4/1/2023

9/12/2025 5:28 PM

371

2

1 win / 2 losses

Architect

“This is the ending all stories must eventually reach:
silence around an empty stage.”

—Unknown

Lazarus Cage

They want to keep you bound in the dark, but you won't let them. You will get out, fight and flee, fail and die, then try again and again...

Nautilus

Grudges must always be the first to die when a storm arrives.

After years away you return home to your dying father, but will you be able to get your brother to forgive you for leaving? And will you step up to the challenge to inherit your father's most prized possession?

Written as part of the 2023 Spring/Summer Contest: Gone Fishin' it is a game with a much bigger focus on story than gameplay, but still there is a decent amount of endings and variation for something this short.

LOL I heard you guys had trouble following the prompt last time, but if that is what you were given this time it must’ve been really bad. Anyway, about Story A: If I need to google whether the holiday used is actually a thing I don’t think it’s a good one to use as a way to make up for not following the prompt previously. Still I appreciate the creativity and at least it’s more unique than, I don’t know, Christmas (wink wink). Unfortunately not that much happens for most of the story with almost half of it being travel, and sightseeing. This is even more of a problem when a significant part of what was established about our protagonist, which is the only thing that makes that half not pointless, is contradicted in the second half. Now it’s not entirely unbelievable that someone’s beliefs might lose out to basic survival instincts once the thing they believe in actually comes true, but there was no explanation for the protagonist’s resistance to abduction contradicting his wishes to be abducted at the beginning. Maybe having them witness aliens actively attacking as a catalyst to change his mind could have smoothed out the transition. I liked the “I don’t like this holiday anymore.” line as a way to end it, but ending it just as it was getting interesting kind of cancels that out. An unfortunate byproduct of wasting paragraphs for travel and anal probing jokes. Alternatively one could fix most issues by changing the protagonist from a UFO enthusiast travelling from afar to a “non-believer” local. That way we can skip the journey and establish the place in fewer words, leaving more space for the actual event. Also that way would remove the contradiction in characterization and make the twist a bit more impactful from the main character’s point of view. Meanwhile Story B: Congrats on taking the path of least resistance in terms of the prompt, and then continuing down that path with a never before seen story of an axe-wielding serial killer attacking random strangers in the woods. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s a reason this is such a well established trope. It works as a decent framework for easy thrills, and you get bonus points for our victims actually having a reason to be out in the woods, but you make them being there make so much sense that it in turn makes the killer look like an absolute moron between openly attacking three people at once, two of which are young and fit to defend themselves, and doing so in broad daylight. Aside from that it’s a solid story, and starting it at the end as a teaser before going back in time works well in building suspense for this kind of thing. My only real gripe would be that one single line of dialogue that almost gave me whiplash, but I can tell that you were bouncing from the word count limit, which is probably why that’s a thing. Overall I did like both stories in a sense that it wasn’t a waste of 10 minutes to read them, but Story B had fewer issues that impacted enjoyment so that’s where my vote goes. A gets bonus points for the idea, but sadly fell a bit short in its execution.

Since my post was rather vague I do intend to join. Also as much as we appreciate the effort put in don't overwork yourself for our sake.

That sounds fun

I love that dopamine hit from a meaningless number on my profile going up. Thanks and once again congratulations on your newfound power.

Hey, no kinkshaming. Not all of us can see uteruses wherever we look.

Intentionally held off on reading other people's responses to avoid coloring my impressions, which can easily happen with a Rorschach. 1. A demon or devil of some sort with his hands raised 2. Two bears high-fiving, and I'm not just saying that in reference to that one game 3. A pair of mirrored otters climbing 4. A person emerging from the fog 5. A hamster 6. A gate with 3 animal faces (more specifically a Crow's, a Panther's and a Spider's) 7. A sword shoved up a boar's ass Also yeah congrats on getting a paper that makes you licensed to tell people how fucked up they are and get paid for it.

Congrats to Mystic and Will. May their rule be long and just.

There will always be a free seat at the table for whenever you wish to return to the righteous side. Meanwhile the Bored shall not forget your contributions. o7

Technically there already are guaranteed rewards since you get points and possibly commendations for rating and reviewing games. Not sure what else could be offered.