WarGames

It's slightly disappointing to see the areas that lack heavily in this story, although I do see that there is room for growth and additional editing. Therefore, a lot of the potential in this was wasted.

Concept: The game is obviously set on an island that goes by the name 'Desert Peak', where you fight an unknown enemy for an unknown reason at an unknown time, etc. So either you just did not want to describe it or the character is not meant to know what is happening during the war. You do not at all give the reader an idea of the protagonist's emotions or feelings, neither do you give a backstory that the reader can use as a way to distinguish the characters personalities. Another thing you should definitely give reference to is the landscape of the area. At the start, you only mention the protagonist on a ship taking part in an amphibious assault to attack an island, the average soldier should actually know who and why they are invading.

Plot: There wasn't really much development or backstory or over-arching story in this game. It was virtually just a call to arms where the character has to fight for survival. It's also very hard to root your emotions into the protagonist as he doesn't express any description of the feeling. Plot-wise, I don['t think that there is enough description here to make for a good, storytelling game.

Characters: As is with many of the other stories in this site, your protagonist(s) have no real personality or emotion as I have said before. Usually, second person stories like this one have characters that start off blank, without emotion or personality. This is because the story is supposed to shape the reader's mind into imagining it. But this can't really be done without the support of the story itself, but clearly, the stories plot is too inferior to successfully intervene with the characters and the reader's interpretation of them.

Themes: As I said before, this story does not really have a plot or theme to go with it, apart from a fight for survival and a gauntlet style war game genre. Most stories like that work okay without too much of a theme, but this story barely has a theme thus making it harder to relate to the concept of the characters and the setting.

Structure: One thing that is good about the structure of this story is that it is not very linear, the story basically tries to get you moving on one path and if you slip into different directions - death is the result. But, the deaths are also all the same and there is no difference in the deaths to make it intriguing or mysterious in any way.

Grammar/Spelling: I really don't pay much attention to this kind of stuff and I am just going to say you did a pretty good job in that area.

Overall rating: 2/8

Ugh. Poor grammar. Pages are, in my honest, humble opinion, too short. The story was confusing and the good ending was...well, I can't really complain about the ending. There are several good games on this site where the good ending involves you dying (Death song, for example), but this is not one of them. 2/8.

N way to win, and it just asks if u have a SuperDragon. I didn’t. I don’t even know if getting that’s an option. Whatever. 1/8

I didn't understanding the story at all!
2/8...

That was...fun. Needs more story though.

Amusing to read and a good length. I did find it annoying however that I had to confirm what gun I had in my possession.

Couldn't find a way to win the game.

Lack of both logical story progression and caring about what it is you're doing plague this tale.

Not me cup of salt =-O

I don't get this story.