Player Comments on Kitchen Nightmares but Gordon Ramsay is contractually permitted to kill the owner during filming

Well, there is really a million things that can be said about this story. If I had to guess, I am assuming the first half is written by Sherbet and the second half (the fight between Gordon and the restaurant owner) is written by Sent.

The First Half:
This story does a fantastic job, particularly in the first half, of portraying the protagonist as a true-to-life Gordon Ramsay. Seriously, the mannerisms, the phrases, the insults, it truly did feel like a Gordon Ramsay fan fiction based on Kitchen Nightmares. I found it very funny and got a few laughs out of the first few pages. It was hilarious, vivid, and well-characterised. Both Gordon and the restaurant owner felt authentic, and the treatment of the staff was reminiscent of a genuine episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

The Second Half:
Towards the second half, the story obviously takes a turn into an over-the-top comical portrayal. However, it was not only comical, it became scary. It delves into horror, especially body horror. I got strong Resident Evil boss fight vibes when Gordon Ramsay ends up fighting the restaurant owner. The owner's slurred speech, discombobulated thoughts, and seemingly unyielding will and superhuman strength all coalesced into something genuinely scary to read. It felt like it was hopeless for Gordon Ramsay.

Main Critique:
My main critique is the linearity of the narrative. It would have been more engaging to the reader if we could pick how to fight the restaurant owner, leading to different outcomes and endings. The descriptions were vivid, and the action sequences flowed seamlessly from scene to scene. Gordon's reactions to the food were spot-on and added to the immersion.

Tone and potential reader Reactions:
Some readers might be put off by how over-the-top the story becomes in the second half. This is understandable, as it is definitely a divisive route to take. It is the kind of twist people either love or hate. Even if it is not your type, the quality of the writing is evident.

Character Dynamics:
One aspect I particularly enjoyed is how the restaurant owner becomes less relatable as the story progresses. At the beginning of the fight, Gordon is very much in the wrong. However, as the restaurant owner's true nature is revealed, we end up rooting for Gordon. This plot choice works well because it makes Gordon's actions not only more palatable (even if by accident) but also makes him more likable and relatable. While he may not be good in the traditional sense, the stark contrast to the antagonist ensures that he becomes the character we root for.

Final Thoughts:
This Kitchen Nightmares fanfiction is a blend of comedy, vivid characterization, strong imagery, and engaging fight scenes. It offers an intriguing mix of horror and body horror, leaving a lasting and certainly memorable impression. While slightly disturbing, it is well worth reading to determine if it is your sort of story.

My only major complaint is the linear nature of the story. My only warning to potential readers is that it can be quite gory, featuring a lot of body horror, so it may not be for everyone, even though it is objectively well-written.

Cool Fact:
There are over 100 calories in a tablespoon of vegetable oil. Assuming a medium-sized industrial fryer, it could contain up to about 20 gallons. If the restaurant owner drank even half of that amount, he consumed roughly over 50,000 calories. That is over 20 days' worth of food, consumed in just a few seconds. This feat alone truly makes him an eldritch horror and a powerhouse, and it is arguably the scariest scalable feat in the story. Nothing else compares.

Rating: 6/8

Well this if nothing else proves the value of an eye catching title. We have games from early November that still don't have their ten ratings yet (Fey Light, I'm looking at you), and here in less than a week this one's sitting at a greedy 17.

Sherb got so much of the personality down and the various quirks of the show, he and Sent both have a much greater understanding of Chef Ramsay than Kurt Woloch does. Even without THAT PAGE this is a nice piece of fanfic with a number of funny moment. I keep thinking back to one of the quotes during the dinner service that got a genuine "nearly choked on my drink" laugh out loud moment from me.

THAT PAGE is of course the centerpiece, but until you encounter far much more than you ever wanted to know there, the wholesome ending feels a lot like a real episode.

Of course once you know, you can't give that knowledge back. There is no other path, Dave MUST die, as traumatic and physically and emotionally damaging as the price of reading it all may be. (I strongly suggest that you don't be eating at the keyboard, as I'm pretty sure THAT PAGE explores the origins of spunglemundy, and what happens when someone chogwizzles it.)

In short, THAT PAGE is without question the most insane, weird, controversial, risky, potentially deeply offensive, spiritually serious, scientifically upending, philosophically inspired, personal, politically charged and mind-melting passage I ever ever read. And it just keeps going and going. The rest of the story was playful and fun and only mildly nausea inducing, but THAT PAGE was truly some shit inspired by drinking flat Pepsi after midnight.

I probably should criticize something here too, so yeah, it could've used a wee bit more branching.

Wholesome Dog died in that fryer on his next birthday. :(

What did I just read. (10/10, Clawdette best girl)

absolutely amazing. love you claudette RIP homie. Neat!

its cool haha

I edge to this everyday in a mog-off with my friends. I skibidied all over that gyatt. I lost my edging streak though to livey dunn.

SPOILERS

Well, that was probably one of most detailed and strangest action fight scenes I've ever read.

It was very easy for me to read the protagonist's dialogue with Chef Gordon Ramsay's voice. The storygame was an entertaining experience, even with the generic, wholesome ending you can go through just like any other normal episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Well done to both Sent and Sherbet for a great, short storygame! Also, credit to both of you for turning in a successful coauthored work.

Sent and Sherb are my favorite gay couple (of writers!).

oleaginous goblinoid one of those turns of phrases where I know instantly who wrote it

Simply beautiful

RAAAAAWWWWW!

Very solid short storygame. More strange and demented than I would have expected from Sherb, although the variety in the endings and how crazy things can get was very fun.

The characterization of Gordon, Dave and Anthony is nicely handled and at least for Gordon you really seem to catch most, if not all, of his notable mannerisms.

Because it's Sherb I wasn't reading with an eye for SPAG, so I can't speak to that.

As a fan of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, I can definitely understand what drove the authors of this game to write this.

It's seriously creative as hell and the title made me laugh so hard.

There was this episode where this disaster train wreck of a husband-wife duo basically ran a restaurant to the ground. The husband would threaten to fight people, and the wife meowed like a cat or something. It was a fever dream and I couldn't help but wonder what thsi would have been like if Gordon Ramsey snapped and tried to kill them. I saw wild blue's comment and I think that's the restaurant, Amy's baking company. These 2 even appeared on Dr.Phil and the interviews will make your jaw drop, they truly are a piece of work. The worst part of that husband, is that like an absolute jackass he takes server's tips. Like that guy was actually evil and if you make a sequel to this, you got to have those 2, or at least characters who resemble them.

I was unable to suspend belief once Dave got submerged in the oil and tried to eat you, but that was only because I was laughing too hard.

I love the contrast between the nice wholesome ending where Dave admits he has some issues and struggles to live up to the standards set by his father, and the one where he becomes an oil-monster who locks you in the freezer.

You really nailed Gordon Ramsey's POV and the way he would dress-down the unruly restaurant owners.

This was a really funny start to 2025. Thank you.

This is horrible. 8/8

I've watched many epsiodes of "Kitchen Nightmares", UK as well as US ones, so I know how things are usually going in the show. This is well depicted for a storygame which doesn't use any visuals. However, the whole notion of being able to kill the restaurant owner isn't very pronounced until you actually do it, and if you don't do it, the story runs pretty much like a TV episode. Sadly, in this case, killing or not killing the restaurant owner remains the only choice the player has, all the other things run like a series of continuations, where there could have been more choices for the player, even if they don't influence the ending... Gordon could have the option of ending the first dinner service sooner or later, or not at all, or stepping in in a way that makes Anthony do the work, but not ends the dinner service. There could be a choice on which items to try at the first test eatings, what to do after the first item (try further items or call the owner) and what to do for a renovation.

I didn't read the path where the owner gets killed because that's normally nothing I would do, nor do I think Gordon Ramsey would do it.

Intriguingly demented. Please do Amy's Baking Company next.

How dare you publish this and knock my story off the new games list

I reviewed this to him personally. Fantastic story, easy 8/8

Overall: A guilty-pleasure murder story, lol. This is a quality read and perfect for a disgruntled chef looking to get out their anger at the world via storygame. It’s funny, entertaining, and as always, well done.

Characters:
Gordon Ramsey is portrayed very accurately, from pinching the bridge of his nose to cursing (well, as close to cursing as Sherb will come) in every other sentence when he’s being exposed to cooking of hazardous levels. Even when he takes compassion, he does so in a way I could imagine him doing on TV (and I have seen a few of his shows).
Dave’s personality is also distinct. He has a motive for the actions we originally can’t explain instead of just being a terrible person. He wants to do well, though he has a terrible way of going about it.
Anthony is also a full character, despite having less attention placed on him. Having three characters with their own distinct personalities in a storygame of this size is a feat, and you’ve accomplished it.
8/8

SPAG: Minor instances. If I was going to nitpick, I’d talk about the difference between an en dash and a hyphen, but that’s pedantic. (Sent’s version of this seems to be sticking two hyphens together, lol. Maybe that’s a problem with how it transferred over.)
5/8

Branching: On one of the paths there’s only one choice, and only two on the others. This doesn’t really take away from the entertainment of the story, in my opinion, but is still a very limited scope.
3/8

Plot: Entertaining from beginning to end, and the first of its kind on this website (within my limited knowledge). However, it is incredibly short no matter which route you take.
5/8

Bonuses:
The start is immersive— pulls you right in. +0.75
“it might've even been called the most insane, weird, controversial, risky, potentially deeply offensive, spiritually serious, scientifically upending, philosophically inspired, personal, politically charged and mind-melting episode of television ever aired.” +1 for this sentence alone.

Total: With the average of the scores plus the bonuses, it comes out to a clean 6/8. Even with the short length of the story, the quality and humor justify that rating to me.

**other comments (aka SPOILERS)**
Starting out with a snippet of dialogue— the first page is definitely Sherb.
I wasn’t expecting to be Gordon Ramsey; looking back, I probably should’ve.

>"’I think you'll agree our food is top-notch, so it can't be that,’ he raises the greasy paper bag in his hand toward you.”
The bit after the dialogue is an action, so you should probably have it separated into its own sentence. (8th paragraph first page)
12th paragraph does the same thing. There are a few other spots as well, so I actually went and looked up if I was right about this. But yes, action being its own sentence is a thing.

The description of the food is very well done (unlike the burgers, it would seem). They all sound disgusting enough to elicit such blatant criticism.

>”Dave's Button Burgers may be a terrible restaurant, but your name value is stronger than its reputation- word has spread that you're in town, and the place is completely packed, come dinnertime.”
Shouldn’t be a comma before “come dinnertime” (I swear) (1st paragraph second page)

The fifth paragraph on the second page is missing a quotation mark at the end.

The complete opposing nature of the first option makes me smile.

On the “Show Compassion :)” page six paragraph, “chef” is not capitalized. It is everywhere else, so I’m assuming you just missed this one.

Very wholesome ending. Now, what happens if I kill him?

I’m gonna hazard a guess and say Sent wrote the “kill” page.

>”At the sound of ungodly flatulence from the wretched burger tyrant, you spun around to hurl it directly where you remember his head being.”
You switch up tenses here. (Ninth paragraph, KILL page)

>”He has never changed the oil in his entire years of having owned the place.”
This sentence reads awkwardly. (16th paragraph, KILL page)

You shouldn’t capitalize the word after an en dash; it works similarly to a semicolon in some cases, or a comma/parenthesis in the others.

HE STARTED DRINKING HIMSELF TO FREEDOM

I’m going to assume the typos in his dialogue are all intentional.

>”’LEBMME TRY’ The oleaginous goblinoid says.”
“The” shouldn’t be capitalized here. (22nd paragraph, KILL)
May I suggest possibly breaking this up into two pages? On one hand, the length adds to the humor, but it’s also… really long.

>”Worse than the gooseliver ravioli that the proprietors of Papa Krakovski's Pizzeria thought to cook by pickling rather than boiling-- (And tried to hide from you by storing it inside the wall insulation a week before your arrival.)”
The period should be outside of the parentheses, and you really should choose between those or the en dash.

>”The ungodly mixture of oil, dead skin and lymph, frozen burger meat, stomach acid, and innumerable other things that should never touch”
I think “lymph” was probably meant to say “limp” (paragraph 23, KILL)

>”You were slipping around in your mutual sick, --drool streaming in strings from your lips because you dare not swallow anything at a time like this-- trying to find stable footing to get to your feet and”
Don’t need the comma after “sick” since you have the en dash. (paragraph 24, KILL)

>”You became aware that Dave is closing the freezer door on you!”
Changing tenses again. (a lot of paragraphs in, somewhere towards the middle of KILL page)

>”when all of it is said and done, you offer Chef Anthony the wonderful opportunity to move out to Nevada and begin work at Gordon Ramsay Burger, effective immediately”
How can it be both after a list of tasks and effective immediately? (2nd paragraph, Help Chef Anthony)

I like that either way you save the restaurant claims to be the most satisfying outcome.