THE SEA TRIP

I like the premise of having to do certain things in order to make a journey around the world work. I could see you starting to add the elements in, and I saw you using advanced game items- but I had to rate this as a 1 due to complete breakdown of play-ability and the spelling and grammar and graphic errors that persisted throughout. A quick co-editor or proof reader could solve a lot of those before you published. I recommend taking the time to flesh this out and get it proof read and return to publish this. I would love to take a sea adventure.

Oh no...
That was my response to the first page of this...whatever it is. It was also my response to the second page and every page thereafter.
8 out of 100. Would recommend to anyone needing a point.

On most keyboards, the caps lock key is just above the shift key. Please, make sure it is turned off next time you decide to write a story. I assume you know how to read; if you do, then you should've already noticed that there are rules about what should be capitalized and what doesn't. And I'm sure you've also seen those weird things we call punctuation. I know it's hard (it's not!), but please use them too.

I probably shouldn’t say this game is awful, since you’re most likely a young child and that’d make you cry. But, because I was a kid just a few years ago, I believe that most children can look at something like Magellan (which you did read), then at their game, and realize which one is better and what the differences are. If I compare your game and Magellan 1, I notice that one of them has better grammar, punctuation and spelling, is longer, has a plot and characters, has more choices that aren’t random and actually matter, has no items and is all around better. Guess which one that is? And if you decide to read more high rated stories in the future, you’ll notice that a single one is written with the author’s caps lock turned on, with no punctuation and bad spelling.

Unless you have a really good reason to use items, don’t use them. Here, you could’ve easily done without them, because using items to continue is pointless. The variables for days and food seem to be useless too, since you never used them for anything.

This story is far too random to be enjoyable. It seems that you were too lazy to write any other path than the north one, and so decided to just write some quick deaths and call it finished. If you felt bored after only a few minutes of writing (because I doubt you spent any more time than that on this short thing), then you shouldn’t publish stories anymore. Why should we like your story if you don’t even like it enough to put some effort in it?

No, the equator isn’t on fire, stop sleeping during geography lessons. And if it was, then a metal suit wouldn’t save you. Metal has very good heat conductivity, so if you put it in a fire, it would quickly warm up to the temperature of the fire and cook you alive. If your house is ever on fire, please get out of there as fast as you can and call the firefighters, don’t try this.

I grabbed a bag o' ship. Also, this may have been the least effort I ever had to put into a storygame to get to the end. Please, spend your time more wisely, like community service.

Wow Micha, I am glad that Micha and Micha like this storygame.
Now for my review:

I took a shit this morning that wrote a better storygame than this.

Why would you do this?