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A story based around the fact: everyone's subconscious actually has their own persona 

Kid, you just made the biggest mistake on this site. Now, people are going to have a huge debate with you and it will probably lead to you leaving the site.

So, remake your post.

1. What is it about.

2.Who are the protagonist(s) and Antagonist(s).

3. Plot. What is it?

You're overreacting, Jimmy. The biggest mistake is going full retard on the forums. This wouldn't count as going full retard.

Do I have to pull up the moonstone into a game? At least Spirit had a plan first and looked how that turned out.

Spirit was different. She kept whining and insulting people.

This guy gave us far more information about his story and made it sound more interesting in his first post than Spirit did in that entire thread. Displayed a better grasp of grammar, too. Not sure what Jimmy is going on about, but I think betaband has the right idea.

Lol, what would that debate be about? (I'm just curious) 

Forget about it, it's really nothing. Give us some more details about your game. Imagine you're trying to sell the idea to a group of consumers, like an advertising. A single line won't cut it.

Yeah that's what I did. I just replied the first message first

Don't mind Jimmy, he's not important.

The story would revolve around two characters. Both of them are guys. The story takes place in an alternate reality of earth where  subconsciouses have their own persona, and if that persona is strong enough it can take over the conscious mind. This leads to several alterations in history. ( I'll explain more on that if you like ) Subconsciouses begin to systematically take over bodies, so a group is created to quell the usurpers. The group is trained to imprison their own subconscious, and if they do that that gain full control of their bodies. ( full control is something I may explain elsewhere ) The main characters are in this group, but they each have their own unique circumstances involving their subconscious. 

OK, much better. So it's an alternate Earth where everyone is basically like the Narrator/Tyler Durden from Fight Club, struggling to keep hold of their body. Are the other minds evil, or just normal? Also, please do explain the alterations in history.

Since the Subconsciouses are their own persona, they act, feel, etc. like us. That being said they ARE their own person, so being confined to the recesses of a body that's not even their own breeds resentment. So it's safe to assume that any subconscious that tries to take over a body is hostile minded. As a direct result of this... Certain leaders in history became more hostile , and conquered more.-- Explanantion of 1 change: Alexander the Great's army was taken over systematically, and they became more aggressive. But still retained their devotion to Alexander, making his army even better. His conquests spread even farther. He himself was not taken over himself ( they say eyes are the window to the soul. So what if a different soul takes over? When a subconscious takes over a body the edge of the iris turns black. I haven't figured out the logistics of it. ) , so his eyes didn't change color while his entire army's eyes were tainted black. He becomes known as Ruler of Demons. 

The next major change is Ghengis Khan. In our world he was ruthless and used whatever tactics he could to defeat his enemy. In this world it will be his downfall. Or rather his subconsciouses downfall. Like Alexander, Ghengis conquers much much more and even extends into Europe, ( even more so ) but his subconscious has been controlling him. ( At this point in history only the Chinese have discovered gun powder. It's because of Ghengis Khans campaign that it diffuses to Europe.) The subconscious hears about a coalition of European armies are coming to defeat him. And the army is even larger than his. To win he orders all gunpowder to his location. He spreads the gunpowder along the place where the battlefield is going to take place. It is a large amount of gunpowder expanding over a long distance. When the time comes, the subconscious lights the gunpowder... But something goes wrong and a massive explosion destroys nearly all of both armies. Only a small amount of Europeans remain. Due to this catastrophe a large amount of nation's armies were depleted, creating an opening for Britain to come in from the east and take over a large portion of Europe. Also due to the catastrophe, a pact is made creating a ban on ALL gunpowder so another disaster won't occur. This sets back weapon technology hundreds of years back. The story takes place after they finally taken the ban off. Several hundred years later, probably close to our time. ( Britain probably wasn't called Britain)

It seems an interesting topic, although the gunpowder incident seems a bit ridiculous. If you wanted Europe destroyed and Gunpowder weapons pushed off, there's other ways to achieve that. For example, Khan's invasion could have been brutal and slow due to heavy resistance, leading to a thoroughly pissed off and aggressive Khan razing much of the lad as he conquers, wiping out much of Europe and running his own army into the ground. Britain would also be coming into England from the West, not the east. 

Gunpowder being delayed and weapons technology being delayed could instead be something like Khan's conquest quashing the cultural group that would invent gunpowder in the first place being wiped out, and this failure to achieve such a historic and important technological milestone and a constant state of war pushed back weapons development until it was discovered, right when you start the story.

All in all, I think it's an interesting concept, and I'm curious to see what you do with it.

Lol. I meant west, I was thinking east of America. The first Khan idea is pretty good, but pushing back gunpowder would be more difficult. People tend to reach technological achievements around the same time, so chances are someone would invent regardless. At near the same time. I want the story to take place around our time, and that would only achieve at most a hundred year gap. So I guess the main problem is a way to achieve that.

Not necessarily. Gunpowder wasn't invented for warfare, it was discovered by accident while attempting to create an elixir for immortality. There was no arms race to create a chemical explosive weapon, it was a complete accident, and only then spread through the world. It wouldn't be unrealistic to think that it just wouldn't have been discovered if the Chinese hadn't done so.

In that case I doubt Khan would just crush the ethnic group that created it, seeing as it was his own people that created it. 

While I'm far from an expert on the subject, a nomadic group of Mongolians aren't the same as the Chinese they were conquering? Crushing people was kind of what Khan and his successors did. Mass slaughters were a pretty common thing, all it would take for Steve's suggestion to work out would be for them to have slaughtered even more.   

Your right. I was thinking of after Khan conquered everything. Then he interbred and the Mongolians and Chinese were basically one and the same. I'll have to look into the EXACT time gunpowder was discovered. Because if Khan knew of gunpowder as he was invading, I see him using it to his advantage rather than destroying those who created it.

'A large amount of gun powder exploding' wouldn't realistically be able to take out most of the population of Europe, or lead to gunpowder being banned by multiple nations, etc, either.

I'd find it far more believable for gunpowder just to have never been invented or never become a thing of widespread use in warfare than to have it all come down to one specific incident, with every single country having the exact same reaction to that incident. All it would take is Genghis and his armies being a little more inclined to slaughter everyone when conquering China, or the relatively small number of people who knew how to make it not being able to pass it on or their writings being lost...really any variety of things can stifle a technology or an idea and lead to it catching on or not, and not always the dramatically obvious.

If the plot isn't specifically about Genghis Khan or Alexander the Great it probably won't be necessary to go into this kind of detail about the setting's history in the story itself anyhow. If you establish that gunpowder was a late invention and weapons technology either developed slowly or took a different track in this world, readers aren't going to need an elaborate explanation as to why to accept that.  

The subconscious taking over and the significance of it I'm still not completely clear on. Does it usually only take over people who are already pretty hostile and aggressive, does it represent people giving in to their suppressed urges or what? Except the only examples given so far are of already violent and aggressive people getting funny looking eyes and not really drastically changing their behavior in any major way. ('More aggressive' is kind of a vague quantification when already dealing with a conquering army...) Though the example of Alexander's army seems to fit the 'increased hostility' theme more than the whole thing about Genghis Khan.

It depends on the person, since each subconscious has its own persona some may be hostile. It's those that feel oppressed that take over the body. So they could take over the most peaceful person, it depends on the subconscious. Like humans, the subconsciouses feel the need to survive, expand, etc. To do this a particular subconscious would find some way to trigger a change in the mind allowing the subconscious to take over. Then he/she would apply this method to people, and slowly begin to build up the subconsciouses. I haven't decided what would happen exactly, meaning how humans would see the subconsciouses. Like Alexander they could see the invasion of subconsciouses, as some group of demons possessing people. Or they could be advanced enough to know Goethe mind actually works. Their behavior would change of those who feel oppressed. This is huge. Look at any rebellion ever. American Revolution, French Revolution, all of the Latin American Revolutions. Even something like equality movements. Except the equality movements had peaceful elements, this wouldn't, because the very act of taking over the conscious mind is violent. 

I'll work on the gunpowder thing, it still a young idea with many things to work on.

The first thing I thought of was that this reminded me of the R rated sci fi version of Inside Out. :P

Sounds like you've got the background all worked out, but have you given any thought to how it will play out as an actual CYOA? Will you be able to play as either character, and is there any conflict beyond dealing with their subconscious?

I'm thinking either character, and I'm still working out the conflict beyond that.