Party of the Year

I really disliked this story for many reasons.

There was some awkward wording here and there throughout this storygame, for example...
"You walk in the party & the party is in full swing"
I find the fact that you said "party" two times a bit awkward for this sentence. It would sound better if phrased like this, perhaps.
"You walk inside, and the party is in full swing."

There were also a few grammar and spelling errors, such as "rol" and not "roll."

This also had little branching and nearly no character development at all. Remember: this is chooseyourstory.com. This storygame felt as if I just kept repeating over and over again until I choose a certain path.

There's also no reason why the police attacked the party. Even of there was, it wasn't mentioned.

But hey, it's not warrior cats or anything I suppose. And it's better then a lot I see around here. There's also a half decent plot, even if it's a bit cliche.

Feels like the fact my cousin was tagging along was forgotten about in the conclusion of the story.

"YOU JUMPED THE FENCE AND MADE IT HOME SAFELY! YAY!"

"But what about my cuz, and his roaches? Did they jump the fence with me? Get arrested?"

*narrator profusely sweating*

"YOU WON!"

Story was pretty meh. I'd advise describing the characters and locations in more detail. You can still use the images, just have some text to back them up with.

yes

Like the rating says, 'Certainly not the best, certainly not the worst.' 5/8.

I feel like there could have been much more to this game. It could have potential, bu to do that there needs to be story. Events that happen need to carry on to what happens next, or it's like a game with different mini-games in it and no experience or leveling system, no currency.

Maybe try describing what things look like. The girl with the sandwiches, why couldn't you ask for her name? Is she blonde? What is actually happening, when the police arrived?

I liked this mostly because the basketball part was funny, and so were the pictures. So, like I said earlier, 5/8.

Contained many grammatical errors, wasn't amusing in any shape or form and you lacked details on each page.

I would like to say, this story is weird, why?
1. There's some wrong letters in the words.
2. The story is a little bit mixed up. (Didn't understand much of what your goal was in this story and the story himself)
3. In the party, same results to the sandwich situation and maybe more situations, no progress or effect in the story...
I would recommend to see top rated stories and read them, and learn how to write in the story.
Final rating: 2/8

Where's the story? Where's the game?
What's the point of everything?
I think you could have developed the plot a bit more.
I like how you used pictures, though; not a lot of games around here do that.

Normally I'd give a story like this a 1 or a 2. But I found this mildly entertaining. 3/8.

i thought the game was very long but i5t wasnt what i thought so yea i gave it a four stars so hope you make a longer story

Extremely dumb.