The Make-Believe Sandbox

I'm really impressed with this game.

There are certain times when, in a storygame, I simply cannot find any errors, and the ones I do are very, very minor. This is one of those times.

By the end of the storygame, I had a heavy heart and played through the other endings, just to see what I could get.

The only thing I would point out as technically "bad" is the cliche plot of it. The memories, then death, like Snow, and a lot of other Romance/Dating games I can't remember. I feel as though this has been done to death, and it would be interesting to see a change.

The meaning and plot were powerful in this game, and I recommend it heavily.

5/8.

I'm giving you a six. It was well done. The plot was good and the characters were pretty interesting as well. I felt that the boy was a bit more interesting than the girl though because of his past.(Which, actually, was pretty sad in a good way. It wasn't overly dramatic or emo and he actually had a good reason to be a little depressed). Also, nice use of pictures.

Some things that I think could have helped was the overall animeish themes. For example, when the girl lost her bikini at the beach. I thought to myself, "Oh come on." I'm not really upset with you but the whole genre who does this, it seems, EVERY anime or so. To me, it's just shameless nudity.

Overall, it was a good romance. I would just try to tighten up the dialogue(make it a bit more realistic) and try to cut down on the anime weirdness.

Good job.

Very, very well done. I agree with what others have said; it's a beautiful story, like Snow and The Ocean's daughter. One comment to improve it though: proofread it one more time. There's a couple places where there are little mistakes that can take away from the otherwise wonderful story you've written. (one I remember in particular is using FOUR instead of FOR). That aside, it's a great game, and a fantastic job for your first storygame. I look forward to seeing what you will write in the future!

imma cry man thats sadddd

This was so kawaii desu! (^///^)❤❤ I especially loved Yuina-chan! She was sooooo tsundere OwO. Arigato for this awesome work, Senpai! Daisuke! UwU ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

that was so sad and beautiful

Very sad, also obviously anime-based.

Beautiful story. It reminded me a lot of erased for some reason and It liked it a lot.

Even though I'm someone who ended up marrying a childhood friend in real life, I gotta say that opposite gender childhood friend romance is really cliche and also has little basis in reality. Most childhood friends are the same gender, and you don't really "love love" (romantically love) someone when you're ~6 years old. Furthermore, the whole Yuina is a goddamn stalker but it's OK because she's female thing is also... urgh. This is... a trope piece, let's say—which is especially apparent from the gratuitous Japanese names—but good writing on the whole.

5/8

This story is pretty heavily based off of slice of life romantic anime. Less fan service because it's a book (but it's still there).

If you're into anime give this a read.