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One edgy poem for all those dark broody people, and one wholesome one to bring your mood up after!

________
I NEED IT
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I need it
I need it
I need it

I need it like water
It flows down my throat and nourishes me

I need it like air
It fills my lungs with life

I need it like blood
It flows through my veins and fuels every muscle

I want it
I want it
I want it

I want it like a cool sea breeze
It soothes my soul and my mind

I want it like a lover's embrace
It fills me with warmth

I want it like a movie
It entertains me for hours

Yet I don't need it
It sticks me like a thorn and drains me of blood and life

Yet I don't want it
It ruins everything I hold dear

_______
strings!
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Strings are really cool
A really useful tool
They can drag a box up a hill
They can tie sense to a fool
They can be wrapped around a reel
And they can drag a floaty out a pool!

I like strings. :A)

The 'edgy' poem isn't extremely edgy to me. In fact, I quite like it. The repetition gives it a nice rhythm in my head and the imagery is absolutely lovely. That rhythm does get interrupted by longer second lines, and the flow is sort of awkward. It's almost as if the poem can't decide what it wants to be read as.

If the repetitive lines were gone, it'd be fine. If the repetitive lines were in rhythm with the rest of the poem, it'd be great.

It is still a good poem, though. I'm excited for your contest entry.



Strings! I love string. I have this rainbow string that I like to use to make rube-goldburg machines. ^-^

thanks for the feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed the poem!

It amuses me to think both poems are about strings.

I suppose if you were a cat it could be…

Good ol’ guitar strings. I like the gold plated acoustic ones, they’re shiny and pretty.