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A place to sit back, hang out, and make monkey noises about anything you'd like.

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

Anyone have any jokes, funny stories, pictures ect?

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

Hilllaaaarious dad joke by the Prophet Muhammad:

As related by Enes b. Malik: 

Once a man came to the Prophet Muhammad and wanted to give him a ride on his camel. The Prophet replied: “We should give you a ride on a camel’s baby then.”

“But Prophet Muhammad, how can I ride on a camel’s baby?”

The Prophet replied: "Are not all camels the babies of a mother camel?”

(Abu Davud, Edeb, 92; Tirmizi, Birr, 57)

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

(• v •)

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9 years ago

*crickets*

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9 years ago

*weak applause*

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

Yes, for those of you able/willing to access YouTube.

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

Here’s a story this guy Greg told me and this incident that happened to him during his trip to the capital.

So Greg was in choir in high school and they went on some class trip to the capital to go sing for the President or some shit. Don’t really remember what the purpose was, because that’s not the important bit anyway.

The important bit is he had a share a room with two gay dudes in his class. Actually it wasn’t really known for certain at that point, but rather implied due to how they behaved, mannerism, etc. Basically, while they weren’t out of the closet, they weren’t really fooling anyone, or at least not at the school.

Greg didn’t like this idea, but he didn’t have a choice due to the teacher assigning the hotel rooms everyone was staying in. And to make matters more humorous, apparently these rooms locked after a certain time, so people couldn’t go sneaking off in the night.

Anyway, Greg told the other two that he was taking the bed and that was the end of it, and they could sleep wherever else they liked. This was agreed upon and Greg eventually fell asleep.

Sometime during the night, Greg started to feel the bed shaking and noises, he slowly woke up and saw these two dudes under the covers having sex. He immediately freaked out.

When he freaked out, they also freaked out and went running into the bathroom, meanwhile Greg began feeling sick and ran out to the balcony and puked over the side of it.

Eventually he stopped puking and made his way back inside and the other two guys were just coming out of the bathroom.

At this point he wasn’t sick anymore, but incredibly angry. They pleaded with him not to tell anyone what had happened and were even trying to give him all the money they had on them so he’d keep quiet about this.  I can only imagine they didn't want their parents to find out, since Greg pretty much said their gender preference wasn't really all that much of a secret in school.

He said it was all he could do not to kill the pair of them, but he didn’t do anything. He just yelled at them, told them to keep their money and that he was sleeping on the couch instead of the now befouled bed.

The rest of the trip was without incident, but I guess Greg was still pretty traumatized by the incident and felt he needed to tell someone. So when they came back from the capital, he told this incident to some girl because he figured she wouldn’t tell anyone.

It was all over the school by the end of the day.

While Greg did get some taunting over it, he was fortunately a big guy that had once accidentally broke someone’s neck during a wrestling match (Didn’t kill the kid, just paralyzed him and he felt so bad about it, he quit wrestling) so he didn’t get an excessive amount of ribbing. Just some occasional barbs from his buddies, but when he started getting too pissed, they quickly stopped or at least ran out of his immediate grabbing range first.

Funny stuff?

9 years ago

There's one joke that I saw on here a while ago. Candidate for CYST or something I think.

 

There was a girl who always attended Sunday School, and fell asleep every time. One day, the teacher asked her three questions. 
The first one she was asked was 'Who created the heavens and the earth?' and the boy next to her stuck her with a pin to wake her up. She jumped up, yelling 'God Almighty!' and the teacher smiled and replied with 'Very well'. The girl fell back asleep.
The next question was 'Who died on the cross to pay for your sins?' and again, the boy stuck her with a pin. She jumped up and yelled 'Jesus Christ!', glared at the boy, and fell asleep again after sitting down and receiving praise from the teacher.
Finally, the teacher asked 'What did Eve say to Adam after she bore his twenty-third child?' and the boy stuck her with a pin yet again. 
This time, the girl jumped up and yelled 'If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your arse.'

The teacher promptly fainted.

Funny stuff?

9 years ago