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I have just finished my 2nd draft. In a nutshell it's the story of a veteran suffering from PTSD who comes into the possession of a ring that bestows on him the ability to stop time. Bad guys want that ring back. Then some shit happens.

Message me if interested and I'll email you a few chapters.

Thanks in advance. Hope someone is interested.

Is it a cys?

Think it's just a regular story. I always like DEP's stuff and I'd volunteer but I'm kind of buried hopelessly, hilariously deep in other things right now. The kind of things that will require me to commit seppeku and stream it live to restore my honor if I fail. (Hopefully that will unlock an achievement worth at least 2000 points...)

Linear story, not a CYS.

Are you looking for feedback, or just general interest?

Feedback, if you please. It is a completed novella. At least, it's two drafts completed.

I'm hoping to fine tune it.

I might shoot you a PM around Friday if you're still looking for readers. I'm interested, but I also have a lot of stuff to get through over the next week. And I don't want to affirmatively offer to give feedback if I don't have the time to do it properly and in a timely manner.

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Great read. Just sent over my notes. Would make an excellent CYS if you ever wanted to convert it. ;-)

Holy shitballs, Ikiriakos. Thank you so much for your thoroughness. You have exceeded any expectations I had. I really appreciate it.

Haha You're welcome! Had a fun time doing it and looking forward to the next set of chapters. :-)

Great set of chapters again. Excellent action, plot, pacing, and dialogue. Hope you find my full feedback useful. Looking forward to the next set.

And thanks again for your prelim notes on mine. Very helpful already. :-)

Glad you like it and thanks again for your help. I appreciate constructive feedback like this. Sorry for being overzealous with the semicolons.

I'm curious how you're going to work out the Fantasy Physics for this Novella. Will Time be truly STOPPED or will it just be slowed down like in the H.G. Wells story "The New Accelerator"? I ask only because if Time is stopped, how will the protagonist see anything, since light takes time to travel? I'm just nitpicking. Sorry about that. If you want to send me some chapters, my e-mail is [email protected]  . Best of luck in your story!

It works similar to the historical example from Bayside Highschool; as shown in the documentary series 'Saved by the Bell' wherein an adolescent named Zachary Morris made use of this ability to narrate his viewpoint on various topics. Interestingly, he was a manipulative individual but never used his powers for nefarious purposes.

There are some who might beg to differ: https://youtu.be/sO5gV_vmabM

That was hilarious. But I don't know how that would differ necessarily; I said he was manipulative but never used his time stopping power for nefarious purposes.

You have me binging through all of these episodes now, btw.

Worth the effort, imo.