A Man to the Slaughter
, #47 for
played 3,284 times (finished 240)
"wandering through the desert"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.
Blood guts and gore. Oh yeah, and cows.
It’s never impressive to read a story that has four sentences, then one link, then you end the game. It is nice to have different choices and options on the first page, but an ending that quickly, without any kind of warning is really just kind of pointless. At the very least (and I do mean least), you could have added a hint in that first four sentences to indicate that making the wrong choice here will lead to instant death. But if you’re that interested in ending the story, you might as well have put the End Game link on the first page so people can get their free point without even having to click a single link.
Later in the story, when it appears you actually have an option, there are two identical options (to run outside). Strangely enough, one of those options ends the game while the other does not! That really doesn’t make a lot of sense, either. But I suppose a story with genetically modified attacking cows isn’t really supposed to make sense.
Overall, this really isn’t a good story. Beyond the fact that there’s no story here, there are many punctuation errors, sentence fragments, and missing capital letters. I can’t really see why this story was written. On the other hand, the idea here could be worked into something much more effective, but that’s going to take quite a bit of work starting from what exists in this part of the story.
on 7/8/2018 7:07:34 PM with a score of 0
The intial plot of the story is pretty strange. Apparantly a bunch of cows being cloned at a slaughterhouse facility turn on the Humans and wreck havoc. I haven't seen a single story here like it, so the originality is very fresh. However, it has its faults...
First of all, the grammar was a minor issue, minor yes, but still an issue. It wasn't as big as some of the other low-quality and/or not-famous works of this site, and it was as simple as the occasional forgetting to capitilaize, punctuation, etc.
Second of all, you could've worked the story out better. Its a very original piece to this site, nothing like a BerkaZerka "Surrvev teh zumbehz", or a Warrior Cats ripoff that you would occasionally see with the low stars (seriously though, what's with all the hype about Warrior Cats? There's like 10 of them here!). As for this one, we could've seen a more of an RPG-ish or Sandbox-ish storygameplay here, but it felt very limited as there weren't many destinations or items to use. Adding to this, the story could've been better written out and have more of a detailed texture.
Third of all, and this isn't much of anything, but I noticed towards the end, if/when you join up with the cows, there is a "death gimmick" which is "...but for now this is THE END." I noticed how you didn't do this for any of the other deaths previously. So, if you are going to add the "THE END" gimmick, it HAS to be for all deaths! Otherwise it'll give a less of an experience for the reader.
Tacking with this, is the fact of the random deaths. Seriously? If you join the SWAT, (as an example), this is death reason: "oh, you killed some cows, but some cows killed you. 1o1 skrub!" (not an actual quote.) Really? Since where/when did a bunch of random cows come up to me? Wasn't I already pwning them? How could they have killed me? The deaths in this game aren't really that explained. They can be kind of random. However, some of them are (sort of) realistic. For example, if you start and then proceed to run straightaway to the gates, you die. I guess this kind of makes sense considering you're bare-handed, but even if later you get a weapon and then run to the gates you STILL die?(!) ...Why?
As a little side-comment, is there anyway to beat this? I can't find an ending where you join up with the SWAT/Humans, its only with the cows and plus you die if you join them. It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice... or maybe there is a way to win, its just that I haven't been playing as much as I should be...
-- Fazz on 7/30/2014 2:15:09 AM with a score of 0
Well, an interesting story to be frank.
Perhaps the plot could be fleshed out a little, there are close to no backstory to why the cows are being slaughtered and why they revolted. I understand that this is plain to see, but stating this will 1. clear up any mistakes or errors in understanding, 2. give your story more substance. If a story like yours depends on the sole imagination of the Player, then it won't be fun.
All that being said, not a bad effort.
on 11/17/2020 1:36:50 AM with a score of 0
Haha very funny
on 8/12/2019 8:36:00 AM with a score of 0
There are so many mistakes in here. You really need to go back and proofread. The plot wasn’t great either, it was super boring, and didn’t make much sense at all.
on 8/7/2019 4:44:18 PM with a score of 0
I will keep this brief:
- Capitalize your sentences
- Use better grammar, such as on the first page when you used “their” you should have in fact used “they're”
- Spend more time on it
on 4/22/2019 2:18:00 PM with a score of 0
This was funny. I really enjoyed it because I got the ending where I joined the cows and killed the SWAT team.
-- HAHADHAGDJAHDGAJH on 8/8/2018 8:59:56 AM with a score of 0
Fricken nice bruh
on 1/31/2018 6:17:10 PM with a score of 0
YASS JOIN THE COWS!!!!!!!
on 11/27/2017 4:15:36 PM with a score of 0
"A PSP with a GTA: Liberty City Stories game.
You throw the PSP at the cows, and guess what, they kill you.
The cows start to play the PSP for a while. Eventually though, they start to find the game too frustrating, due to the fact cows have no thumbs. Then they realise the PSP has a Spiderman skin on it. Hating Toby Mcguire for what they believe to be awful acting in Seabiscuit, and being DC Comic fans themselves, the stamp their hooves on it and advance on you again, even angrier than before. You are forced to retreat back into the tower...
Who likes DC better than Marvel?! These cows are pretty freakin's stupid..."
Well, now that's interesting... ;)
I just wonder if there is any other choice besides killing myself or joining the cows?
on 11/18/2017 3:01:26 AM with a score of 0
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