Forums » The Lounge » Read Thread

So we're at the sports book to watch the football games before we drive to the Grand Canyon, and this old fat guy comes up and asks me to hook his iPad up to the free wi-fi.

So sure, no problem. I get him on Google.

Five minutes later, I notice him setting in the booth next to me, and I see this girl's head bobbing up and down on his screen. So I look a little closer, cuz there's only one thing that could possibly be.

Yep. Dude's watching porn on the free wi-fi off his iPad right in the sports book.

Not sure whether to laugh or call security.

You should call security. Then, you can laugh as they haul his fat butt off to (hopefully) jail for totally breaking the law and being a generally perverted man.

Dangerwanking is a time-honored tradition.

He did ask my friend for napkins.

Not sure whether to laugh or call security.

These are not mutually exclusive.

I'm of the opinion that gross old dudes deliberately giving themselves boners in public should be illegal anyhow, because gross. Though watching porn on public wi-fi is probably also against whatever policy you have to click through to get to the wi-fi in the first place.

Not that I've ever actually bothered to read one, but I bet it's totally there.

I'm pretty sure most porn sites are blocked on free wifi. It is at my school anyway... I know that because... my friend once tried that. Or something.

School  wifi is monitored more than your average coffee shop WiFi. 

Source: I've cranked one out in the bathroom of a Starbucks. 

I've never really understood this, is surprise bathroom hepatitus really that big of a factor, or does that factor into the whole"Danger" part of the wanking?

The barista was this really hot college student and our hands bumped when she handed me my latte. Had to beat off right then and there, so I took it to the can with me. 

I would definitely call security before he whips his dick out.

Don't mind him. Everyone's got their shit to deal with, and he's just an old fat guy. He's figured it out, and he might be gross, but he's not hurting anyone... Or, he can't, I guess. As a fat old man, he's not going to outrun or outstrong anybody unless they're a kid, and you can tell from the porn that he isn't a pedophile... Unless that girl looked kinda sketchy-aged and he was a Nmelssx all along.

I dunno, I just feel really bad for him.

Public and university libraries have problems with this all the time.

Librarians in general tend to be really against computer filters and censorship. Technically speaking it’s not against the rules to watch it, but it’s obviously illegal to start whipping it out. And it’s the rare public pervert that’s just watching porn without being in the process of getting ready to do the other. 

(Come on, it isn’t like he’s watching just to make a list of plot critiques.)

But there are usually a few rules in place that curb porn at these place anyway, since universities typically have various policies which allows their libraries to say “Hey, no porn is permitted here.” and there are laws in place where some of the public libraries have to have filters on their computers.

For a senior prank a couple of years ago the screensavers for the library computers were changed to Mia Khalifa getting it from behind.

They were never actually able to do their original plan of leaving a tab open of porn on each computer along with the screensaver.

It was a pretty mild prank if you ask me.

I saw someone at the school library do this...

Worst thing; they didn't plug in their earphones all the way, so everyone could hear....

Yup. It was...funny I guess. 

Damn. If only this thread was made a few days ago.

I can see it being mentioned in the weekly review: "In the lounge, members are discussing the important issues of wanking and how old fat men can watch porn in public merely because they are old and fat. *sigh* What the hell am I doing with this article?"

Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be in the next weekly review :P