Atramentous

Amazing story with a very interesting and unique concept, plus excellently written to boot.

Atramentous was a relatively short story, yet it was full of thought provoking and fascinating ideas. Short and bittersweet. This is one of those rare gems in CYS which is true to its horror category and is actually scary.

As well as the masterfully written first person (which is another thing that stood out) prose, this game made good use of interactive fiction and provided very different outcomes. The endings that were similar had just enough differences and made sense regarding your choices.

My one complaint is that this storygame could have done with some more proofreading, as I noticed a few spelling errors.

Great stuff, and feature worthy, in my opinion. I don't know how this storygame is rated lower than 6. I look forward to more stories from you in the future. I'm about to go read Dispiteous right now.

8/8

As soon as I went through pretty much all the endings of this storygame, my first, immediate thought was:

"Holy Crap."

The writing was just amazing. I loved the descriptions, how you felt like the girl in the story. The setting was deep, twisted, and full of mystery. I was immersed by the first two pages I read of this story. The grammar was great, with no/little mistakes, and the writing felt like you were actually there. I also loved how you gradually learn who you are, through the descriptions and different options. This is a true, psychological horror, something I have not seen at all at this site. I truly loved this.

I loved how the author captured the protaganist's "monster", the voice in her head. Showing it as a living person, just like someone with a real psychological disorder, such as the girl from this storygame. You can fight your twisted side, or live with it. This made me feel like someone with shiznophrenia, antisocial-personality-disorder (ASPD) or another mental problem.

Unlike many, I did not have a problem at all with the lack of knowledge as to what's going on in the story. Instead of being confused, and angrily asking the author "What's this!? Who's She!? What am I here for!? Blahblahblah!?", I felt this contributed to the whole mystique and vagueness of it all. I feel as though these types of stories don't really need such a large backstory/plot, unlike other greats out there like Necromancer by EndMaster or Dead Man Walking by BerkaZerka. You play as the mind of a troubled girl, with a troubled past, and a troubled alter ego. Psychological horror-mystery at its finest on this site, IMO.

It appears that there are two types of people who would look at this story: People like me, who will love the writing and appearence. However, I believe most will dismiss it to be way too broad, unclear, ambiguous, and as Malkalack puts it, not making any coherent sense.

My only complaint would be the length of it. It is very short. If you increased it I would rank it way higher.

6/8. Would have rated higher if it was longer, but nonetheless I absolutely loved this story. I hope the author makes more of these mysterious psychosis-like stories!

This was excellently written with great descriptions, great atmosphere, and nary a grammatical or spelling mistake anywhere to be found.

That being said, I feel that this type of game will strongly appeal to some people while others will find it too vague and overdramatic to be compelling. I personally enjoyed it - I found that the lack of knowledge about what was actually going on added to the feeling of darkness and psychosis. However, the lack of context will probably jar a lot of people and might prevent them from enjoying it. If you could insinuate some context into this story, even if it's only in the story summary, that might help more people enjoy the game.

Although, if you wanted to leave it entirely up to reader interpretation, that's fine too. This story felt more like an exploration of the stream of consciousness than an actual plot, so readers that are focused around what happens next are bound to be disappointed while the ones that enjoy projecting their own interpretations onto the story are more likely to enjoy it.

Interesting premise, but far too short. Waste of time.

not the best

I came in expecting a lot from skimming the featured reviews and ended up did all the paths. That was really good and descriptive.

It's to short

Not a whole lot to it. It was way too short and ended too abruptly, opinion.

Could've used more branching, but this was really well written and drew me in immediately. I'm glad you resisted the urge to go into detailed backstory or anything like that; everything that's happening is clearly described, and everything else involves just enough hints to pique the interest and get the reader paying attention.

I never did find out what the secret was, and as far as I saw that wasn't possible, but I did get the girl rescued at the end.

More please!