A Man to the Slaughter

It’s never impressive to read a story that has four sentences, then one link, then you end the game. It is nice to have different choices and options on the first page, but an ending that quickly, without any kind of warning is really just kind of pointless. At the very least (and I do mean least), you could have added a hint in that first four sentences to indicate that making the wrong choice here will lead to instant death. But if you’re that interested in ending the story, you might as well have put the End Game link on the first page so people can get their free point without even having to click a single link.

Later in the story, when it appears you actually have an option, there are two identical options (to run outside). Strangely enough, one of those options ends the game while the other does not! That really doesn’t make a lot of sense, either. But I suppose a story with genetically modified attacking cows isn’t really supposed to make sense.

Overall, this really isn’t a good story. Beyond the fact that there’s no story here, there are many punctuation errors, sentence fragments, and missing capital letters. I can’t really see why this story was written. On the other hand, the idea here could be worked into something much more effective, but that’s going to take quite a bit of work starting from what exists in this part of the story.

Very interesting...

The intial plot of the story is pretty strange. Apparantly a bunch of cows being cloned at a slaughterhouse facility turn on the Humans and wreck havoc. I haven't seen a single story here like it, so the originality is very fresh. However, it has its faults...

First of all, the grammar was a minor issue, minor yes, but still an issue. It wasn't as big as some of the other low-quality and/or not-famous works of this site, and it was as simple as the occasional forgetting to capitilaize, punctuation, etc.

Second of all, you could've worked the story out better. Its a very original piece to this site, nothing like a BerkaZerka "Surrvev teh zumbehz", or a Warrior Cats ripoff that you would occasionally see with the low stars (seriously though, what's with all the hype about Warrior Cats? There's like 10 of them here!). As for this one, we could've seen a more of an RPG-ish or Sandbox-ish storygameplay here, but it felt very limited as there weren't many destinations or items to use. Adding to this, the story could've been better written out and have more of a detailed texture.

Third of all, and this isn't much of anything, but I noticed towards the end, if/when you join up with the cows, there is a "death gimmick" which is "...but for now this is THE END." I noticed how you didn't do this for any of the other deaths previously. So, if you are going to add the "THE END" gimmick, it HAS to be for all deaths! Otherwise it'll give a less of an experience for the reader.

Tacking with this, is the fact of the random deaths. Seriously? If you join the SWAT, (as an example), this is death reason: "oh, you killed some cows, but some cows killed you. 1o1 skrub!" (not an actual quote.) Really? Since where/when did a bunch of random cows come up to me? Wasn't I already pwning them? How could they have killed me? The deaths in this game aren't really that explained. They can be kind of random. However, some of them are (sort of) realistic. For example, if you start and then proceed to run straightaway to the gates, you die. I guess this kind of makes sense considering you're bare-handed, but even if later you get a weapon and then run to the gates you STILL die?(!) ...Why?

As a little side-comment, is there anyway to beat this? I can't find an ending where you join up with the SWAT/Humans, its only with the cows and plus you die if you join them. It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice... or maybe there is a way to win, its just that I haven't been playing as much as I should be...

4/8.

the best game you will ever play

asaq

The premise of this game is basically a vegan revenge fantasy of cows murdering all the meat eaters and eating them. Why are cows eating me? they're herbivores they don't eat meat! Why am I given two options to commit suicide?

The deck is stacked against you and the only way I can see for you to survive is to join the cows that are trying to kill you even though you just mowed some of them down with a machine gun and threw grenades at them.

I know this story is supposed to be funny, but I'm mad that there isn't a path where I can go all John Wick on these stupid cows and destroy them. Instead, we're treated to a story with dumb item usage none of which work so they're useless.

I'm mad that I have to join the Chik Fil A mascots just to win and that the FBI can't kill some cows! Let me do something cool other than die to cows or join them, this game was not fun and it disappointed me. Original does not equal good.

i immedietly died first time oops

Well, an interesting story to be frank.

Perhaps the plot could be fleshed out a little, there are close to no backstory to why the cows are being slaughtered and why they revolted. I understand that this is plain to see, but stating this will 1. clear up any mistakes or errors in understanding, 2. give your story more substance. If a story like yours depends on the sole imagination of the Player, then it won't be fun.
All that being said, not a bad effort.

Haha very funny

There are so many mistakes in here. You really need to go back and proofread. The plot wasn’t great either, it was super boring, and didn’t make much sense at all.

I will keep this brief:
- Capitalize your sentences
- Use better grammar, such as on the first page when you used “their” you should have in fact used “they're”
- Spend more time on it