Betrayer

General Recommendation: Eh. The concept is mildly intriguing, but the game doesn’t answer any of the questions is raises and is over before it begins.

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
I liked the idea of a friendship that isn’t what it seems, but what we get here is too vague and unexplained to really count as a proper execution of that idea. It feels a bit more like a teaser of that larger idea than a game in and of itself.
It’s obvious from the getgo that the main character is unhealthily dependent on “her”.
The use of almost exclusively thoughts and dialogue as narration in this story does a good job of keeping the reader uncertain about what’s really going on.
The links back to the beginning seem odd, they don’t add much.
I was expecting a twist or explanation of some kind, but “her” identity is never explained. It’s implied she might be a metaphor for something else and not a real person, especially in the death endings. The game promises “maybe you’ll find what this is all about and who “she” really is, but we never really do, unless there’s some subtextual message I wasn’t picking up on.
I get the impression that this is a story more intended to be personal to the author than accessible to the general reader. That’s fine, as long as the author understands readers aren’t going to have the same level of interest as them.

Grammar:
There are some typos.
Mastery of Language:
The language is fine, nothing jumps out about it. “Her” dialogue often seems out of place since we never learn anything else about her.

Branching: Not much. There’s a lot of rebranching and only a couple endings.

CONCLUSION: The author clearly wrote this game for themselves, not a larger audience. Though there’s nothing objectively wrong with this, it’s not really fun for other people to play

The premise behind the story, of course, is interesting. It can be quite effective to attempt to fool the reader into thinking they are reading and seeing one thing when they are, in reality, seeing something else. However, that can also be pretty difficult to pull off. This story is quite short, so it has to get things moving right away. The first page really has short and choppy sentences throughout. Is that an attempt to set the tone? It doesn’t seem to, because that pattern doesn’t continue or appear to have any special meaning.

The story, though, seems a little off. I’m not sure I understand the idea of repeating the story over and over again with the links from the end that allow you to do that. Was there something that was supposed to be different each time through? It also didn’t really make sense because at one point I never woke up again, but I could continue with the story.

Again, this was a nice idea, but I don’t feel like it ever came to closure. Clearly, the “she” was supposed to be something destructive, like drugs, alcohol, or something like that, but it never really quite reached that point. She could have been a person, and it didn’t really let me feel like I was supposed to figure that out. Was that the point? Because even if that was the point, I didn’t get the feeling that I understood.

Based off of a true story huh? I hope you are doing better. Some people suck

Eh. I liked the concept. The execution was illusive. I feel like this could have been longer and the metaphor just wasn’t working for me.

This was just too dang short and I didn’t really care about the ending. Maybe you could’ve made this some weird Alice in wonderland drug trip I dunno that would have made it more interesting in my opinion.

Overall this story needs more length, branching, explaining as well as more compelling wording because I wasn’t that interested regardless of your writing efficiency.

Quite vague, did I die, WHY IS THIS BASED OFF A TRUE STORY I'M CONCERNED!!!

It was my 300th point, so that’s something. 2/8.

Well, we can see the author being poetic. It does give the story a unique feeling, but its downfall is that this creates a lack of information. The story feels slightly random, and also the lack of information gives a very empty feeling

It's not bad, but it would have been nice if I knew more about the characters. Right now it's just overly dramatic.

I'm... Super confused. I mean, this story was supposed to be about a destructive friendship, but there was nothing in any of the paths I chose that gave the impression of the friendship being destructive. What exactly was destructive about it? Am I missing something here? Because the girl didn't actually do anything wrong that I could find.

It's an interesting concept, though very brief in it's execution. It's also very hard to tell that 'she' is anything more than a person, and it's not very clear that 'she's' something to worry about or destructive from what we see in the storygame (at least I didn't think have that view of her outside of the choices we have/the thoughts of the protagonist)