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Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

So, in a hastily made competition against another writer on the site, who will remain anonymous unless they decide not to be a little bitch and to face the fact that they're pathetic and should probably exile themselves from not only this community, but all writers and people who are capable of reading alike, we had a competition to spew out a vampire-based story in fifteen minutes. Not about how good it was, or every whether it even qualified as a story, but simply word count. No pre-planning, no revision, just a desperate and pitiful race to spew words out into the world. So, in that fifteen minutes I shat out this. It's not good, but I'd like it here just to spit in the face of the pathetic "writer", a word I'm loath to call him even with the quotation marks, to remind them they're pathetic, who failed to even come close. So again, here it is in all it's desperate fifteen minute scramble of glory.

The group walked through the heavy snow, making effort not to leave any footprints in the cold winter snow. Jacob led the group, a sawn-off in his right hand and a flashlight, it’s light now flickering, in his other. The group a group of travelling soldiers, known as a flying squadren, that scoured the desolate, abandoned country that once stood as the leader of human development. 

It’s funny, it wasn’t the blood-sucking freaks that made the world like this. Or at least, not enitrely them. Hell, they’re half the reason there’s even humans to speak of. When the Partigan Virus hit, it wiped out millions in a few months. Within a few years, billions. There was no cure. No way to stop the virus. There was, however, people who were immune. These people gained the vampires attention. 

At first, people presumed the vampires were mutated victims of the virus, or the experiments that the virus started in. You now know that’s bullshit. They’d always been there. On the corners of society, or so deep in the heart of it that no one noticed. Whether they described their “quirks” as being royalty, mad from the incestous relationships of their parents, or eccentric billionaires whose money had went to there head, they always occupied positions of power. They were always there. And when the virus hit, they stepped in. Not out of love, or admiration for mankind’s struggle to survive, but out of necessity. The humans were their prey, and they were going extinct. They gathered those who were immune. At first, the immune were told they were being put into programs to find a cure, and breed the immune. Soon, they realized what they had become: cattle. The people were bred in small, insular communities, where their entire purpose was to be a living bloodbag. 

Jacob fought against the bloodsuckers. He fought for freedom. While many he liberated saw him as taking away their only chance at protection, their only chance at life, by destroying the only system, the only society left. Jacob fought on. Right now, the group he had assembled, little more than a dozen men, was satisfactory. Three ex-soldiers, two police officers, a fire man, two priests and a few others who happened to be well-trained with weapons. Jacob was leading them to Rattenburg, where they planned to ambush a caravan carrying a vampire nobleman, hopefully putting an end to his wretched life. 

They walked along the slow, watching the horizon. Jacob noticed deer footprints in the snow. The deer population had exploded recently, as the hunters who once plagued them were wiped out. While a bellyful of hot deer meat would be a welcome luxury, Jacob hoped they didn’t find any. He didn’t want the group stopping their journey to hunt, which would only make it much less likely that they could reach the caravan’s ambush point on time. He knew that, while he was willing to miss the chance to eat, his group wasn’t. If they spotted deer, they were hunting. Jacob kept walking, drawing no attention to the deer. 

Jacob noticed a cloud of cigarette smoke in the distance. He motioned for his men to keep low, crouching and moving forward. Two men, submachine guns hanging off their shoulders as their red coats blew in the breeze. Red Hands. The sick fucks who had abandoned humanity and pledged their surface to the vampires in the hopes of eventually securing a place among their kind, slashing open their palms every week to allow their vampires a taste, just to remind them who their masters were. 

“Rizzo! Carl!” Jacob whispered loudly. “Take aim!” 

The two men dropped to their knees, raising their rifle. 

“Fire!” Jacob said, loud enough to startle the two Red Hands, who shuddered under a burst of fire.

The Red Hands collapse, their blood staining the snow red. Jacob crept forward, checking both their pulses, before motioning for his group to move forward. Charles splashed a vial of water in their face, while mutttering a blessing. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jacob asked. 

“Praying,” Charles said, surprised. 

“You brought fucking holy water? What, you think that’ll help us kill vampires? You think our target’s Bela Lugosi? What a fucking waste,” Jacob said. 

“How long until we reach the caravan ambush point?” Charles asked, ignoring the comment. 

“Five minutes until the first one, but we’ve most likely missed them. If we hightail to ambush point two, we have a better chance to catch them,” Jacob said. 

Five minutes later, they found themselves by the road. Miracouslouyl, no vehicles had made tranks in the thick snow covering the road. Jacob quickly had his men set up positions, waiting patiently. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes, passed without contact. Jacob watched as the sun disappeared, and a beautiful moon appeared. 

“Nice night,” he said softly to himself. 

He continued waiting. Soon, the caravan arrived. More accurately, what was left of it. A single Red Hand, driving desperately on a moterbike. Charles fired, killing him, and the bike scraped along the road to a halt. 

“What the fuck…?” Charles asked, before he screamed. 

Within seconds, there was bloodshed. Jacob watched as his men were torn apart. Claws tore out throat, jaws tore off heads, his men were torn in half. A claw smashed into Jacob sending him tumbling along the road. As he saw the distant fireball of what he presumed what the vampire’s caravan, he was reminded tonight was a full moon. Fuck. Of course those bastards that took advantage of the growing, untamed night would be here.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago
I want a rematch.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

Sure, Bucky. Gladly.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

I encourage this rematch. But the last prompt was too easy, so we need to up the stakes (ha ha ha). This time you two must write about vampire romance. If you're a pussy, you can write about zombie romance instead.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

If you want a disturbing topic, write about WC romance. 

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

WC romance? Now you're crossing a line.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

True. That is too far. 

The horror of this topic may drive them mad.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

Now when you say zombie romance, is this between two zombies or a zombie and a human?

Because either one of those would still sound more amusing than vampire romance which usually consists of a lot of angst and brooding.

Angst. Angst everywhere.

7 years ago

Wouldn't a zombie romance be full of a lot of angst as well?

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

I would think zombie/human romance would be more of a look into a deranged mind.

The human would probably have his “beloved” chained up in a basement and keeping him or her in brains which they are probably trapping and murdering people for.

And that’s not even getting into the whole sex bit.

With two zombies, it would probably be more about exploring their “day.”

They obviously have some sort of faint memories of familiarity of each other, but never quite knowing why, so they just follow each other around seeking out brains to munch on.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

True, though...the first idea could also be the same for a vampire/human...without brains of course.

The human could keep the vampire chained up in his basement. Maybe he got lucky or some shit. Maybe he's a vampire hunter who didn't want to kill this particular vampire. I don't know.

But...the human keeps the vampire chained up in his basement at the brink of starvation, weak enough to be unable to break free from their chains, but given enough blood so they don't die. And well, you can probably guess the rest.

Eh. I don't know. I'm not good with disturbing :P

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

Have you seen Warm Bodies? Your comment opens up a world of possibilities that movie could have explored if the writers/producers had only been daring enough.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

I have vague recollections of a comedy story where a PD tracks down a necromancer who has claimed to zombify his wife, only to be found having her dead corpse strung up by a pulley system. So, could definitely go that way.

Bring it on... bitch! (Tropes are fun.)

7 years ago

I was thinking zombie/human, but I would accept zombie/zombie. I agree that this is a much better prompt than vampire romance, which is why it's the option for people who aren't man enough to handle a terrible prompt.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

You should've put this in your 'presents for mizal' thread. You got KKK's vampire story removed, so, perfect time to replace it with another.

I'm seriously impressed you managed this kind of word count in 15 minutes, and what's more, it works as a story. And one that's better and a lot more entertaining than others I've seen posted here. You really aren't human at all, are you?

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Of course not. Racists aren't people!

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

How did you come to the decision that it should be a vampire story? First thing that came to mind, or were other inferior genres suggested?

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Not sure where the idea came from, but the prompt was 'urban fantasy with vampires, only not shitty', which, lol, obviously that last part was just some kind of joke, because it isn't possible. They were originally going to have a half hour but they and the other participant decided they were too cool and tough for that. 

Bucky, I might as well point out, besides losing to Steve, also pussed out and had to be allowed to write about zombies instead due to severe vampire allergy.  

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

I know Twilight was a thing that happened, but God Christington, what the fuck kind of world do you live in where Zombies are less cancerous than Vampires!? Have you watched a media lately, lad!?

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Meh, if vampires are just written as generic monsters rabidly attacking people, it's not like there's much difference anyway. No one knows how to use the classics effectively anymore. Shitty, inexplicably trendy undead all look alike to me.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Personally, I would have went for a vampire trying to protect his human livestock from the zombie apocalypse.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Personally, I'm waiting for the vampire with the sense to just keep livestock as livestock. Cows have more blood, are happy to eat grass and can't rebel.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

In most cases I've seen where that's addressed, it's because vampires only get power from humans, or other kinds of blood aren't as nourishing, or animals don't have souls and vampires need to feed on the innocent and soul-having, because they're basically black magic monsters. Really, they can't eat animals for the same reason that Stormtroopers can't shoot straight... Well, sort of the opposite of that reason, but you understand it's mostly plot-bullshit.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

You've just described the Cullens from Twilight. I hope you're happy.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

Ew, only a bottom feeder vampire would willingly drink animal blood.

Even robbing a blood bank would be a more respectable alternative if you're one of those sissy vampires that can't get past the whole killing humans thing.

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

I can't exactly argue that zombies are being used wrong, I've never seen zombies used "right" enough to put in my two cents, but I think vampires certainly are being fucked in the ass. What happened to blood-drinking space wizards and angry Aztec Gods and floating heads with their entrails flapping around, or giant bats that hide in your house and rape everyone, and all that trippy folklore shit!? More importantly, why the fuck are demonslayers just one guy!? Whatever happened to the days when you needed 2 doctors, a priest, a lord, a cowboy, a given number of hot chicks with beating hearts, and a very dedicated solicitor to even fight one of these things!? Why is this 40-year-old philosopher with superstitions suddenly the one goddamn Batman out of all these people!?

Something I'm neither ashamed nor proud of

7 years ago

People like to hate on vampires now, but I don't think they're boring at all if you stick to Vampire Classic.

Deception, corruption, pulling strings from the shadows and utter inhumanity behind a pretty and polite mask, IMO are the more effective ways to use them as villains. Any generic monster can sprout fangs and murder somebody, I want my vampires to be pretty on the outside and rotten within. At best, they're parasites and predators disguised among their prey, something's always going to be a little off about them. 

That's vampires as villains. Vampires as protagonists or sympathetic characters, obviously that's a painful cliche now, but it's still interesting to me as a concept. Here's a normal person with a family and a job, and suddenly they've had all their physical needs and instincts replaced with something predatory and alien. Even if they tried to hold on to as much of their old life and identity as they could, they'd have to make decisions about who it was 'okay' to justify killing, and as the people they care about eventually die and are replaced with generations they have zero connection to that gets easier and easier to do. (I look at the way I feel about teenagers now and multiply that by about 10x for this effect.) 

Of course this is assuming the whole 'get bit, turn into a vampire' set up, though tbf slowly being corrupted or deliberately becoming one is more effective in other ways, just, that's more for a villain origin. And then you'd have to work out what their motivation was, because honestly the drawbacks to being a vampire would make me question the idea of most normal people finding it attractive.