Player Comments on The Lemonade Business
Although the initial premise was nice, I kind of felt like this story plot-jumped around way too many times.
In the beginning, we learn the protaganist is a pretty poor person and can't afford things. Therefore, he/she decides to make a lemonade stand. However, the plot jumps around a lot and it doesn't seem very logical or realistic. For example, after just two days of lemonade business you are approached by the fun-fair organizer. So apparantly just in two days you gain enough popularity/your lemonade business rockets that a fair organizer approaches you? That doesn't seem really real, and also, I'm pretty sure that organizing a shack at a fair costs money. The writing clearly says, and I quote, "...you have, like, 20 bucks...". After the first day it tells you have 7, and if were to estimate for the second day, it would be in the 7 range as well, so I'm pretty sure you can't run a lemonade shack at a fair with just $35.00 on your hand. And then, after the fair episode, you are approached by a woman who tells you to make your own store? I'm not familiar with how much money shack-runners get at fairs, but I certainly don't think its enough to run your own store at a shopping plaza! If that were the case, shacks at your local carnival would be so much different. Plus, this is from one woman's opinion. Nobody else told him to make a lemonade store (whatever that is). And then, after the store, you are approached by mall people to extend your business, and then known globally? That's a huge jump right there. And then it gets even worse because at that time, it ends.
I think the author was trying to drive out a RPG-ish story at best, considering the usage of items, and then a map, which were both used twice and once, respectively. The plot felt very linear, as you weren't really making a lot of desicions. Usually its "do you run the shack or nah" and we can clearly see here which one leads to glory, and which one doesn't. It felt like the author was trying to force you along the path instead of you making your own choices that would deeply affect and twist around the story however you liked it. As an example, sometimes it gives you the only choice of making lemonade, when it should have the map, go outside, etc.
Going along with the author's RPG intentions, I would suggest doing that, making a Lemonade Stand sim. You have to shop for ingrediants, whilst watching the amount of supplies you have day after day. Depending on what the weather was (as an example) you could make your lemonade hot or cold, and you could accumulate money and shop for other things to attract customers...
The writing was good at least. I caught some errors in the writing, like a mispelled word or bad punctuation, but in the end, it was all good.
But in the end we got a very linear plot where it feels the author is making the desicions for you.
4/8. I'm going to play Part 2 now.
-- Fazz on 8/5/2014 5:12:28 PM with a score of 0
This was a pretty nice little story. Fun and kind of childish but I wasn't really expecting much else. Good work.
on 9/11/2019 3:07:33 PM with a score of 0
I would do 7, but NOTHING, I mean NOTHING, is better than Reeses. So, eh, nice game!
It was funny and realistic enough for me not to click off, but unrealistic enough to be funny. Good job!
on 5/10/2019 5:16:01 PM with a score of 0
This game piqued my interest because it seemed kind of like a money-management game. However, there wasn't much of a money-making premise at all. I feel that you could add a bit more depth to it. For example, shouldn't you have to restock your supplies at some point? And wouldn't you have to pay to secure a spot at the carnival?
However, I did like the strategic placement part. More detail and time put into this would make it a much better game.
on 2/3/2019 1:48:07 PM with a score of 0
You become a lemonade seller, and your favorite color is blue now. There's apparently no way for you to lose but it's great making lemonade.
on 1/13/2018 7:41:28 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good, I think I gave it a higher rank then it deserves, but for some reason, I actually really enjoyed reading it. 6/8
on 10/10/2017 9:16:11 PM with a score of 0
Really enjoyed this. It was great fun, not meant to be taken too seriously, and I just really, really liked it. Sure, it was linear, but I was too busy getting caught up in the thrill of making lemonade and upgrading my signs to notice.
on 9/20/2017 5:58:11 AM with a score of 0
Short and cute, but doesn't really let you make real choices. Probably good for younger children on the site.
on 6/12/2017 8:23:43 AM with a score of 0
-- liz on 4/22/2017 12:07:02 PM with a score of 0
i guess i beat it? cool!
on 6/6/2016 6:33:21 PM with a score of 0
It's a game about making and selling lemonade.
you are a genius.
on 12/7/2015 3:08:47 AM with a score of 0
A nice time waster. I'm trying not to be mean but it was kind of small.
on 10/2/2015 3:34:18 PM with a score of 0
Why?-It was really linear and I couldn't put the fish inside of the lemonade, that's just how I roll.
on 8/31/2015 7:03:00 PM with a score of 0
[Will you make it big time or be running a roadside joint forever?]
Well, considering that this game is startlingly linear, we don't really have a choice there. This game could very easily branch out into tons more paths; it's a great idea. This game did have a good amount of detail, though, which I appreciate, but it could've been longer and less linear.
on 7/11/2015 8:28:10 AM with a score of 0
It's a longer story, but extremely linear. Every page only had one or two options, and one of the options always brought you back to said previous page. It was kinda fun, but kinda boring as well. It just didn't seem very well thought out.
on 1/13/2015 9:04:36 AM with a score of 0
A decent story, it's fairly entertaining. A bit railroaded, but that's neither here nor there.
on 1/5/2015 11:54:10 PM with a score of 0
It was not short, but not long. I enjoy this game, and it was pretty fun to be honest. There were no errors that I have seen (if there are, they are very minor!) in grammar nor spelling. I like how the game described the process of starting out by making a stand to setting up a store, and the frequent use of items just makes it better. In conclusion....I reccomend this to people who want to or already run a business, and to those who have some free time.
on 11/10/2014 3:37:37 PM with a score of 0
i somehow lost XD
on 11/8/2014 8:31:32 PM with a score of 0
@nitty Um... This isn't a quiz. Seriously, nitty, what are you smoking, and can I have some?
on 7/21/2014 1:03:46 PM with a score of 0
This guy did seem a little stupide
-- jelly on 7/20/2014 9:56:49 PM with a score of 0
So cute! I love the person who makes these quizzes. They're always so cute and I like them! 6/8
on 7/11/2014 9:23:23 AM with a score of 0
Fun! Appropriate for little kids, too! But the weird thing is: Why didn't anybody figure out that I was just using Kool-Aid packs? Isn't taking Kool-Aid and selling it illegal. I mean, isn't Kool-Aid copyrighted? Anyway, great! I'm playing the sequel right after this!
on 6/16/2014 11:29:37 AM with a score of 0
This game is cool
on 5/30/2014 11:56:06 PM with a score of 0
Overall, it was a fun Storygame. Honestly, if you made a sequel and used variables like money and supplies, you could make your own tycoon game! Waiting impatiently for a sequel!
on 3/3/2014 11:53:01 AM with a score of 0
What should I do with the Fish?
on 1/12/2014 5:11:49 AM with a score of 0
Pretty straightforward, but I did laugh at some points. Nicely done.
on 12/11/2013 8:36:58 PM with a score of 0
on 9/1/2013 11:30:12 PM with a score of 0
Nice, but I wish Fishy became a more involved character...
on 7/12/2013 2:35:07 PM with a score of 0
i don't think i would go to a store that just sold lemonade but i did like the game
on 4/14/2013 11:28:02 AM with a score of 0
This was well-written and entertaining, but a business game such as this should really offer more choice. For example, exapnsion can lead to bigger profits but with the risk of added costs. Adding money as a variable could help.
on 2/27/2013 6:21:02 AM with a score of 0
I love it
on 2/15/2013 11:41:44 PM with a score of 0
very fun a great idea cant what to go world wide
on 2/6/2013 7:18:41 PM with a score of 0
A good idea, and pretty well executed, but there could have been more, considering the potential (actually have a money variable maybe?). Still a pretty good game!
on 1/31/2013 12:01:50 AM with a score of 0
Good enough for a first maybe?
on 1/29/2013 4:13:27 AM with a score of 0
Good game, not the most interesting topic though.
on 1/28/2013 8:30:19 AM with a score of 0
Not bad, I must say. I was having a great time with this game.
-- Ardel on 1/28/2013 1:38:47 AM with a score of 0
A tad bit short for my tastes, but at least it's light and cheery. :)
on 1/27/2013 2:02:47 PM with a score of 0
It was pretty good.
on 1/26/2013 10:22:53 PM with a score of 0
I somehow became anamoured from this, despite it being so short and having a strange plot. Nice!
on 1/26/2013 8:02:04 PM with a score of 0
-- qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm on 1/26/2013 7:37:40 PM with a score of 0
Great idea. I really enjoyed it.
on 1/26/2013 5:46:50 PM with a score of 0
It's a nice little story, and I really liked it. I think that it escalates really quickly, in a short amount of time. How do I go from selling Kool-Aid on the sidewalk to having a store in about less than a week? But aside from that, and the few parts that were linear here and there, it was entertaining and great.
on 1/26/2013 1:54:52 PM with a score of 0
Plays well, no bugs and only a couple typos. It could use more meat though. As it stands, there's a lack of strategic business decisions and not much to emotionally involve the reader.
on 1/26/2013 12:17:15 PM with a score of 0
on 1/26/2013 12:14:33 PM with a score of 0
... I liked it! Was lots of fun. Would be cool if it had some variables, like you had a certain amount of money and you had to go to the store every day to buy new lemonade supplies and you could buy different things for your shop depending on how much money you made. Still, I liked the game as it was, especially Fishy the fish ^_^
on 1/26/2013 6:57:37 AM with a score of 0
It's not bad, pretty nice read for five to ten minutes. The use of items was good, and although it was rather linear, I liked it. I would like it to have more text and be slightly longer though. 5/8
on 1/25/2013 10:00:47 PM with a score of 0
Nice little game. While the subject material wasn't exactly high fantasy or anything like that, I thought it was well made and was impressed with the smoothness of the Item use =)
on 1/25/2013 7:52:41 PM with a score of 0