As always bringing you the UPDATED TRUTH!
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Featuring:
The New Shit
An Interview with poison_mara
Review of Quinn…The Barbarian?
A Short Story by TharaApples
Credits
The New Shit
Newbie Central - Some random noob asked for stories appropriate for 12 year olds which barely any of them are mainly because most of our stories are written by 12 year old edgelords. (Or have the mentality of a 12 year old edgelord)
The Lounge - The newest END TIMES was posted. You’re reading it, you fool.
News & Updates - Killa’s lazy ass finally did something with the site after years of sloth. Nothing really important though like implementing my invisible mode idea.
The Parlor Room - Gower’s blind play through of my stories is on hold, but obviously Gower wouldn’t forget his debts.
Creative Corner - Oh look my short story thread is at the top of the forum again. This really is a good collection.
Writing Workshop - Looks like my succubus story thread is at the top of this forum again too. Rest assured, I haven’t forgot. Stay tuned!
Reading Corner - Wow, it’s just been busy lately in the thread necromancy department. My Fighting Fantasy book reviews were a pretty good thorough look at this long running series.
Advanced Editor - Ford’s doing some autistic testing, so nothing important here as usual.
Feature Wishing Well - A great idea for once was suggested for implementing an invisible mode for admins to make sure the forums are much safer for everyone.
Bugs & Problems - Fluxion and AzBaz were bitching about unimportant shit nobody cares about like a pair of faggots.
Interview: Poison Mara AKA Anal Queen
When she’s not whipping the beta males in her sex dungeon, she’s usually here or the CYS discord misguidedly asking if something she’s writing is inappropriate or not, all the while wording it in a sexual manner.
Anyway here she is eagerly receiving my hard questions.
1. What caused you to find this place and stick around?
I think it was 2011 when I first started to read Cys games. I was starting to learn English so I never thought then making an account I only read the stories. Until Lovesick made me puke and I just for sheer luck, I discovered Cog games and forums and I made an account there. I didn't return seriously until Gower contest. And I remain here because I love writing and sharing stories, participating in contests and chatting in discord.
2. How has your transition from CoGite faggotry to CYStian superiority been going?
The forum communities styles, the way address new people is different. Both have pro and cons. Cys is a great community however, the tone and lack of politeness. Makes the first days here difficult. One that shock pass through, this is a nice place to grow as a writer, with serious feedback and multiple contests.
3. Besides me of course, what are some of your other favorite members and stories on the site?
Well, Gower is an obvious choice. I love his work. I love Shadowdrake contests entries and his Gower in a time game. Sir Osis for Cricket is hilarious.
4. What are some of your least favourite members/stories on the site?
I can go easy and talking About terrible noobs games. Like that Nibba game. or games of 43 words. But I HATE HOMO PERFECTUS SAGA I like Camelon by his style is so different from mine that I don't really have fun with his stories.
5. What are your favourite things to write about?
Sci-fi. I like dystopian societies and world-building trying to create something original while maintaining some humour spin to all stories.I also like to write small stories focus on character emotions and dialogue. I tried to do some terror but I am not good at it.
6. What are you currently writing and/or planning on writing for the future?
I am writing the epilogue right now of a fantasy western game of a woman cursed to transform into a white were cougar and eat people to keep leaving. Then a small Apocalypse game inspired by Mad Max. And some other projects that are in the planning
7. Any final thoughts before you return to your life of hardcore S&M/B&D?
I am very happy with being in this community that is helping me to grow up as a writer and learning a lot about writing and English. That and some hilarious moments. Also thanks to Discord group to support me every day.
And there you have it folks, in her own words and semi-proof that not all CoGites are complete faggots.
Review of Quinn…The Barbarian?
Well I was going to review IS’s Impregnating Europa, but the little Nazi pussied out by taking down his little ode to white supremacy.
Mizal said I should just review one of my stories which is as good of an idea as any since that’s about all I bother reading. However, I’ve talked at length about several of my stories before. Even if I haven’t necessarily said everything about them, I figure whenever Gower gets around to reading the rest, I’ll expand on stuff about them then.
So what I’m going to do is talk about a story of mine that is no longer posted and I doubt if anyone here except maybe DEP (If he ever stumbles by this) would remember.
“Quinn…The Barbarian?” was posted on IS. It was my second story posted after “Ebay Escapist.” The concept was to somewhat twist the whole idea of a conan type and making a guy who technically was a “barbarian” a loser in his tribe.
Quinn himself wasn’t really all that much of a loser in the traditional sense, he knew how to fight and all that, but his mom named him Quinn (since she was all enamored with southern civilized societies and his dad was killed on a raid before he was born) which in his tribe was a decidedly untribal name for the rest so he got mocked for it.
Anyway the setting takes place in the cold grim snowy north and you’re at the Age of Decision to pursue how you’re going to raise your status in the tribe.
In an unusual bit, I had FOUR choices right from the start. Though one of them involving “Continuing life as normal” just lead to a premature death scene. (You remain a low social status loser and one day all your enemies butcher you in the middle of the night)
One choice led to the death match path where you had to fight five rivals. One of them was very strong, another very quick, another one studied your moves, one would cheat and another wanted revenge on you.
Basically there were a few “correct” orders to pick in which to fight them. A wrong order could lead to instant death or even earlier success, but ultimately cause you to lose later. (Death)
Winning the death match results in a winning ending of you gaining the respect of the village. There was also a “most correct” order and you got even more praise.
Second major path was contacting the spirit elder for a test. This meant traveling to the burial grounds and waiting for them to talk to you. This one was mainly always a choice between waiting or to stop waiting and going back to the village. Of course the problem was the weather getting worse and you slowly getting weaker from lack of food.
Leaving early had varying results. There was a different encounter depending on the day you left. Leaving later usually resulted in death due to being weakened by lack of food and the weather.
A yeti, the wendigo, and a ghost woman are among the encounters when leaving early. The most interesting of course is the ghost woman. You can get a non-standard “happy ending” with her depending on your choices.
Sticking around to the very end, led to one of your rivals masquerading as a “tribal spirit” (The one who cheats in the death match) if you see through it, it leads to a fight and the real tribal spirits helping you out and you gaining respect of the tribe.
The final main path is just leaving the village altogether and heading south to more civilized lands. Before you do that though, you notice troll prints in the snow near the village. Since a group of trolls lurking about a community rather than attacking outright is unusual, you get the option of checking it out and possibly killing the trolls in the process.
Deciding not to do that leads to a premature ending of you just leaving, while going to fight the trolls leads to a longer path. This can have varying results depending on how far you go since you’ll eventually discover a necromancer deeper in the mountain cave.
Besides death, endings on this path can vary a bit even with an evil winning ending.
Anyway other than a couple of branches, the story in general was sort of meh. I ended up taking it down years later when I was going over my first stories. (Ebay Escapist, this one and Repression). Ebay Escapist was easy enough to expand on. It was funny, just needed more meat on it. Repression was fine, though I did feel the need to add one more short branch to it.
Quinn I couldn’t really think of what to do with it except a complete rewrite which I wasn’t planning on anytime soon. I had other fantasy settings at that point which were better, so down it went since I felt like it didn’t measure up to the standards of my other stories.
Still, I didn’t kill it completely because I didn’t dislike it. I have the whole thing on a few Word documents. Even looked through it again to write this review. Who knows it might live again some day in a better format.
Fun trivia: Quinn technically still lives on in another story or at least an alternate version of him. There’s a barbarian you can encounter in Imagination and that’s basically the “children’s version” of the character. (Like you can encounter children’s versions of a lot of characters from my past stories in that one) It’s literally the only thing still published that remains of him.
I Watch Daddy-Daughter Porn BANNED by TharaApples
BANNED
You stare at your laptop screen in muted silence. The words are slow to register to your mind, but soon the reality sinks down into the pit of your stomach. Why? It's the only word that comes to the forefront of your mind as you shoot up from your cluttered computer desk, breaths becoming shallow and uneven. Just what was the meaning behind this slight against your character? There isn't a reason that you feel is clear for your new inability to post on your favorite roleplaying mmorpg forum. It's only a matter of minutes that you're able to calm your heart so that you're able to resume your previous sitting position. As you do so, you take one glance over at what most would consider your "messy" room. Always you deemed that utter nonsense and besides, you had much bigger things to worry about at the moment than fixing things that didn't need urgent fixing at the moment.
"Banned on the forums," you suck in a breath, beginning your forray into what is hopefully the truth as you start to mash keys into your keyboard. "I'll just enter the game itself to see what's wrong," you say to yourself with a nod. It was a loss to not be able to use the forums where so many events were launched and brainstormed between the community, but as long as you had your access to the main game, such things were inconsequential.
BANNED
Time Period: 107 days
"Hyueeeeeek!" This time you are sent crashing to the ground of your room, hitting the floor headfirst without a trace of forgiving softness as you instantly clutch the back of your head and whimper like a cold dog caught in a rainshower. Unironically, that would be the best way to describe how you felt at the moment as you struggled to rock yourself into a position in which you could get back up into an upright stance without much difficulty. It takes time, but you're able to do it as both of your hands clutch the side of your desk, knuckles going white as your eyes dilate into your growing rage.
This had to be a mistake.
A huge mistake.
The only thing you can say that you're honestly guilty of is neglecting a daily shower regimen. Tears begin to form in both eyes as you lower your head, unable to cope with the oppresive feeling that is reality. Somehow, just somehow, you must have been framed into being banned. There's no listed reason! Just what the hell was going on?! Was God trying to punish you for something in your past life or something? Usually there's a reason listed, but all you can do is stand back at the unjust and inadequetly explained punishment that stands before you.
This game was all you had in your life.
Tentacle schoolgirl crusaders had qucikly became a staple in your life, and it was ripped away from you like that with was most likely the click of a single button or two on the other side. It's enough to make you go mad, and not in a way of wanting to break things, but to freely allow your mind to transform into something else. Words of revenge mumble through an incoherent stream from your lips.
"If only I was able to go inside the screen," you say finally. Head hitting the computer screen once, then twice, then thrice, and so on. You soon stop thinking as you only smash your head into the computer screen again and again. There isn't even any pain, because actually, your head is going inside the screen, not through it, with every movement of your head. You do not notice this startling fact until you get enough momentum to send not just your head through the screen, but your whole body.
The world shifts and distorts as your body rapidly descents into a world of shifting shapes and sounds. It isn't long until the world gives way to an open plain of nightime grass that you land in with minimal amounts of pain on your end. There had been enough dealing of mental pain so there's some relief on your part as you stand up to be face to face with a crimson giant flying grasshopper-like creature. The sight is enough to keep you rooted to the ground for a moment of time as it makes it's way towards you, the intentions of said creature becoming readily apparent as their movements accelarate towards you with each shortened distance.
"SIMP!" It screeches at you in English, spitting fire at you that you must practically throw yourself out of way to avoid. Hitting the grassbed of land on your stomach as the grass that you were in iginites into a great amount of fire that keeps spreading and spreading, forcing you to roll even further to avoid becoming a singed crisp.
"WHAT!?" You pathetcially scream back in your abject confusion.
"SIMP!"
"N-NOOOOOO!" You scramble quickly off of the ground and begin sprinting away from the accelerating danger, not understanding the reason as to why one of hte game's many enemies were now lifelike and realistic and wanting nothing more than to melt you down or eat you, or maybe a combination of both. Your panicked feet are eventually able to take you into the sight of a cave, which leaves a sense of relief to wash over your entire body. The entrance however is miniscule, at least compared to your form. That realization causes all relief to wash out of your body as you're forced to turn around and face your pursuer.
Curosity rises admist your fear as you ask one question to the monster.
"Simp? Why do you call me that?" The creature only stares at you as if looking at a worm. His eyes are almost like they're assessing if you're even worth having your questions answered. A long pregnant moment passes before the intimdating creature scoffs and begins speaking in a low baritone.
"I call you simp, simply because of actions of the past that you have commited. The girl that you're fond of, she is taken by a moderator of these lands that you and I inhabit."
Those words shake you to your core. Sweat begins to form from your forehead, dripping down your brow and further onward. Building blocks begin to form into pieces of things that you're able to comprehend on your own. The banning, it begins to register and make sense. There are things still unclear and muddy, but the injustice you now face is still confusing.
"But why are you trying to kill me!? She turned me down already!"
The creature roars in laughter, head tilted back to the sky before he reveals mirthful eyes full of glee and bemusement. You're already unnerved by the situation as a whole, but this new development is enough to take your feeling into new heights.
"Didn't you wish for revenge?"
And with those five uttered words, the gears began to change into a new direction. This wasn't a punishment, no, not at all. A christened golden opportunity to get back at not only that girl and her boyfriend, but so many others now that you were literally inside the very game that they enjoyed. What was once fear was now replaced with a surge of power and vengeance as it became more and more clear that this weird monster wasn't here to make any attempts on your life, but simply pulled you into this world in which you could be so much more.
This day would live in infamy.
For it would one day go down in history as the day the Simp God was birthed.
Credits
EndMaster
(And Thara and Mara for their short story and interview respectively)
