Player Comments on Doctor Who Fanfiction

I decided to break new ground in my life this evening by reviewing a game genre I've never reviewed before. Unless I did, in which case that wasn't canonical, this is the first time I've TRULY reviewed a fanfiction to the fullest extent of my power. I thought that I could offer a unique perspective on this situation as someone who has never watched a singular full episode of Dr. Who in their lives.

I can only glean what's happening in this story using knowledge that I've absorbed through cultural osmosis. Through memes and references, I know only about the ribbed salt shaker men, the evil C-3POs, the SCP ripoff, the smiling tofu people, and that ugly hydrocephaly child whose only apparent character trait is that he hates the moon.

Luckily, right off the bat in this story, I know that I'm in my element, however, because as soon as I get to page 3, there are statues that move when I blink. Naturally, my response is to immediately do the one thing those retards SHOULD'VE done in the show (unless they did, I didn't watch that shit) and kick its ass so it knows who's boss. Unfortunately I'm playing as a slackwristed soyboy who can't punch stone, so I immediately die. But then I went back and checked the other choices, and it turns out that I never actually had a choice from the very start. It's all instant death. Even choices that don't kill you are an instant loss. When I choose to go home instead of going on an adventure (Pro tip: If you don't have a plot in mind for a choice... Why did you make it a choice?) I wind up surviving, but it still isn't a valid ending and makes me go back to the previous page.

Did I mention that the death in this game is objectively the worst kind of death? If you're that insecure in your own writing (which, honestly, you should be, there aren't any paragraph breaks, I wouldn't even read any of this if I wasn't answering to higher powers right now) that you need to guide your players to a "real" ending before you can rate it, then maybe don't give me the option to die a 3-sentence death ON EVERY PAGE.

Also who the fuck are Rory and Amy? I know who the Doctor is, he's the funny french fries and custard man. But I don't know who Rory and Amy are. What is my motivation for interacting with them? Or the Doctor, for that matter. I guess we could be staying with these people out of morbid curiousity, but there isn't a lot of motivation for either choice (not that we really have a choice) on whether to go with these time travellers or not.

From my perspective as someone who isn't a Doctorhead (I assume this is the term for people who like Dr. Who) this all seems like bullshit. All the characters sound the same, there isn't really dialogue to speak of. The only option we're ever given is whether to participate in the plot. And if we choose not to, we die.

Some standout moments are Page 11, where even if we decide against all logic to refuse to tell the only guy in this plot who seems to know what he's doing some pertinent information, it even gives the temporary illusion of freedom by not killing us immediately. But then our choices are either "Cave in and tell him anyway" or "Remain silent and fucking die". This doesn't even change the conversation in any way, because the page that caving in and telling him takes you to is the exact same as the one that you go to when you tell him the first time.

There was even a branch immediately after that which also created the brief illusion of choice, but it all winds up with the same result. I checked each of the 1-2 page "branches", and it changes nothing notable. You are predestined to crash the ship and die in the dream. Is this the thing people keep talking about when they say it's difficult to write about time travel without invalidating free will?

I could keep going with examples, but I would just be a broken record. There is no deviation anywhere. No branching of plotlines. There is only one plot, with only two endings. I've checked every page, and it's all only "follow the plot" or "die/live immediately and go back". Your reward for following the railroad to the end is to pick one of two immediate 4-second endings. Maybe there would be something to this if I were a Doctorhead who understood all the references, but judging from the other comments, this is not, in fact, the case.

Frankly, I'm amazed that a story this awful has been up this long. Other than the fact that hardly anyone relevant enough to curate things actually bothers reading the fanfiction category for quality, I have no idea how this piece of shit game survived. And I mean that literally, it's a piece of shit. It's not worthy of being called an abomination, it's not funny enough to be a shitpost. The only reason this thing probably still exists is because it's old as shit and very few people read fanfic here anymore. It's time to stop this, we must bring this story to an end. It has escaped the clutches of damnation for too long. 1/8, I would give it negative 8 if I could.

Honestly, this is exactly how not to write a FanFiction imo.

And especially how not to write a storygame.

We were given the illusion of a choice, but no real say in changing anything. All that happens if you click the "wrong choice" (besides the last two choices of stay or go, at least) is you die, and then is given the option to go back and pick the other one. The ending is unaffected by anything you may have done in the game, and is just a simple "stay or go" choice.
It's ridiculously linear, in other words.

Hell, you didn't even change much. It's literally just things that happened in Doctor Who, except there's an extra character in who changes nothing about the story.

Honestly, I've seen quite a few Doctor Who Fanfictions and that is the thing that bothers me the most.
Most of them, don't have a speck of originality in them.
For god's sake, you have a time machine and a timelord. You could invent worlds made of fire, a galaxy who's currency is color, and any of that sort of thing. You could write about going back in time and finding out Abe Lincoln really *was* a vampire hunter (except the vampires were really just the water-creatures from The Vampires of Venice).
Just there is so much potential here, but people seem to want to stick to the storyline, and I don't understand why.

Either way, giving this a low score for lack of originality.

Well your story was legible and coherent, so that's something. However it was also stolen straight from the the show. Using elements of the show or even rewriting scenes so they happen differently can make great fanfiction, but all you did was rewrite a couple scenes with a new character. This character didn't even add anything to these scenes or change them in anyway. They were completely unnecessary to the plot.

The narration was extremely boring. The pacing was rushed, there was little details and moments went by far to fast. When I'm reading all I see is what you show me. Describe the scenery, let character's actions and moments help bring them to life. Also, paragraphs! Use them.

There is also the issue of your choices. There weren't really any. Every page only had two choices, one where I lived, one where I died. It made the plot completely linear and boring. And then when I did die you wouldn't even let me end the game. Every death page only had the option of returning to the previous page. If you're going to have death pages let people die. If they want to keep playing there's a go back button for that.

In the future if you want to write a fanfic, please come up with a semi-original plot for the characters to do. With Doctor Who you have all of time and space to explore. Why don't travel with your favorite doctor to your favorite time period and save the day? Or use your imagination and you can create any possible world or future. It's all up to you, but don't just write a narrative of the show's plot.

Interesting story. Disappointed that you can't eat anything. Sorry but it's currently lunchtime and I'm hungry. Good story

5/10

The main failure of this fan fiction is the inability of the author to introduce us to the world of Doctor Who and its characters. I wasn't invested in the story because I didn't know what was happening.

The second major problem I had with the story was the pages that said you live or you die that were technically endings just looped back to the previous page. You shouldn't punish the reader for finding an actual ending just end the story there.

Your grammar and pacing were fine but the branching that makes Choose Your Own Adventures fun was nonexistent. All these factors combined are the biggest glaring issues with this story and the lack of length was problematic as well.

If you can get those things down then you'll have the means of making a decent story game.

It was actually really fun!! SPOILER ALERT


At the start when it said statue I got really creeped out. I’m not an idiot I know that it was a weeping angel
I just wanna say it was really great with all the callbacks to Matt Smith’s era as the doctor 11 out of 10

This wasn't a good story. Every time I chose something you didn't want me to, you made it so I had to go back to choose the "right" choice. I can forgive linearity when it is a long and interesting story. This story was neither long nor very interesting. And being forced to take the path that the author wants you to take makes me think you would be better off putting this on a fan fiction website than a website called Choose Your Story.

This is not interactive fiction. This is a linear story with all choices railroading you to the "real" story.

AMAZING IT WAS SO GOOD

it was epic since i love doctor who

A very fin and immersive story game and one to play again

I am severely disappointed...

good

It was enjoyable but it would have been more fun if the incarnation of the doctor was left up to the player,.if it was unknown which doctor it was but with subtle clues for the player as to which one.

I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly sure this is accurate. Don't be offended; I just don't think it's wise to hide near raw meat when you're raw meat as well and the monster might decide to go for the larger option. I know I would if given the choice. Other than that, I say it was profoundly accurate! Trust me on that; I'm a doctor.

its awesome

THIS WAS DA BEST FAN FICTION!!! MAKE A PART 2 PLSSSS!!!!

It wasn't bad but maybe flesh it out a bit by adding more or adding more serious? REALLY LIKE IT ANYWAY

I loved it. It showed me a fun way to place myself into a game that I can make my own way and I can finally live my dreams of traveling with the doctor!

This Was Amazing!!!! But I believe that there should be more choices, because I found myself dying for no apparent reason many times.

Sup peoples I loved this, it cured my school boredom so there's that??

It's kinda do or die
Um... But its a nice story

beautiful.

COOL!!!

It was great!

Very unoriginal. I love fanfiction, and I love DW fanfiction especially, because the great thing about it, you don't have to follow any canon plot, at all. You could have chosen ANY regeneration (or create a different character all together to be a 14th or 15th regeneration) and you chose Smith. Nothing wrong with it. It's your choice, but come on. You just chose him because you think he's cute or you haven't seen classic who, read the books, or listen to the big finish eps. And why are Amy and Rory here? It would make more sense for you to be the only companion that for you to piggy back on already existing stories with already existing companions.

TLDR: You had the chance to be creative and you blew it.

I love this, Im sure that anyone who decides to play this will enjoy it!

Not really a fanfic in my opinion.

I like doctor who and it was cool :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Best! Plz make romance sequel plz! ;.&

It was great and very enjoyable I think it would be cool if you made a fanfic. I've made one but it isn't very good and don't really plan to ever post it. Its just for my own enjoyment but you should definitely try!

IT IS SO AMAZING. ESPECIALLY FOR WHOVIENS.????????????

Its really good, though I wish it was a bit longer.

the story was really good to me a and my sis

Don't understand why the doctor didn't let amy help when he let Rory help, did they not think she was capable because she's a girl?? Doesn't sound like the doctor to me at all.

That was really good! I've always wanted a chooseyourstory like this and here it is!

Okay, so what I didn't like about it was that I didn't get to find out why the Angels where after us and you just made up more stuff rather than going along with the same thing you had going on. I think it's just to much of you smashing a whole bunch of episode together. But it would have been a lot better if you had kept the same storyline. Thanks for the fun! <3

You copied adventures from the show, there are way too many ways to die that you wouldn't have died from and a two year old could do a better job.

At every choice, either you die or it leads to the same thing as the other one. The outcome is always the same.

It was cool, but... Basically you just pick the obvious choice and if you pick the wrong one then you try again. It's not really a pick-your-own adventure, more like... Pick the obvious choice XD

LOVE it. Just hate how if you choose the wrong answer you die. There should be ways you can pick a different answer and not die.

I love it, BRO!!!!!

fun :)

Kinda bad. This is another linear story with illogical options and lack of description. Could you have told me who I was and where I was? I couldn't tell if I was the doctor or not until about half way through. But I'll admit I've seen worse out there, so 3/8 from me.

A little standard.. no room for actually choosing your adventure, you just follow the story that's already set out unless you want to die instantly.

it's pretty okay but the story plot is rather plain for the madness of the doctor. and other options only leads to dying...

Hi I loved the FanFiction adventure!!!
I wish I had Discoverd this sooner

And find me at www.wattpad.com

THIS IS THE BEST BIT OF DOCTOR WHO FANDOM I HAVE READ FOR A LONG TIME!!!! Please make a One Direction one?! THANKS!!!

*SPOILER ALERT TO THE SHOW AND TO THE STORY*
Um, how an you die if you are inside of a dream but kill yourself later and wake up like normal???

You have to be a Doctor Who fan to like it, and it seems to escalate a little quickly. However, the Doctor acts just like the Doctor so that's good. Not a lot of fan fiction can match his personality like that.

funny

The "good" choices are a little too obvious, and I doubt that you would end up spending the rest of your life with the doctor. No one does.

I like it. Though short it's nice.

This is great! It really flows well and it works, and I may play it again

Cute idea

gr8 especially since my avatar is a doctor who character :D

I love the fact that whenever you make a bad decision it just tells you to go back and make the right one :) That made the story-game fairly enjoyable and the writing was pretty good for a fan fic.

Awesomenessseseses

This was a cool thing that killed my boredom. You should all definitely try it!!!

I liked it, it could use some work though. Also, I died of a broken hand. Put that on my tombstone.

That was fun, I myself am not good in emergency situations, and if a weeping angel started coming after me I would probably just run around screaming! Bad news, that was not an option, good news, after that I survive through the whole thing!:)

This is absolute crap
This is basically a quick re run of a few matt smith episodes

It wasn't that exciting

Really well made, jus maybe put more length. I want to play more, otherwise it's really good! (Fine, my name is Jayden)

Really well made, jus maybe put more length. I want to play more, otherwise it's really good

Its actually a pretty good game! Its really short and I think it could use more effort, but it's actually pretty good, and worth my two minutes.

ok forgive me please i am geeky. I LOVE ITTTTT. the only thing i didnt like was that there was pretty much only one path to go on

I died twice which is very odd in retrospect. I figured I would have become platic or a ganger or somthing.

Was better than listening to my teacher

It was awesome. I love how you incorporated different episodes in

That was cool, yo

Truly amazing. It made me want to play the game over and over, reading the parts, and making different decisions to see the outcomes. And that's just what I did. Great work.

It was good, a little tedious. You based it on past episodes and although it may be easier to style the game this way, it is more original to create a story. And instead of the main character getting called "You," all the time, you could've put "(Name)" or "___" for us.

I loved it. I always wanted to make or decide what I should do if I could be in a Doctor Who story or write one myself.

Fun. :3

It was a good premise but the plot felt rushed and the witty humor that I expected, was not there. It seemed a bit silly that I would suddenly follow this 'doctor'.

awsome, i hope you will make more of theae <3

really good would paly again

Kinda fun, but I wish it could be more better

Every page had two choices: the one where you die and get sent back to the previous page, and the one that advances the story. Not really a CYOA.

AWESOME

This is the most linear story I've ever seen. That is a -bad- thing. 1/8.

I love doctor who and i like how this story went

Loved it...although I was hoping it wasn't so close to the real episodes...maybe one where it's adventures with just you and the Doctor?

it was SOOO fun and AWSOME!!!!!

Get in a police box with a mad man (doctor who fans will understand!)

I love doctor who! This is a really fun game, and i like how it mixes together several adventures. I can be tough when i rate stuff- but this game was a blast!

I love doctor who

might need a lot more diversity. it was basically "make one bad decision you die" and that, my friend, is awfully unrealistic.

I really really liked it. It was fun.

I was disappointed that it was so closely like the episodes on the show. I was hoping that this would be an adventure with just me and the Doctor so then it wouldn't be just a copy of one of the episodes.

I won!
I have fufilled my lifelong dream of becoming a companion!
YES!!! <3

Awesomeness, I died a few times but hey, it was worth it to meet the doctor. :3 lol

THis is not good, not good at all :(

Why is the whole series muddled up together? lol
Awesome though and kinda fun. Also who says no to travelling with the Doctor???!!!

That was awsome! I love Dr. Who!!!!

ummm... not very accurate as to the episodes. i would rather the 10th doctor and it was too quick. and easy. if someone just appeared in the TARDIS the doctor wouldnt be like "okay, im not gonna ask any questions just adventure with us" WAYYYYYYYYYY TOOO SIMPLE

It would've helped if you'd used paragraphs to distinguish when different people were speaking. Other than that, the game was pretty good ^_^

That's amazing! Of course that's because it's Dr. Who, but it is very wel;l written.

The writing was a little simplistic and dramatic, as is the storyline. However, it was lots of fun :)

I love Docter Who

When you die, try linking them to retry AND end game. Also, shouldn't this be in fanfiction?

not very good

being a doctor who fan, i loved it.

short but nice

Meh, good for a laugh, but way to short and predictable. Should have created new adventures, instead of recycling existing ones.

it was ok. i didn't like the fact that it was so short. also shouldn't this be in fanfic?

Shouldn't this be in the fanfic section? Also, allow some people to go to a death page when they die, it gets kinda annoying when you're not allowed to end the game.

Pretty good, should be in Fan Fiction section though, and quite linear, and at times random

Typical doctor who. However you basically just converted doctor who into text, its the same plot and everything.

I consider myself a whovian and I loved this story. I only wish that it was longer, had more in it, and had added events on top of what happened in the series. Like you and the doctor find a rock and it goes on from there. I love it all the same though 7/8 :)

The story was ok. Too bad it was so linear. But on avarage an ok story.

Good. kept me entertained for the time i played and keep it up!