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The ability to change one's username. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/feature-wishing-well/message/2498

This feature was rejected in 2006 as "too technically difficult, and confusing for other users."

It was rejected again in 2012 as "this would be verrrry difficult to do."  The person requesting the namechange was told that an admin might be able to do it manually.

Ah. Never mind, then.

Make a new account. Let people know (from the old account) that you're switching. Ask an admin to 'transfer' your points (i.e., subtract from one account, add to the other.) 

That last part might not fly, but it's likelier than actually getting this request through. ;P

^ That's a good idea.