It's Raining Again
Love & Dating
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 835 times (finished 105)
"no possible way to lose"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
A short story written and scripted in about four hours.
This isn't meant to be a masterpiece or an attempt at being deep. Hopefully it shows that a competent 20 page + story can be written in a weekend's time.
Contest entrants: there's no reason to garner SHAME when entering a contest on the site. Just sit down and write.
Reading the story description, I’m not sure about how to comment, review, or rate this story. You’re mentioning that it’s not supposed to be much, but you did write with a number of endings in just four hours. With only 1,400 words, this is clearly going to be quite short, and with five endings, even shorter (unless all the endings are off one page). So I guess as I head into this review, my expectations are a bit low, which it appears you expect as well.
Okay, I’m not sure about the first four pages. They are all very short and have no choices. They aren’t even at really good breaking points, to be honest. If there were a scene change related to the breaks, that would at least make a little sense, but in this case I can’t really see why they’re not all one page, other than just trying to inflate your page count.
Next up is the “choices” page. I’ve seen this type of setup before, where the reader is actually forced to choose every option on page. I think it can work okay for a couple choices, but for four choices, well, there’s not really a choice there, is there? How different would the story read if there were simply four consecutive pages with that information? Of course, in that case, I’d likely complain that the story was too linear without choices. Then again, I think it is fair to call these choices false choices because it clearly doesn’t matter which one you choose or what order you choose them, you still have to choose them all.
I played it a few times and can see the effects of the scripting and the effects of that other actual choices. Yes, the scripting works. Is it a competent story? Well, there’s no glaring tense or grammatical errors, if that’s what you’re asking. Is it much of a story? Not really, but clearly you knew that when you published it. Is it decent for a four-hour attempt? I would say yes, it isn’t bad for four hours of work. Is it something people should feel a desire or need to read? Maybe not so much. So nicely done with the purpose you had in mind, but there’s not much more there!
on 5/3/2018 1:50:29 PM with a score of 0
Damn, this was good. I had it in my saves for a while and finally got around to reading it. Great writing Bucky!
on 6/22/2018 11:03:43 AM with a score of 0
I personally did not like this and I would not recommend this to anything. I feel attacked tbh.
on 2/9/2018 10:52:31 AM with a score of 0
Not really Impactful, but still interesting.
on 1/11/2018 4:36:21 PM with a score of 0
on 12/15/2017 6:38:50 PM with a score of 0
I wish there were more choices. I enjoyed the story though!
on 11/18/2017 3:30:41 PM with a score of 0
Definitely a style of its own, almost poetic. Not my particular cup of tea, but still interesting. Has Mr. Jagger given his critique?
-- Weinerpuppy on 8/9/2017 9:39:11 AM with a score of 0
Ha.... well you seem to like The Rolling Stones. Pretty good.... I guess... I wouldn't call it competent, but it ain't bad. Only people who know The Rolling Stones would understand the measure of humor in this game.
on 5/11/2017 2:32:40 PM with a score of 0
Palepaper are you even a real person? That's a Rolling Stones reference
on 5/3/2017 6:33:31 PM with a score of 0
If you really pay attention to the story it does tug on your heart slightly. What really spoke to me was wanting to rid of the colors. Could use improvement as all things do but enjoyable none the less.
on 5/3/2017 4:40:15 AM with a score of 0
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