Player Comments on Gaiety and Sorrow

- - Quick Review - -
I am thoroughly impressed. I love this story, one of the few stories I’ve ever given an 8/8 to and man it really deserves it. If you’re considering reading this, please do. Play it like a storygame, make the decisions you want to, and you’ll have a lot of fun. I especially recommend if you’re into gayness, depressed-ness, are depressed, are gay, like adventure, like knights, don’t mind slightly disturbing violence, and/or just really appreciate a well-written story. This story is a great prequel to the Gay and Depressed series, as it has very much gay and very much depressed. Thank you for your storygame Fresh. Also, for anyone who is going on to read the part of my review that contains spoilers I apologize for the disorganized manner of this review, but I hope you can still get something out of it!

SPOILERS BELOW! BEWARE! I HEAR THEY STEAL YOUR SOCKS…

- - Highlights - -
Can I just talk about the cover art to start off with? I mean, perfect to portray this story. You have Princess Delaney on the dark, gloomy, daunting Otothoev side and then you have Sir Channing on the bright, warm, welcoming side. Everything from the ominous birds to the sunlit clouds is so perfect.
The first paragraph is such an elegant and perfect way to set the scene. Even from “town square” I start picturing this bustling environment. Then as it continues I get more juicy details about the chaotic sights and sounds, the feeling in the air, it’s beautiful. This does a great job of sucking me right into the story— very well done!

Then in the second paragraph we meet the main protagonist— Sir Channing. Again, such incredible detail, yet not to the point where it bores the reader.
The simple dialogue of the children in the beginning is so realistic. It also provides a bit of foreshadowing to things the reader learns later in the story. Their squabble is such an entertaining mix of deep, cute, funny, and real.
Then as the dialogue continues with the citizens of Thigomosat, the reader learns even more about Sir Channing, providing spectacular characterization right off the bat. I also like the point the author makes on this same page that the less people know about someone, the more amazed they are by them.
Such incredible detail, such a relatable and realistic protagonist that is so easy to feel connected to.

The attention to detail is so spot on in this story! The following are a butt-ton of quotes from the story that I thought were really great descriptors, please keep in mind that there are many, many more. “King Henrik met them promptly, offering a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.” “Sir Raevyn’s knuckles whitened as he clenched them,” “As the horses plodded homeward, ribs visible under matted fur,” “As the throne room doors loom ahead, Sir Channing’s steps slow, the weight of his indecision pulling him back,” “His fingers grip the hilt of his sword— an old habit, a soldier’s prayer.” “His posture is the picture of ease, yet his fingers clutch the reins with a white-knuckled grip.” “The soft rustle of leaves in a gentle wind breaks the eerie quiet, the only sound in this desolate place.” “The refugees shrink back, uncertain and frightened, while the boy clutches a faded toy— a wooden sword, half-broken, symbolic of dreams once held.” “The water flows steadily, indifferent to the chaos around it.” “Bodies fall like leaves from a dying tree.” “Horses paw at the ground impatiently, mirroring the growing tension among the knights.” “His fingers flex at his sides, tension coiling through his stance.”

I appreciated how quickly the author presented the conflict of the story. It can be easy sometimes to get side tracked in long stories like these and take a hot second to describe every little thing going on beforehand, but this story does not do that, which made this story a very engaging read.

The subtle change in verb tense to talk about flashbacks was noticeable and helpful. The author clearly understands the importance of maintaining the same tense throughout the whole story except to do these flashbacks, which takes a lot of effort and it really reflects in the quality of this storygame.

Time for my rant about Sir Channing! As the main protagonist, Sir Channing gets a lot of attention. Depending on the path, his personality can vary a little, but at his core Sir Channing is strong-willed, strong, tough, hardened, wise, and loyal. He keeps the best interests of the kingdom at the top of his list, but usually if it’s himself or the kingdom he’ll choose himself. Also, he is actually a she, which is an interesting character point. The author portrays this fact like a pro, using the she/her pronouns and removing the “Sir” from Sir Channing when she comes out to be a girl to other characters in the story, but more on that later. Sir Channing also struggles with major internal conflict throughout the story, which I’ll also cover more later. The author of this story did perfectly in everything she did to develop this main protagonist, which made the storygame all that much better and easier to connect to.

On the page “Dreaming.” I love how the author describes a dream how many people likely think of dreams before going the complete opposite direction with descriptions about Sir Channing having nightmares that are highly contrary to the previous description. This not only emphasized the horrors Sir Channing sees in his sleep, but subtly creates a sense of Sir Channing’s unique background and helps characterize him. It also foreshadows the trials he may face later on. The last sentence on that page is also so deep, so perfect.

On the page “The waking world.” it’s super realistic how Sir Channing is super jumpy after the nightmare. I can remember several nights I’ve woken up like that, and the author really nailed the description of how that feels and I really appreciated that. “They stay.” It’s so vivid and real, very well-done.

The first sentence on “A restless mind.” is spectacular. It drew me in and also feels like something people would quote from a famous general or something, which is cool since Sir Channing is a knight after all.

I also liked how in the peace path the author didn’t dwell too much on the actual sending of the peace offerings. She gave just the perfect amount of detail— too much would’ve bored the reader and been irrelevant since Sir Channing was relatively uninvolved, but too little would’ve made the reader feel as though they had missed a major event. Perfectly executed.

The way the author sets the reader up for choices is crafty and helpful. She presents the weight of the decision as well as reasons for each option through the way Sir Channing sees them, which is not only really cool but makes the storygame more fun and helps the reader feel very connected; it also gives the reader a solid base on which to make the choice.

“If King Thom never produces a son, the title will go to his nephew, Sir Darwin— a man Sir Channing trusts above all others, loves like a brother, and cannot imagine betraying.” The foreshadowing in this sentence is so weighty, and I really appreciated that it got to be its own paragraph. Another thing about this sentence that was very artistic and truly shows attention to detail is the order of Sir Channing’s descriptions of who Sir Darwin is to Sir Channing; by putting them in the order “… trusts above all others, loves like a brother, and cannot imagine betraying,” the author makes this a cohesive statement that flows nicely and puts proper emphasis on each one.

King Thom is also characterized very strongly. The first time he’s introduced the reader gets a very detailed visual description that also hints at his character. Later on his character continues to develop, and the reader sees him as Sir Channing does: a calm, wise ruler despite being on the younger side for a king, who is very good-hearted and is always interested in what’s best for the kingdom. The foil character of his is King Henrik— a brutal, stubborn, greedy king who is very selfish and quick to anger and even quicker to punish. Of course, depending on the path King Thom’s demeanor can change throughout the story, but at his core he’s a good ruler and a friend to Sir Channing.
The vocabulary in this story is strong, but not to the point where an intermediate reader would struggle to read this story.

Sir Channing’s bond with King Thom in the paths that stick to that bond is truly beautiful. This bond allows Sir Channing to have influence over the kingdom’s decisions, which in turn help provide the reader with these choices to make. It’s interesting how King Thom had taken on Sir Channing almost like a son.

The language in this story is dramatic, slightly old-styled, and eloquent, yet not to an excessive degree. It’s the perfect balance of professional sounding words and statements and things that feel like a real human being would still say them. Also the fact that Sir Channing talks in this way tracks when thinking back to the fact that he used to be a scribe’s apprentice, so it fit well with the lore as well.

The way the very important lore of Sir Channing actually being a girl was dropped was executed well. It isn’t brought about too suddenly, but also not in such a casual manner that it feels like a serious piece of lore was just glazed over. The reader sees a little background of how Sir Channing actually became Sir Channing, and the story makes sense and feels like a thing that really could’ve happened back in the day. Of course, this is a fantasy world and not just medieval, but still.

The page “In war, there are no winners.” as a whole is very deep. The reader gets a beautiful and painfully painted picture of the internal conflict Sir Channing faces within himself. It’s so emotional, so real you could touch it; it’s amazing, what the reader learns of Sir Channing’s past and how he actually feels as he copes with it. It’s so hard keeping so many covers up; he covers a girl with a man, a terrified and grieving orphan with a brave knight.

The last couple sentences on “A restless mind.” are so good. “King Thom looks upon the broken man with deadened eyes and gives no speech, no decree. Just a single nod to his captain of arms, and then walks inside. … When a hand is extended in peace and the fingers are cut off, there is no second offering. … War is the only language left they’ll understand.” The anger, the betrayal— ugh, I love it so much. I can just picture King Thom and Sir Channing getting their grim game faces on and tilting their heads at such an angle that a small shadow of rage comes over the tops of their faces.

I like that the author made it a choice in the peace path to choose to either crusade or burn the fields. This choice was nice after a pretty linear stretch, plus was just a fun decision to make. The knights Sir Loren and Sir Darwin both present their cases well, and the author clearly presents information as to why Sir Raevyn’s idea is not an option.

I love the “Crusade.” scene. It’s eerily detailed, and builds a certain sense of dread about what’s going on and what’ll happen. It’s easy to feel the uneasiness in the group of knights from the dialogue and descriptions. I was very shocked to learn that Otothoev has a coven of mistresses in the dark magics as an army, and I think that was a great plot twist. Such a terrifying, action-packed way for that path to end.

On the page “Hypocrite.” the reader gets to know a lot about Sir Channing and his struggles. Sir Channing’s inner conflicts from his past come to a climax when he’s forced to choose to bring the same terror he’s been fighting for years upon others. More importantly however, the reader gets to see Sir Channing’s relationship with Sir Darwin. Of course, it’s not a lover type relationship, and I really appreciate that the author didn’t try to force that for two reasons. One, it would ruin the brotherly friend type thing they’ve got going on. Two, it wouldn’t technically be gay.

Sir Darwin, Raevyn, and Loren are all characterized very strongly. Sir Darwin is a younger, more dauntless knight who seeks adventure, effectiveness, and glory with little thought to the long-term consequences; yet he’s a good friend to Sir Channing and they have a strong (slightly childish at times) bond. Sir Raevyn is a little more serious than Sir Darwin, yet less so than Sir Loren. Sir Raevyn’s intentions are to cause a great impact in the most efficient and strategic way possible, and he thinks somewhat of the results in the long-run. Sir Loren is the most seasoned and the wisest of the group, taking everything much more seriously. He cares the most deeply of the group about honor, morality, and respect and really wants to do things the “normal” way of just fighting a straightforward battle as nights instead of some convoluted plan. They are mainly characterized by their dialogue, but there are also nice little descriptions of their demeanor throughout.

Speaking of dialogue, wow! The dialogue in this story really adds to the action, and makes this story super engaging. Not only that, it really helps the author depict characters without droning on about tiny things by explicitly stating them. This storygame has a perfect mix of dialogue and description that’s impressive and enjoyable.

Sir Channing having a sort of panic attack after burning the field was an incredible scene. The drama, the emotion— I can hear the labored breathing, the hard beating of his heart. I can see his fear-frozen face as the light of the fire illuminates the horror that Sir Channing tried to keep in the deep dark depths of his soul. Such a powerful scene!

I love the statement at the bottom of “Ride on.”— it reads, “No one should call them heroes for this.” Even though the other knights are taking joy in their small victory, Sir Channing just cannot do that because of his past. It’s impossible for Sir Channing to consider inflicting the pain from his past onto someone else a victory, even though it was the only path and even though they had good reason. So this statement at the bottom of the page encapsulates that beautifully.

An interesting interaction in this story is that between Sir Channing and the refugees. It’s such a difficult choice for Sir Channing— between loyalty and increasing the likelihood of success and sidetracking their mission to help the refugees in a situation he’s been in before. Such a touching little glimpse of Sir Channing’s character and inner struggle.

The battle scene on “In the distance, a sound.” Is remarkable. Action-packed, heavily descriptive, very fun to read. I felt like I was right there alongside Sir Channing throughout the whole fight, and it was a very exciting experience. Sir Raevyn laughing through the wild and disorganized nature of the battle, Sir Channing guiltily taking out rebels in his swift, merciful, and calculated manner. Then there’s Sir Loren, precise and easygoing, not getting too wrapped up in the craziness of the fight. Then when the rebels reach the refugees, something shifts in the air. The refugees are all taken out by the red-blinded and idiotic rebels, and the knights can do nothing to stop them. The description of their deaths is brutal— I shivered when I read about the bodies dropping, the horrible screams, their distressed expressions. Very good writing.

The second sentence on “Focus on the mission.” is so powerful: “It is a moment frozen in time, a reflection of all the things Sir Channing wishes he could have been, or could still be, were it not for the weight of his armor and the unyielding demands of duty.” This sentence does a lot of things. One, it shows why it is so hard for Sir Channing to make the decision to focus on the mission by showing the connection Sir Channing has made from his past to the young refugee boy’s situation. Another thing is it highlights the reason why Sir Channing pretty well lucked out of staying like that frightened, lost, helpless boy. The other thing it does is show why Sir Channing’s knighthood means so much to him, more so than many other knights.

Also on the “Focus on the mission.” page, it was interesting to see the other knights stand against Sir Channing for the first time in this path. It’s clear that these knights are not just followers with ideas— they are wise, hardened leaders with their own values and morals that they stand by, even when it means going against the knight who’s pretty well in charge.

The death of Sir Darwin and King Thom on “Next.” was so terrible and sad. The way the author describes it is so beautifully: “No king. No heir. Just a corpse that once laughed too loudly, flirted too recklessly, and followed Sir Channing to the edge of damnation without a second thought.” This statement is incredible, because a lot of times when characters die in books or even when people die in real life it doesn’t really fully hit you until you think about who they were, which is when you start thinking about how attached you were to them, or how they didn’t deserve to die; that’s when it really hits home, and Fresh portrayed that perfectly. Then at the bottom of the page it continues to be so emotional, with “… he wishes Sir Darwin hadn’t died frowning. He’d always liked to smile.” Genuinely cried from reading this page!

Ugh, Sir Darwin’s death is so sad! The author did such an incredible job of making the reader feel the loss with Sir Channing’s moment at Sir Darwin’s grave. So emotional, so painful— yet I love it and it’s super well-written. Then Sir Channing’s wishing he could go back and change something, it’s an interesting thing to write about on a storygame, since the reader knows that they personally could have made different choices and feel the regret in themselves too.

The “Civil.” Epilogue ending was the first I came across. I will say, I was certainly not expecting Sir Channing to just come out as a woman like that for the sake of Princess Idril having a chance to lead Thigomisat. However, I think this was a very cool way to end this branch— it sure did get wild there at the end! I love the message this epilogue brings: gender doesn’t truly matter, all it says about us is our biology. My favorite part is the bit at the end where the young girl from the very beginning gets to rub it in the face of the boy from the beginning that women can in fact become knights.

The picture to go along with the “Civil.” Epilogue is also so fitting. All the epilogue art is so simplistic, yet has such detail in that every part of it has meaning. In that image it shows Queen Idril, chin held high— proud, confident, ready to lead.

I like how in this storygame every part of the story where Sir Channing’s secret of being a woman comes out the author starts using the she/her pronouns and removes the “Sir” in “Sir Channing.” It’s a nice touch, and also further highlights the significance of the knight position and how that was Sir Channing’s main identifying male factor. After all, in those times they called knights “Sir” whatever their name was and didn’t have female knights, thus there being no reason to have something to call them. I appreciated that detail being changed.
In the epilogue “A crown, a crowd, a coronation.” (which is named in a very artistically worded manner) events all pass very quickly as Sir Channing rises hastily into the position of power and even agrees to marry Princess Irdril. A crazy turn of events for sure! The reader sees Sir Channing transformed by ambition and lust for power from a loyal, moral, and honorable knight into a greedy and selfish man seeking the throne. This epilogue is basically the parallel to “Civil.” where one choice changed the fate of the kingdom to having a strong woman ruler lead the kingdom into a new age or having a greedy secretly a woman leader who the reader can tell from the foreshadowing will lead Thigomisat into dark days. Then the ending is also very different, as we see the girl from the beginning deciding that she’ll have to lean into the role of her gender like Queen Idril. I also found it slightly amusing in a gloomy moment that the boy seized the opportunity to hit on her.

The image with this epilogue is also an interesting contrast to the one from “Civil.” In the other epilogue, Queen Idril looks confident and strong, while in the “A crown, a crowd, a coronation.” epilogue art she is seduced, submissive, under the cocky dominance of King Channing.

Gosh, I just love Gregam. He’s such a nice, humble, quiet, obedient, submissive servant who is very dedicated to Sir Channing. While he’s just a side character, I feel like he deserves a little paragraph of appreciation.

On the page “Battlebound.” the reader gets to see an interesting chunk of Sir Channing’s background. The author provides very nice detail of young Channing’s tragedy, followed by her struggle to climb to knighthood. I really appreciate the author putting in this nice bit of background, because knowing where Sir Channing comes from makes it more fun/easier to make the decisions from Sir Channing’s perspective. I also love this statement close to the end of the page: “A girl cannot be a knight, but Sir Channing can. So he breathes, he fights, and he lives instead.” Such a great statement, highlighting the fact that the only way for Channing to be anyone she has to hide her identity as a woman and fully accept the identity of Sir Channing. Then the second part of the statement uses repetition of “he” to emphasize the importance of the male cover. Then the final sentence of the page, “She became Sir Channing not for herself, but for them— for the people who would never understand, who would never support a woman who rose to such a position.” So powerful, and it really supports one of the main ideas in this story— that the only reason that a woman can’t be a knight is that society says she can’t.

In the “Morning.” page, the reader gets a detailed glimpse of Sir Channing’s relationship with King Thom and his relationship with Sir Darwin. The reader sees King Thom’s warm, high opinion of Sir Channing that’s described as even fonder than King Thom is of his own nephew. Then there’s King Thom’s nephew, Sir Darwin, who while also having a high opinion of Sir Channing is less like a mentor and more like a brother, as we see with him trading Sir Channing. I’m glad that these details were included in a slightly different way in this different branch.

I find it interesting on the “Options.” page how assertively Sir Channing steps into command. He’s humble, but certainly not going to submit to any of the other knights— even though Sir Raevyn and Loren are more experienced and Sir Darwin is his closest friend. It’s also a very strong characterizing moment when Sir Channing snaps at Sir Darwin for making a comment implying that Sir Raevyn is unfit to be a knight. Sir Channing’s response shows his absolute trust in King Thom, his confidence as leader, and his belief against unrightfully dismissing a peer or their ideas.

I love the comical interaction between Sir Raevyn, Sir Channing, and Sir Darwin on “Kidnapper.” The knights deciding who will charm Princess Delaney is highly entertaining, with the childish defenses of their looks and skills.
The page “Off to kidnap a princess.” hints at a bit of foreshadowing that Sir Raevyn may have some alternative motive or mission, possibly even that he’s a double agent.

I thoroughly enjoyed the pun of the name of the page “Reu-knighting.” Haha. On that page, I like the care that the knights show toward Princess Delaney. Certainly not your toss in a potato sack and throw in the back of the truck kidnapping.

I would just like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that every plan, every idea that these characters had the author had to come up with. Coming up with ideas and plans designed to come from multiple characters at once is no easy feat, and this skill and work should not be overlooked.

On the “A princess in a tower.” page, I find it highly amusing how offended Princess Delaney is by this whole situation, and how she retaliates. Her immediate response is to just roast the heck out of Sir Darwin, and when Sir Raevyn comments on it she makes it clear that she is not happy with him either. Princess Delaney is characterized well as snappy, fiery, entitled, sheltered, and yet as being able to stick up for herself. She’s definitely one of my favorite characters.

“Days in the tower.” is the page where things really start to get gay in the kidnapping path between Sir Channing and Princess Delaney. It takes her a little while, but eventually when the two are left alone Princess Delaney allows Sir Channing to help her fix a button, which is just a tiny act that breaks the ice a little bit. Of course, Princess Delaney doesn’t know that this is gay and Sir Channing isn’t thinking of it like that but still. When the princess inquires of how Sir Channing knows how to sew, the two exchange a brief moment that gives very strong awkward first couple interactions and haters to lovers vibes. Then if the reader chooses the additional days, they get to see the relationship between Sir Channing and Princess Delaney growing just a little bit.

It’s nice how the author develops the character of Princess Delaney further on “Ultimatum.” Sir Channing realizes that Princess Delaney isn’t really such a strong and defiant woman, and that she’s just cloaking her true, small, girlish self. She finally trusts Sir Channing enough to where she breaks down and cries in his arms, letting off the weight on her chest of how miserable it truly is with her father. Gay, and also a beautiful moment.

On that same “Ultimatum.” page, I really like this sentence: “She melts, metal meeting moisture, her tears tracking down tarnished pauldrons.” Not only is it structurally satisfying, the alliteration makes it such a pleasing sentence to read. The sentence flows so beautifully, and I love that Fresh incorporates so many uses of figurative language; it really enhances her writing to another level.

On the path where Princess Delaney is released back to Otothoev, I just love how silently upset Sir Channing gets. He doesn’t want to show it, but he truly developed feelings for her and now that she’s gone he struggles to cope, so he goes to the only place he can think of to attempt to distract himself and work through it— the practice field for the knights. While there though, Sir Darwin comes out as well. The page “Company.” is one of the best scenes in the whole story to display sir Darwin and Sir Channing’s brotherly bond— at least, part of it is. There are times in this scene where it turns a little gay, which is kind of funny because it’s not actually gay, it just feels that way to both involved.

However, not returning the princess turned out to be a terrible idea, as it caused immediate retaliation from the Otothoevi dark magic army, bringing immediate destruction and despair to Thigomisat. However that is not where this branch ends.

On the “War.” page and the path that follows, Sir Channing has lost touch with his feelings from the sheer magnitude of loss he experienced— now revenge was all that remained for him. It was such a brutal, exciting progression and it certainly kept me eagerly awaiting for what came next the whole way through. When Princess Delaney showed up, Sir Channing hesitated to continue on his path of vengeance. When “Hate.” is chosen, Sir Channing refocuses on his mission to murder King Henrik, which leads to the epilogue “Two kingdoms without a king.” Choosing “Forgiveness.” leads to Sir Channing softening and realizing that it wouldn’t change anything to take the king’s life, which results in the “Fairy tale.” epilogue.

“Two kingdoms without a king.” is an interesting epilogue, as it explores what happens to Otothoev with no one even close to being their leader, especially since their last king was a tyrant. I love this sentence from the epilogue, “Farmers took up arms, blacksmiths forged weapons instead of plows, and the streets ran red.” This sentence displays the pure chaotic and violent anarchy that Sir Channing set Otothoev into, and it’s a very well-written sentence. The art for this epilogue is definitely one of my favorites. On the left with a red background sits an empty throne, then dividing the left from the right is Sir Channing, holding a bloodied, glistening knife on the right side that has a yellow/brown/orange background. This art speaks for itself.

The “Fairy tale.” epilogue is very peaceful, very sweet, and very gay. Channing and Delaney are free and secluded, just happy to love each other. It was a very satisfying ending if you don’t care about revenge. The art for it is also very sweet and peaceful. It shows Delaney in her usual manner and then Channing, who’s slightly changed with her hair grown out as she’s free to do such a thing now.

When “Peace.” is chosen after keeping the princess, Sir Channing rides east and reduces himself to “Channing, a humble farmer,” and with the title of Sir gives up having to pretend to be a man. This path quickly leads to the “Orchard.” epilogue, which is pretty short but still solid. Channing isn’t in this epilogue herself, but it can be inferred that these children are enjoying this apple orchard because Channing became a farmer. The art is beautiful, a hand lightly holding an apple with a bite out of it with a bright blue background.

When the option of “Alter the truth a little.” is chosen, King Thom is under the impression that Otothoev will open up trade again soon, so when he doesn’t he has to send Sir Channing, Sir Raevyn, Sir Loren, and Sir Darwin out with an ultimatum. It’s an interesting concept, considering the choice that Sir Channing gets to make just by being purely honest. Sir Channing of course also realizes his mistake and has an internal conflict of regret about it that was very well-thought-through by the author.

On the path of “Obey.” Sir Darwin and Sir Channing have a funny little interaction where Sir Darwin tries to get Sir Channing to open up a bit, followed by a quick, playful sparring match before Sir Darwin gets serious and shows genuine concern for his friend. This scene is not only entertaining, but it serves to characterize Sir Channing and Sir Darwin as playful, brotherly friends who are still adults.

On the page “A restless knight.” (which, is another one of those cleverly named pages by Fresh) the reader gets to witness Sir Channing’s internal struggle with his past haunting him. He struggles to sleep through the voices in his nightmares, and the reader sees how he’s always living in a fight simply due to his internal war.

In the path of obeying King Thom’s request to go to Otothoev to give King Henrik an ultimatum after altering the truth to King Thom, the page “Unrelenting.” is where Sir Channing meets Princess Delaney. She presents herself as a curious, slightly grossed out at the situation, and lonely person. She offers Sir Channing a choice: her friendship or not.

When Sir Channing accepts the princess’s friendship, she decides he’ll call her Delaney and then insists that she call Sir Channing by the name Channing, which really bugs Sir Channing given the significance of his knightly name to him. Yet still, he’ll do what is best for Thigomisat, no matter the cost of his own happiness.

I love that the author had Delaney write poetry. Not only does this add to her characterization through the fact that she writes poems, but what she writes in them as well. Of course this character hobby also leads to some interesting interactions between Sir Channing and Delaney when Sir Channing asks her to explain her poems— something she’s never been asked to do, which strengthens their bond. My favorite of Delaney’s poems was definitely the third one that she wrote about her mom’s death. It’s so real, so painful and it’s just so artistic. You can tell the author has experience writing poetry.

Leading up to the “A throne, a king, a kingdom.” epilogue, Sir Channing reveals to Delaney that he is in fact a girl, and Delaney tells him that it doesn’t matter to her— she loves him anyway. And so a gay ending begins. In this epilogue, King Channing had chosen to keep up the act in order to become king over Otothoev and keep both Thigomisat and Otothoev free from violence with each other, as well as live happily ever after with Delaney; her remaining the only one who knew his little secret. The art for this epilogue is the throne of Otothoev with a deep reddish orange background to symbolize the position King Channing took.

Of course if the reader chooses to risk it all then they get the Epilogue, aka the true ending and the least exciting ending. But hey, Channing gets the girl, was gay, and came clean to being a girl so it makes sense that that’s the true ending.

When Sir Channing decides not to ask Delaney to come with them, he and Sir Darwin go on an action packed adventure through the sewer. This is such a gruesome battle scene, it’s horrifying and ugly and I felt genuine sympathy pain but I love it. The amazing thing about this fight is it’s not just a physical fight— it’s a mind game. Timor is a terrible evil that fights physically and can also mess with the mind. It’s a crazy concept and the author portrays it perfectly. Definitely one of the best action scenes in the story.

In the “Take a stand.” version, the reader has to make a choice between trying to overload Timor with his own pain and despair or Sir Darwin’s. Choosing emotion and Sir Channing’s pain gets both Sir Channing and Sir Darwin out, barely alive but alive. Choosing logic means that they both escape alive but Sir Darwin is on the brink of death.

My favorite epilogue was definitely “Monster hunters.” Sir Channing and Sir Darwin have an even tighter bond, getting to live out their days like brothers, just adventuring and slaying monsters, every knight’s dream come true. I also love the epilogue art— Sir Darwin’s silhouette with his messy hair on the left of a campfire, with Sir Channing (who is very well-muscled) on the right.

In the epilogue “Duty, honor, valor.” the author gives a nice recap of the penalty of war, and then how they finally reached a peace. Somehow, after all that, Sir Channing and Sir Darwin survived, and they remained brotherly friends until the ends of their days. The art for this epilogue was a nice silhouette of Sir Darwin on Sir Channing’s left with a dark green background. This epilogue was nice because it was so plain. There wasn’t really a happily ever after, it was just a well the war did happen but it eventually ended type of ending. A neutral ending, which was nice.

I like the scene “Comfort.” It’s a very interesting change in perspective that I really enjoyed, especially for a scene like this. It allows the reader to see how other people would view Sir Darwin and Sir Channing, and a change in perspective is fun to keep readers on their toes.

- - You know what would put the “Sorrow” in “Gaiety and Sorrow”? If something was wrong with this story - -
On the page “The day they left.” it says, “Princess Delaney sits rigidly against the window, eyes fixed on the passing landscape.” Where this quote takes place she is on a horse with Sir Channing. It seems the author had forgotten for a second that they were not in a car. However I choose not to mentally subtract points for this because it was a very minor mistake for such a large story that most people possibly wouldn’t even catch, plus with this being a contest entry it was likely a late-night writing ordeal, and mistakes like that happen.

There are so few SPAG errors it’s barely worth mentioning. I didn’t even notice the handful that there are until my second time through, and the errors are things like one character missing. Also, the longer the storygame the harder it is to proofread for things like that so a few SPAG errors in a 7/8 length story is to be expected. For those reasons I chose not to drop this story a rating.

- - Final Thoughts - -
This story does everything for me. The characterization is spot on— I felt like I really got to know a lot of the characters that I saw on each path. The setting descriptions were detailed to the point where I could feel like I was there alongside the characters. The action details were vivid, and the gore made me feel pain and have twists in my gut! The sorrowful parts made me want to cry, and I was laughing aloud at the jokes. The branching was quite wide, with 13 epilogues ranging from hunting monsters to putting a queen on the throne of Thigomisat. The writing itself was sound, with very few errors, and the language used really made the story pop. It was engaging, enjoyable, and impressive. The kind of storygame I would come back and read again.

This is a great storygame by Fresh, and I highly recommend reading it. It’s extra impressive considering it was a contest entry. It seems long, but it won’t take you that long to just do one path and I promise you it will be worth your time. It has the gay, it has the depressed, yet in a whole new way. Hope my review was at least coherent! Congratulations on publishing such a great storygame, and good luck in the contest!

First Impressions: Not enough GAY, but too much GAY at the same time!

**********************Spoilers*************************

This is an extremely enjoyable read! It is clear that a lot of work and thought has gone into it. Unlike SOME recent additions to the GaD series, the author has obviously used the extended time of the contest to their advantage.

The structure of the story is fantastic. There are rarely any choices that don’t change the outcome of events. I admit I haven’t gone through every path quite yet, but I will absolutely return to it and play through the rest of them. That is truly the markings of a good long storygame done right; the variety in the pathing is entertaining enough that you feel like you’re missing out when you hit the end game link.

I loved the writing too. The element of switching around pronouns was a bit confusing to me at first as I wasn’t really tracking when or why it happened, but as I grasped the concept I was able to enjoy it. The paragraph breaks added easy flow to the whole story.

There were a couple of grammatical issues I saw, but nothing major. I spotted a few typos and missing punctuations here and there. I noted in the description of the judgement scene in the rebellion path that there were far too many paragraphs in a row that started with the word there, which is a preference thing that throws me off a bit but isn’t too bad.

My main complaint is that there is far too little GAY for a GaD. It is also hard to tell what is the GAY and what isn’t. Is the clearly implied blossoming romance between Sir Darwin and Sir Channing the GAY since in most of it Darwin is unaware of Channing’s gender and Channing seems to have no problem with Darwin assuming that? Is the Channing/Delaney ship the GAY since they’re both women? That’s what the true ending seems to Imply. IS IT ALL GAY?!?! I’m SO CONFUSED!!!!

7/8. Would highly recommend it. I hope there turns out to be a sequel.

The choices mattered, the characters made sense, the setting was nice, and people were gay. No grammatical errors. 8/8

Overall: Wow, like honestly. This is a solid story. The dialogue was well written, the descriptions are everything I would've wanted. Other people already explained that they enjoy your wordplay with the pronouns and I felt the same way. The whole thing comes up as a excellent story, detailing a Main character's Strife through his job. I was pleasantly surprised that the main focus wasn't JUST about the main character's gender or the romance aspect the political intrigue and the dilemmas are what captivated me to keep playing and do multiple runs of it. Speaking of which, some part of me feels like the 'romance' aspect was a little bit "rushed" perhaps.

I didn't share nearly as strong of a bond with Princess Idril as Sir Channing had somehow formed in the two or three small talks and fixing her clothing once. The ending I found most satisfying was Two kingdoms without a king; Ironically enough. Since I could share the sentiment with Channing that a women he only spent with for a month at most, SOMEHOW has any idea of your quite SPECIFIC pain of losing your home, friends, and city. This sentiment is doubled by the fact that SHE was the CATALYST of the war who quite LITERALLY begged to stay, adds insult to injury. So yeah theres no way in hell I'm listening to your pleas of "forgiveness" and everything she has costed. That and also King Dickhead, needed to die and seeing him go... The way your words explained how it all went down was absolutely encapsulating! I don't think I can express how amazing your wordplay was in this story. It actually makes me jealous how well you make such vivid imagery with words alone.

The ending itself made me grow to respect Channing much more, considering my first playthrough was busy spent being bullied by mages until, I relented to give another shot simply because I really enjoyed your writing style.
The ending I felt happy with was "Two kingdoms without a king." but speaking of endings, my first ending I received was "Civil" where the Thom's Daughter takes the mantle of ruler. To be honest, the ending felt a little bit 'preachy' simply because I didn't notice how the gender of the individual affected anything in the story up until this point. Sure Channing had to pretend to be a man, but what good does that fact tell us by itself without showing us WHY she had too?

Then the ending comes and suddenly we are hit with sexist dialogue from the knights and told how "the women are too soft so they can't be rulers." despite the fact that that point was never in any of the other parts of the story till this page. Hell the knights as a whole were never even put in a situation where they COULD BE sexist since they were all busy dealing with much more important diplomatic matters, Hell it really felt like Channing was the only one who struggled with gender throughout the whole story except the girl kid from the beginning who got harrassed by the boy.

Perhaps a little more directly recounted information about Channings upbringing (and how gender played a role in it) included into that specific route would be beneficial to explaining why this was a bigger deal since it feels like it wasn't really the point of the story.

Cavalier-ing off that btw, I while I enjoy how the entire story reads like a book. Focusing on the dialogue, descriptions, and motivations of each character. I must say, I found it hard to know "where some axes will land" when it comes to decisions that are made. I wasn't even aware that magic was even a THING until Dude-Mcbuddy the Goon Mage made all my boys collapse on the ground. Much like how it is when writers prevent solutions to problems sounding like a "Deus ex machina" by adding foreshadowing, you should add some minor 'foreshadowing' to some of your choices to so it can feel a bit more justified when reader meets a swift and sudden end (Of course perhaps you already did this and I'm salty I didn't know mages were a thing in this world till one was staring me in the face).

Overall, Excellent story! 7/8 simply for feeling weird about certain story beats, but thats my subjective opinion. If I was to base it on your writting ability alone however, it would easily be a 9/8

So it was pointed out to me that the path I took was the wrong one to delve into the emotional aspect of this storygame, so I read it again. This time I took a path in which one emotion was definitely done well: guilt.

I ended up getting an entire group of villagers killed, and the shame and guilt the knights felt was definitely well delivered here.

So yeah, with a story like this with so many choices, some are going to focus on different things. But I still think that means the strength of the storygame remains the breadth of choices, and how they impact the story. There are lots of routes you can go, and it appears each explores something different. You can't go wrong with this one.

The branching is probably the strength of this story, as there are many paths to choose from. The choices were varied and appear to dramatically alter things.

I was able to distinguish characters, which happens less often than you might think (the old "nameless knights" issue you see a lot, where little thought is put into side-characters, doesn't rear its head here). The choices you make have weight.

As far as drawbacks, my main concern is that I didn't experience any emotional pull here. While I ended with a tragedy, I don't know if there was enough building of the emotional connection prior to that moment. And the destruction of the kingdom felt really sudden.

Overall, it's a pretty good story game. From what I found reading it, this one is more of the ones where you go through different branches to see what happens, rather than one where you go for emotional catharsis or something like that.

But perhaps in other branches some of that occus.

This was a really amazing and enjoyable storygame! Sir Channing is an incredible protagonist. The diversity amongst the paths is very broad, making this a very well-branched story. Very detailed, super fun, deep and emotional at times, great story. Well done Fresh! 8/8

Fresh doesn’t miss :)

Channing seems like the sort of character I'd come up with as a little kid who begged for there to be a better way. I'm still going to ship him and Idril, though.
This story had relatively decent branching, but it definitely seemed more like a story than a game - which is okay.
Channing is a fantastic example of having an internal conflict, and each knight has their own personalities.
The writing style speaks to the setting in a wonderful twisting of vines, and each word choice seems to make sense.
I haven't got a single issue with this story, I think it's incredible. 8/8.

An excellently written story game! Channing is a delightfully complex character. I loved the use of pronouns to determine his/her state of mind at any given point of time. Indeed, all the characters were compelling enough that I found myself rereading all the paths just to see how the characters would react to different paths.

Also love the art! :]

Gaiety and Sorrow

Allow to start off by saying that this is just a review only. The reader should always see the story for themselves before they make decisions regarding the story’s quality.

First off, allow me to state that the first paragraph loan was enough to make me feel like I was watching a movie. The way that the setting seamlessly flows from the type of things you would expect to see medieval market to immediately focusing on the main character is something that I would have expected from the opening sequence of a classical Disney movie. The interactions between the town folk made me feel as though I was sitting there, listening to the conversation, looking around furtively as if I was an eavesdropper.

The children especially made me smile. A lot of authors either makes children sound more mature than they really are or make them sound like a bunch of two-year-olds that learned English early the spider are overwhelming mental defects. If there’s one thing, the story hasn’t impressed on me from the first page it’s a firm grasp on human nature and social interaction.

Speaking of which, the way you were able to establish who the main character is while invoking an aura of mystery around them was impressive. You depict the townsfolk as wanting to know more about this man, and coming up with their own theories on him, which incidentally is also the emotion that is elicited from the reader as well. Therefore allowing us to empathize with even the background characters within the story not just the main character and supporting cast. That is a level of immersion that to be frank. I don’t see outside of top tier writers such as endmaster. When it takes me four paragraphs just to describe the first page alone you know it’s a masterpiece. If you don’t win this contest, I’m rioting.

Starting with the transparent honesty path.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Channing is a girl? So that’s a pretty good plot twist! Nowadays a lot of people who have diversity in their stories tend to make main female characters “ Mary Sues.”
You’ve written it in such a way that it actually makes sense how a woman would end up being a knight and how unusual it is, as well as explaining why Channing is is an enigma. The fact that Sir Channing hides her identity is a lot more historically accurate than the “strong, independent woman beats the patriarchy by being herself” narrative that so many authors and media outlets are pushing these days. Congratulations you’ve officially created a more admirable female character than Disney ever did. Much more than the IFaggots.

Historically, speaking, a lot of women who had no parents or stable family unit would have to disguise themselves as men for job opportunities and to avoid being exploited. You’re able to capture this within a fantasy story which brother added to the immersion and gives it a sense of the uncanny valley what you can’t quite tell what’s real and what isn’t. Even the narrator refers to Channing by “his” public identity.

Channing’s dream sequence and his description of how dreams operate not only establish a type of cadence that becomes steadily more sinister, reminding me of your ThunderDome entry against me, but this is also paralleled in your description of how people have been writing poetry about dreams literally while you are doing that in your own way.

Well, it does suck that war was inevitable, especially, after I tried to pursue peace. I do like that you were able to find different variations on how to get to the same place. It allows the reader to feel as though their choices still matter rather than rather than a couple of linear decisions. It also allows us to wonder if our decisions of consequences later in the story, such as if picking peace over immediate war will have consequences on the way in which the war will unfold.

The method of attempted reconciliation which I will not state to avoid spoilers, was beautiful and vivid. The depiction of the messenger, riding out evoked an image of glory and success. The entire scene left us with the idea that nothing could possibly go wrong and everything would be perfect. This idea is then brought with a screaming halt with the opposing country’s response.

Not only is it such a sharp contrast to the previous scene, but it also leads to a bit of intentional confusion. Why is it a country that just a little while ago was such a great ally of ours is now suddenly willing to risk our wrath and hate us so much? It’s clear that there’s a overarching plot that like any good story is being revealed to us a little bit at a time while offering more questions and scenarios to keep the entry going and keep the reader hooked.

I enjoy how the king gives us the option to handle things our way. Most stories like this they give you a clear goal they give you a choice of how to do it or they give you some type of mission to fill out from planning to execution and your choices cover how you overcome obstacles.

This story makes it pretty clear that the protagonist is to decide what is to be done with this country? This not only gives the reader a sense of feeling important without being overbearing or being some type of “special chosen one” but also imparts just how much the king truly trusts his knights. Which makes Channing’s secret identity, and upwards mobility, all the more impressive.

Allow me to just say the use of metaphors within the story is also incredible. This is a story that anyone who reads will be able to tell immediately while writing is seen as an art form. It is poetic yet sums up the reader’s current situation in a few powerful words.

Unrelenting warpath, lol. I was a little confused when you said that to me in a conversation earlier. But within the story, it’s certainly apt, given your instructions from the king.

This story also does a great job of the “show, not tell” that some writers are fond of. Everything around you from the sights to the sounds to the smells is describing vivid detail without bogging down the story. Giving the reader a clear picture while giving room for imagination.

Oh, so I did find my first error. When Sir Darwin asked a question of Sir Loren, and Sir Loren responds, Darwin refers to him as Sir Raevyn.

By the way, can I just say I love how each of the other knights and the king exhibit, their own personality traits, rather than being some generic Merry Men that are just there to help the protagonist?

Oh, and here’s a moral choice that has both its pros and cons. Do you fight the guards thereby taking lives and risking your own? Or do you burn down homes, therefore reducing loss of life along with your own risk, but at the cost of targeting innocent people.

Naturally, I chose to target the civilians. They are a bunch of serfs, it’s not like their quality of life is great. And I feel like in the long run targeting the food supply is going to do a lot more impact on their military than taking out guards that can be replaced with conscripting the very peasants that we’re trying to spare.

It’s pretty clear, however, that the knights, including Sir Darwin, who came up with the plan, are not happy having to do it. The fact that Sir Darwin has to literally justify his own idea, along with forced humor shows that it’s considered more of a lesser of two evils type of situation. Not ideal, but better than war or kidnapping.

These men, including our protagonist, are sworn by duty to commit an act that they know will cause innocent people to die slow lingering deaths by starvation. Many stories that had the same situation don’t dwell on the moral confliction that such an act would cause. You might see a sentence or two about hanging your head and saying it’s for the good of the kingdom. But here? Sir Darwin’s attempt to convince himself that what he’s doing is not as bad as what it is, followed by a sharp rebuke and a reminder from Sir Loren, sets a grim tone that establishes the weight of the characters actions, a heaviness felt by all of them… the reader included.

You’re not just seeing things from the eyes of the honorable Sir Channing. You’re not only deciding the path they will take. You are there with them, an invisible spectre guiding them and sharing in the pain and suffering their actions, your actions, are sure to invoke. Technically that’s what any good story game is, but the story imparts a sense of responsibility and awareness that very few manage to.

I honestly have not been drawn this deep into a story since I read Eternal. This is amazing!

Holy fuck. Sir Channing’s parents died in a fire and here they are, setting homes on fire. The literary irony, the anguish and indecision. This entire situation is fucked.

And yet… what other choice do they have? A war where many, many more people will die? This is like dropping the H bomb on Nagasaki in 1945. A horrible, horrible decision. But a necessary one.

Having to commit atrocities against people who have done you no harm, people who at one point, you could’ve counted yourself among them, because your king has ordered it to prevent worse from happening. It’s easy to talk about. Logically, it makes sense. But when you’re the one doing it? It imparts a sense of anguish. A death of your humanity. And this way, there’s a great job of making you not only understand that, but feeling that as if you were the one who had lowered the torch to the field.

You did such a fantastic job of eliciting empathy, in fact, that when some of the civilians inevitably rebel, it comes as a shock although in hindsight, the reader probably should’ve seen it coming. Generally speaking, people don’t like it when soldiers from other countries come to their homes and set their own food on fire over a foreign policy decision they had nothing to do with and possibly weren’t even aware of. Either way, the stated goal of saving lives, seems to be an impossibility.

Following this is immediately confronting the protagonist with the other side of the coin in the form of innocent civilians, whose lives they’ve ruined. Including a child, who, in some ways acts as a mirror to the protagonist who was in his possession at one point.

Another heavy decision. Do we continue with the justification that led to us creating the fires in the first place? The mission given to us by our king?

Or do we try to establish a little bit of the humanity we have left and help these people who are only in their predicament because of us, knowing that they could be members of the rebellion or simply want revenge on us at a later date? Not to mention jeopardizing our mission. After all, it’s only a matter of time before the opposing army finds us, and these people don’t have a whole lot of reason to not turn us in considering from their point of view, we didn’t seem to care about their well-being when we were setting their crops on fire.

It was a struggle. Ultimately, I chose to help the refugees.

Another minor error: you spelled questioned as “questined.”

Despite being the moral choice, this story does do a pretty realistic depiction of how the refugees feel. On the one hand, they kind of need the knights to further their own safety. On the other hand, they are resentful and not quite feeling chatty. The fact that one of the refugees is willing to open the state that he hopes the rebellion hurries up and gets there shows just how little these people seem to care about “consequences“ after having their livelihoods burned down for what they see as nothing, and establishing the precarious situation our knights have found themselves in as a result of their actions.

Once again, our protagonist Sir Channing sees himself in the enemy. This time, it is a young woman fighting for her home. Her death at the hands of Sir Channing leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of the reader. We don’t have much time to fully appreciate the impact of this, as immediately Fresh once again shows her understanding of human nature by having these refugees be slaughtered by their own country men in a fit of rage. The boy. A child impacted and only in that situation because of the protagonist and the reader… he is now slaughtered as a consequence. A innocent casualty of war.

What makes this ending so bitter? The fact that this entire situation only happens because of the atrocities committed by the knights. Their justification for these horrible, despicable acts was to avoid war. And not only did they end up causing one, but they’re forced to watch firsthand the consequences of their ill decisions.

Going back to the focus on the mission choice immediately following setting the fires.

So while they’ve all committed monsterous acts, it’s clear that leaving a bunch of innocent people is where the line is drawn. They all swore oaths to their country and king. Which makes it all the more powerful when they attempt to persuade our protagonist through shaming, begging, confrontation to help the civilians.

This is what happens when you focus entirely on results. You can feel the last of the humanity, the morality, the desire to do what’s right die within Sir Channing.

But what must be done, must be done. The story then takes the narrative down an unexpected route with the introduction of a mysterious traveler. From his words, you can tell he’s not someone to be trifled with. He has a power different from knights and kings. Whether he’s a magical human or something not quite human, or some mixture of the two… it’s not certain. Considering the ending I wouldn’t be surprised if this was intentional, but this traveler that you meet reminds me of the old stories about meeting death on a road.

The fact that Sir Darwin was ultimately killed for a decision that Sir Channing made is a powerful one, since even after everything that’s happened we can still see that he cares about the people under his charge.

Dang the king died too? So you literally committed all those atrocities for nothing. In a weird way it does in part a sense of karmic justice. Those who gave the order are now dead. And the protagonist, with their overwhelming sense of responsibility, is left to carry the consequences. Everyone involved has met their deserved fate.

And yet… there is still a country to serve. A people to protect and defend. The sense of responsibility and duty that serves your punishment is also what keeps you going, despite the grief that was described immensely well. As somebody who has lost my father, I can say that Sir Channing’s state of mind, the way he is shocked, noticing little things about Sir Darwin and becomes introspective… this is a very accurate state of mind involving grief immediately after death.

Ultimately, I chose to not genocide the mages. Aside from agreeing with Sir Channing about not all mages being like that one, I also feel as though that particular mage was in the right for doing what he did. Regardless of how friendly and loyal Sir Darwin was, and the story does a fantastic job of making him feel like a real person that you could actually see yourself going on adventures with… the fact is, he was responsible for the idea that led to the suffering of countless innocents. Children will starve and die in agony because of him. Compared to that, his death was merciful.

The immediate switch by the narrator to referring to Sir Channing as her real gender, from “him” to “her” was masterfully done. It imparts of sense of determination, a belief in a changing tomorrow. The men that she has served with having no objections (I particularly liked Sir Raevyn’s response) shows just how much “Sir” Channing has earned the respect of her peers.

The children from the first page! They were the first ones to speak, and now they’re the last? I love that literary hook. It brings the story around full circle. Despite the terrible things that have been done, there is still hope.

While I’m sure there’s a lot more playthroughs to go through, I am going to stop at there for now. This is my new favorite story. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, Fresh, you deserve the win. I sincerely hope that you take first place and this is an incredible novel. Yes lol I said novel. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for my new favorite story on this site.

Not only are you EndMaster’s newest daughter, but you are the first one to write a story that is… if I’m being honest… is better than the majority of his work. And that is a compliment that I have never paid an author before in my life.

8/8, and I sincerely wish I could go higher!

This story was great, I liked reading it as you wrote, you're a great author. I'm proud of you fresh