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Escape the Dark Castle

Wherever you go, there you are...

You wake up once again in your cell.

You have no idea how long you’ve been here, but it feels like forever. And who knows, maybe at this point it is.

You don’t even know how or why you’re in this terrible place.

Maybe this is hell. It certainly feels that way.

You have brief visions that you’ve died. Sometimes very horribly, but yet here you are breathing. The air you’re breathing isn’t great filled with the scent of who knows what, but you’re still breathing.

You glance and find that you’re not alone. Three others are here in the cell with. They’re all a motley bunch looking as dirty and ill kept as you probably look right now. Somehow some of them seem familiar but then you can’t remember much anymore everything is always a blur now.

“Don’t I know you?”

In any case, after a brief moment of talking, someone notices that the cell door is slightly ajar. Your captors forgot to shut it properly.

Wasting no time the four of you leave the cell…

A fighting chance perhaps!

Your group quickly take the contents of the chest as you hear the sounds of guards shouting in the distance.

You’ve found:

1 Liquid Luck: Discard to re-roll your character die and apply that result

Cracked Axe: Two handed weapon which allows you to roll a chapter die with your character die in combat (Two inventory spaces)

Dented Daggers: Once per round in combat whenever you hit, you can attack again. (Two inventory spaces)

1 Partially Rotten Apple: Discard to gain 1 HP

In addition to this loot, your incarceration in this place has resulted in some interesting character trait that may come in useful ONCE per game:

Cook - Callous: After surviving a combat encounter you may draw 3 item cards instead of 1.

Smith - Deranged: You may attack and rest in the same round of combat.

Tailor - Lazy: When you rest you may restore 3 HP instead of 1.

Tanner - Greedy: When you restore HP discarding food, you may restore an additional 2 HP.

Divide up the loot as you all see fit and pick the person to lead the group for the next encounter.

Ostrom very smart, Ostrom smartest of household. Ostrom can talk and count to ten. Very easy for him if he think. He thinkest the best, he thinkest super duper best when Ostrom cooks. 

Ostrom likes chicken. Big axe good for chopping chicken. Ostrom marches up there and picks up axe. Will look for chicken, but Ostrom waits, not too long because chicken flap fast.

Ostrom saunters up to the wall where the big two handed axe is hung. Despite his huge size and pudgy fingers, he manages to lift it with ease, wielding it like a big butcher knife.

Tanner, despite finding Ostrom's existence as a drain to the intelligence of the gene pool morally objectionable, votes he leads the group.

She pockets the partially rotten apple while at it as well, though is doubtful of its nutritional value.

Smith, who chose a profession based on his actual name, saunters up to the chest and tsks at the dented daggers. Doesn't anyone know how to actually take care of their blades?

He supposes they'll do, considering the guards didn't even check the cell door. Perhaps he'll even find a way to repair them somewhere in this castle. He sheathes his blades into his belt and awaits the group's next move, eying their self-appointed leader with trepidation.

Axe Bloody Spray

The group decided that the biggest blackest guy in the group should go first, so the Cook took the lead. He had the biggest weapon anyway, along with a big axe.

The group didn't get far before they met someone of a similar body type also carrying an axe.

"Bro, do you even lift?"

There were no decisions to be made it was an immediate fight!

The Cook and the Executioner slammed their axes into each other, while the Smith managed to get behind him to try to stab him in the back. He succeeded but then received a hefty back kick to the face.

The Tanner and Tailor did their part as well, with the Tailor having to drink her luck potion to avoid a flailing backhand which hit the Tanner instead.

Smith lost 2 HP

Tanner lost 2 HP

Still despite the executioner's desire to add more heads to his collection, he was ultimately no match for the group and succumbed to his wounds, with the Cook appropriate beheading him as his final blow.

The only thing of worth on his body was a relic of some sort.

The Shard of Fury: Once per round of combat, when you roll a double, you may roll again and apply both results.

Decide who gets it (remember that Cook and Smith are at carrying capacity limit) and pick who is going to lead the next encounter.

Ostrom kicks at Ostrom 2.0. Ostrom had chicken, so Ostrom 2.0 must have double chicken.

"Chicken where? I want chicken!"

Ostrom kicks more. Tailor picked up sparkly thingy. Maybe chicken? Ostrom hobbles to Tailor, grabs maybe-chicken. Ostrom sniffs and licks it, put in mouth.

"Bah."

Ostrom spits it out and throws it back at Tailor.

The one braincell that's still left in Ostrom's skull, chooses for him to lead again.

​​​​

Boned

Continuing to let the Cook go first, the group continued onward hoping that they wouldn't have another encounter like the one they just had again, or at least for a very long time.

Of course this being the Dark Castle, that hope was just wishful thinking.

Well it's a boney undead horror, it's pretty self explanatory.

It's going to be another fight, but your group can either decide to rush it or try to bait it and then strike.

Make your choice.

Ostrom goes into room, looks at bones. Big heap of bones, smell bones. He shakes his head. Points at group, then at bones.

"Chicken bone, not good, not good."

Back to wall, shuffle, shuffle, in the dark, very quietly. Ostrom knows. Now bad time, wait for good time. Then schwinggg.

Ostrom clumsily makes some chopping gestures with his axe to demonstrate the point. 

He votes to try to bait it and then strike. 

​​​​

Tanner is suffering from technical issues and is regrettably unable to see the undead horror. She'll default to Ostrom's judgment, however questionable it is, unless a contrary opinion is put forward.

Okay. Don't worry though, there's no vital information on it. It's just a cool picture and some flavor text.

Considering Smith just got backkicked by the executioner, he still feels a little winded. He agrees that baiting it and then striking it would be the appropriate course of action.

Pile of Bones

Following the Cook's lead of drawing the creature in, the group managed to surround it which allowed for a better advantage rather than simply rushing foolishly into battle with it.

Just like last time the Cook and Smith did the most amount of damage with the Tailor and Tanner getting in hits when they could. The pair of them recieved some minor wounds but nothing major.

Tailor lost 1 HP

Tanner lost 1 HP

Eventually the beast was reduced to a pile of broken bones and no longer a threat. The only thing of value in its stomping grounds was equipment of a less fortunate soul that encountered it in the past.

Rotten Shield: Whenever you would lose HP reduce the amount by one (To the minimum of one)

Decide who's getting it and pick the person to lead the way.

While Smith would like to take the shield, he unfortunately has no room for it. Bah. 
 

Also, since Smith has been doing the major fighting in both rounds, he slides to the ground for some much needed rest (and is NOT using his ability just yet).

Yeah resting is weird in this game, basically you can only rest when combat is going on. So while everyone else is fighting something, you just chill in back and heal up HP until you decide you want to participate in the fight.

I'll keep you in mind for resting though for the next combat encounter.

Ok then. 
 

Smith decides he does not have room for the shield, but plans to hang back during the next combat round. Let the others kill the next thing they run into. He's tired.

Vaugely annoyed at the fact that the Cook has not served as a particularly effective meat shield, Tanner nominates the Tailor to take lead.

To continue the streak of poor descisions, she also consumes the partially rotten apple. Possibly she'll die of plague, but hopefully she'll regain her lost health. In any case, it's an improvement from her current situation.

With a now empty inventory, she claims the rotten shield. 

Were you using your Greedy trait, you'll heal an additional 2 HP which would fully heal you.

Sure, I'll use the trait.

Okay.

Tanner lost the Greedy trait

Ostrom puffs out his chest in pride.

"Monster scared because Ostrom smart"

Ostrom agrees with the Tailor. "Agree" though is a big word since Ostrom's current speech consists of a few grunts and mutterings about chicken bones. Ostrom had put some of the bones in his mouth, but it's too smelly to make any kind of decent soup of it and now he's kinda annoyed by it.

Tremors

Despite some minor protests, the Tailor was shoved up front to lead the group. Wasn't like there much she could do against her former cellmates being an older woman and all.

The Tailor walked as cautiously as she could along the dark passage which soon caused some complaints that she was walking too slow. However, the sounds of something other than disgruntled prisoners could be heard.

They're in the walls!

The group was hit with chunks of flying stone. Only the Smith managed to avoid any major damage.

A fight immediately ensued with the Cook leading the charge as usual, though the Smith hung back to rest a moment from his wounds. The Tailor and Tanner attempted to take up the slack, but were both injured in the process to the point that THEY had to step back from their own injuries.

Fortunately by this time, the Smith stepped in and he along with the Cook landed the fatal blows against this vile worm creature.

Cook lost 1 HP

Tailor lost 2 HP

Tailor lost Lazy trait

Tanner lost 2 HP

Other than the bloody carcass of the worm, the only thing that was discovered was a potion that had been undigested inside it. Who knows how long it had been in there.

Elixir of Insight: Discard to change any chapter die to show a trait of your choice.

Pick who gets the potion and who is leading the group to the next encounter.

The Smith was annoyed. Once again he had no room for any goodies and had to pick up the slack of some other members. With a shrug, he waited for the others to divvy up the spoils so they could all move along.

In a bid to get rid of... um, encourage some of the members of the party to step up, the Smith nominated the tailor to once again take the lead.

Smith also decided that as he had ONCE AGAIN been on the frontlines, and he was still a bit injured from the fight with the executioner, he was going to rest during the next fight as well to bring himself back up to full health.

Without using his ability.

The Smith points out that he is still resting. Unless there's a rule against doing that twice in a row?

He also reminds the tailor that putting her in front last round was the tanner's idea, and the cook agreed. Smithy didn't do anything the rest haven't.

Fair enough.

The Smith argues that since he and the Cook have been the main ones ending the fights, keeping them alive and healthy as long as possible makes sense for the wellbeing of the entire group if they ever encounter some kind of unspeakable evil, such as a big boss. 
 

The tailor, by contrast, is an old woman who's apparently an effective meat shield  leader.

The Smith awaits the vote of the other two members.

He also points out it is a lot more likely to run into another enemy than a pit, considering there's a bunch of guards that patrol the castle.

Tanner votes that the Tailor lead, if only for the mild comedic value of such.

It would probably be fairer to make the most capable of them lead, but it's survival of the fittest in this place. What use are the old and the crippled here, but for a meat shield?

Ostrom very smart, finds Tanner smart, so Tanner is super smart. When Tanner says; Tailor leads, Tailor leads.

The cook chooses the Tailor to lead.

Armed with the support of his fellow travelers, the Smithy flashes his three remaining teeth at the Tailor and, with a overexaggerated flourish of his arm, gestures for her to take the lead.

Strange Brew

Once again the Tailor was shoved forward by the rest of the group and once again the Tailor had no choice but to comply.

The group eventually walked into an open area very much like a courtyard, but they were obviously still indoors. Oddly a cart was seen approaching in their direction and a man in a robe immediately saw the Tailor first and walked briskly towards her.

"Hey you, try this I just made it and I want to see if it works! HERE!"

The Tailor had an elixir thrust into her face and had a choice to make.

Refuse it

Take a sip

Down the whole thing

Only the Tailor has to make this choice. (The other three are probably snickering at her.)

Weak Stomach

As quickly as the Tailor chugged the elixir, she quickly vomited it all back up barely missing the alchemist's shoes.

"Hmm, must have used too much demon dong. Might have to cut the dung worm slime with ground up ogre toenails too." the alchemist responded and went back to his cart.

Tailor loses 1 HP

After you're done laughing (or in the Tailor's case recovering) pick someone to lead the way.

Smithy, after rolling around on the floor laughing (thankfully missing the vomit) volunteers to go first this time.

Also, can we get a group stat check?

Ostrom points at smith. He no bleed, no wound, no bleed no wound super good. 

Ostrom chooses to put the smith forward, only because he's the only one with full health, plus he's also wielding a two handed weapon.

Team Tertius Current Stats

Cook

11 HP

Cracked Axe (2 Handed)

Callous Trait

Smith

12 HP

Dented Daggers (2 Handed)

Deranged Trait

Tailor

8 HP

Elixir of Insight

The Fury Shard

Tanner

10 HP

Rotten Shield

Bataclysm 2: The Battening!

The Smith took the lead feeling a little bit more confident in the group's chances. All in all things haven't been too bad yet he thought. If they all just managed to keep their wits about them, they might just make it.

While the Smith was lost in this optimistic thought, he failed to notice the danger above.

"Ah yes, you'll do nicely for dinner when the kids come back from school!"

The Smith's arm was hit during the creature's surprise attack. Fortunately the creature had not been able to just lift off with him and was quickly pulled down by the group.

Even at this disadvantage the bat beast fought viciously as it realized it had misjudged its prey. The Cook and the Tanner suffer a few wounds of their own before it was at last brought down.

Smith lost 2 HP

Cook lost 2 HP

Tanner lost 1 HP

In the creature's dying breath however, it made one last sudden attack.

Everyone pick one character trait. (Might, Cunning or Wisdom)

Might.

Also I want to rest during the next combat round. 

Might, it's what Tanner has the least of.

Smith has more HP than every other person on the team. It should be Tailor who has the chance to rest.

Yeah, I agree, since the Tailor is the one with 8 HP, she deserves to rest. The cook is also down on 9HP.

So my suggestion is to have the smith lead this time around.

*This is what Ostrom would say if he was a little bit wiser, but he decided to drink a Might potion instead, because Ostrom stronk

Yeah yeah I'll go ahead 

One Tailor One Arm

The creature's last attack was directed towards the Tailor who was unable to avoid its nails sinking into her flesh before it finally relented and died of its wounds.

Even normal bats are known to carry diseases and in the case of big bat abominations like this one, it carried something much worse. The Tailor could feel her arm go completely numb before withering in front of her horrified eyes.

The Tailor is CURSED!

Crippling Injury: You can now only carry one item at a time and never carry two handed items at all. This cannot be removed.

The Tailor is going to have to discard one of her items or give it to someone who can carry another one.

Pick who leads next.

Ostrom is just staring off into the distance, drooling slightly and stomach rumbling. Could his stomach hold up two of these bats? That were the true mysteries of life besides catching chickens and eating chickens.

​​​​​Upon being prompted to make a decision, he shoves the smith forward before returning to stare at the bat.

chicken feed. Chicken. Big chicken feet. Chicken. Chicken. 

@MrAce321 need to know what item you're dropping or giving to someone.

Free Your Mind

The Smith took the lead ready for the next challenge. Despite the Tailor losing her arm, the rest of the group was in fairly good shape, so he was confident that they might just make it out of here. Of course the main problem was finding the damn exit in the first place.

The other problem were all the things trying to kill them.

"Ooooooooo. Ooooooooo. This is really boring. Oooooooo."

These cursed spirits didn't notice the group at first as they were preoccupied with their usual routine. Though they were in the way of the group's path and the Smith was uncertain how to proceed.

Having a bit better grasp on the situation, the Tanner suggested that they try to clear their minds of any strong thoughts as it might cause the spirits to think they're just other lost souls. How she came to this conclusion nobody really challenged her on, or at least the Smith and the Cook didn't since she seemed smart to them. The Tailor might have said something but with only one arm, she wasn't in much condition to challenge the Tanner's idea.

So the group cleared their minds and walked with the spirits, and all seemed to go well until it didn't.

Now it is unknown why the Cook began thinking of a yellow penguin at this particular time, especially since he'd never even seen one before, but yet once the image of a yellow penguin got in his head (which was usually blissfully empty) it dominated his thoughts to a degree that caused the spirits to suddenly stop moving.

Wasn't long before they all turned and attacked.

While this battle might have seemed hopeless given how surrounded and outnumbered they were, it turned out to be quite easy. The Tailor downed her insight elixir to gain a bit of an advantage in combat, while the other three pulled their weight as well. Though the Cook was shouting about being attacked by yellow penguins the entire time, which nobody understood but after it was all said and done the group was victorious.

Tailor lost Elixir of Insight

The only thing of note that was found was a piece of stale bread laying in the passage for whatever reason.

Loaf of Stale Bread: Discard to restore 1 HP

Pick who takes it (or more likely eats it) and decide who leads next.

Yellow penguin big, super big, very super bigly. Ostrom likes big bird and big fish. Penguin is fish and bird. Thriple like. Should pray to big fish bird.

During his very enlightening spiritual journey though the corridor of cursed spirits, Ostrom found a new perspective on life. The smith wasn't a regular old smith, but the big yellow penguin, the chosen one to lead mankind to more chickens.

He started dancing around the smith which looked more like stomping and flopping his arms around. 

Apparently Ostrom has chosen the smith to lead the group again. 

Smithy looks at Ostram in confusion by his... interpretive dance, but shrugs and decides to go ahead one more time. After this though, he was volunteering the Tailor to start going forward.

Things were funnier then.

"special prayer for special fish bird!"

Incense and Almonds

The Smith continued to lead as had been the norm for awhile, though he considered to there might be a new line up soon if they were going to be encountering anymore malevolent spirits.

The group walked the dark passages until a smell hit them. It wasn't one of decay however, almost had a pleasant smell and it was getting stronger.

Nothing like the sickly scent of flowers mixed with cyanide

The group realized they needed to get through this area quickly before they succumbed to the poisonous fumes.

The Tanner and Tailor both managed to run through with no problems. Perhaps years of having to deal with various dangerous perfumes sold by snake oil salesmen prepared them better for this.

The Smith had some issues, but quickly managed to recover.

The Cook, however had the hardest time. One would think maybe his time in kitchens would have helped somehow with dangerous odors, but no. He very nearly collapses several times before dragging himself out of the harm's way of the poisonous air.

Smith lost 1 HP

Cook lost 3 HP

Pick who leads next.

The cook gets knocked out and falls asleep. He'll rest in the next turn.

Well, the Tailor can lead next as decided previously.

Tanner will prod Tailor with her rusted shield until Tailor is persuaded to lead and/or contracts tetanus.

The Smith wonders if cutting off the tailor's other arm will motivate her to keep moving without complaint.

A Rock and a Hard Place

The Tailor sighed, resigned to her fate of once again leading the group. The group passed through a more cavern like area with rocky outcrops sticking out of the ground everywhere.

The initial concern was that danger would be lurking behind one of these outcrops. Turned out though that it was one of the outcrops themselves that was the danger.

"SURPRISE NIGGA!"

It's going to be a fight no matter what, though can chose if you're just going to rush the walking rock or fight a bit more defensively.

Make your choice.

This time, Smithy thinks aggression might be the better plan. After all, they are at a disadvantage regardless of what they do, fighting a giant rock monster on its' home turf and all. It might be a good idea to try and finish the fight quickly.

Tanner, who does not possess a single weapon nor is likely to roll might, is rather hesitant about direct combat. She'd rather fight defensively.

The cook nods off, but generally agrees to fight defensively

@MrAce321

@Darius_Conwright

@TypewriterCat

You guys are up

Rubble

While the Smith's approach of going in pants on head retarded was something that normally the Cook would have went along with, he decided to follow the Tanner's approach of fighting more defensively and drawing the rock creature in.

At first this tactic didn't seem like it was working very well since most of the group was still hit by the creature's massive stone fists. However, the Tanner seemed to fight better while everyone else was taking the blows and managed to chip away at the stone.

Eventually the rock monster lost structual integrity and fell apart.

Cook lost 2 HP

Smith lost 2 HP

Tailor lost 2 HP

The group also found another rotten piece fruit just laying around.

Partially Rotten Apple: Discard to restore 1 HP

Decide who's eating it and pick who leads next.

Ostrom picks tailor. Tailor picked apple. So tailor is good at picking path. Path picking like apple picking. 

Meanwhile he's gnawing at some rocks scattered in the room

The Smith agrees that the Tailor should go first.

Dark Castle's Punch Out!

The Tailor didn't even know why she bothered at this point. Once again she lead the group.

The passage they walked down seemed to get narrower, almost to the point where they were forced to walk single file with no easy way of getting around each other.

While this wouldn't be ideal in most circumstances, it really didn't bode well for the Tailor who now had someone hostile in front of her.

 "I AM BE DANGEROUS NOW, I'M STRONG YOU'RE NOT!"

The Tailor feeling like she had little in the way of options, swung on the man with her one good arm surprisingly hitting him across the face. However, a skilled fighter like this man was hardly moved and responded with jab to her stomach, completely knocking the wind out of her and causing her to fall into the group.

Tailor lost 1 HP

Now then, you have the option of letting the Tailor continue to fight, or someone else can step in to take her place. Up to you if you want to do this now or later depending on how much of a beating she's taken or if you'll just step in when she's dead.

Anyway make a choice how you want to set this up and the combat will continue. (Also nobody can rest during this fight)

Smithy thinks the Tailor is doing a... heh heh "admirable" job, and should continue to fight herself.

The Smith offers a wager to his fellow travelers: if the tailor can survive five rounds, they'll agree to no longer call upon the old cripple to lead the party.

(With EndMaster's permission, and with the agreement of both the Cook and Tanner, I'd like to offer a bet: the Tailor surviving five rounds, this encounter being round one, means that we are prohibited from having the Tailor lead the party for the rest of the campaign. If she dies, oh well, we'll send in Ostram).

Ostrom was picking his nose and thinking about yellow penguins. This yellow penguin talks funny with big words like "admirable". He has no idea what it means, but he nods along and offers his booger to the Smith. 

Salt, good food, eat. 

HE then points at Tailor.

Old woman smelly, you lead.

​​

Tanner disagrees with the other members of her party, surprisingly. Tailor isn't uniquely high in health nor specialized for combat, and it would be rather difficult to escape this place with only three members.

In the case that Tailor loses more than half of her remaining health fighting, she votes to send Smith in. He has skill in combat and is in better shape than the Cook.

Ostrom changed mind. Yellow penguin indeed big, very big. Big enough to smash big bad chicken. 

Ostrom changed his vote to the Smith

You got knocked the FUCK OUT

Nobody willing tried to step over the Tailor to try to assist, so the strongman picked her up and continued his assault since he was obviously a believer in equal rights also meant equal lefts.

Now it could be said how badly the Tailor get her ass kicked, however another way of looking at it is this was a pretty poor showing by the strongman considering she managed to land a few hits on him with ONE ARM before she was knocked down again.

Perhaps upon seeing this, there had been a new found respect for the Tailor since the Smith was suddenly pushed over her body. The Smith did a little better, but he ended up taking just as much of a beating. Potentially even worse to the point that eventually his body fell on top of the Tailor's.

Finally the Cook stepped over the pile of bodies in the cramped corridor and easily finished off the now heavily wounded strongman.

Tailor lost 3 HP

Smith lost 4 HP

Only thing of note that the strongman carried was a knapsack. Nothing in it unfortunately, but still potentially useful.

Tattered Knapsack: Does not count towards item limit. Allows you to carry two additional items.

Arrange your inventory how you wish and pick who is leading next.

Ostrom takes knapsack, ostrom puts knapsack on head. Good hat, good hat, hat of king. Ostrom leads.

Can you now also activate the ability of the cook next round?

Okay next time you pick up items, I'll activate it.

I vote for the Cook to lead this one. He's got more health and finished the Strongman

With the highest health, Tanner offers to lead.

The Tailor put up a good showing in a boxing match with one arm, and the Tanner isn't using us at meat shields?

Smithy marvels at the character development this escape seems to have brought about.

Can I PLEASE use my character trait in the next combat round? I'm at 3 health.

Yep, was probably going to do that anyway.

Off Key

To everyone's surprise the Tanner took the lead. Everyone was fine with this arrangement and followed her.

It wasn't long before they were stopped, but not by a creature of any sort, but by a simple door. Well perhaps not so simple given the inscriptions on it.

Yep, there's definitely a lot of danger in Discord

From what the group could gather is they needed to perform a chant to open the door. If they did it right they'd be rewarded, if not well they didn't want to dwell on such matters.

None of them were really singers by trade, but they didn't have much choice.

Almost immediately the tone and pitch of their voices was off, divided by gender lines. The Cook and Smith were chanting in a much lower tone than the Tanner or Tailor. Attempts to match up were failing until somehow the Tanner managed to somehow dig deep to match the lower tone of the Cook and Smith.

Unfortunately the Tailor was still not achieving this feat and eventually whatever the forces were sealing the door now triggered a trap due to her dying cat sounds.

The room began to collapse causing several large stones to fall on the group. The door itself fell open due to weakened structural integrity, allowing the group to escape, but obviously very battered by the falling rocks.

Cook lost 1 HP

Smith lost 1 HP

Tailor lost 1 HP

Tanner lost 1 HP

(And obviously couldn't use either the Cook or the Smith's abilities in this case since the situation wasn't there, maybe next encounter)

Pick who's leading next.

Tanner will lead the group again, and perhaps also revel in the moral superiority of her selflessness.

The cook agrees with the Tailor, but is probably planning to munch on her bones before the flies get to her.the cook is hungry.

Send in the tailor.

And yes PLEASE next encounter.

Ace just asked for stats.

Team Tertius Current Stats

Cook

3 HP

Cracked Axe (2 Handed)

Tattered Knapsack (Empty)

Callous Trait

Smith

2 HP

Dented Daggers (2 Handed)

Deranged Trait

Tailor

4 HP

Crippling Injury (One arm)

Tanner

8 HP

The Fury Shard

Rotten Shield

Fire and Brimstone

The Tanner lead the group and given the shape the rest were in, she was about the only one still able to walk without bleeding every two steps.

She just hoped she could keep it that way. Granted she saw the rest of the group as literal meat shields, but she still didn't know how much longer she had to endure this castle and if they all died, it wouldn't be good for her.

Neither was what appeared suddenly before her.

"Despair mortals, for your luck has run out and you will die here."

It was definitely a fearsome looking foe, though it hadn't quite completely formed yet which meant if they were quick enough, the group could run. Might not be without risk though. (And obviously once again the Cook and Smith wouldn't use their abilities since they're running away)

Of course the other option was to fight it.

Make your choice

Fight it. 

The Smith points out that the narrator himself stated there is still a good chance of the creature forming in time and damaging them, and that only one party member can rest at a time during combat. 
 

Fighting the creature would allow the Cook to be the one to rest, while the Smith can use his ability to attack and regain health at the same time.

If the creature is able to damage us while we flee, our next fighting encounter will be even worse, since the current situation will still apply, except some of us will have even lower health or even a dead party member or two. Neither option is good, but fighting is the best of our current options. 
 

Smithy recommends Tailor slink off and practice her baritone in case we run into any more magical song doors.

The cook will also pick up two more items this round if we win the battle and that might lead to more healing potions and other weapons we can use next round.

The cook will nap for a bit and rest and let the other people slaughter big chicken that is not yellow penguin.

He agrees with whatever the smith is doing.

Unless the Tanner has any objections... we are going balls to the wall against the forces of Hell.

The Smith threw his head back, and let out a loud scream. As he did so, he slowly bent backwards until he resembled the letter C. The pressure he was placing on his spine, coupled with the echo of his depraved howl, caused a massive adrenaline dump into his bloodstream. 

Years of doing the unspeakable in order to survive his prison, strangling people for a loaf of bread, sexual favors to the guards for protection, self mutilation simply to be able to go to the medical wing and be out of his cell for just a moment... for years he had shoved it all to the back of his mind, in a special little box.

 Turns out it was Pandora's Box, cause all those old memories of traumas deeply buried, all those old feelings of rage and helplessness that for the longest time had been the only things he thought he would ever feel again... they exploded from within himself as his mind finally fractured from the emotional overload. No more hiding. He would get out, or he would die actually doing something instead of scurrying around like the cockroach he had been viewed as for so long.

It was time. With Smithy's self of self now temporarily demolished, his darker impulses had taken control. The dark Hellspawn was about to wish it had stayed in whatever circle it crawled out of. It had reformed on Earth only to meet something far worse than whatever petty Warlord it had served.

Up here... Smithy the Smith was the big swingin' dick.

Time to use the Deranged Trait.

Through the Fire and Flames

Taking the Tanner's silent nod as an acknowledgment to do battle, the Smith charged forward, though it's uncertain if the Tanner actually was nodding to attack or was nodding at the Tailor to run. However, the Smith's deranged nature forced the group to get into the fight.

It wasn't an easy battle either. Despite the group taking turns to catch a breather every now and then, the demon was causing serious damage to all of them. It almost looked to certainly be the end of at least one of them, however they somehow managed to overcome the infernal creature though not before it unleashed one last blast of hellfire.

After it was all said and done, the group's health wasn't much better than when they started and in some cases worse. However the Cook managed to find a few more items in the area.

Cook lost Callous

Cook lost 2 HP

Smith lost Deranged

Smith lost 2 HP

Tailor lost 3 HP

Tanner lost 3 HP

You've found:

Effervescent Evasion: Whenever you would lose HP, discard to lose none

Infested Wheel of Cheese: Discard to restore 1 HP to ALL characters

Also everyone pick 2 stats: Might, Cunning, Wisdom (Yes, you can pick the same one twice)

Seeing that the crippled old woman is close to death, it is probably wise to use the cheese wheel now. 

The cook also chooses Might of course. 

Might for both. 
 

Um, I'm guessing I have two health, counting the cheese wheel?

Yep, you're back to 2 HP

I notice we've been doing better than the other two groups lol.

Team Tertius!

Edit: Primus made it to 17 encounters. Christ on a pogo stick how many are there? We're at 11 and still hopping so we've done better than Secundus.

Generally 15 plus the final boss. Primus ended up getting one extra due to the intro card they got, though they also got more equipment in the beginning because of it.

Secundus actually drew the intro card that gave them one less encounter, but they got less equipment.

Tertius got the "basic" beginning so you still got a few more cards to go, but you're almost there.

(Your team has also been a lot slower to respond to stuff, whereas everyone in Primus was pretty quick on the response hence why they got to the finish line earlier despite having more encounters)

Might seems like a safe bet. If the other two members of the group were wrong in choosing it, they certainly have less health to lose than Tanner.

Edit: Tanner has realized her fundemantal misconceptions about how this entire system works and is gravely ashamed for her errors.

@MrAce321 You're up

Call of the Cult

As soon as the Tailor picked up the potion, she heard something in her head. At first she thought it was someone in her group, but they were preoccupied with which direction to go next.

"They don't care about you, you know. They've been pushing you forward into the horrors of this place since the beginning. It's all for nothing anyway, you can't escape this place, death IS inevitable.However YOU might still be able to save yourself from the worst of it. Just let me in and I'll see to it that when your time comes it will be quick and painless."

The Tailor's mind was unable to fight off the evil influence and quietly began to tear up. At this point she had been through so much agony that a quick painless death seemed like the best she could really hope for.

The Tailor has been MARKED FOR DEATH

The Tailor may never rest

The Tailor takes extra damage when facing certain enemies

Other effects may apply while having less than half HP (Stay tuned!)

This curse cannot be removed

Pick who is leading the way for the next encounter

I vote for sending the Tailor first since they're completely screwed anyways. 
 

I'm curious though: what exactly triggered the curse. Was it picking up the item, some latent aftereffect from killing the monster, etc.

In a normal game, whoever picked the cards would have gotten the curse. Since it's a case of me drawing for you, I have to resort to some extra steps. In this case I had you all pick a stat and based on who rolled the stat last (Or rather not at all) got cursed. I did something similar with the crippling injury curse.

Since you all picked might, you and Darius rolled that a lot easier than TCat did. Ace was going to have a difficult time with that as well (He never actually did it) I had you pick two symbols in case of ties, but again everyone picked might for everything.

Ace picking up the potion didn't really matter, I just incorporated it into the flavor text.

If you notice, I did things slightly different with Primus by stating there was an item laying around and they could grab it if they wanted to. If they did then they got cursed or in their case mostly plagued. They didn't really notice this until the very end though.

I rolled the dice.

Cook got Might

Rerolled

Smith got Might

Rerolled

Tanner got Might

You never rolled it at all.

Tanner spends a possibly excessive portion of time laughing at the Tailor, but as the least injured member of the team takes the lead.

Smithy frowns. The Tanner's decision to lead seems a bit unnecessary, since the Tailor is going to die anyways no matter what. He thinks it'd make more sense for the Tanner to hold onto as much health as possible while the Smith and the Cook rest up during combat encounters.

Ultimately, though, it's their decision. If they want to take front, their call.

Tanner smart, ostrom follow tanner. Tanner leads.

The cook sniffs the Tailor. For some reason the old lady smelt worse, like rotten chicken instead of old chicken. He decided that if she dies that he wouldn't try cooking her.

Strange Meat Pie

The Tanner took the lead and after few minutes of walking, she could smell something actually half way pleasant in this place. As the group proceeded further, the scent got stronger. It was apparently wherever they were heading, there was food being cooked.

The cook is humming something in a weird language. The only words you can make out are when he loudly shouts  "BORK! BORK! BORK!"

In any event the castle chef is preoccupied and not paying attention to the freshly cooked meat pie.

You can either just move on to the next encounter or try to steal the pie.

Stealing the pie requires one person to succeed two CUNNING rolls in three attempts.

Failing the the roll results in the chef hearing you and attacking.

Make your choice.

Tanner has a 31.6% chance of succeeding the roll, which are not odds she's willing to bet on.

The Tailor has 50%, if she's willing to take that gamble, and the Cook and Smith are at 31.6% and 4.3% respectively.

Fuck it. Go for it.

Also, on the 50 percent chance there's a fail, I want it on record that as I am at 2 health and would have died had I not used my ability last encounter, I'd like to rest next time I'm in combat.

The cook agrees to just go for it.

MARKED FOR PIE

At the urging of the rest of the group, the Tailor went to try to steal the pie. She slowly crept into the kitchen as quietly as possible and got to the pie.

The chef was still singing his nonsensical song doing something else, it seemed like this would work, but whether unintentionally being clumsy at the last moment or perhaps being driven to suicidal thoughts from the voice in her head, the Tailor dropped the pie.

Immediately the chef turned around, grabbed a very large knife and attacked screaming "BORK! BORK! BORK!" the entire time.

Shaking their heads, the Cook and Tanner moved in to attack while the Smith sat this one out mainly because he'd slipped on some grease on the floor falling on his ass.

"Now is the time! Attack those that put you up to this!" the voice said, though with great difficulty the Tailor ignored the words.

The chef might have been threatening, but he was hardly the most skilled opponent they'd faced as the group all managed to hit him. However the Tailor was also stabbed in the process, fairly badly too.

"Fool! This is what you get for resisting! What are you doing?! You're only prolonging the inevitable!" the voice screamed in her head as she grabbed her potion to immediately heal the fatal wound.

The Tailor stood up.

"There's still time to end everything painlessly. Just stop struggling and join us."

Shouting a big "NO!", the Tailor led the next group attack on the chef. It was a valiant effort, but this time the Tailor was grabbed by the chef and mortally stabbed multiple times. The Tailor's body dropped while the combat continued.

This was the end for her, it wouldn't be long now. There was a kind of peace in this thought, but the problem was the pain that she was currently in as the end wasn't coming quick enough. It felt like it would never end...

The Smith stepped directly on the Tailor's dying body as he charged into battle.

At one point the cook's axe missed his mark and chopped off one of the Tailor's feet in the process.

The Tanner knocked over a boiling pot during the battle which spilled on the Tailor's face, burning it horribly.

Finally when the chef was killed his huge corpse fell directly on her crushing her. Fortunately for the group her dying screams were muffled by his fat ass. Her footless leg twitched a bit more and then finally nothing.

"Told you to join us."

As the group was recovering a bit from their latest ordeal, a strange man dressed for battle entered the kitchen, they thought it was another enemy at first, but turned out to be help instead as he stated his intentions.

"If you're looking to escape, it isn't far. Fortunately for you my contract is also in that direction."

The Witch Hunter has joined the group

The Witch Hunter has 5 HP and can carry two extra items for the group. He will assist in combat.

With this new ally, the group's spirits all went up a bit as it felt like they had a fighting chance again. They all left in a better mood than before, not even giving another thought to the Tailor whose painful sacrifice of not giving in to the evil within her would never be known.

The Tailor

Stabbed, chopped, burned and crushed in battle with the castle chef

Survival Time: 12 Encounters

Pick who leads next (Yes, the Witch Hunter can lead)

LOL FAG!!!

Send forth the Witch Hunter.

Smithy then turns to Ostrom. "So, do you wanna hang back next time we get into a fight, or should I?"

Ostrom looks very hard at Smith. Think. Much words, lots of word. Think hard. 

"Me sleep. You sleep next turn."

Ostrom happy with witch hunter. Old woman yaps much, have only one arm for cooking chicken, didn't even bring chicken. Old woman smelly and fat too.

Witch hunter should lead!

Run!

Since the Witch Hunter knew the direction the group let him lead.

The group entered a large open area, so large in fact, they couldn't even see the ceiling. It was just darkness above, granted it was pretty much darkness all around them. The Witch Hunter mentioned having a bad feeling about this given that he was first to smell the overwhelming stench of something rotting.

They continue forward and then soon a shaking and rumbling could be heard along with a loud roar.

Because a normal living cyclops just wouldn't be grimdark enough for this game

Even the Witch Hunter didn't want to fight such a gigantic horror and all of them decided the best course of action was to run seeing as it was slow enough.

Still it made up for being slow by having an extended reach, not to mention throwing a large rock at everyone. The Smith in particular suffered a big thump by the zombie cyclops. The Witch Hunter and Cook took a bit of damage too.

Eventually the group managed to get out of its range and outpace it escaping through an exit that was too small for it to fit through.

Cook lost 1 HP

Smith lost 2 HP

Witch Hunter lost 1 HP

Pick who is leading again.

Tanner prods the Witch Hunter forward with her rotten shield.

The Cook and Smith are not doing so well. A shame, that. Only a few encounters left, though, so maybe they'll manage. In any case, the Smith should rest next combat.

Ostrom kicks the witch hunter some more. 

"Go, go, go!"

Ostrom turns to Tanner. Ostrom flexes muscles.

"Me beat up big chickens. Me strong."

Bloodhorn 5: Big Bad MOOMA

The Witch Hunter continued to lead stating that it shouldn't be too much further.

The lingering smell of a giant rotting corpse was soon replaced by the smell of animal shit. The Cook being somewhat familar with such things, mentioned they might be getting close to kennels or something. And of course knowing this place, whatever animals there were, they probably were hostile monsters.

The place they entered next wasn't a kennel though, but more of a stable. While the smell was terrible, stables are typically close to the outdoors which hopefully confirmed they were near some sort of exit.

Of course the entire place had a bizarre design layout, so who really knew. The more pressing matter was the large hostile animal that was clearly ready to attack if they got closer to the door on the other side.

Dark Castle Footnote #14: The Infamous Minotaur Bloodhorn never did contribute much to the rearing of his own calves, preferring to keep his involvement to a bare minimum of providing bloody body parts until they were able to hunt on their own (Which didn't take long). This lead to Mrs. Bloodhorn having to do most of the work and growing to become a very bitter cow in her later years as you now see before you.

While this might not have been a demon or zombie cyclops, a larger than average mad cow (That still had horns no less) still wasn't exactly something to dismiss seeing as it was making unnatural snarling noises and charging right at the group in this tight space.

As agreed on earlier the Cook took a step back to rest, which very well might have saved his life since the Witch Hunter and Tanner were trampled and the Smith was gored immediately during the initial charge. The Smith stabbed at the cow, even managing to take out an eye as his body flailed about on the horn until the cow managed to finally throw his dead body off.

Tanner lost 2 HP

Witch Hunter lost 3 HP

With no more time to rest, the Cook jumped into the fight as the cow turned around for another charge. However, the Witch Hunter shouted to the Tanner and the Cook to run now while he took on the beast. The way to the other side was clear now and the Tanner and the Cook were in bad enough shape that this seemed to be the best move.

The last thing the group saw as they ran out the door was the Witch Hunter engaging the carnivorous cow in what might be his last battle and the dead body of the Smith.

Witch Hunter has left the group

The Smith

Gored by a Beastly Bovine

Survival Time: 14 Encounters

Pick who is leading next

The Witcher really did save everyone with that last encounter.

Basically the "special" on his dice ignored all other results for that combat roll and allows the group to just move on to the next encounter with no effect. (Unfortunately he rolled that AFTER the Smith already got killed)

Of course I got killed by a bitter baby's momma smh.

Oh well! This was still fun, and I at least took an eye off that bitch before I went down.

Oh, the Smith died. Tanner is marginally sadder at this than she was for Tailor.

She will lead, and one last encounter awaits.

Not gonna argue this since it's over already: but in Encounter 14 I was supposed to be the one resting, not the cook.

Best of luck, guys!

He said "me sleep, you sleep next turn" I took that as him resting for the upcoming encounter and you'd get the next one.

Which would have happened, but the zombie cyclops didn't allow for anyone to rest, so I just moved it over for the bitter baby mama.

Ahh! Yeah I didn't realize the cyclops wasn't a resting opportunity.

Also, both the Cook and the Tanner each have 2 HP left, if I'm not mistaken...

Good luck, guys!

Spirit Drain

The Tanner took the lead hoping that this was still the way the Witch Hunter had mentioned before.

The tunnels were indeed a bit wider and there was the slight sensation of air flowing so maybe this was leading outside. However, the Tanner also began to feel a chill and it wasn't from the air. This was an unnatural chill that wasn't just a feeling on her skin or even in her bones, but her very soul.

"YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE, YOUR SOUL IS MINE FOREVER!"

Seeing what was going on the Cook attempted to shake the Tanner out of her stupor, but that didn't do much.

Then he moved on to slapping the Tanner out of her condition, which didn't snap her out of it, but it did seem to temporarily stop her spirit from moving any further.

Realizing once again that violence is the solution to everything, he gave a strong right hook to the Tanner, knocking her to the ground. Whatever magic that was ripping her spirit from her was disrupted and returned to her body.

Tanner lost 2 HP

After regaining consciousness, the Cook helped the Tanner up and pointed to the large door up ahead.

This is it

Pick who's leading the charge.

Actually, after looking at the final boss, it doesn't matter who leads at this point. I'm going to go ahead and roll the final battle outcome so we can finish this up before Thanksgiving.

Are you not entertained?

The Tanner and the Cook both looked at each other and opened the large door together which wasn’t locked.

They entered and found themselves in another large open area, but this time there was something else. Open air and moonlight!

Looking up they saw they were in a very large pit litered with bones and some onlookers peering over the side.

“Hey Joe! Some of them made it after all, send in the champion!”
“Okay, oh wait he’s already coming. Bob, hit that lever.”

The large double doors behind them suddenly slammed shut. There would be no escape.

Looking over to the top left of the pit they could see some sort of lift and then a large figure stepping on to it. The sound of another lever was heard and the lift then began to slowly drop down.

“Yeah just hang on a moment, he’ll be down soon to kill you. Can’t promise he’ll make it quick since he’s fairly sadistic bastard, but then you sort of have to be when you’re champion and all. Heh. He is pretty strong though, so you might get lucky and he’ll kill you instantly.”
“Hell, you might get get really lucky and kill him! You'll get to walk free if you do!”
“Bob, that’s mean to give false hope.”
“Sorry Joe.”

The Cook and the Tanner didn’t fancy their chances, but the pair them prepared for what would be their last fight, win or lose.

At last the lift reached the ground and the champion stepped off it.

"The MASTER congratulates you on making it this far, but this outcome was inevitable."

The champion raised his huge shield up which nearly protected his entire body despite him also being on the larger size. Still the Cook and Tanner weren't strangers to combat tactics at this point.

The Cook swung his axe which sunk deep into the shield to the point of being stuck and began to pull. This was countered by the champion who swung his flail smashing it into the Cook's arm. Ignoring the pain, the Cook managed to pull out the axe before stepping back.

The Tanner meanwhile managed to stab the Champion in the leg with her shard while he was preoccupied with the Cook. The champion smacked her with his large shield which she partially blocked with her own only to have some of it splinter and break.

He followed up with a kick to her face while simultaneously blocking the Cook's axe aiming at his head. The champion's own aim was more accurate as his flail smashed into the Cook's face. He dropped his axe shouting in blind agony clutching at where his eyes once were. The champion then performed a fancy spinning move with his flail, crushing the right side of what remained of the Cook's skull, permanently ending his suffering.

The Tanner dragged herself over to the lift and tried to escape by climbing the chain on it. Her strength however was almost gone to pull herself up very quickly.

"Bob, you idiot! You're supposed to bring that thing back up as soon as he gets off it!"

Bob's incompetence didn't matter however, as the champion still had enough reach with his flail to swing high enough to hit the Tanner in her lower back causing enough pain for her to fall.

She smacked her head hard on the pavement of the fighting pit. She couldn't feel her lower half, the flail probably broke her back. Her vision was starting the blur. This was the end, the only solace she could take is she got to see the moon one last time. It was a crescent.

Then the blurry outline of a large figure blocked out the light followed by something fast coming at her face which ended all vision for good.

The Cook

Killed by the Champion of the Fighting Pits

Survival Time: 16 Encounters

The Tanner

Killed by the Champion of the Fighting Pits

Survival Time: 16 Encounters

Team Tertius' attempts to ESCAPE THE DARK CASTLE have ended here.

Lolol, yeah I was surprised that we even survived this long. If the witch hunter wasn't there, we would've been dead several cards ago.