(I keep finding bugs, so this will be on and off published as I edit things :) )
I decided it would be fun to make my dad another storygame for father's day...5 years after the first one I made for him. Love you dad, happy father's day!
EDIT (4 years later): The sheer amount of family lore concerning this game is immense. It was a game that I started to make about 4 years ago for father's day, wrote about 1 "Dad Trial" of, and then promptly dropped. Every father's day and birthday since, the fact that my father has never seen the game and the fact that I never bothered to finish it has been a running joke in the family. Because he means so much to be and because I think it's really funny, I decided to finally finish the game for him for his 50th birthday. It's a thematic mess, with too much meta humor and distinctly different writing styles depending on what age I was when I wrote each section, and I hope you thoroughly enjoy it, dad.