Non-threaded

Forums » Creative Corner » Read Thread

Take part in collaborative works, share your short stories, poems, original artwork and more.

I wrote this story myself

yesterday

Before anything is said I know this story I not the best

I wrote this story myself

yesterday

Riley is a normal 13 year old girl, but when Riley was younger her parent didn't want her so they sold her to human traffickers, Riley was still young at the time so she didn't no what was going on. It has been ten years since that happened today is her birthday and by law, slave or not she is sopposed to be going palace where they decide if she going to go to the school of villains where you are destined to lose or the school of hero where your destinated to not only kill the the villain but be rich and if your lucky have many wives but just cause you go to the school of hero does not mean you will become a hero. Hero are rare and almost 60 percent of the people who goes to the school of heros become sidekicks.

"Hey you brat are you not listening to me" I snap out my zoned out state and look down, the guard who I didn't even see come in is one of the human breeds which is the most common. The guard throw a bucket at me and with a sneer and a look of disgust and says "wash yourself, we don't want you stinking the whole palace" as I finish washing my self the guard come and throws me a new outfit it a black shirt with long sleeve probably to hide my bruises and jeans with a jacket which I put around my waist. When I get dragged outside I'm momentarily stunned since I haven't felt the sun or seen the sky in a long time, they drag me into a black black car that seems to be floating, as I step in the two other slaves step in after me, and they looked as scared as I felt l. When the black car arrived at the palace a guard escorts us inside, as me and the other two slave who named I learned to be Aaron and Mary step inside the first thing we noticed other then there was at least a million other kids here was the big stage in the middle.

I wrote this story myself

yesterday
I'm replying to this one so you can still edit.

There is potential here. Got to clean up some grammar, but the starting point of the story has a lot of potential. Don't mess it up lol. Also when she steps out, describe how the light makes her look away, describe how pillars or telephone poles or tall men momentarily eclipse the sun, and how it bursts out from behind them when you walk by. Maybe the call of a crow or something—perhaps another sound the main character has not heard in a long time. Things like that will add to the ambience.

But this is a solid start.