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need Ideas

7 years ago

this story is at a stand still. . . help!!

"okay time to wake up Ethan." the voice was loud and irritating. Ethan covered his ears, "five more minutes!" he shouted. the speaker wasn't listening, "get up!" he was now over Ethan. Ethan looked up, only to his surprise to see a girl standing over him. "you have a very manly voice. . ." Ethan said, Ethan immediately covered his mouth when he realized that he had said that out loud. she blushed and looked down somewhat ashamed, she walked away as fast as she could to avoid talking to him any more. Ethan jumped up and started after her, "wait Sara don't go!" he yelled after her. . . . . 

what should happen next?

need Ideas

7 years ago

I assume that this is a storygame that you're working on? It's not too bad of a start, but I would work on things like structure and capitalization.

Such things are essential, y'know?

need Ideas

7 years ago

this is not a game but more of a follow along story. but yes you are right I'll work on those. . .

need Ideas

7 years ago

Oh, so this is a basically meant to be a collaborative story? I don't think this belongs here either, then..

need Ideas

7 years ago

What plot or setting or characters have you come up with, exactly?

need Ideas

7 years ago
Hush now Steve. He figured out that a thread needs a topic beyond 'I felt like making a thread' and after trial and error he even figured out that a thread about his writing belongs in the Writing Workshop. Baby steps, okay?

He can learn about elements of a story once he figures out grammar and punctuation, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

armyman, I'd recommend checking out the Grammarly Handbook linked in my profile and spending some time there before worrying about anything else.

need Ideas

7 years ago

I'm not so much worrying about grammar and punctuation as I am about the story itself. . . because you see it's easy to fix punctuation and grammar, but to create an entire world; a story about even a couple of characters is a lot harder than it might appear. 

need Ideas

7 years ago

If you have no plot, or world, or characters, you have nothing but a shitty opening and should give up and stop writing.

need Ideas

7 years ago

you didn't let me reply! : ( 

I'm in class 'ya know. so I can't reply very fast.

need Ideas

7 years ago

Apologies.

need Ideas

7 years ago
If you don't understand/don't care about the basics of communicating in the English language in written form then it doesn't actually matter how many ideas you have, you're incapable of getting them across. I mean, I'm reading your other posts in this thread where you're struggling to answer simple, direct questions, and the issues with the blurb you posted go a lot deeper than that.

Getting concepts from your head to the screen in a way that other people can make sense of them is a pretty important skill for a writer to have.

need Ideas

7 years ago

but to reply to Steve the setting is present day in a laboratory: a steel/metallic look to it. in a bunk-bed room with multiple other attendants. . .Ethan, who is the main character, is a subject of an experiment that his younger brother has put together.

need Ideas

7 years ago

Yeah, gonna need a shit ton more detail if you want any worthwhile input.

need Ideas

7 years ago

k then. . .

need Ideas

7 years ago

See, this is the point where you tell us the detail, such as "What the experiment is?", "Who the girl character is?" or "The plot".

need Ideas

7 years ago

I under stand this but I'm in the prosses of typing these elements down off of my notebook (it's taking me some time so be patient).

need Ideas

7 years ago

Hence, a more appropriate response is "Let me get that for you" or "I don't have time to tell you now, I'll show you later" rather than "K then".

need Ideas

7 years ago
I don't think he knows any of these things. I think the purpose of this thread is for other people to come up with all that stuff. I think. (I'm not really sure what the purpose of this thread is tbh)

need Ideas

7 years ago

read the post above ^

need Ideas

7 years ago
The one I replied to?

'See, this is the point where you tell us the detail, such as "What the experiment is?", "Who the girl character is?" or "The plot".'

Or the one directly above?

'Hence, a more appropriate response is "Let me get that for you" or "I don't have time to tell you now, I'll show you later" rather than "K then".'

?

If you're instead just badly communicating about your own post replying to Steve, it still doesn't explain much. But if you're actually unable to type right now for whatever reason, maybe consider coming back later, when you can. This is a forum, not a chat room. It's okay and actually a hell of a lot less annoying to just wait until you can say what you want to say all in one post.

need Ideas

7 years ago

i meant the one I made before all that.

need Ideas

7 years ago

I'm so sorry for the confusion I cause. . . indecision

need Ideas

7 years ago
'but to reply to Steve the setting is present day in a laboratory: a steel/metallic look to it. in a bunk-bed room with multiple other attendants. . .Ethan, who is the main character, is a subject of an experiment that his younger brother has put together.'

?

Even after translation, this doesn't even work as a reply to Steve's question. 'The main character is named Ethan, he is in a laboratory. There's some kind of experiment.' tells us nothing that matters and nothing anyone can give advice on.

What I'm saying here once again is that you are pretty bad at expressing yourself and that's a problem. You want help apparently but leave it as an exercise to other posters to pry out any details beyond that.

The best way to get useful feedback is to show us something we can give feedback ON. Go back to your notebook and write out a plot and try maybe writing more than one sloppy paragraph.

'A person is woken up by another person, many words are said which convey nothing' btw, is not a good way to waste your entire opening paragraph. But you have other issues beyond your actual writing right now so I guess just worry about the basics first.

need Ideas

7 years ago
The... plot?

Did you just write a single paragraph then asked for help with writing the rest of the story?

need Ideas

7 years ago

no just the next scene (like his next action/move)

need Ideas

7 years ago
To help get us all on the same page here, how about you start by telling us what you think a plot even is?

need Ideas

7 years ago

a plot is a story line,kind of "who does what" and "what goes where" thing.

need Ideas

7 years ago
So then what's the plot of this story?

need Ideas

7 years ago

I'm still typing that out I'll PM you the full "stuff" (plot)

need Ideas

7 years ago
There's no need for a PM. You can just post it here.

I mean, unless there's a twist the plot description shouldn't have much in terms of spoilers.

need Ideas

7 years ago
This isn't a story. This isn't even an idea yet. This is ... I don't know what it is, but whatever it might be, it isn't good.
Writing a story isn't a competition in which the one that types faster wins. It isn't just combining words in a way that you think makes sense, then asking others to do everything else for you.
First, learn how to write. Grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary, spelling. They aren't monsters that want to eat you in your sleep, they are necessary for being a good writer. You can't run before you learn to walk. After that, read other stories on this site. See what they have that yours doesn't. Hint: everything.

need Ideas

7 years ago

Okay. How about when he runs into the hallway, he finds her in the act of secretly taking off her human skin to reveal that she is indeed a wolf. They then have kinky furry sex while listening to the Power Rangers movie soundtrack. Roll extremely fast scrolling credits.

Seems plausible enough with the context you've provided.

need Ideas

7 years ago

holy cow that's creepy (but a good plot twist)

need Ideas

7 years ago

Please don't do that unless it actually makes sense with the story...

need Ideas

7 years ago
Pfft, since when does a story need a plot to have a plot twist?

A straight dive into furry porn would probably make as much sense as anything else he's writing...

need Ideas

7 years ago

but really to get every one on the same page this is not the whole story this is just where I got stuck. I thought giving you only this little bit, you would come up with a bunch of random scenarios that I could translate into the story(changeing the Idea slightly to fit the story).

need Ideas

7 years ago

This is all nice and well, except one little problem: What you've given us amounts to nothing at all. If you have no clew what to write about, then join the writing prompts we have here, or search for some on the internet. Writing a few sentences in which we learn nothing at all is the same as writing nothing, in my opinion.

need Ideas

7 years ago

good to know. . .I shall work on that. . .

need Ideas

7 years ago

So this is really "Fuck it, I don't have a plot. Experiments or some shit? Think something up for me.".

need Ideas

7 years ago
That would have gone over much better as an OP, tbh.

The genie needs more info to grant your wish...

7 years ago

Here's an idea, we will be much better equipped to help you if you answer these questions:

1. Who is Ethan (age, skills or talents, strengths or disabilities, equipment and items he owns, his relevance to the plot, etcetera)?

2. Who is Sara (see above)?

3. What is the general setting (fantasy world or real world, modern or historical setting, any plot character becoming king or prime minister recently, where do these two people live)?

4. What is our hero's quest (save the world, uncover a conspiracy, stay alive while disaster happens, make mountains of money, find a suitable mate and reproduce like a typical mammal)?

5. Anything not covered in 1-4 that we should know like some crazy stuff happening in Act Two?

The genie needs more info to grant your wish...

7 years ago
I think armyman got himself banned.

The genie needs more info to grant your wish...

7 years ago

But it's the thought that counts... right?

 

The genie needs more info to grant your wish...

7 years ago

As far as I know armyman isn't banned, unless someone else banned him.

Of course its also possible I banned him and forgot because all the idiots start running together at this point.

The genie needs more info to grant your wish...

7 years ago

i'm not banned just forgot about site for a little...