Where the HELL am I???? : Chapter Three

I thought this was an improvement from the previous installment, in terms of both writing and content, although it is still extremely linear. It kind of works for the story though, since the inevitability of it all seems to reinforce the bleak mood of the story, but if you like seeing different possibilities play out, then this may not be the game for you.

Nice read, and this one seems to have more choices than previous storygames in this series. It does still feel linear, although that's to be expected when this is a series.

I agree with Katie and think that this series should just be one big storygame. Other than being able to release chapters bit by bit, I don't see any advantages to making this one a story. It feels like each storygame doesn't have enough closure for it to be a standalone game.

Looking forward to chapter four.

I’m intrigued to see what happens next! Please post the next part!

uh what happened the fights could have been longer there could have been better options i'm like i know you can do better come on now

Hi,

A couple more comments on your story.

Suddenly the other door opens and a small, Asian girl, around the age of ten enters the ring frighten.
Should that be "enters the ring looking frightened." ?


He looks a bit concern.
Should that be "He looks a bit concerned." ?

Then in a blink of the eye he's gone.
Commonly that phrase is "in the blink of an eye".

Finally a door opens and hell hound are send in to rip you both to pieces.
That should be either "a hell hound" or "hell hounds".

You decide that he's had enough f your cruelty and so you kill him.
Just a typo here: "of your cruelty"

Hope this helps! Keep up the good work. I haven't written anything yet.

I thought this sentence was awkward:

"What did you think you were traded in for to be?"

I started with chapter 3, so maybe I missed something in earlier chapters.

Maybe "Why else do you think you were traded in?"

This was very enjoyable.

Can't wait to start Chapter 4!!!

Much much better so far. I saw from your profile that you haven't been on in years but if you come back keep writing. You also should just string these stories all into one.

Getting better than the first two. Interesting.