but I’m afraid that I don’t have anything to give. Perhaps I could work extra hard and earn something for you. What sort of reward do you want?”

“Well, how about a kiss?” Richard asked with an expectant grin on his face.

“A kiss?” I gasped in shock. I had never kissed a boy before. My stepfather had made me stay away from boys ever since I was a little girl, so I had never even had a boyfriend before, let alone a kiss! If I kissed Richard now, my stepfather would be furious with me! But then, my stepfather wasn’t here. I never had to follow his rules again.

“Close your eyes, Richard,” I instructed him. Richard obeyed, and I nervously moved closer to him until we were side by side. Then, when I was finally close enough to touch him, I stood on my tiptoes and gave Richard a peck on the cheek. My first ever kiss with a boy.

Richard put his hand on his cheek and smiled. “M’lady, for that, it was all worth it!” he declared with a huge smile. “I hope that one day, I will earn myself even more kisses from your tender lips. But for now, I’m afraid I have to go. Farewell, my fair maiden!” he said with a deep bow, before leaving the room as I waved goodbye.

I felt so happy. After all of the terrible things that had happened to me, there was finally a little silver lining to my dark, black cloud of sorrow. I had finally made a friend!

The Shittest Story of all Time!

7 days ago
Richard is such a nice guy.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

7 days ago

The nicest of nice guys! ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

Richard is such a creeper name. I'm a mandated reporter, and I'm pretty sure I'd get thrown in jail if I didn't report someone like that within the first five seconds of him opening his mouth. Asking her to kiss him is straight up sexual harassment, or it would be in our culture. My word, I'm still cringing just thinking about it.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

Pfft! Oh Jster, you clearly are not familiar with the conduct of a true gentleman. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago
He's just too young to understand romance.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

Make your punctuation that of a third grader with dyslexia, use onomatopoeias way too much like a children's book from the 90s, and have long winded, almost way too personal rants about certain people who may or may not be inserts of people who WON'T STOP ANNOYING YOU! *cough*  

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

I do like that that last suggestion. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

6 days ago

What do you think you're going to call your story? 

 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

Well it's currently titled "The Dragon's Slave", but after looking at some of the other titles on Dreame, I'm thinking of changing it to "Enslaved by my Bad Boy Alpha Dragon Billionaire Mate!" ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

awfulart.jpga little busy, but i managed to fit it all in. this is just a joke, but i spent too much time on it rip

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

It's perfect!!! If only it was a stock image, I could use it as my book cover. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

you can have it if you want- didn't draw the girl, so i dunno the rules about that tho

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

Yeah, you can't use other people's art for your covers without their permission. I wonder if I can nag my boyfriend into drawing a picture of a half naked woman laying sexily against a dragon. That'll be a fun conversation. :p

The Shittest Story of all Time!

4 days ago
How's this?

Or this?

I have an account on this site I was just fixing to cancel, what incredible timing. Who knew someone would have a use for the worst picture on there.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

4 days ago
OMFG the cringe. It's marvelous.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

3 days ago

Beautiful! (If only it didn't have the watermark all over it.) :'(

The Shittest Story of all Time!

2 days ago
I can get it without the watermark, I have an account there.

You want the first one, or the evil slutty version?

The Shittest Story of all Time!

2 days ago

Lol, it's okay. I think I might draw the cover myself (if I can ever be bothered)

The Shittest Story of all Time!

4 days ago
This is perfect.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

5 days ago

Anytime. 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

3 days ago

I'm going around the site leaving constructive critism on various stories, just to see if anyone responds. My goal is to be polite, but still firm. I wonder what will happen...

The Shittest Story of all Time!

3 days ago

... Sweeite, I'm afraid I doubt ou constructive criticism will even be seem among the floods of, "OMG dis stoory so gud! i luv Edward Grey bcause he sooo smexeh!!!!"

The Shittest Story of all Time!

3 days ago

True, true. 

 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

2 days ago
You know you COULD be going around our site leaving constructive criticism instead....

The Shittest Story of all Time!

yesterday

So, I haven't written anything in quite a few days (was at my sister's house for a couple of days and was busy for the others). But basically, I'm either going to have to projectile vomit two chapters a day for the next ten days or just give up. I'm thinking I might edit the story slightly so that the protagonist doesn't actually know that the male protagonist is a dragon (despite it being blatantly obvious). That way I can include a big mystery that unnecessarily spans several chapters, with ever more increasingly obvious hints that the protagonist is a dragon as it goes.

Anyways, I'll either force myself to write an entire book in ten days, or more likely I'll just give up and smile fondly on the many lols that were had. ^_^

The Shittest Story of all Time!

yesterday
Oh no, quitting is not an option. You're going to see this thing through to the bitter end while everyone else cringes in agony at each chapter inflicted.

Hell you probably could win the $1500 for real if you didn't troll too obviously in the sex scenes. The people in that site are too far down the road of becoming parodies of themselves and just have zero self awareness.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

12 hours ago

I found something terribly good that I have to share. It's the blurb of a story someone wrote called Goldilocks and the Triplet Alphas

Chasity has spent years being picked on by the identical Triplets: Alpha Alex, Alpha Felix and Alpha Calix Thorn. They’re rich, handsome and popular werewolves and they make sure Chasity knows she is a poor, "fat" and unpopular she-wolf. The boys pull her golden curls and mock her every move, nicknaming her ChaRity because she was taken into the pack house when left behind by her gambling, drug-addict parents. She cooks and cleans for free to pay off the debts incurred by her parents to the wolf pack. She’s relieved to count down the days to her eighteenth birthday when she can leave her pack behind forever. The last thing on her mind is finding out who her mate is when she comes of age. On her birthday, she is horrified to discover that her former tormenters, the Alpha Triplets, are her fated mates, all three of them. She has seven more months of hell aka high school before she can flee. The Triplets who are filled with remorse and lust for their little mate are determined to spend the next seven months convincing her to stay. Is it too little too late or will their happily ever after be just right? 

 

And yes, all of this is real, and the story has 22 chapters and 2558 reads. 

The Shittest Story of all Time!

12 hours ago

... You know what, fuck it! I give up! I might as well just delete everything I've written. It doesn't matter how hard I try. I could write crappy paranormal erotica for the rest of my life and nothing I ever write will be as perfectly vomit inducing as this blurb. :'(

The Shittest Story of all Time!

4 hours ago
:vomit: I can't imagine the depths of cringe that story must have. I almost feel compelled to read it. It's a compulsion similar to the way a terrible car accident draws your gaze to it.

The Shittest Story of all Time!

58 minutes ago

I did it! I think I may have actually written the crappiest chapter yet! The cringe factor is through the roof! I'm so proud of myself! (Special thanks to @a_scout and @Gower for your contributions. I couldn't have done it without you) ^_^

Chapter 7: The King's Favorite

One day, when I was busy in the Dragon King’s bedchamber, changing his linens, the door suddenly flew open and my new friend Richard burst in. “Arabella!” he declared loudly, before remembering his manners and giving me a polite bow. “So sorry to interrupt you m’lady, but the master requires that you attend him today.”

“He does?” I asked nervously. “But I thought that was Jezebel’s job.”

“It is, but she’s too ill to work today,” Richard explained. “She’s sick with the flu and too ill to get out of bed. It’ll have to be you, I’m afraid.”

“But I haven’t finished my chores yet,” I objected. “Won’t he be furious if he arrives back to find his bed still unmade?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, m’lady,” Richard said with a pleasant smile. “I’d be happy to finish the task for you, though I’m afraid a kiss won’t be sufficient payment this time. For changing the linens and tidying the king’s bedchamber, I’d have to think very carefully about how you can make it up to me.”

“Oh, thank you Richard,” I said with relief, “I really owe you for this. But where exactly is the king? What does he need my help with?”

“His highness is in the royal hot springs,” Richard told me. “It’s a huge cave, with dozens of caverns filled with steaming hot water. It’s basically like a giant bath that never goes cold. A lot of the dragons go there to relax.”

“Thank you Richard, I’ll go find them straight away,” I said, heading out of the room.

“You’re not going to the hot springs dressed like that, are you?” Richard asked me, raising an eyebrow.

“Why? Is there something wrong with how I’m dressed?” I asked, turning around. Today, I was wearing a sleeveless navy blue dress made of silk with a pleated skirt and a large white bow tied around it to accentuate my tiny waist.

“Not at all, if you don’t mind your lovely dress getting soaked,” Richard explained. “I told you, the hot springs are full of steam and water. You’ll need some waterproof clothes if you want to attend the king. But don’t worry, I’m sure I can find you something. Come with me!”

Richard took my hand then, and led me to the female servant’s changing room. Luckily, none of the other women were there, so Richard didn’t have to leave. “Now, give me a second, I’m sure I can find something,” Richard told me, and he started rummaging through a large chest of draws, pulling out clothing that was made of a strange, waterproof material. It felt almost rubbery when I touched it.

“I’m not sure any of these will fit you,” Richard confessed as he continued to rummage through them. “This all seem to be made for women with much smaller chests. No offence, m’lady, but I’d be afraid that a voluptuous woman like yourself would just spill out of them. Ah, but wait, this one might fit!”

I blushed red with embarrassment when Richard held up a small white bra, with matching panties, tied together with just a thin piece of string. “Richard, those aren’t clothes!” I told him sternly. “That’s just underwear! I can’t serve the king in that!”

“Underwear?” Richard asked with a chuckle. “Oh, my sweet, naive young maiden. These aren’t underwear, they’re swimming clothes. The servants wear them whenever the dragon’s scales need cleaning. You wouldn’t want your normal clothes getting wet, would you?”

“Well, no, I suppose not,” I said, though it would feel very strange, walking around the dragon’s kingdom wearing hardly any clothing. “Are you sure it’s all right?”

“Absolutely!” Richard insisted. “In fact, I think I’ve thought of the perfect way that you can pay me back for helping you with your chores. How about you let me help you put your new swimming clothes on?”

“Oh, would you?” I asked gratefully. “Thank you Richard, that would be such a great help. I don’t think I’d be able to tie it up at the back on my own. Just give me a second while I change out of my clothes.”

“Of course, m’lady,” Richard said with a gentlemanly bow, and turned around so that I could get dressed without him seeing. A couple of times I thought I caught Richard peeking at me, but he would always look away whenever I saw him, so I didn’t say anything about it, in case I was wrong.

“All right, I’m ready,” I said, holding the little white triangles over my chest. The bra was a bit too small for me, but it was the largest one Richard could find, so I supposed it would have to do. “Do you mind tying it up at the back, please? I can’t reach.”

“With pleasure, m’lady!” Richard said kindly, and he came over to help tie all the knots in the swimming clothes, sending a little tingle down my spine when he touched my back. “I should probably tighten the knots holding your panties together too,” he said helpfully. “We don’t want them falling down now, do we?” And so Richard got down on his knees and undid the knots that tied my swimming panties together so that he could tie them tighter again.

Once Richard was done, he went over all of the knots again, patting them down to make sure that they were tight enough. Suddenly, I let out a little squeal when Richard’s hands suddenly reached around to cup my breasts. “Richard!” I gasped, covering my breasts as my cheeks turned bright red. “What are you doing?”

Richard let out a light hearted laugh at the sound of my squeal. “I do apologize m’lady, but your breasts looked so heavy, I thought I should offer to carry them for you. A true gentleman always carries a lady’s things, you know,” he said with a tip of his hat.

Despite how he’d made me jump, I couldn’t help but giggle at Richard’s cheeky joke. “Oh Richard, you’re always teasing me!” I scolded him, still blushing. “Well, how do I look?” I asked, striking a pose with my hand on my hip. The swimming clothes showed off my slender body, but I was a bit worried about how they pressed my breasts so close together. I hoped I didn’t look like a slut.

“Absolutely radiant!” Richard declared, “But maybe with one small addition,” he suggested reaching into the chest of drawers and pulling out a small, blue, wrap around skirt with little white daisies on it.

“Oh, it’s adorable!” I said, tying the tiny skirt around my waist. “Thank you so much Richard, but I really should go now. I don’t want to keep the king waiting,” I told my friend, giving him a little kiss on the cheek before I left. I really was lucky to have Richard. He’d been the best of friends ever since the day we met. I’d say he was almost like a brother to me!

I rushed over to the hot springs as quickly as I could. A lot of the male slaves stared at me as I passed, which made me feel a bit self conscious. I hoped I didn’t look silly. Eventually I arrived at the hot springs, and was terrified when I heard the loud, booming voice of the king in his dragon form.

“Who dares disturb my relaxation?” the voice demanded angrily. “What fool would be mad enough to enter the king’s own hot spring without permission? I should taken your life for your insolence!”

I froze in utter terror at the dragon’s threat and let out a cry when his immense head emerged from beneath the water, fixing his enormous eye on me. The dragon was so huge that his eye alone was as big as I was! And now I had made him angry. I didn’t stand a chance!

“Ah,” the Dragon King said softly, his tone immediately calming. “It is only you, my pet. What took you so long, little human? You should have come as soon as I summoned you. And you should know by now, I do not tolerate laziness among my slaves.”

“Forgive me, master!” I begged the Dragon King as I bowed down to you. “I did not have any water proof clothes to wear. I had to find some.”

“I see,” the king said sounding amused, lifting his enormous head out of the steaming water and gently nudging at me with his nose. It wasn’t hard, but because he was so large, the nudge sent me stumbling backwards and almost knocked me over.

“Well, it certainly suits you, little pet,” the king complemented me. “Perhaps I should make it an order that all of my female slaves should dress in those clothes all day. Though I suppose you would probably freeze to death in the winter. Such strange, fragile creatures humans are that you do not grow fur of your own, so you must steal the wool and the hides of other creatures to keep warm. Still, I can appreciate your creativity. It is one of the things that makes you humans such wonderful pets.”

“Thank you, your highness,” I told the Dragon King nervously, putting my hands behind my back. “I beg your pardon your majesty, please forgive me for asking, my what do you require my assistance for.”

The giant, golden dragon gave out a soft laugh at my question. “Ah, such a good little slave, so eager to serve your master. For now, my pet, you may polish my scales,” he told me as he lifted an enormous wing out of the water. It was so huge that it splashed absolutely everywhere, getting me absolutely soaking wet as he lowered it to the ground on the edge of the pool. “Dragon claws can become damaged when we hunt. And we can sometimes get stones and other rubble caught between our scales when we land. Your job is to be sure your king is immaculate from the top of my head to the tips of my claws. You may not leave my side until every single one of my scales is sparkling.”

The task was far more difficult than I had imagined. The Dragon King had thousands and thousands of scales, each one as big as my hand or bigger, and I had to scrub them all. I rubbed them all down with a special cleaning lotion, and then I had to scrub rocks and dirt and thorns out from underneath them. It took me all morning, but by the end of the day, the Dragon King’s scales were sparkling like they were made of solid gold.

“You have served me well, my little pet,” the Dragon King praised me. “Truly, I don’t think my scales have shone so brightly since the day I hatched. Why don’t you have a rest, my dear? Take a dip in the water. Consider it your reward for serving me so well.”

“Thank you, your highness,” I said shyly. “But I’m afraid I don’t think there would be enough room.” Of course, King Thunder was so huge that his body took up the entire pool.

The Dragon King gave a soft chuckle at my statement. “Oh, my sweet pet, have you forgotten so quickly my many abilities. I am the oldest and wisest dragon of all time, and I have learnt to take the form of every living creature imaginable. I could transform myself into anything from a whale to a flea. But lately I have found my human form most enjoyable.”

As soon as he said those words, the enormous Dragon King began to change his shape, becoming increasingly smaller and paler, until he once again took the form of a man, with long, golden hair. His elbows were rested on the edge of the hot spring pool, so that his chest was above the water and his lower body was underneath it, so I couldn’t tell if he had shorts on or if he was completely naked.

What I could see was the king’s chest, and it was extremely muscular, with hot, steamy water glistening on his ripped body to accentuate his six pack. Looking at him, I suddenly felt a funny feeling in me. Not funny like laughing, or funny like when I ate too much, but funny strange. I can't really describe it. It was just weird and funny.

“Please,” the king said, gesturing for me to enter the hot spring. “The water is absolutely wonderful. I’m sure that you will enjoy it.” I was very embarrassed to go in to the water with a man who was possibly naked, but I was too afraid to say no to the king. Nervously, I took off my little wrap around skirt and slowly descended the stairs into the steamy hot water.

“Ah!” I let out a little gasp of pleasure as I lowered my whole body into the warm water. I’d forgotten how comfortable and relaxing warm water could be. The slaves only used cold water to wash themselves, and my step father had never allowed me to waste water, so I’d had to wash in the river. I hadn’t had a hot bath since before my father died. “It’s beautiful!” I declared happily as I started swimming around, enjoying the hot spring’s warmth.

“As are you, my pet,” the Dragon King complimented me with a smile, his eyes roaming over my body. “Stunning figure, intelligent, and one of the hardest workers I’ve ever had. Dracus did well choosing you. Though I cannot say I am surprised. Dracus always finds the best virgins to be my slaves.”

I remembered Dracus asking if I was a virgin all those years ago, when I was twelve, and only now did it strike me how strange that question was. “You’re majesty,” I spoke up timidly. “If you don’t mind me asking, why is it that dragons only keep virgins as pets?” Virgin sacrifices were demanded in all of the legends, and it just didn’t make any sense to me.

The Dragon King chuckled slightly at my question. “Ah, but you are a bold one,” he commented. “Asking questions of me, as if it were my job to educate you.”

“I’m sorry!” I suddenly gasped, realizing how rude I was being, acting so comfortable and familiar in the presence of a king. Especially a king who could eat me.

“No, no, it’s quite all right,” The Dragon King said, as he lifted a hand to dismiss my fears. “In truth I find it quite refreshing. Decent conversation is so difficult to find when everyone lives in constant fear of offending you.

Well, my dear, it’s quite simple,” he explained to me. “You humans are capable of forming extremely close attachments to each other. Closer even than we dragons do. If a human has a mate, and children, then it is far more likely that the human will try to escape their life of slavery, and return to the family that they left behind. If a human has never mated, then they do not have those pressing commitments. It makes it far easier for them to adapt to their new life, as far less likely that they will attempt an escape.”

“Oh, I see,” I said thoughtfully. It all made a lot more sense now. It wasn’t so much that the slave was a virgin that was important, it was the slaves didn’t have a family. “So that’s why you only want virgins as slaves.”

The Dragon King laughed at my statement, and unlike before, it sounded a little intimidating. “Well, that among other reasons,” he said to me as his eyes roamed hungrily over my body. “I suppose any human could make a faithful servant. But young, innocent women like you are so fresh and pure and full of life. And always so eager to please your masters. I must say, I find your puppy like obedience endearing. And it can be so very fun to teach a pretty pet like you some new tricks.”

“What do you mean?” I asked the king shyly. But before he could answer, someone else suddenly burst into the cave.

“Your majesty!” I heard a voice yell, and when I turned around, I saw that it was Dracus. The dark haired man with the red demon eyes.

The Dragon King actually let out a growl at his arrival, instantly going from calm and pleasant to irritable and angry. “What?” he snapped. “The had damn well better be important!”

Dracus gave the king a respectful bow. “Forgive the interruption, your highness,” he said politely. “But a large, purple dragon has been spotted flying over the sea in this direction.”

“Ah,” the Dragon King said, suddenly sounding pleased. “Princess Vicious of the Mountain Kingdom. Well, that is good news. I was wondering when she would pay a visit. Well, I suppose I should make myself presentable.

Suddenly, the Dragon King stood up, and I could now see that he was actually naked after all. This embarrassed me so much that I turned bright red and had to cover my eyes with my hands so that I couldn’t see his man parts.

The king only laughed at how clearly embarrassed I was. “Oh, how adorable. The girl is blushing like a rose in spring. Well, come on out, my pet. Surely you can’t expect me to greet a princess with nothing but the skin on my back?”

“Um, no sir! I’m sorry, sir!” I said, scrambling out of the water, keeping my eyes on the ground so that I could not see the Dragon King’s private areas. Unfortunately, I was so focused on not looking at him that I stumbled and slipped, falling flat on my behind in all the confusion. Luckily the king only laughed at me instead of scolding me for my clumsiness.

Eventually I managed to find the Dragon King’s dressing robe, and brought it over to him, holding it open, so that it covered everything I didn’t want to see. The king held out his arms wide so that I could drape the dressing robe over him. He then slid his arms into the arm holes and tied the sash around his waist. Finally, I didn’t have to stumble around with my eyes half closed.

“Good pet,” the Dragon King praised me as he patted my head. “Now come, I need you to help prepare for the princess’s arrival.” And he walked away without even waiting to see if I was following.

Just as I was about to follow the king, Dracus grabbed hold of my arm and fixed me with a cold stare from his red, piercing eyes. “What were you doing?” he asked me.

I was surprised by his actions. I really didn’t understand what I could have done that might have bothered him. “I was just cleaning the Dragon King’s scales, sir. Like he asked me to,” I answered because it was the truth.

“But what were you doing in the water?” he asked me, seeming to think that was important.

“The king asked me to get in the water,” I told him, thinking that he was angry that I was dare to use the Dragon King’s hot springs without his permission. “He said it was my reward for serving him and for cleaning his scales so well.”

“And that’s all?” Dracus asked.

“Yes sir,” I replied.

Eventually, Dracus accepted my answer and let go of my arm. “Be careful, girl,” he warned me. “The Dragon King has a weakness for pretty human girls like you. He might treat you well, spoil you with gifts and rewards, but it’ll all end in tears. Trust me.”

“But why?” I asked, surprised and confused. “The king has been so kind to me. Even though I am a slave, he still treats me a lot better than my stepfather did. He makes me work hard, but he never yells at me or hits me.”

“He doesn’t need to hit you to hurt you,” Dracus warned me. “There are other ways for a male to hurt a female.”

“What do you mean?” I asked Dracus, very confused about why he was trying to warn me about the Dragon King, when he had only ever been kind to me and treated me with respect.

In the end, Dracus just sighed and shook his head. “Just be careful,” he told me again.

After finally being dismissed, I too off at a run to catch up with the Dragon King, and help him prepare for the mysterious princess’s arrival.