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Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

After staring blearily at an empty white editor box for a couple minutes, I've decided to start this off by saying -- Yes, this is yet another motivational thread (an amazing idea by the way! Thank you to those who've started before me) I've had a project that has been in the works for some time now and after some snail's pace progress, am finally satisfied with the way things are going to give you guys a sneak peek! (satisfied enough to show you the first page, the rest is burning in a pile behind me but lets keep that between us.)

A fantasy world set in Amorieas, you'll get to witness and be a part of the classic war between "good" and "evil", demons and gods. There will be many paths and side paths, that you can follow. Will you sacrifice your life and body to serve the gods and stop the demons flooding into the mid-realm? Or will you refuse, strike out on your own path, and write your own story in the world?

I won't promise daily updates, but will update you guys as content flows out. This'll also be my little "command center" for all my writing needs. (grabbing interested proofreaders, and any events that may come up.)

 Enough of the boring stuff though. Here's a short (and maybe inadequate after all that build up) passage of lore that'll be in the story.

 

 

"Brother, your plan for a race of beings who inhabit the lands below is bound for disaster. The one’s who live underneath the surface are a problem enough, who’s to say these, these humans of yours would be any better?”

 

"Silence child, allow your brother to finish his thoughts. Wise is the one who holds his tongue."

 

"As I was saying , the only thing between the demons of the lower realms and our ethereal plain is the Barren Earth. It is the stepping stones to our world and it is unprotected, by the Unholy Ones. If we were to manifest onto Earth again, we risk losing our immortality, making us vulnerable and weak. But if we were to create people to protect this bridge between our realms, we would be safe, and keep our powers."

 

"But brother, how could they possibly hope to defeat the hordes of chaos without our godly powers?"

 

"I propose we give them three gifts. A Crown, therefore, they would have a leader, and not fall into disarray. Fire, so that they may create themselves weapons and tools, to rival our own. And the Guardians, so that they may have mighty generals to lead them into battle."

 

"My lord, my brother, what you fail to see is that these beings would be weaker willed, and their minds could easily be bent towards evil and chaos. Who's to say they won't turn on their very own creators when the time comes? We could not possibly trust them to help us."

 

"I believe that when the time comes, you will see that they are not as wavering as you believe. But enough bickering, my brothers and sisters in the council, now is the time to vote. Who among you stands with me in favor of humanity?"

 

And though with much hesitance, they all agreed that humanity would be the safeguard to protect them from the creatures of below. And humanity was created without the knowledge, that they would play any part in the survival of the gods.

 

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Very cool

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

It's a neat idea. I haven't seen that concept used too often.

As for the intro: Little too much As You Know. It reads like an expo dump. The idea of them arguing pros and cons of humanity is good, but the part where they talk about losing immortality and the barren earth seems like they're explaining things to each other that they should, already be aware of solely for the readers benefit.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

I tend to fall into that habit at times unfortunately. I've been making plans on giving the reader bits of information slowly as the story progresses, kind of like Eternal and its optional links; you may interact with other minor characters for more information, though you don't have to. 

Thanks for catching that though! Definitely helps to know what the readers read and what I read. 

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

I couldn't agree with Seth more, and this is a fine point that comes up in published works too. It's one of the many reasons that I absolutely cannot stand Sanderson. He loves to write out the details of how the magic / political systems of his world work in plain text like an instruction manual. I really strongly prefer to be shown and not told.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Which book in particular? I remember loving the Mistborn series to death. ^^

But yes, drawing the line between detailed writing and spoon-feeding my readers information until they're sick is something I'll keep an eye on as I bring out content. I do enjoy explanations and world building, just because I'll be able to understand more as the plot moves.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

It's mandatory that you build the world, but your reader shouldn't be spoonfed your notes, they should experience the world as if they were there. If there's a SUPER cool fact about your world that you want the reader to experience, bring the POV character into contact with it and if you can't find a way to show the POV character every detail about the cool thing, then the reader isn't meant to know every detail.

Sanderson.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Not too much in the ways of progress today. An idea spontaneously popped into my head during one of my lectures and I was able to develop it to 2 or so pages. 

Mostly going to spend today finishing up a cleaning up and organizing all of my files and paths, since they've gotten a bit disorganized, but I should be done fleshing out an epilogue and some lore before the day ends.

Also, is that link from my post clickable? Where does it take you?

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Be careful. Organization is the easiest way to procrastinate writing.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

It should take you to the next page, but it seems like you don't have it linked to another page yet, since this is what popped up.

Server Error in '/' Application.

Storygame not found.

Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

Exception Details: System.InvalidOperationException: Storygame not found.

Source Error:
 

Line 38: throw new InvalidOperationException("Storygame not found."); Line 39: } Line 40: State = StoryState.CreateFromStoryId(sid); Line 41: ChooseYourStory.Legacy.LegacyLogger.PlayGame(State.StoryId); Line 42: }


Source File: c:\Websites\ChooseYourStory\ChooseYourStory.com\Story\Viewer\Default.aspx    Line: 40

Stack Trace:
 

[InvalidOperationException: Storygame not found.] ASP.story_viewer_default_aspx.OnLoad(EventArgs e) in c:\Websites\ChooseYourStory\ChooseYourStory.com\Story\Viewer\Default.aspx:40 System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +71 System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain(Boolean includeStagesBeforeAsyncPoint, Boolean includeStagesAfterAsyncPoint) +3178


Version Information: Microsoft .NET Framework Version:4.0.30319; ASP.NET Version:4.0.30319.34249

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

It takes me to the next page. Probably since sneak preview has been turned off, it probably won't allow you to read through my story while it's still a WIP. 

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Just a small update. Managed to flesh out another path leading up to the different epilogue that's still being worked on. Along this path you do meet a possible romantic interest, though I'm still in the process of figuring out if I should add one at all, given my lack of experience with this style of writing.

Still no page updates yet, though I've hit around the 60 page mark. Planning on about 6 or 7+ different endings with 4 already drafted out. World building is still in the works for the next couple weeks. But everything is going well overall.

Amorieas -- A motivational thread

10 years ago

Well, I definitely like what you have going thus far.