Try Not To Die!

Well, it wasn't the best written story that's for sure. But I have seen worse on here, so I won't dock any points on that. I also added you one point, because you had two ways to reach the ending of the story. A good idea, and the story is interesting in a mysterious, don't know what is going on kind of way. But bad choices, and WAY TOO many deaths, keep this from being one to recommend. Sorry, better luck next time.

Seriously, how do you expect anyone to enjoy that? The outcomes had nothing to do with the choices, no clues were given, the only way to proceed is arbitarily clicking random links.

Also, computers do not contain explosives. Also, they don't talk, as you have clearly set the story in the modern world.

If you are going to make a fantasy world, elaborate on it, don't just take the real world and make crazy, unexplained shit happen.

Finally, your writing really sounds like a little kid when the "winning" path is to run home to mummy. Please. Don't do this to our minds.

How are people to know what to do? You leave no hints as to the best possible action, this is really frustrating for your player because he dies a lot without having any real input. Also, don't worry about indenting. Make sure you complete your story before publishing next time. Not a terrible first effort.

This is one of the worst games I've played on this site. The "good" ending, prefixed with the words "Finally it's over" pretty much summarises my entire experience with this appalling shitcake of a game.

What on earth is good about this? I guess you can spell, and form cohesive sentences. That might be a plus. But why put so many unnecessary death links? It's as if you made a link to a new page, but then couldn't be bothered to put something interesting there so you just put DEATH instead. Death death death.

Tbh I think this would be a kinda cool story if you just made less "dead" ends and added more story and less random; the thing with computers and checkpoints is a cool theme; maybe make it a kind of like matrix thing?

Bad length, bad difficulty... and an iffy maturity level. But the rating is correct:
3/8

Need MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah like a boss. I didn't die once! Boom!

What the....

Did I lose? I ended up with endless nothingness.