Player Comments on The Make-Believe Sandbox

I'm really impressed with this game.

There are certain times when, in a storygame, I simply cannot find any errors, and the ones I do are very, very minor. This is one of those times.

By the end of the storygame, I had a heavy heart and played through the other endings, just to see what I could get.

The only thing I would point out as technically "bad" is the cliche plot of it. The memories, then death, like Snow, and a lot of other Romance/Dating games I can't remember. I feel as though this has been done to death, and it would be interesting to see a change.

The meaning and plot were powerful in this game, and I recommend it heavily.

5/8.

I'm giving you a six. It was well done. The plot was good and the characters were pretty interesting as well. I felt that the boy was a bit more interesting than the girl though because of his past.(Which, actually, was pretty sad in a good way. It wasn't overly dramatic or emo and he actually had a good reason to be a little depressed). Also, nice use of pictures.

Some things that I think could have helped was the overall animeish themes. For example, when the girl lost her bikini at the beach. I thought to myself, "Oh come on." I'm not really upset with you but the whole genre who does this, it seems, EVERY anime or so. To me, it's just shameless nudity.

Overall, it was a good romance. I would just try to tighten up the dialogue(make it a bit more realistic) and try to cut down on the anime weirdness.

Good job.

Very, very well done. I agree with what others have said; it's a beautiful story, like Snow and The Ocean's daughter. One comment to improve it though: proofread it one more time. There's a couple places where there are little mistakes that can take away from the otherwise wonderful story you've written. (one I remember in particular is using FOUR instead of FOR). That aside, it's a great game, and a fantastic job for your first storygame. I look forward to seeing what you will write in the future!

imma cry man thats sadddd

This was so kawaii desu! (^///^)❤❤ I especially loved Yuina-chan! She was sooooo tsundere OwO. Arigato for this awesome work, Senpai! Daisuke! UwU ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

that was so sad and beautiful

Very sad, also obviously anime-based.

Beautiful story. It reminded me a lot of erased for some reason and It liked it a lot.

Even though I'm someone who ended up marrying a childhood friend in real life, I gotta say that opposite gender childhood friend romance is really cliche and also has little basis in reality. Most childhood friends are the same gender, and you don't really "love love" (romantically love) someone when you're ~6 years old. Furthermore, the whole Yuina is a goddamn stalker but it's OK because she's female thing is also... urgh. This is... a trope piece, let's say—which is especially apparent from the gratuitous Japanese names—but good writing on the whole.

5/8

This story is pretty heavily based off of slice of life romantic anime. Less fan service because it's a book (but it's still there).

If you're into anime give this a read.

noice

I liked it quite a bit. It was short, simple, and fun to play through!

YUINA SENPAI NUUUUU I SPIT OUT MY PIZZA ROLL I WAS SO SAD WHO WILL BE MY WAI FU NOW! I HAVE TO TAKE A 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP aight ima head ouut hit the juul homie gsmall dicc gang

It was ok

nope

Thank you, there are select few games on this site that make me feel a little more complete.

So... is there even a good ending for this game? I mean if you choose your love to be your first love then she would be irreplaceable even if there is someone that totally looks and resembles like her, right?

Touched my heart. Well done.

*literally crying*

*sigh* yet another story similar to snow.
Still, it was well written and good to see you have somewhat different endings.

sad

sad

a...amazing :3

That was amazing I have to say write more like that! 8/8

8/8 Loved the writing. Such a sad story but for anyone who has ever experienced love, they know this sadness.

Sad story...

Certainly very well done, maybe would have been good if somehow the choices would have felt more important and to some extent would've wanted more Sakko :)

I got the "...stayed with her" sad ending vary good tho

I feel like there wasn't that much of a storyline.

I like it.

I admire the story and how the characters were developed, but isn't the sad ending a bit of a cliché? Don't take it the wrong way but I've read to many novels (visual, book form, and online stories like this) where there are endings that have a buildup of emotion inside you and then break them down. Still, I don't mind having this happen as long as there is a good sense of a story. All in all, 8/10

This is very similar to Snow- not that that's a bad thing! There was some great and moving writing here.

My feeler is broken..

AMAZING! almost made me cry... definetly a favorite

Beautifully written, good use of Anime pictures and moving storylines. I would suggest it could be a little longer so you can see the characters over the years, possibly have other characters who also interact but as this stands it's pretty beautiful :)

A very sad story that the main character had to go though the same thing again after all of that happening to him.

That was sad. I wish I chose someone instead...

*sniff*

I started to tear up to the Yuini part. It's so sad.

Not bad at all, it was a bit short, but the story was a sweet one.

6/8 Was entertaining. I enjoyed reading through it, and there were rarely any errors.

... this is really good and depressing at the same time.

Its sad and touching but its really good if it can make me cry .

DUDE THIS IS SO SAD I ALMOST CRIED!

she died too fast after the car accident

Y u make every girl die?

So sweet and so sad. Poor Keito. It was a little short, and not a lot of choices that made much difference in the ending, but it was a sweet story.

I loved it. Simply loved it.

This is a lot like Snow. In the "you were trying to copy that story's style" sense. But with the addition of anime cliches.
I've played it several times, and it seems the "right" choices are pretty obvious. The emotion isn't quite as transparently manipulative as most L&D, so that's nice. Good length also, although it should have been proofed better.

THIS WAS SO SAD! Just....ugh man. Have me crying in the middle of class when i should be doing work but came here. Excelent story

Okay that was pretty good. And also sad. I lost both of them could this get any more depressing.

That was the bestest story in the world... I can't even explain how horrible Keito must feel.

Absolutely beautiful, brought tears to my eyes.
It was very much a story themed on Snow, but with a japanese theme.

Great story and concept. A bit more fleshing out and length would be nice, but otherwise, great story!

It was very short and very sweet.

GREAT story... but HATE ending... please make it happier

Just amazing. That's all I can say.

nice feels, great detail, and it left the reader wanting for more. all around good job

I would've loved it to be just a tad longer, but it was still one of my all time favorites. I almost cried...So many feels. ;-;

It was very beautiful. Fantastic job!

I really thought it'll have a good ending. Damn...

Beautiful!

one of the best love storygames ive played well done one question how did you make the moving text? it looks cool

Full Moon? Think ive heard of it. Havent read it though. I will look into it. If this story seems too much like it, i will gladly change or delete it

Out of curiosity, was thus based on a manga? I know that a bunch pg.the photos are, bit your story remids me of this Manga called Full Moon. A the protagonist (Japanese) falls in love with a child hood friend at her teens, and on a devistating turn of events, the love pf that protagonist is sent on a airplane to America where it crashes at sea. I wont give u a full synopsis, but eventually, the protagonists has to choose to let go

Ooh, nice. It was well written, sad, but very typical for a love story.
Now, what do I mean?
A lot of love stories, especially on the site, always end up with (spoiler) the love interest dieing in some form and another. You did that here, and there was no way to change it. Love stories don't need to be sad to be romantic, although a depressing end can be very influential, it sort of breaks the point of the struggle you made between the main character's love for Sachiko, and Yuina.
It just... ended. And that annoyed me personally. It was unchangeable, and disregarded what I thought would be the focus of the story. I think it could use more perhaps a path that isn't so melancholic?
Nice story though 6/8

Short and sweet. :3

Way too depressing...way too sad...

Poor kid =( Life loves to screw him over doesn't it. Well anyway, excellent story!

Fantastic. The boy had to think between the girl who he haas known who died and the girl who's with him now.

I just kept replaying (^^) Sachiko...Yuina...Poor Keito!
The only flaw in this game is that it is not featured, though it deserves to be.

so sad... I replayed until I found all the endings and they were all so sad...

me myself am not into a love dovey smoochy coochy stuff but this has an exception, in my eyes.
it was really sad and i am a huge anime fan including everything with it. i loved the pics and the story itself and im sure others will too.
great work!
BYE!!! :)

So sad....
Rated as 8

A wonderful game. I haven't felt this moved since I read Warriors Book 3, and, well...I have no words. I also liked the pictures. One thing you can improve on is a few grammatical errors.

This deserves Featured Game more than anything.

love bites

SO SAD TTATT

Sooooo... sad

Wahhh...so sad.
Yuina died too :(

Beautifully written. I need to play again for another ending!

It's good...

Awesome Approves!
This was a very nice story. I won't call it a copy of Snow, but it had some similar features. The pages were for the most part lengthy and smooth, and there were hardly any grammatical errors. The only thing I didn't really like was the end, although that's more of an opinion than anything.
5/8

...i rated it 8...

I'm not sure what to say. The first read through was good. I readily clicked links, wanting the next page. The second play through was just as satisfying, or pretty close. The game lacks some replay value, with roughly 5 similar endings, but accomplishes its primary intention. If are more endings I missed let me know!

You just gotta love this game.

Note for readers: grab a box of tissues before you begin.

A beautiful story. Reminded me of Snow and The Ocean's daughter, two really good games on this site. Well done, Truly good for a first storygame. Looking forward to more of your writing