DBNB, The Apprentice Scrivener

Member Since


Last Activity

6/1/2023 12:59 AM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

108 wins / 92 losses





“Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”—Steve Martin










Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Rated 87.5% of all Stories


99 Problems but a Girl Ain't One

Samson, the biblical hero of great strength, seemingly had much going for him.  He was strong, had women, and could even kill 1000 men with only the jawbone of a donkey for a weapon.  However, in the biblical account, Samson is betrayed by Delilah, and ends up blind and imprisoned before his heroic death.  Could he have chosen a different path? Or was the path he chose the best one available. You get to choose. 

This storygame was created as an entry for EndMaster's Myth & Religion Contest

Recent Posts

Gone Fishin' Contest discussion on 5/26/2023 10:53:01 AM

...From the Whale's point of view?

Friday Night Questionnaire 2 on 5/19/2023 4:09:51 PM


Begging for Life 2 on 5/15/2023 7:44:22 PM

Lol, fag.

1. get optifine
2. go into your file explorer and, in the address bar, type %appdata%
3. click into your .minecraft folder
4. check to see there should be a shaderpacks folder in there
5. if there is, download whatever shader you want for the minecraft version you're running
6. put the zipped shader folder into your .minecraft/shaderpacks/ folder
7. run minecraft
8. load into a world
9. hit esc key
10. there should be a shaders button visible or under video settings
11. pick the shader you want to use from the menu
12. hit esc again and it should apply to your gameplay now
13. enjoy :)

Sentinel's ULTIMATE CYSTIAN LOVE COMPENDIUM on 5/14/2023 12:04:46 AM

Nice satire. 

THUNDERDOME on 5/12/2023 11:10:16 AM

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug"

-Rick James



THUNDERDOME on 5/12/2023 10:23:57 AM

All y'all are cutting is line.  

Thunderdome 4: Wizzy vs Ace on 5/9/2023 5:06:30 PM

Both stories were enjoyable and written fairly well, but here are my thoughts on them individually:

Story A:

I liked the way the beginning started with dialogue and placed the reader in the story without a lot of ramp up.  But this story seemed unfinished to me, and ended just when I was starting to get into it.  Perhaps that was intentional, but in the end it did not give me enough story to really get enjoyment out of it.  Also, the overall objective of this attack/battle is unclear which caused me to not really get invested enough into whether it was successful or not.  Based upon word count there was availability to further develop either Red's character or the mission objectives so I had something to care about in this story, but ultimately it left me fairly indifferent.

Story B:

I liked that much of the story was shown through dialogue, and I really enjoyed the bickering among the team members to help demonstrate their personalities.  The part where Knives and the sniper were going back and forth about how they never miss seemed a bit clunky and contrived, but I thought the characters were well developed for this length of story.  The action was done well, and did not bog down the story with too many details.  Overall, nice job.

My Vote is for STORY B

Thunderdome 4: axxius vs anthraxus on 5/9/2023 11:33:54 AM

So here it is:

Story A:

Not bad, but had some spelling and grammar issues. The story did not really draw me in, and I was distracted by the use of character names from Homer, and that for some reason the author here wanted to shorten them into nick names.  I liked the concept of an attack on an Imperial base and that the author actually put the phrase, "May the Force be with you," into the story (since this prompt was issued in honor of may the 4th). Perhaps I'm tired when reading this, but for me this story felt very action heavy which left the characters less developed.  Overall, not too bad for fan fic.\

Story B:

I liked the way that the story began with an imaginary battle being portrayed as real.  Using Ewoks was a nice touch.  Some spelling and grammar, as with the other story in this duel. I liked the main character and thought he was pretty well developed, and I enjoyed how he was portrayed playing dress up as a favorite character. His adventure was entertaining and I enjoyed reading it.

Vote is for STORY B

Thunderdome 3: The night of the living mizal on 5/2/2023 12:33:15 PM

Does the fact that you dont remember actually mean that you didnt write this though?

Thunderdome 3 Petros vs Peng on 5/2/2023 12:05:12 PM

Story A:

Nicely done, and I really liked the use of the Native American skinwalker in the story.  I thought this story was pretty well written (as all of them seemed to be this round).  There is a definite atmosphere of creepiness that seems to slowly develop throughout the story.  Solid characterization.  I enjoyed reading this one.

Story B:

This started out good, and I liked the fake by putting the dog in the story. When the mom stated she was going to go thaw out some meat, I expected the dog to be a part of that.  Weirdly, I did get some Hannibal Lector vibes when reading about the toast at the beginning of the story - so nice there.  However, the discovery of the body just seemed to fall flat for me, and the story just didnt have the shock value that finding a body in the freezer should have. Also, the main character is casually unconcerned about his mom finding this one minute, and then is so you better not tell anyone the next, and that didnt really fit for me.


Both nice stories, but in the end my Vote is for Story A.