Not so Quiet on the Western Front

This is an alright attempt, but in all honestly, it was quite unsatisfying throughout. The premise of the story is promising but isn't fulfilled due to the incredibly short length and its abrupt ending.

Not to mention, the pictures are all broken, which greatly takes away from what would be a (somewhat) more immersive experience. Maybe it's just a personal preference of mine, but I'm not a huge fan of pictures in stories telling the setting and not the author. I would've much rather preferred that the setting and details of each location be described. It's one thing for the reader to look at a photograph taken at a WWI battle, and it's another to write about what that photograph is depicting - the violence, the bloodshed, the sounds and horrors of warfare. It's a storygame, not a picture book. As I've mentioned earlier, it doesn't help that the pictures don't even show up (another great reason to not rely on images for setting).

The writing is coherent but very bare bones. Due to the lack of functioning pictures, you're left with practically zero description and no idea on what your surroundings look like. Reading this story was more like reading a bunch of chronological bullet points (You did this. Then you did that. Then you went there. [...] You held your position. You won!). I wish that I knew more about my character and my purpose on the Western Front. The other characters were just as lifeless - they only served to react and respond to my character, nothing more.

Overall it's an okay effort at a storygame. I'm sure the pictures would've contributed some amount to the setting, but broken images are the least disenchanting parts of this story in my opinion. I'll give this a 3/8.

Wow. What a dissapointment.

The ending was not justifiable at all. It was way to quick, and way too rushed.

Like I said on a different storygame, it is never okay if someone is able to write out your entire plot in points.

-Pick England or Germany/Prussia (I picked England although I doubt it really matters)
-Go to the church
-Go to the bar
-Go on the front lines
-Advance
-Hold your position, The End

The initial idea of this story is great. You play as a boy who wants to fight in World War I. It sounded fun. However, it was way too short, and like Madbrad2000 said below me, it actually did leave you staring at your screen. I was so surprised at how quick it was.

The writing was also another thing that ruined it. The writing had a lot of punctuational errors, like, for example, forgetting to put the quotation mark in the right place. Also, the detail was not here. It needed to be detailed so as to leave an image in the reader's head. But instead it is pretty blunt and badly written, using no adjectives or anything really to describe a specific scene. To me, it seems like the author wrote the story, and without proofreading it or even bothering to re-read it, uploaded it. There were many more ways to improve this work.

I personally think this should be taken off, 2/8.

P.S. The images don't work.

I mean cmon man, i want to expirence war not death

This was pretty bad. The images don’t even work nowadays.

Pretty good

Good story a bit short rushed ending if it was a bit longer and ending wasn’t so rushed it would be a good story.

I guess it was ok. I couldn't see any of the pictures, though that may be my computer. I feel like this should have been expanded on and worked on more than it was.

5/10

I died really quick, but it was well written and well paced. The pictures don't show up on my phone, though.

The whole game didn't even take 1 minute. Seriously it's smaller then 10th part of a demo

I like it. WWI is my one of my favorite things to learn about at this definitely did it justice.