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Questions about a storygame? Thoughts on Eternal? Any other IF you're playing out there?

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

10 years ago

Okay. So, how do I beat Scar?

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Creator here. Made as a tween-ager. Still cringe at it.

Scar is impossible unless you select the "Across the Island" option, where you'll

come across Timon and Pumbaa. Complete the training and get the Gold Medal.

(Past Me quite obviously wasn't too fond of "doing research" on this film)

Now you may confront Scar. You'll see a page that will give you the option to:

"Click here if you went to the cavern with the cubs and hyenas" or some shit.

Anyway, go into your inventory and select the Gold Medal, and

Scar will become beatable. 

Good luck, my friend. Congratulations on reaching Phase 6 of your journey through this COLOSSAL mind fucking and half-assed excuse for "human imagination".

Sorry for making this. Truly, I see my former self and I as two completely different people. This boy only wrote so he could have a world to call his own, complete with an artificial sense of worth and lazy character design. Also, he apparently didn't have the balls to create a distinguished character other than the reader, and had to give the love interest two different names. Why the hell not a simple unisex name, you confused fuck? 

His half-assed writing ability is understandable, for his only knowledge of the world outside his own, aside from the school he went to and his immediate family, was the judgmental, antagonistic bully who was his older, middle brother. 

These creations originate from him fighting back against his childhood, struggling too hard to "grow up", shunning away his old interests, along with anything even slightly targeted at children.

Good luck on your quest, buddy. Here's to your sanity and intelligence level making it out alive.

 

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Not sure if your profile pict is a satirical jab at your younger self, or you're too lazy to change it.

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

I'm aware of the pic. I don't change it because it's a part of my history. It serves as a reminder of the past, no matter how truly good, bad, or cringeworthy it was. That no author is without sin.

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Hey some authors revel in sin!

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

God, my old stories just make me embarrassed... Honestly, I even have a list for all them in the order (From most to least embarrassing):

1. Cross a Canyon

Reason: It was painfully short, the humor was dry, and the grammar was sub-par. Even an 8 year-old could do better.

2. The Hunt For Cake 1

Reason: It was linear, sub-par grammar, a stupid plot, and it's basically bad jokes galore.

3. The Hunt For Cake 2

Reason: Same as The Hunt For Cake 1 (Though the humor was a bit better).

4. Life Sucks

Reason: The grammar was, again, sub-par, the execution was pretty bad, and it's pretty boring. (Though I'm sure people will be pleased by the sequel)

5. Press Start

Reason: Not really any bad things to point out, other than most questions being mainly about Fallout. I planned to add to this, but then I got banned on the account I published my stories on.

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Damn. It doesn't work.

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Use the gold medal upon encountering Scar. Don't select any options, and go for your Gold Medal.

September the 14th: Part VI: Barney Lives

9 years ago

Pff, don't feel so bad. It was an infinitely better love story than Twilight.