You're A Lizard, Harry!

This is a really funny satire of the noob's first shitty fanfic before they get inevitably smited (smote? smitten? for fuck's sake i don't care i'm tired). Harry Potter is an especially good choice for this as that franchise tends to aggregate some of the shittiest entries in the realm of fanfiction written by elementary schoolers.

I think the full commitment to the bit does hinder it even in a satire though. A lack of real choice in a CYOA game, as well as an abominably tiny and rushed game altogether, are in fact core elements of a shitty CYS story, but I feel like the fact that this *is* satire is literally the only thing keeping it from getting forcibly unpublished and tucked into a closet with a black hole in it. There are literally endless possibilities for mocking bad fanfiction, and I would've loved to see some of these here. Unfortunately it just isn't there.

Yeah, this is a funny five-minute read regardless. The author definitely accomplished what they set out to do, but take it for what it is.

It is still so, so much better than anything legitimate that JK Rowling has ever released though.

Truly the BOOBS!!! of the new generation.

Liminal, this is brilliant :D You have nailed the cliches of a certain (very) special kind of writer and this story is a brilliant example of a particular way of writing (there will be some cretins out there who can’t recognize true beauty when they see it and will criticize you. Verbally incinerate them). You portray a certain kind of UK accent very well. Obviously, there are a lot of words and some of them are spelt correctly or put in the right order, a lack of originality which I found frankly disappointing at times, but I think I can ignore that to focus on the true beauty of what you have created.

In some ways I feel this is a significant improvement on the original as it is more suitable for millennials and much more original in both dialogue and prose. I think it was an error on the part of the author that Dudley survived the snake but I like the single use of the word “space”. I think the lack of choices in a cys is a brilliant narrative choice and I liked Drigah (this part seems like something Sent would write as well!). I also like the fact that this story doesn’t use capitals but spells onomatopoeia correctly.

Obviously, a piece of art like this is above criticism (some might also say beyond praise as well) but I humbly beg the writer’s pardon to point out the one single, obvious, irredeemable flaw in this: it’s not longer. I feel it’s possible we might have skipped a few bits in the story here and there and would very much like to see a full, more fleshed-out version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or possibly, the entire series or even other classical works like The Lord of the Things, er Rings) given this author’s fantastic writing style and treatment. What of Fluffy, the tree-headed God? Snape, the Photos Master? Or even Dumbledoor, the principle and headmonster of Hogwarts? There is so much potential here, so much raw… something. Great work :D

Good, but too childish

Not bad. It made me feel like I was in the wizarding world. I suggest in the next part, we have a Slyhterin path. Because I like the colors green and silver. Thank you.

I feel like it could be a little longer and more parts where you choose. But other than that it was amazing 👏

Don't ask a preload question just to belittle the player before the game even starts

Well, safe to say that i wish i was doing my homework now.

This is fucking hilarious. I was in tatters at every page. The opening with the way Dudley is described as "tromp"ing down the stairs raining filth on HARRAY was great.

I giggled when I caught a stray for frying bacon on a pan. It's safe if you're not an uneducated, stupid orphan, I promise!

The way Dudley tantrums at so many designer presents got me. As did Dudley's drinking a pan full of grease.

The snake bit was basically taken straight out of the goddamn movie, I swear. That goes for most of the game, too. The entire first half is so fucking accurate about how I see the movie.

The second I got to Hogwarts and the prose degraded I almost fell over laughing. Super accurate about how the idiots during the Warrior Cats days would write a story.

This is fantastic. Thank you for writing it!

This was a hilarious game, and I think if you hate Harry Potter, you'd love this one because it does a really good job of satirizing some of the sillier elements of the first book. And if you liked Harry Potter, you'll still enjoy this storygame because it's just fun!

It's also a pretty fun parody of a noob fan-fic game. The way Liminal parodied how the authors of these games will almost meticulously document each and every little part of the scene in the beginning, only to then go on and zoom through, with wildly inconsistent pacing as they hurtle towards the end, their interest gone, and their lizard brain inevitably seeking a new source of dopamine.

Like at one point, we get a play by play explanation of how Harry wakes up, cooks bacon, and we get this almost cinematic view of Dudley's temper tantrums, with generous amounts of sensory details like the oil, Dudley's exaggerated accent, and dust mites lavished on the scene that nobody cares about, only to then ridiculously skip past the entirety of Harry's first semester at Hog-sorry, Frogscales. You can almost pinpoint the exact moment the hypothetical author who wrote this lost interest and just zoomed past, making the minimum amount of pages required for the storygame to be published.

It was genuinely funny, and Liminal has a title for setting the scene well, and writing the Harry Potter parody in a way that recognizes the original's flaws and satirizes them.

I'll treasure the badge we get at the end for beating moldyvord forever, it's a work of artistic magnificence.

Overall, I liked it! I had a good belly laugh reading this one, and I think it's really funny!