Science Museum Maze

There’s a reason many people rated this a 1, and even the beginning is atrocious. Instead of running off, however, maybe you can read a book or two and learn how to write properly to shed off that wretched Scratcher syndrome.

this is dieper

At least the 12 year olds are doing something... (Not you Avo, you're definitely the winning 12 year old)

There are many things that can be improved in this story, as is it's too short. Your other story was just longer than a thunderdome (if you don't know what that is just know that you don't want a story to be that short).

This story is less than 1k words which I don't think could even pass as a short story with most people, and I'm not saying write and epic but this needs a lot more.

Now with the choices, there's a ton of options. That's good, some stories lack the freedom you giver here, but there's a point where there's TOO many options.

I don't mean you have a crazy list that takes 5 minutes to scroll, you don't have even 10 on each page which is still too much in my opinion, but you have all these options and hardly any context to go with them.

So again we're at the too short issue. With practically nothing on each page you're either going to be confusing to the reader and/or very boring.

On the most part, your options make sense, even if some like the tunnels number 1 and 2 which never got labeled as such could be better described. Maybe one on your left and one on your right?

A main reason having it so short is bad is that you're severely lacking world building, character building, and descriptions of the reader's surrounding.

I'm tired, hope this is helpful not going to write any more.

Ok, a straight-forward premise and not-loving that it tells me I date a computer on the first page (also, how is this relevant to the plot unless she gets sick with a virus – a computer virus! See what I did there?). The spelling, punctuation and grammar are all over the place but so is the story so I just assume the writers are young. To be honest I don’t really fancy reading this one so I just chose not to press the button. You shouldn’t have an end game link on the second page. You should get a grown-up to proofread this and work on your story branching.

What a disgrace to all triplets of talking mice everywhere.

Who the fuck starts off a story with that type of sentence lol.
I kept dieing, i suq.

It is very bad

Dieing sucks.

Electrifying story telling with a pinch of raw houmer.