Master Of Strings

I did really enjoy the story, it was well written and the tension built up well :) The Items seem to have limited use (or maybe I was just using them at the wrong time?) but the pictures added nicely to the story and the writing was interesting and realistic, though possibly it could have benefitted from editing in a few places. Overall though, I really enjoyed this :D

This is an odd fish of a storygame. On the one hand, the story is quite detailed and interesting; on the other, it is very linear, with a lot of proofreading issues.

In terms of the story, this was not what I was expecting at all. I assumed this would be an adventure story, where the talking puppets and their human friend would set forth and get into trouble together. Rather, this the biography of Jade, a young woman who just happens to be skilled at making wooden dolls that talk to her.

Before I go any further, I should emphasize that my sense of the writer is that this is someone who does have a talent for writing, but was incredibly young at the time she wrote this story.

Her talent was evident in the fact that the pacing was more or less solid, she could write dialogue, and she can come up with a unique story.

Her youth was evident in the frequent misuse of words (i.e. perfectly good words used in precisely the wrong places), spelling errors, and grammar issues. (The boyfriend named "Erin" had me scratching my head.) However, I have confidence that someone with the ability to write this kind of story will naturally improve with age, until eventually she achieves her goal of becoming a published author.

My only complaints were as follows:

The dolls really didn't have much character development; they were basically described in term of genders, names, and hair colors, and there were too many of them to keep track of. Considering that the dolls spend so much of the story packed up in a box, it might have been more effective to just have one or two doll characters, and give them more of a role.

Also, this story is very linear. Yes, there are several options sprinkled here and there, but none have any impact on the story. After my first read-through, I restarted the story and chose the opposite of what I did before, and achieved the identical ending.

Finally, the items seem to serve no purpose. The items are actually just the dolls, who come and go anyway as the story dictates. After a lot of pointless clicking on the first couple pages, I got smart and let the items alone for the rest of the story.

But all in all, this is an intriguing story by a budding writer.

I wish I have that puppet

It's a nice story, only a few spelling or grammar errors. It's very linear, no matter what choices you make you get the same ending. I would have liked to see more branching out.

I liked this story. I feel like it could've been much longer, and had more depth. Those are my only real criticisms, though, as I noticed no major spelling or grammar issues. Solid 5/8 from me, and I'd like to see more stories from this author.

It had a very good story and had a pretty charming plotline.
Good length as well.

The writing was good, aside from a few hick-ups. It didn't seem like the items were useful for anything, though. 6/8

For a first story this is pretty amazing. A grammar error here and there but other than that nothing is wrong with this story in my opinion.