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A man walks into a barber shop and gorillas cutting manikin's hair turn towards him and look at him. Strangely, the man gets a haircut. What happens next? I need help. Make your answer as strange as possible but not rude at all, please. 

When he looks in the mirror as the gorilla is about to cut his hair, he finds that he is not himself as he remembers, but a mannequin of Elvis Presley.

When he realize that, a sudden burning sensation lighted up his left pinky. Raising it up to eye level, his eyes widen when they fell upon the fire burning heavily on his flesh. 

Where'd the fire come from? oh, that's how you spell it: "mannequin"...

Thanks guys.

You don't need to know where the fire came from, he's already turned into a plastic Elvis getting a shave from a gorilla, at this point, the fire is almost expected.

hehe, good point.

He asks for a bowl cut. One of the gorillas sets an actual bowl on his head, because that's what's in fashion, the gorilla says. As the man exits the store, he sees that the street has been replaced with a fast flowing river. Trying to cross the river, the man is stopped for jay swimming and handed a ticket written on a piece of hard taffy, but it melts in the river and the officer gets mad. The man is then let off with an extremely vague warning about ponies and handkerchiefs. Finding his way home, he sees that his house is gone...while all of the houses on the street seemed to have moved in to make up for what would have been a gap. He is then greeted by a passing hobo. The hobo initially asks for a piece of chewing gum, but revokes his request when he realizes it's Tuesday.

...

Everyone tell me that one day we will live in an abyss. We will make the abyss take on the features of hell. And so we will live in hell. But that isn't what we want. We want a place that gives us more than what we lust for. So we take off our chains, and use monkey livers to adhere plastic white angelic wings to our shoulders, and that was that.

We have create heaven. Heaven is a swell place to live in, but it is missing something. Oh yes, it's missing something not conceptable: pain. So we made pins out of leads, and leads out of metal. We stick them in our scalps that prickle our nerve system whenever we twiste in our sleeps, and so we have create pain. Pain is good, oh yes it is. It let us know the dangers heaven have poses for us. Pain is good, but over time it become nerve wreaking, and we need breaks from it.

So we gather for a clan meeting and decide that abeit all our knowledge it still isn't enough, to escape the nerve wreaking pain we have upon us. So we decide to create more of us, to help bring the clan meeting to an end. A good end. So out of us all, we pick out two healthy, young, and attractive opposite sex for procreation. The clan decide they need to use the key plus lock method. (intercourse) The man are to be the key, and the woman to be the lock. Normally the clan will have delay many days by differing of opinions, but today, it is unanimous.

Everyone want to see what will happen between the man and woman. First, the clan made both of them remove their artificial skins, or hide, (clothes). If that is what the clan want to call them. Next, the clan made the man try the key plus lock with the woman. A fail attempt that is. The male's key is too weak and flimsy to insert itself into the woman's lock. So the experiment is abort for the time being. The clan huddle together and have another tedious and meticulous discussion.

In the end, the clan decide that the key must be stronger to slide itself into the lock. Bigger to fit better into the lock. Longer to reach itself all the way into the lock's sweet depth.

So the clan pick out a man with those characteristics and made him try the key plus lock with the woman. He succeeds and everyone cheers. The clan made that man their king, and that day on, the secret of the key plus lock method is pass to everyone else.

And that's how we came to be. That's what everyone says anyway.

Hey, you said to make it as strange as possible, so I went for surreal and dreamlike.