You're A Lizard, Harry!

This is a really funny satire of the noob's first shitty fanfic before they get inevitably smited (smote? smitten? for fuck's sake i don't care i'm tired). Harry Potter is an especially good choice for this as that franchise tends to aggregate some of the shittiest entries in the realm of fanfiction written by elementary schoolers.

I think the full commitment to the bit does hinder it even in a satire though. A lack of real choice in a CYOA game, as well as an abominably tiny and rushed game altogether, are in fact core elements of a shitty CYS story, but I feel like the fact that this *is* satire is literally the only thing keeping it from getting forcibly unpublished and tucked into a closet with a black hole in it. There are literally endless possibilities for mocking bad fanfiction, and I would've loved to see some of these here. Unfortunately it just isn't there.

Yeah, this is a funny five-minute read regardless. The author definitely accomplished what they set out to do, but take it for what it is.

It is still so, so much better than anything legitimate that JK Rowling has ever released though.

Truly the BOOBS!!! of the new generation.

Liminal, this is brilliant :D You have nailed the cliches of a certain (very) special kind of writer and this story is a brilliant example of a particular way of writing (there will be some cretins out there who can’t recognize true beauty when they see it and will criticize you. Verbally incinerate them). You portray a certain kind of UK accent very well. Obviously, there are a lot of words and some of them are spelt correctly or put in the right order, a lack of originality which I found frankly disappointing at times, but I think I can ignore that to focus on the true beauty of what you have created.

In some ways I feel this is a significant improvement on the original as it is more suitable for millennials and much more original in both dialogue and prose. I think it was an error on the part of the author that Dudley survived the snake but I like the single use of the word “space”. I think the lack of choices in a cys is a brilliant narrative choice and I liked Drigah (this part seems like something Sent would write as well!). I also like the fact that this story doesn’t use capitals but spells onomatopoeia correctly.

Obviously, a piece of art like this is above criticism (some might also say beyond praise as well) but I humbly beg the writer’s pardon to point out the one single, obvious, irredeemable flaw in this: it’s not longer. I feel it’s possible we might have skipped a few bits in the story here and there and would very much like to see a full, more fleshed-out version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or possibly, the entire series or even other classical works like The Lord of the Things, er Rings) given this author’s fantastic writing style and treatment. What of Fluffy, the tree-headed God? Snape, the Photos Master? Or even Dumbledoor, the principle and headmonster of Hogwarts? There is so much potential here, so much raw… something. Great work :D

I luvd it goood job man keep righting!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling good about my Debut story now, thank you ｼ

Fuck u and ur mom ur Harry Potter and Ron

Lmao I needed that thanx

this is beautiful best story ever

lovely

you did great. and you'll get better. i liked the story it was intresting and fun