Player Comments on a guide to a dumbass girl

Man this is some hilarious shit. It really isn't a storygame so idk if it should've been published, but I am amazed and confounded by it. Like this is some immaculately preserved teenage rage right here. You even gave the reader an option to be slightly rude to you in the middle of this rant just so that they could catch any stray angst that could not be directed at anybody else being confronted in this story. I cannot help but admire the audacity of a work that's willing to try and throw hands with the reader just in case they seem like they're asking for it. That's incredibly funny! This entire game feels like it was written down in a rush, and you're kind of just along for the ride hearing about everything that makes this person upset-- Getting just barely enough context to understand that there is a grievance but not enough to actually know what happened. We only know that those kids from band class can FUCK OFF! And those friends who are assholes can FUCK OFF! And us, who are reading this, whatever our opinions are, FUCK OFF! That is based. And it's even funnier still that the author readily admits when things get to her, she makes no false overtures of immunity to bile, but she's still willing to tell us to fuck off, which is heroic in its bizarre way. To so willingly and brazenly wield the belligerent brain of a child and the bloodied heart of a champion simultaneously makes me chuckle.

It's also, for all its lack of polish, extremely unfiltered and genuine, which I think was the main thing that made me feel actually sad at the point where the author talks about her strange guilt that she couldn't comfort her girlfriend. Because I remember when I was a confrontational teenager and the world was new to me, and every feeling felt like the biggest thing in the world and every thing that was happening felt like it would be that way forever, and I discovered that my own friends had their wounds I couldn't help them with, and even sometimes my own girlfriend was hurting in ways I couldn't fix. This is a very painful thing to learn growing up that sometimes the only thing you have to give is yourself, and you have to hope for the best. Now I was a precocious autist at that age so I probably would have phrased it differently. It reminds me of primordial days, when I had almost written several things like this story in my time, but my cringe nerves drove me to delete it in cowardice.

The next chapter about things the author likes is considerably less interesting. It's like the author had to take a break to calm down, which I suppose is reasonable but it really makes it feel like a conversation I didn't want but also couldn't participate in if I did. The bizarre screed peters off at this point, as does the end game links which used to tie into the author's deranged teenage warrior spirit but simply became "End game and leave comments" some time ago, which is just disappointing. Insider tip here, but we actually added the option to end the game and leave comments on every page, it's up in the corner there, there's a little button! I was hoping the options to quit out would remain unique, and possibly even ramp up with time. Maybe they would be unique to each circumstance, like, "Really!? You were willing to listen to me through all the last 8 things but you're leaving NOW? How about you FUCK OFF!" or "Oh so now that I'm criticizing the Monkeypants Brigade by Bimblyborp on youtube you're not willing to listen? Well isn't that so TYPICAL of the Monkeypants fandom! We didn't need a pantshead like you around either you can FUCK OFF!" and other suchlike things, I dunno. I realize this part is probably less constructive criticism as such and more just ways the story could have made me laugh in particular.

But speaking of ways the game made me laugh, I do think the icing on the cake here is that the link to Chapter 3 (the APOLOGY) is broken. Like, what the hell. I had to listen to you hating on all those people, and sometimes hating on me not because any of my own choices in the game, but JUST IN CASE I was homophobic or hated furries or whatever, and recieving an apology is not even an OPTION. It BREAKS THE GAME to even ASK for the apology. I will never know what the next page says and I have to click on the end game and leave option like all the schmucks who stopped caring before the game ended.

Were I the age you are now I probably would have relished this opportunity to attack another child, but now I'm old and sentimental and see myself in other people and it's very annoying, so I feel obligated to encourage you to continue writing... As long as it's not this type of game. It really does not stand up to the rules of the assignment here, but clearly the FEELING to make something is there-- But emotions are like horses, you know. It's best you learn how to direct them in productive directions before you go on a ride. Keep readin' books or whatever, probably read more games around the site to get a better idea of acceptable frameworks and story structures where you can present these emotions in ways people who aren't entertained by weird off-kilter things like I am can understand them. This game will probably be unpublished by the time you read this comment-- Indeed, I might not even post this review in time-- and that's likely a good thing. You will probably find this story cringy in a few years, if not a few months, unless what I'm reading is not the passing fury of a middleschooler but the origin story of the shadiest and most perpetually pissed off human to have ever lived. But you're still changing at this age, and who knows, maybe you have some good storygames ahead of you! Just probably don't take shortcuts and post disorganized rants where links are broken and choices don't mean anything before you get there.

Sorry if I am being harsh, but if you trauma-dump like this, of course I would be harsh.

:(

This isn’t a fun CYOA story. This isn’t even a CYOA story. This is a full-on rant, and a rant no one wants to care about. You do not need to put your personal issues on this site (and contradict your sexuality). It just makes you look like a loser who only has the metaphorical balls to put your personal issues on the site in full published “glory” while pretending to not care what anybody thinks.

No one likes your attitude and the fact that you bluntly dismiss those who are normal people and DO NOT CARE, so do not rant like a terrible person on this site, take this down, talk to a therapist or two, and just make normal storygames. It is easy if you want to. Normal storygames are more entertaining and don’t force the unwilling community to listen to your problems.

Hope you get better than this garbage.

Very good!

So reading this, it’s pretty clear that you’re the problem. Implying the reader doesn’t respect you simply because they came to this site to read stories and not be trauma dumped is egotistical and narcissistic.

Now let’s go into each and every single reason why you suck as a human being, and remember: you’re the one who broadcast this.

For starters, if you’re lying to someone and saying you don’t hate them completely, the implication is that you’re not particularly fond of them. How do you, as a human being capable of reasoning skills, get upset when they say the feeling is mutual?

“I did literally nothing to her.” You literally just admitted to lying to her and expressing distaste. Is this satire of some kind, or are you completely ignorant of your own behavior?

“So. I have tried my absolute fucking best to be nice to people, and sometimes it includes insulting them as a friend.” Oh look. More shitty behavior. Ignoring the obvious statement of sometimes people don’t like to be insulted, allow me to ask you two questions:

1. Did you explain to them that you weren’t trying to be malicious and was just trying to tease?
2. When you saw that they were upset anyways, did you apologize and refrain from making such jokes in the future?

Part of the reason why she told you to jump is cause you’re a furry? Yeah, furries get dunked on a lot. Did you try just giving her the middle finger and moving on with your life instead of crying to strangers on the internet?

Oh my God. Bitch, call a suicide hotline if you can’t afford a therapist. Even if you’re not actually suicidal, you’ll be better off talking about your problems to someone who actually cares about your well being.

“Yes, I’m a lesbian, fuck off.”
Nobody here really cares who you fuck. But I will say if your own partner is having trouble wanting to be around you, then I still don’t get why you thought a bunch of people on the internet was a good idea. Can’t you, idk, vent to her or something?

Look, man. I bust my ass at work to make enough money for food cause this government shutdown has got my household in a precarious situation. So when I come here for a quick escape and the first thing I see is some carpet muncher whining about problems I would gladly trade my own for? It’s a little frustrating.

I’m too done with this drivel to read about your interests. Look, it’s clear you need to talk to someone about your problems, so either get a therapist or take your friend’s advice and jump.

Hey TenBinsOfMercury,
First off, I'd just like to say, thanks for sharing this and I'm sorry about all the shit that you're going through.

It sounds like you're having a rough time of it, and I don't blame you for being frustrated.

You sound like a kind person who wants to do better but is dealing with a lot. I think with regards to comforting people, all I can say is just being there is half the battle. Don't beat yourself up about how you comfort your girlfriend. if you're trying, then I feel like you can only get better with time. You sound like a someone who has a lot to offer the world, so don't be discouraged.

I think rather than publishing this piece on the site, it might be better to talk to someone. Talk to a therapist or a counsellor, or your IRL friends. They will be better suited to help you out. You will come out of these difficult circumstances, you just got to find a way to cope with everything that's going on in your life.

Keep your chin up, and keep writing games! Your bombardat game made me laugh, but I would like to see how you would approach more serious writing. I think you should write an earnest story for a change, I'm sure it would do quite well. I'm sure you have ideas. If you need help, post on the forums. Maybe you can post excerpts of your writing, and people can help with specific aspects like character, plot, narrative, and style.

I bet you got some great stories. Write them! The world deserves to be enriched by your talent!

All the best!

Uhm...what did I just fucking read?
1) It's mostly your fault, ever heard of saying "I'm sorry but I need a little time" or BEING KIND FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
2) ARE YOU LIKE TEN?! It's your fault that you're hanging around these people, and it's your fault you're how you are
3) Blaming other people is crazy....Reading this from your perspective just made people hate you more.
4) NO ONE CARES ABOUT FOR FUCKING BITCH ASS DRAMA, SO SHUT THE HELL UP, WE AREN'T YOUR THERAPISTS

"Even fools who keep silent are considered wise; when they close their lips, they are deemed intelligent." - Proverbs 17:28

I'm not sure what to make of this. The plot was all over the place, the main character unlikable and the theme non-existent. There's an overreliance on the crutch word 'fucking' that makes the writing fucking terrible. The narration cannot make up its mind: the description states the author doesn't care what others think of her, but the rest of the story shows otherwise. There's also a broken link (part 3: the apology doesn't work---both literally and figuratively), which on this site means your 'story' will be unpublished for being incomplete.

Alright, to the author, if you're still reading this comment, congrats! You're not as thin-skinned as I initially thought. Here's some actual advice.

First, journaling may help if you find it therapeutic, but not everything you write has to be shown to the world. It's better to keep some thoughts to yourself. This is especially true if you fluctuate between fuming because of what others think of you to loudly pretending nothing anyone says affects you whatsoever.

If you want someone to listen as you trauma-dump, instead of getting the reader to click encouraging 'go on' links like some sort of dystopian, one-sided replacement for human interaction, I suggest therapy. Understanding any repressed emotions and limiting beliefs you have would help you overcome them. Most schools should have a counselor you can talk to about your issues.

Lastly, this is a writing site, so any feedback you receive would be judging you on the quality of what you have written. If you do not want comments from people who disagree with you, leave your storygame unpublished. Share the link to it with specific people if you want the comment section to be an echo chamber of hollow praise and exaggerated pity, whatever floats your boat---or bins, I suppose.

I don't care.

SYBAU🗣🗣🗣🗣💔💔🥀🥀

Gaaaaaay

Well first off, you said nothing of importance and you're saying too much of it. As usual you contribute nothing and are offended by everything.

Also you claimed you were a degenerate bisexual in your profile and then in this you said you were a BIG FAT lesbian. Make up your fucking mind.

That's the problem with your retarded generation today, you run around on your little gay rainbow spectrum thinking none of this shit matters and have no fucking commitment to anything. It's probably why your little girlfriend doesn't like you.

Lol, fag.

Oh okay then, we'll probably just delete this later and then ban you since you don't care.

Didn't want a comment? Tough shit. Shouldn't have tempted fate.