It's so hard being evil!
"You know, I'm not trying to be like edgy or something, because this is like, literally people's lives we're ending.. Buuut, you know if we leave the kids alive, twenty years down line.. like of some of those streaming service shows that used to exist, they might come and fucking kill us for killing their parents, their dogs, cats, etcetera."
I yap to my gang of hardcore fucking lesbian raiders. The Iron Cunts.
My way of words.
Jessica. My star vice bitch in command gives me one of those looks that she gives me when I've talked so long, that it's become a hassle for her to even want to continue to hear.
"Okay, so kill the women and children, right, Edgelord?"
I place my face into my hands. It sounds soooo fucking cringe when worded out loud like that. I have to wave my hand at her excessively just to ease the uncomfortable feeling and tingles that is permeating throughout my body like an uncomfortable scratchy sheet that has long since passed its use-by-date.
"Y-yeah... but like don't be all dramatic when you're doing it."
With that, I awkwardly shoo her off to go and carry out my loathsome orders.
Is it my fault that there's no laws anymore? No. It's the assholes who decided to turn the planet into a shit-filled toilet. I mean, it's a fucking miracle with all of the high tech missiles that flew around to crater things like an obese person's asscheek, that humans haven't gone the way of the dinosaurs. It must have been god's grace, seriously. Trying to imagine a world in which humans just don't exist is just so boring. Humans are the most interesting creatures on earth. Definitely more interesting than turtles.
We're getting sidetracked. Why are the women and children, and dogs, and cats, and pet rats being killed?
Easy. My morals have always been dubious. Getting in trouble for doing something wrong, like shoving fat Arnie down the stairs while walking behind him in a line in first grade, just because I was curious in how someone with a slight wobble would look falling down the stairs. Unfortunately, that act was way too blatant and obvious, not to mention, Christy was staring at me the entire time. Like why was she staring me at so hard? I got in trouble, detention.
However, it wasn't remorse I felt while being reprimanded, it was annoyance that I was caught doing what I did.
Thankfully, in a world where there are no laws, who cares if I am caught doing a bit of killing?
I ramble. But I move throughout the smoldering town streets. Well, what used to be a town. Cars are overturned and in flames, bodies line the streets as if greeting me in their own macabre way. It's pleasant.
After some time, I reach the floor which houses principals office. The school ended up being the last stand for this place. Did they even think of the children? I head inside, spotting two of my Iron cunts, Mickie and Janet slacking off, practically hanging off of each other's bodies, and only straightening (ha) when I round the corner and enter the peripheral. These fucking lesbians couldn't wait just a bit more before doing this..?
It's to be expected. They are lesbians. But I am not one. I'm just in charge of a raving group of gun-toting women that are all lesbians. These are truly circumstances that could only be written in fiction, or seen in an adult cartoon before people had other things to worry about, like not being shot just for the hell of it.
"O-oh, boss! We were just securing the perimeter!"
Mickie answers, she's stocky, with short cropped blonde hair. Clearly the top in this relationship.
Janet just hangs in the back, hands shoved in her pockets as she more meekly addresses me with only a nod of acknowledgement.
I sigh. I hold back the exasperation I feel by a tad. These bitches were loose cannons, with loose morals, and looser pussies from the magnitude of plastic they liked to shove in their... No. Let's not complete that. The thing is, it only really took pissing off one of these girls a bit too much for them to just shoot me in the face and grant me a new hole to decorate for my corpse. Because I certainly wouldn't be breathing out of that hole, or at all.
So, although I was the leader of the Iron Cunts, a delicate balancing act had to be followed.
"Yeah, okay. Can you two come upstairs with me..? If you aren't busy, of course."
They both nod their heads enthusiastically.
"Sure thing, boss!"
"Mhm."
And with that, my two girl bosses, and me, the main girl boss walk up the stairs of destiny. Yeah, me using 'girl boss' is more ironic than anything. I want to hate myself even more than I already do. Killing women, children, pets, the elderly, sometimes that's not enough substance to build self-resentment and hatred.
Oh, but speaking of elderly.
"We... we gave you what you wanted, so why?"
The 'mayor' but was one a mayor when his entire town was dead, or in the process of being rendered dead and obsolete. God, the name of this town was eluding my brain for some reason. I went out of my way to kill everyone here and take what I wanted, but I just for the life of me couldn't even remember the name of the town or this man.
So forgetful. Jessica usually had that information anyway.
So, I shrug.
My mind tries hard to remember a reason that Jessica gave as to why I was personally here like some bumbling grim reaper, when I could have been doing anything else. Like trying my best to look busy.
Hey. I formed this currently successful gang of lesbian raiders, I've earned days in which I can just sit in a chair and be a visual representation and figurehead of the group's ideals of fucking over those unable to defend themselves against our bloody might. Timing these things on our periods just made us fight harder, despite all of the annoying shit that came with it.
"Right... so apparently Jess decided it would be more beneficial if we just cut you out and take everything you have. Uh, mister..."
The man's face at first is shocked that his name was forgotten, despite all of the suffering he was now being made to endure. But eventually he finds an ironic humor to it all, and then, he lets out a bitter laugh.
"You don't even recall my name, do you?"
I don't.
"You don't even remember the town that you have currently reduced... to nothing, do you?"
I don't.
So embarrassing.
Mickie and Janet exchange glances that read:
'Holy shit, we're really following a sociopath here! Awesome!'
I offer a small smile in exchange for his suffering.
"That's my bad, not gonna lie. You know, we got others places we're going to do... so it kind of blends together to me."
The mayor's eyes narrow.
"Figures. The world. Many say it's lost away, but there's still room for improvement!"
Suddenly his arm which should have been restrained moves, and he's moving to actually shoot me to death! I quickly try to scramble and reach into my own pocket for my own firearm, but I am no cowboy western gunslinger, so really, it's looking like he's going to beat me to the dra--
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.... BANG.
Overkill. But hey, I still breathe. I turn to offer my thanks to Mickie and Janet.
"Phew, thanks, you two! You really saved... oh.. you guys don't even have your guns drawn. The fuck?"
Suddenly a voice that is quite familiar to me is heard.
"No, that'd be me, boss."
It's Jessica. Who still hods her smoking gun in one hand, before she holsters said weapon. Honestly, if she wanted to shoot me in the head and takeover as the leader of the Iron Cunts, she certainly could have in this instance. She was the brains, and I was the one that was apparently super lucky.
"Oh. Thanks, Jess. Really. I mean, I've responsible for many people dying over some years, but I'm a bit hypocritical that I'd rather I didn't die if I can help it." I shamelessly speak these words.
Jessica's lips curve into something resembling an amused smile.
"Yes. You are a hypocrite. Also evil. Hell awaits us both."
"Hopefully not anytime soon," I mutter. My eyes drift over to the mayor's bullet-ridden corpse. That was too close.
This needed to be addressed before I forget. I need to be stern like a mother here. Despite me being a woman still in her twenties, and absurdly beautiful and charismatic. I mean, who else could get a large group of people to commit wanton acts of destruction unto others at their mere words?
"So, those restraints were apparently not up to snuff! And also, the man still had his firearm? Do you people want me to die!? Because I almost die just now. Which would have been just karma, but fuck that! I want to breathe in this polluted air just a bit longer!"
I read them all the riot act. This is what a leader has to do. In between all of the innocents being killed, property and supplies being taken by force, really, at times, I felt more like a supervisor at a dead-end job. Having to manage adults, talk to them in stern ways, it really was a pain in the ass. But it's what you sign up for if you want to be the leader of the Iron Cunts.
One had to become an Iron Cunt.
Jessica drifts closer to me as I speak, very close, okay, too close...
Fuck. No. No. No.
I can feel her eyes on me. The weight of her stare is intense and feels very gay. It's like she wants me to know that she's eye-fucking me, or something. Unfortunately killing a bunch of people just doesn't wet the kitty for me. Sooner or later, this would have to be addressed, and maybe I'd have to give her a pity fingering.
But I put this in the back burner.
"Ugh. Let's get out of here. I want to drink."
